10 Ways to Keep a Girl Interested over Text (2024)

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Co-authored byImad Jbaraand Hannah Madden

Last Updated: May 24, 2024Fact Checked

Give her a compliment.

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1. It will make her feel good about herself. Plus, you can tell her how cool she is so she gets the message that you like her. If your conversation is getting a little boring, flatter her with something about her personality. Stay away from anything about her looks, since that might make her uncomfortable. Try things like:^[1]

   • “I love talking to you. You always know how to make me laugh!”
   • “You have the best taste out of anyone I know. Could you help me pick a birthday gift for my sister?”
   • “I can’t believe you got the best grade in our class. You’re so smart!”

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Ask open-ended questions.

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1. Pick questions she can’t answer with “yes” or “no.” It will keep your conversation flowing well, and you can answer the questions as you go along, too.^[2] If you think of anything to ask her, try rephrasing it so she answers with a full sentence or a paragraph. Try things like:^[3]

   • “Which do you prefer: dogs or cats?”
   • “If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?”
   • “What’s your favorite video game?”

Follow up on something she told you about.

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1. Show her that you remember your previous conversations. If there’s anything you two talked about previously that you want to talk about again, bring it up in a funny, casual way. You could also ask her how a specific event went or how her hobbies are going. Try something like:^[4]

   • “So, you said you’re Drake’s biggest fan? What’d you think of his latest single?”
   • “You said you had a swim meet yesterday, right? How’d that go?”
   • “Have you been rock climbing a lot this summer? It’s been so nice out!”

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Tell her a cool story.

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1. You don’t have to brag, but try to show her that you’re interesting.^[5] Maybe you just went on vacation, bought a new car, or got a new pet. If there’s anything cool that just happened to you, tell her about it over text to keep her interested in you. Say something like:^[6]

   • “OMG, the craziest thing just happened to me. I went to Starbucks and I saw Jenna Fischer ordering a latte! I was way too nervous to say hi.”
   • “I just adopted a new dog! His name is Rocky, he’s the cutest thing ever.”

Ask her deep questions about herself.

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1. Get to know her personally over texts. You can ask about her childhood, her goals, and her aspirations in life. The more you talk about deep things like these, the more you two will form a connection. Ask questions like:^[7]

   • “Who are you closest to in your family?”
   • “What’s a happy memory from your childhood?”
   • “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”

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Create an inside joke with her.

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1. If you know her IRL, make fun of something silly that’s happened. Maybe you have a math teacher who’s never on time to class, or maybe you saw a really bad movie together last week. Remind her of it and make her laugh by saying something like:^[8]

   • “Uh oh, I’m running late today. You might as well call me Mr. Brown.”
   • “Saw a dog today that totally reminded me of the movie we saw. I can’t believe how terrible it was!”

Start a fun debate.

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1. Bring up something silly that you two can “fight” over. Pick something totally random, like whether or not a hot dog is a sandwich. It will pique her interest, and you two can disagree over text while having a funny conversation. For instance:^[9]

   • “Is Santa Claus evil? Why or why not?”
   • “Being a dog mom is a full time job. Agree or disagree?”
   • “Can soup be a drink?”

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1. Spice up your conversation with a few fun pics. If you’re out and about, text her about what you’re doing and send along a photo to show her your perspective. You can also send her these over Snapchat, but there’s something a little more special about messaging them to her directly.^[10]

   • For instance, if you’re watching a football game in person, you might send a pic of the field at half time.
   • Or, if you’re at a water park, take a quick selfie in front of the slides.

Avoid sending one-word responses.

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1. This can really throw off a conversation. If she’s asking you questions or sending you messages, don’t reply with just “yup” or “okay.”^[11] She might think you’re not interested, and she could even stop texting you all together.^[12]

   • You should also try to avoid texting her more than twice in a row. Sending double texts can seem a little desperate, and you don’t want to come on too strong.

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Ask her to meet up in person.

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1. Texting is nice, but an in-person convo is even better. If you can, try to steer the conversation toward meeting up in real life as soon as possible.^[13] You can suggest a place to get the ball rolling and see what she says.^[14]

   • Say something like, “I’ve had a ton of fun talking to you over text. Would you want to grab coffee this weekend?”
   • Or, “I know you like hiking—wanna show me a trail this weekend?”
   • Reader Poll: We asked 384 wikiHow readers about the best ways to build a connection with someone they like over text, and only 7% of people recommended bringing up super deep, philosophical topics. [Take Poll] Instead, wait until you see her in person to dive into serious topics!

   EXPERT TIP

   

   John Keegan

   Dating Coach

   John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

   

   John Keegan
   Dating Coach

   Don't overly rely on your texting skills. While dating apps can be a useful tool for connection, relying solely on them can hinder your ability to develop real-life communication skills. Successful relationships are built on in-person interaction. Try to quickly transition an online connection into a real date!

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