11 Crucial Steps to Take When Someone Treats You Badly (2024)

Listen to this article

Ever find yourself having that tight feeling inside your chest because you feel powerless towards people who constantly mistreat you?

It’s a fact that almost all of us have been in a situation where we were treated poorly by another person, but the question here is, how do you learn what to do when someone treats you badly?

If someone mistreats you, it’s just human nature to react or choose to cut these people out of your life.

However, there are instances where a person chooses to stay, although they are already being treated harshly. We may not understand this, but it’s very common, especially when the person who mistreats you is your partner.

What does it mean when someone treats you badly?

When someone treats you poorly in a relationship, it can be hurtful and distressing. It means they are disregarding your feelings, needs, and well-being. It may involve disrespect, unkindness, or even abuse. This behavior can erode your self-esteem and cause emotional pain.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should respect and support each other. If you’re facing mistreatment, it’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being and consider seeking help or evaluating the future of the relationship. Remember, you deserve love and respect.

Keep an open mind for common signs he treats you badly, and you shall know why it’s important to raise a voice.

Why do people choose to stay despite poor treatment?

No one is blind to these types of situations, yet some people choose to stay even if they are already experiencing being treated harshly by their partners or someone close to them.

Why is this so?

• You might feel like you are the only one who can understand your partner, and if you give up on them, no one would care for them as you do.
• You feel as though your partner still has the potential to change. Maybe, they might be in a stage where they need to vent and that everything will be okay.
• Your partner might be blaming you for all the things that are happening. Sadly, you might start believing all of this and think that you are lacking something that’s why your partner is mistreating you – so you try to be better.
• You also might be blocking all the bad things your partner is doing, and you start to focus on their “good traits.”These are signs that you are justifying the other person’s actions of treating someone badly, and it’s never healthy.

9 possible reasons why your partner treats you badly

People may treat their partners poorly for various reasons, often stemming from their own struggles, insecurities, or life circ*mstances. Here are 9 possible reasons

• Stress and pressure: When people treat you badly, they may be dealing with stress from work, finances, or other life challenges, making them irritable or short-tempered.
• Past trauma: Unresolved past traumas can affect how they relate to others, leading to unkind behavior.
• Insecurity: If your partner feels inadequate or insecure, they may act defensively or lash out to protect themselves.
• Communication issues: Poor communication skills can lead to misunderstandings, leading to frustration, and conflicts.
• Unresolved conflicts: Lingering unresolved issues in the relationship can lead to ongoing tensions and resentment.
• Personal issues: Your partner might be facing personal problems, such as mental health issues, that affect their behavior and emotional state.
• Coping mechanisms: Some individuals may resort to treating others poorly as a coping mechanism when they’re struggling with their own emotions.
• Lack of relationship skills: They might lack the skills to handle conflicts and express their emotions constructively.
• External influences: External factors like family or peer pressure can sometimes influence their behavior within the relationship.

11 things you need to do when someone treats you badly in a relationship

“Why do you treat me so badly? What did I ever do to you?”

Have you experienced telling this to your partner? Were you accused of being overly dramatic, or have you been shrugged off?

When is it okay to stay in a relationship and give it another chance?

What to do when someone treats you badly, and where do you start? Here are 10 things to remember by heart.

1. Ask yourself first

Most of us can ask ourselves this question, “Why do I get treated so badly?” Did you know that you are asking the wrong question?

If someone mistreats you, remember that it’s not your fault. The person who is mistreating you is the one whose words, intentions, or actions are in the wrong. Don’t burden yourself, as it’s not your fault at all.

But it’s your fault if you continue to let this happen. So ask yourself this, “Why am I letting my partner treat me badly?”

2. Address your issues

Having low self-esteem is one of the most common reasons why many people allow their partners to treat them badly.

Childhood trauma, a false belief of how relationships work, and even a mindset that your partner will still change are all reasons why you are not doing anything about your situation.

Remember this, if you don’t respect yourself, other people won’t respect you.

It’s true that how they treat you is how they feel about you, but it’s equally valid that how people treat you is also a reflection of what you feel about yourself.

If you don’t respect yourself walk away or do something about the situation, this will continue.

3. Set your boundaries and be firm with it

How you also react matters. While you have the choice to respond with aggression, it’s better to set boundaries for yourself.

It’s easy to treat people how they treat you, but is this what we want to achieve?

Once you realize your worth and have decided to talk to your partner, then it’s also time to set boundaries not just for yourself but also for your relationship.

Ask yourself this, “Is this the type of relationship that I want?”

Once that is clear, start by setting healthy boundaries in your relationship.

4. Don’t blame yourself

If you start feeling that you are inadequate for your partner, or you start feeling guilty or shameful along with depression, then these are signs that you are blaming yourself for your partner’s actions.

When people mistreat you, it’s on them.

Never allow your partner to blame you, and never blame yourself.

When someone treats you badly in a relationship, then know that this is already a red flag.

It’s one of the signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship. Remember to never allow your partner to justify mistreating you as a valid action.

5. Communicate

Communication can still do wonders even in a relationship like this. It’s an integral part of knowing what to do when someone treats you badly.

Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with your partner. Let them know how it feels when you treat someone badly.

How can you resolve your issue if you don’t?

If you ask yourself, “Why do people treat me badly?” then maybe it’s time to address the issue.

While you are taking this step, expect to notice a change in your partner’s behavior.

Your partner may welcome change and open up, but some may choose to intimidate you into avoiding change.

