Q: My family and I are invited to a Hanukkah dinner this year. We are not Jewish and are not sure of the etiquette. Help!
Q: My family and I are invited to a Hanukkah dinner this year. We are not Jewish and are not sure of the etiquette. Help!
A: These truths should be (although frequently are not) self-evident:
• Hanukkah is not the Jewish version of Christmas.
• Guests have a responsibility to prepare for parties as much as the hosts do.
While Hanukkah is a joyous, home-based, family holiday that has evolved to include gift-giving, it is a distinctly Jewish celebration.
“Since Hanukkah happens to fall around Christmas, the gift aspect gets blown all out of proportion and runs the risk of becoming altogether too materialistic,” warns Rabbi Janine Schloss, director of education at Temple Beth Am in Seattle.
During Hanukkah, which begins Dec. 25 this year, you can expect candles on the menorah. A candle is lighted in the evening through Hanukkah as a blessing is recited.
Traditional foods include potato latkes, applesauce and brisket. Spinning the dreidel (a four-sided top) for “Hanukkah gelt” (gold-wrapped chocolate coins) is another part of the celebration.
Your host might appreciate gifts of chocolate, gourmet applesauce, candles, books or board games.
Susan Landon, a Mercer Island resident who frequently hosts events, offers some don’ts for Hanukkah guests:
• Don’t ask the hosts or their children if they wish they could have a Hanukkah bush or stockings.
• Don’t blow out the candles.
• Don’t fuss about how latkes don’t fit into your diet.
Jerri Lane, director of marketing at The Westin Seattle and the mother of three, reminds us, “As an observant Jew, Christmas is a daunting challenge, as the whole world is lit up with Christmas carols, trees and lights.”
Surely it behooves any guest to honor the beliefs of her host by learning what it is they are celebrating. For more on the origins and meaning of Hanukkah, Rabbi Schloss recommends the Web site www.MyJewishLearning.com.
“Hanukkah is all about being proud to be different and to share your differences and allow others to share their differences with you,” Schloss said.
Finally, Lane advises, “Have fun, eat lots, sing loud and give thanks for all your many blessings.”
Mary Mitchell is a Seattle-based corporate trainer and author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Etiquette.” E-mail questions to Mary@themitchell.org. Sorry, no personal replies.
FAQs
Don't ask the hosts or their children if they wish they could have a Hanukkah bush or stockings. Don't blow out the candles. Don't fuss about how latkes don't fit into your diet.
What not to bring to a Hanukkah party? ›
Hanukkah doesn't have any dietary restrictions, but make sure not to bring food items that aren't kosher. Even if your hosts aren't observant, it's best to stick with kosher items out of politeness. You never know if the host might have invited observant guests!
What is the proper way to wish someone happy Hanukkah? ›
"You can wish someone a happy Hanukkah by saying chag sameach, which is pronounced [ khag sah-meh-ahkh ]," according to thesaurus.com. "This expression means 'happy holiday. ' If you want to make it a bit more Hanukkah-specific, you can say chag Hanukkah sameach, pronounced [ khag khah-nuh-kuh sah-meh-ahkh ], instead."
How do you respectfully celebrate Hanukkah? ›
Traditional Hanukkah celebrations include frying food in oil, playing dreidel, singing songs, and, of course, lighting the hanukkiah. The hanukkiah is a type of menorah with nine candle holders—one of which is the shamash.
What is an appropriate gift for Hanukkah? ›
There's no ceremony for giving gifts. Instead, appropriate Hanukkah gifts are usually small, thoughtful, and often food-related. Typical Hanukkah gifts, such as dreidels, board games, and fancy meats, are designed to show togetherness and bonding among Jews.
What is forbidden during Hanukkah? ›
It is customary for women not to work for at least the first half-hour of the candles' burning, and some have the custom not to work for the entire time of burning. It is also forbidden to fast or to eulogize during Hanukkah.
What to bring to Hanukkah as a guest? ›
Traditional foods include potato latkes, applesauce and brisket. Spinning the dreidel (a four-sided top) for “Hanukkah gelt” (gold-wrapped chocolate coins) is another part of the celebration. Your host might appreciate gifts of chocolate, gourmet applesauce, candles, books or board games.
Should you tell people Happy Hanukkah? ›
To greet your Jewish loved ones during these eight days, you can simply say “Happy Hanukkah” or use one of these options in Hebrew. Hanukkah — or Chanukah, both are common spellings — is taking place between Dec. 7 and Dec. 15.
What is the difference between Hanukkah and Chanukah? ›
For many English speakers, the festival is also known for confusion over the spelling of its name: Is it Hanukkah or Chanukah? The answer is that both are considered correct, though Hanukkah is the most widely used spelling, while Chanukah is more traditional. In addition, more than 20 other variations are recorded.
Can non-Jews practice Hanukkah? ›
You can, but what's the point? Chanukah celebrates the liberation of the Jewish people from foreign occupation, and the rededication of the Holy Temple. It's not really relevant to anyone else.
Blessed are you, Our God, Ruler of the Universe, for giving us life, for sustaining us, and for enabling us to reach this season. Al Ha'Nisim is a short prayer of thanksgiving that is meant to express God's role in the miracle of Hanukkah.
Which day of Hanukkah is most important? ›
All 8 days of Chanukah are equal of importance. That being said, Shabbos is always considered special, as well as Rosh Hadosh and every Chanukah, will have at least one day of Shabbat and one day of Rosh Hodosh.
What not to give for Hanukkah? ›
Things to Avoid Doing
In particular, do not use the classic Christmas wrapping papers or get green and red gifts. Hanukkah has its own unique color associations and blue and white items are preferred.
What do you wear to Hanukkah? ›
Go for classic blue, white, and gold when trying to style a Hanukkah dress. Not sure where to find a cute and stylish Hanukkah dress? Opt for a simple blue style like this gorgeous pleated midi dress from Prettygarden.
How to wish happy Hanukkah? ›
You can wish someone a happy Hanukkah by saying chag sameach, which is pronounced [ khag sah–meh-ahkh ]. This expression means “happy holiday.” If you want to make it a bit more Hanukkah-specific, you can say chag Hanukkah sameach, pronounced [ khag khah-nuh-kuh sah–meh-ahkh ], instead.
Can you bring alcohol to a Hanukkah party? ›
Wine. Bringing wine to a party is a great idea. Now, if you are attending a kosher Hanukkah party, make sure to bring a bottle of kosher wine (just in case). Hanukkah-Themed Flowers.
What is the dress code for Hanukkah party? ›
What to wear to any Hanukkah celebration. Go for classic blue, white, and gold when trying to style a Hanukkah dress. Not sure where to find a cute and stylish Hanukkah dress? Opt for a simple blue style like this gorgeous pleated midi dress from Prettygarden.
What are the rules for the Hanukkah candles? ›
Each night, add a new candle before lighting. Now, here's the tricky part: candles are placed in the menorah from right to left but candles are lit from left to right. "Left to right, that's how you light!"
What are Hanukkah norms? ›
Hanukkah is celebrated in several ways. In addition to lighting each day one candle on the menorah, religious rituals can include daily reading of Scripture, recitation of some of the Psalms, almsgiving, and singing of a special hymn.
