38 Small Ways To Be More Romantic In Your Relationships (2024)

You've probably heard a couple's story of how they met get described as being "so romantic," or the phrase might be used to describe a particularly dramatic or meaningful gesture from one person toward the object of their affection.

Some people might even describe themselves as a "hopeless romantic" in general. But what does that word really mean?

Here's what romance is really all about, plus how to be a more romantic partner in your relationship.

What does it mean to be romantic?

Being romantic is about expressing love and dedication in a way that's intentional, unmistakable, and deeply affectionate.

It often involves dramatic or passionate gestures, though smaller actions that indicate enduring affection can also be romantic.

The word romantic stems from the Latin word Romanus or Romanicus, which literally meant "Roman" or "from Rome."

Throughout the Middle Ages, the old French adopted the word romanz, meaning "of the Roman vernacular," to describe both a specific type of Latin speech as well as the literature written in that vernacular style—which generally featured tales of knights, chivalry, and passion.

Over time, the word "romance" began to become associated with dramatic love stories in general.

That's part of why romance today is often associated with over-the-top gestures between lovers.

"Being romantic involves creating a sense of passion, anticipation, and excitement within a relationship," clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., tells mbg.

"Romantic partners don't need to be a specific personality type; they can be introverts, ambiverts, or extroverts. A romantic partner, however, does need to be attentive, thoughtful, willing, creative, and considerate of [their] partner's secret (and not-so-secret) longings."

How to be romantic

Here are just a few ideas for how to be romantic, from big gestures to small habits you can sprinkle on your daily life together:

Qualities of a romantic person

First and foremost, a romantic person is willing to regularly show how much they love and adore the object of their affection. They might regularly offer small displays of affection, whether that's through acts of service, words of affirmation, or other sweet gestures.

"Whether you bring your partner a love-filled cup of coffee each morning, lather each other's backs in the shower, or enjoy holding hands as you walk, true romance is all about showing your love for each other in consistent, meaningful ways," Manly says. "Consistent displays of meaningful attention (whether it's kissing, small token gifts, touch, or whispering 'sweet nothings') can keep a romantic mood alive every day."

"The most romantic of partners are those who are mindful of their significant other's needs and desires in passionate, thoughtful ways," Manly says.

"The most important habit shift to make if trying to become more romantic is attentiveness. If you become tuned in to what your partner wants and needs, you can craft spontaneous surprises and long-term romantic patterns that will eternally thrill your partner."

Importantly, a romantic person doesn't just offer a bunch of gifts and sweet nothings with no real meaning behind them. A huge part of what makes someone or something romantic is the idea that the love and passion they offer is unwavering and enduring, and it's uniquely offered to a specific person.

That's what separates a romantic person from a flirt: the intensity, longevity, and specificity of their feelings.

That's why the most romantic speeches or love letters, for example, are often highly personalized: "For a longtime love, you want to talk about memories, overcoming obstacles together, what made you fall in love initially, why you still love them today, and what you see in the future," Lia Miller, M.A., MPA, MSW, a writer and clinically trained social worker, writes at mbg.

The original concept of romance came from stories of the chivalrous deeds of knights willing to lay down their lives for love. In modern times, dramatic gestures are still associated with the idea of romance: traveling long distances to surprise the person you love, proposing in front of a big crowd of people, or even simply talking about your future together early on in a relationship.

Romantic people might also specifically describe their love for someone in highly sentimental, cosmic, or larger-than-life terms, such as describing their lovers as "soul mates," talking about how fate brought them together, or declaring that their love will last them to the grave and beyond. They may have a tendency to idealize their partner or their relationship as well, which may not exactly be a healthy tendency, despite the romanticism of it.

On the flip side, not everyone will consider sweeping gestures and over-the-top declaration of love to be romantic. Sometimes being a romantic person is simply about being highly present, warm, and affectionate with your partner in the day-to-day moments.

"Meaningful gifts and memorable trips are touching, standout moments in a relationship," marriage therapist Linda Carroll, LMFT, writes at mbg. "However, it's the steady sprinkle of smaller moments of kindness and care that create a trusting and healthy relationship."

Being a romantic person means setting a tone of affectionate love and passion year-round, not just on special occasions like Valentine's Day or someone's birthday, Manly points out.

"A true romantic partner tends to 'date' [their] significant other throughout the relationship rather than devoting romantic energy to only one or two hallmark dates per month or year," she explains. "Being a true romantic is a way of life."

"Given that we all have different preferences and needs, what is romantic to one person may not be at all romantic to another," Manly reminds. "As such, the true romantic takes the time and energy to study the desires of another in order to create or heighten a loving, passionate mood."

The takeaway

"Given that we all have different preferences and needs, what is romantic to one person may not be at all romantic to another," Manly reminds.

"As such, the true romantic takes the time and energy to study the desires of another in order to create or heighten a loving, passionate mood."