Your other half. The peanut butter to your jelly. Kindred spirits. Twin flames. And now, if you’ve been paying any attention to TikTok at least, soul ties. But what exactly is the meaning of soul tie, you may be wondering, especially if you’re in the midst of an intense relationship and the oxytocin is making it hard to think straight, or you don’t have a Gen Z cousin to ask. While soul ties is often thought of in terms of a sexual relationship, it doesn’t have to be. Read on for everything you’ve been wanting to know about soul ties, from what it means to where it originated from.
Defining soul ties: What does it mean?
In the most basic sense, a soul tie is a deep emotional connection between two people where they learn and grow from each other. Unlike soul mates, for example, where the implication is that two people find each other and pair for life, soul ties may be fleeting.
The idea with soul ties is the two people find each other and have a spiritual connection; as the name suggests, their souls are tied. This connection can be instantaneous — someone may feel immediately familiar — or it may develop overtime. The key to a soul tie is that some sort of growth occurs. Maybe you learn something about the world through the other person, or you learn something about yourself and the way you love another. A soul ties relationship can be intense and may not last more than a couple weeks or months, though it can be a permanent bond that continues to evolve over time.
Soul ties & Christianity
There is a spiritual component to the idea of soul ties, but the idea is not always tied to religion. Some Christians use the concept of soul ties to imply that sex should wait until marriage as all sexual relationships lead to deep intimacy and lasting connection, which is, of course, untrue and problematically heteronormative.
Not all Christians subscribe to the idea, however, as the Bible says there should only be a spiritual connection between humans and God. While the origin of the term “soul tie” is not totally clear, some say the idea is taken from the idea of two people becoming “one flesh” when they have sex, which is taken from Corinthians 6:12-20. Part of having a soul tie is feeling almost like you’ve merged with another, hence the one one flesh.
Signs you have a soul tie
The definition of a soul tie may vary depending on who you ask, but much like falling in love, you’ll know it when you feel it. Some signs you have a soul tie with another person may include the following:
- The person feels immediately familiar and comfortable, even if you’ve just met.
- You dream about the person regularly.
- They show up at a pivotal time in your life or on the crux of a big decision.
- You find yourself wanting to talk decisions big and small over with them.
- You feel almost telepathic with them.
- You feel yourself learning or growing through your time with them.
Are soul ties healthy?
The term soul ties is now broadly used outside of religious groups and can be important for those seeking a deep soul connection with another. Some find it helpful to have a word to describe the deep connection they feel with another, potentially even someone they haven’t known for a long time.
However soul ties are not always a good thing; in some cases, the feeling of deep connectedness may cause one or both partners to excuse toxic or narcissistic behavior. (You may have come across some TikTok users sharing about their experience of breaking a soul tie.) If you feel like you need the other person to complete you or you are compromising yourself for their own happiness, it may be a sign that your soul tie is veering into unhealthy territory.
When you know you have a soul tie, you may have found a friend or a romantic relationship that will last a lifetime. But don’t be upset if the relationship fizzles out, or your purposefully break your soul tie; not all intense relationships can last, and the ones that don’t will still teach you something about yourself.
