When we think of February as “the month of love,” we often think about it as love towards others — especially a significant other. But love isn’t just for other people; it’s important to extend some love to yourself, as well. February 13th is self-love day, though you can and should make time for self-love every day.
For those who struggle with their mental health, however, self-love can be a challenge. It’s much easier to feel negatively towards ourselves and forget to be as kind as we are to others. So how can you practice self-love? Here are a few ideas:
#1 - Get To Know Yourself
Think about the beginning of a romantic relationship or a friendship. You don’t immediately start to love that person. You go out for coffee or dinner with them. You find ways to spend time with them, and you learn about each other. Similarly, you need to get to know yourself in order to love yourself.
This may seem obvious, since you’ve lived with yourself all this time. But it can be easy to lose yourself in other relationships or external pressures. Take a little bit of time each day to learn more about yourself. Keep a journal and track your emotions. Start a meditation practice. Set boundaries as you begin to understand your limits. The more you get to know yourself, the more you can be kind to yourself.
#2 - Make Yourself a Playlist
With apps like Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube, and iHeart, it’s easier than ever to curate music for certain moods. And while putting a playlist together of sad songs might help you to feel your negative emotions cathartically, it might also put you in the habit of dwelling on those negative emotions. Instead — or in addition, you could create a mood boosting playlist. Think of the songs that get you going, the ones that put a smile on your face and make you feel good about yourself. Make yourself a playlist for a good day and listen to it on the way to work or school.
#3 - Figure Out Your Values and Act On Them
Write down a list of the things you value the most. Is it your family? Creativity? Trying to make the world a better place? Whatever it is, look for opportunities to live out those values. If your family is what’s most important to you, schedule a family game night or consider all eating dinner together at least once a week. If activism is important to you, consider donating your time or money to organizations that are doing good work in causes that matter to you. Carve out time for the things that make you the most fulfilled, that make you feel you’re living the life you want to live.
#4 - Give Yourself a Safe, Peaceful Space
The pressures of the day can make you feel that you’re constantly being run down. It’s important to create a safe space for yourself where you can relax and focus on practicing self-care. That might be your bedroom. Fill it with things that are comforting and calming to you. It might be a winding down routine at the end of the day, such as taking a bath instead of a shower, meditating, or practicing a hobby. In that space, try not to think negatively or judgmentally about yourself. Just be in the moment and focus on self-care and self-love.
#5 - Start To Say “No” More Often
If you struggle with self-esteem, you probably also struggle with setting boundaries. For instance, if you’re convinced that you’re a “bad friend” you might think that you owe it to your friends to do whatever they ask, whether you’re comfortable with it or not. But that can quickly wear you out and make you feel even worse about yourself. And your friends also probably don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position.
Set your boundaries. Know when you need to leave and when you need to say no. And know that your limits may vary from day to day. You might be willing to hear your friend vent about their significant other on a day when you’re feeling better, but if you feel overwhelmed it may be too much for you. Your loved ones will understand, and will be grateful when you’re able to be there for them in the ways that you’re able.
#6 - Say Something Nice To Yourself
When you’re beginning your journey towards self-love, it may be hard to think of anything nice to say about yourself. You might have to start small. “My hair looks nice today” or “I’m proud of myself for getting out of bed and/or eating something” still count. Make a habit of looking in the mirror and telling yourself at least one nice thing each day. The more often you do it, the easier it will become.
#7 - Check In With Yourself
Remember how we said you should get to know yourself the way you would get to know a partner or a friend? Similarly, you probably don’t just go on one date with your partner or hang out with a friend one time and that’s it. You make other plans with them. You check in on them and ask them how they are. You need to do the same for yourself.
Especially when you’re going into a new situation, or a situation that makes you uncomfortable, take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Don’t look at it with any judgment or idea of how you should be feeling. Simply observe your feelings. What can you do to be more comfortable? These check-ins will help you to better understand yourself and your needs.
We hope this Self-Love Day and every day, you take steps to appreciate yourself. One way to do so is by reaching out for mental health support when you need it. Our team of skilled and compassionate clinicians are here for you. Contact Rivia Mind today to learn more or to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
