Stay With You - scentedflorals - 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys (2024)

Chapter 1: Same Pain

Chapter Text

Breaking News! Flight 52. En route to Incheon, Korea from Los Angeles, California has lost all contact. Coordinates of Flight 52 were last pinned at longitude xxx.xx and longitude xxx.xx. Rescue jets and ships are on scene now in search for remnants of a crashed plane. In this moment we would like to acknowledge those who were on board; here is a list of the passengers, workers and pilots on Flight 52.If you see a loved one, relative, friend, or associate on screen, please call toll # xxx.xxx.xxxx to access further information.

Ha Eunwoo was on that list.

Breaking News! Missing Flight 52 has been recovered in xxx. Causes of the crash are still unknown. There are several survivors retrieved from the crash, found in a nearby island. Rescuers are currently surveying the island for more.

Breaking News! Decades more missing. Rescuers assume they are lost at sea. Volunteers join to continue the search while survivors are jetted back to Korea for immediate medical attention. Here is a list of survivors. Please call toll # xxx.xxx.xxxx for more information of the survivor and which hospital they will be located at. Immediate family members only will be provided information.

Ha Eunwoo was not on that list.

The crash of Flight 52 will never be forgotten. We would like to take this time to honor the missing persons unable to be retrieved, found, or rescued from this tragic occurrence.

Ha Eunwoo was on that list.

It’s been six whole months, and Jungkook is still struggling to cope with the news. For the first month he’s been sick, mourning, and deteriorating in bed over the sudden news. They were supposed to get married, plan their wedding and be tied forever in life… He’d just proposed to him a couple months back…. It shouldn’t have been taken away from him.

The news had been right. Flight 52 will never be forgotten. And to Jungkook, who had just lost a lover, it never will. The number, the cursed death number of 52 will forever be etched into his brain, taunting him and killing him each time it rings in thought.

Eunwoo should have never gone to California for that solo trip. Jungkook should have stopped him. Or better yet, Jungkook should have gone there with him. They should have been on that plane together. They should have died together… or survive together. Jungkook knew that had he been there, he’d be sure to protect Eunwoo. Swim him out of the crashed confines of the airplane rubble, pull him to shore, and provide for him with whatever island resources there were and protect him.

But he hadn’t. He’d been at work. Working to ensure that he had the finances to supply Eunwoo with all his needs and ensure that he had the money to even allow his lover to fly without any concerns. He’d been safe at work… but he should have insisted more when Eunwoo told him not to call off. He should have convinced Eunwoo more to just stay.

Jungkook was responsible for his lover’s lost.

And he suffers from the consequence.

Since then he’s been living on autopilot, but he’s killing himself maintaining the facade of being okay. He barely ate and barely got out of bed. He still works flawlessly, shunning out his emotions to present himself normally to his clients and peers despite the many concerning questions asking if he were okay.

There’s no way that he f*cking was okay -there’s no f*cking possibility that he’ll ever feel okay, but he smiles on command, sheds a tear or two, and say that “he’ll be fine.” He tries to stay strong, because Eunwoo never liked appearing weak… never likes showing too much of themselves and be emotional, so Jungkook doesn’t. He’ll continue to be the version Eunwoo loved, because even if he’s not alive, Jungkook could respect and honor him by living as he was taught to.

After a couple of months, his what would be his in-laws stopped contacting him, but Jungkook never liked speaking with them anyway. Eunwoo weren’t on best terms with his family for many months prior to the incident, therefore, Jungkook, too had rarely any ties with them.

Instead, his hyungs would stop by and check up on him at every given chance. They each took turns to make sure he was eating properly, bathing, and exercising. Jungkook had been stubborn at first because he no longer needs to be babied. He’s an adult now and not a child. He’s not like that anymore.

However, he can’t fault his hyungs because he knows they do it out of love, but it still grates on his nerves, causing him to believe that this goes against all the independency and maturity Eunwoo has helped him achieve. So he quickly realizes that his hyungs will leave him alone once he convinces them enough that he is alright. So he eats what they cook for him, he exercises with them, and bathes more than once a day, like he usually does… but once he’s alone, he retires back into his bed and breaks down -exhausted. He doesn’t cry anymore, but he does feel numb.

And the cycle repeats.

It wasn’t until the fourth month, when Jungkook realizes that he needs to get a grip on reality. Eunwoo is not coming back and Jungkook can’t die in vain of his memory from living robotically. He’ll continue to survive; he’ll try to, at least. So he gets back on his feet and looks for another job because he’s f*cking worn out from the stares and whispers directed at him in the company where his late fiancé used to manage. It isn’t easy, considering he isn’t as motivated as he should be. However, he’s lucky to have Jin Hyung by his side and offer him a position in his company when word is spread that Jungkook is on the look out for new hires.

Jungkook is quick to notice that Jin’s company is unlike his last where they bleed him dry for every single effort. This time, under the care of his CEO friend, Jungkook is given an appropriate amount of work as a security team head, a pretty hefty pay, and a reasonable work schedule. It’s something he wished he asked his hyung for earlier on, but he’d been too stubborn to let go of his first job, thinking it’s his safety, thinking it’s where Eunwoo wanted him to be.

Unfortunately, that poor decision led to his lover’s probable death. So really… f*ck him.