This is the time when you can voice out what you are feeling. Tell your partner about the boundaries you have set and let your partner know that you want to change.

6. Don’t let it happen again

You have successfully set your boundaries, but you don’t see much change.

Remember that the longer it has been this way, the more extended and more complex it will be for your partner to accept and start to change.

Don’t get disappointed just yet, and more importantly, don’t stop with your progress. We don’t want your partner to go back to the way it used to be, right?

If your partner continues to treat you badly, don’t be afraid to have the conversation again.

Know your self-worth and make a stand.

7. Don’t be afraid to seek help

If your partner agrees to talk and work with you, then that’s good progress.

If both of you feel overwhelmed and find it hard to commit, then don’t be afraid to seek help. Please do.

Being guided by an expert can do wonders for your individual growth as well.

This can also help both of you address hidden issues. Together, it will be easier for you to work for a better relationship.

8. Understand what abuse is

Learning how to deal with someone who keeps putting you down also means that you have to learn how to grow and be firm.

It also means that you need to face the fact that your relationship might be an abusive one.

Many people are afraid to face the fact that they have an abusive partner until it’s too late.

Abusive relationships often start as treating someone badly and then escalate to mental and even physical abuse.

Often, your partner might also shift from being a toxic partner to being an apologetic and sweet person – know the signs of an abusive partner before it’s too late.

Don’t live in a cycle of abuse and manipulation.

9. Know when to walk away

An important part of knowing how to react when someone treats you badly is when to walk away.

It’s hard to let go of the person you love. You might even think it’s not too late to be a better person, but you should also know your limits.

It’s something you need to do for yourself.

Not all people can commit or change, and if you have done everything you can, it also means that it’s time for you to move on, and there’s no turning back.

Watch a powerful personal testimony from domestic abuse survivor Norah Casey on the complex and misunderstood reason why women stay in violent relationships:

10. Remember your worth

Finally, always remember your worth.

If you know your worth and if you respect yourself, then you will know what to do when someone treats you badly.

Remember to respect yourself, respect your kids, and respect your life to walk away from people who treat you badly.

You don’t have to stoop down to their level and be aggressive, and sometimes, the best action is to give up and move on.

You deserve better!

11. Set realistic expectations

When dealing with mistreatment in a relationship, it’s vital to set realistic expectations for the process of improvement and change.

Understand that behavioral changes, especially when someone has treated you poorly for an extended period, don’t happen overnight. Set clear boundaries, determine what changes you need to see, and communicate them to your partner.

How to respond when someone treats you badly: 7 helpful ways

Facing mistreatment in any relationship is challenging and emotionally draining. Here are 7 empathetic and practical ways to respond when someone treats you badly

1. Stay calm: In the heat of the moment, try to stay composed and avoid reacting impulsively. Take a deep breath and collect your thoughts.
2. Set boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries and what behavior you find unacceptable. This empowers you to protect yourself and express your needs.
3. Open communication: Engage in an honest, calm, and respectful conversation with the person treating you badly. Express your feelings and concerns, and listen to their perspective as well.
4. Seek support: Don’t hesitate to lean on your support network, such as friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your experiences can provide emotional relief and valuable insights.
5. Self-care: Prioritize self-care by focusing on activities that nurture your physical and emotional well-being. This can include exercise, meditation, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones.

6. Evaluate the relationship: Assess the nature of the relationship and whether the mistreatment is an isolated incident or part of a recurring pattern. Consider whether the relationship aligns with your values and well-being.
7. Consider professional help: If the mistreatment continues, consider seeking the assistance of a therapist or counselor. They can provide guidance on managing the situation and exploring potential solutions.

Commonly asked questions

Tolerating mistreatment can be emotionally and mentally daunting. Below, you’ll find responses to frequently asked questions on addressing, managing, and healing from such experiences.

• How can I confront someone treating me poorly?

Confronting mistreatment involves honest and assertive communication. Express your feelings calmly, set boundaries, and seek resolution. Avoid reacting in anger or hostility, which can escalate the situation.

• Is it ever okay to cut ties with someone treating me badly?

Absolutely. Your well-being should be a top priority. If someone’s mistreatment continues, and your efforts to address it prove futile, cutting ties might be necessary to protect yourself emotionally and mentally.

• Can therapy help me recover from mistreatment?

Yes, therapy can provide valuable support. A therapist can help you process the emotional impact, develop coping strategies, and work towards healing and personal growth.

• How can I rebuild my self-esteem after mistreatment?

Rebuilding self-esteem after mistreatment involves self-care, self-compassion, and surrounding yourself with supportive people. Focus on your strengths, engage in activities that boost your confidence, and consider therapy to address any emotional scars.

• Is self-forgiveness important in recovering from mistreatment?

Yes, self-forgiveness is a crucial part of healing. Understand that you’re not to blame for someone else’s mistreatment. Forgive yourself for any mistakes you feel you’ve made and recognize your resilience in coping with mistreatment. Self-compassion is key to moving forward.

Take charge of your well being

If you are someone who has experienced this and was able to overcome it, then you’re doing great.

You are learning that you should take control of your life.

Never allow anyone to treat you badly. It doesn’t matter if it’s your boss, a co-worker, a family member, or even your partner.

If someone you cherish mistreats you – then you need to take action.

Recognize what’s wrong and start setting boundaries. Offer to talk and resolve the issue and commit, but if everything else fails, then you need to walk away from this toxic relationship.

Now that you know what to do when someone treats you badly, you will become more confident about yourself and what you deserve.