But Jungkook shakes the thought away. He’s almost a shell, hollow, when he makes this life a mundane routine: get up, shower, eat a protein bar or drink a protein shake, go to work, go home, and sulk. This continues on for two more months until his hyungs brim with concern and finally enforce Jungkook to go out.

“We wanted you to mourn, that’s why we haven’t said a word about it…” Hobi starts, crowding over Jungkook with warm arms. “But I think it’s time, Jungkook… it’s time to start living again. We notice you faking it -you may think you have everyone fooled, but I know you. Stop hiding from us… stop bottling in your emotions; it’s not healthy.”

Jungkook pulls away from Hyung’s chest; he’s always been the one he’s been most affectionate with, and this contact is the most warmth he’s felt in a long time, but he doesn’t want to fall into the neediness he’s long grown from. “Hyung,” he sighs, pulling away completely, ignoring the way Hobi’s face fell from the detachment. “I’m fine,” Jungkook whispers. “I just miss him and getting things back to normal is tiring.”

“I know you’re trying, Jungkookie, but sometimes it’s better to just… I don’t know… better to just let go? Sometimes you just need to let it go and open up… You need to let us be there for you. It’s -it’s killing me seeing you like this. I don’t think I’ve seen your cry or get angry. You’re just, quiet and even more distant. And you’ve only been working and going home. You don’t do anything else, Kook; it’s like you’ve completely shunned yourself out.”

“It’s killing all of us,” Jin says from across the table, ushering a bento in Jungkook’s direction. He hasn’t touched his meal yet and the food is quickly losing its heat. “So why don’t we take baby steps, hmm? No rush, alright? You let us know if it’s too much and we’ll lighten the load. But why don’t you come out with us tonight? It’s a small little bar that does raffles. You love winning prizes don’t you? And you’ll get to see Yoongi hyung. Don’t you miss him?”

Jungkook nods his head, not completely present in the conversation, but not totally fazed out as well. He hates feeling vulnerable, being open, and reverting back to the same child he was years ago, always needing protection.

Jungkook isn’t like that anymore. He’s not.

But he doesn’t want his hyungs to feel like they’re not wanted in his life at all.

So he nods his head. “Yeah… yeah, we can go out,” Jungkook agrees.

“There you go,” Jin smiles, lightly patting his back. “Let’s get you dressed.”

The weekly nights at the bar easily becomes an additional routine for Jungkook. It’s helped him tremendously -the little distractions. He’s genuinely smiling again when he’s surrounded by his hyungs, getting a little tipsy and winning odd prizes during the raffles. Sometimes he goes home tired and sated, and doesn’t think about the crash, nor do they appear in his dreams. He’s still sad and broken, but Jungkook sleeps easier on those nights.

He isn’t ready to let go and move on, but Jungkook is ready to accept the reality.

Eunwoo is gone. Jungkook will love him -wholeheartedly in his heart. But he is gone and he won’t ever come back.

Jungkook can finally say it.

Although he doesn’t expect the number 52 to still have such a grave effect on him.

“Is it okay if I invite two other people?” Jin asks as he, Jungkook, Hobi, and Yoongi are crowded within his living room, getting ready to head out for their nightly hang out. “I really like this person and he’s bringing a friend with him. We both didn’t want our first hang out to just be us two and thought it’d be easier to have people around. So please, please, please?” Jin begs, curving his lips forward in a pout.

Jungkook doesn’t care so he shrugs his shoulders; he’s a little timid and introverted, so he’s never great at meeting new people -he kind of doesn’t want to meet anyone new, but it’s all for Jin’s sake. Plus, he really doesn’t want to be left alone at home right now. Yoongi and Hobi don’t mind as well. In fact they’re quite excited to meet the mystery man Jin hasn’t shut up about since a month ago.

“So tell us what to expect,” Hobi chines in. Jin laughs but squeals in excitement, gushing over this Namjoon guy as they drive to the little bar.

Jungkook isn’t sure what to expect when he faces the two new people sitting in their usual table. Jin sits himself next to who he assumes is Namjoon. He’s tall and handsome, with a clear, tannish complexion, kind eyes, and a dimpled smile. Next to him, sat someone significantly smaller, but larger in energy. He has blonde hair over his light and fair complexion. He has intimidating, but soft brown eyes, above a cute nose, and pillowy lips. When he smiles to greet them, his eyes disappear into crescents, and Jungkook swears the room lights up a bit.

It’s the first he’s ever thought of someone as beautiful since Eunwoo and it bothers him tremendously. So much so, he can’t make eye contact with him as he sits across from him in the booth with Yoongi and Hobi sliding over afterwards.

“Hi everyone, I’m Kim Namjoon.” Namjoon grins wider, deepening the dimple on his cheek. Hobi cooes and Jin melts by his side. Jungkook, however is anxious doing anything and everything to keep himself calm and focused, not wanting to accidentally spare the other man a passing glance afraid his thoughts are going to conjure up any other needless sentiments.

“And this is my best friend, Park Jimin.”

“Hello,” he speaks. And f*ck, Jungkook can’t help but notice just how pretty his voice is, too. There is just a little bit of breathiness, but full and vibrant.

“Hi Jimin, I’m Jin!” Jimin giggles as he reaches over to shake Jin’s hand.

He giggles and it reminds Jungkook of Eunwoo and he feels bile rev up his throat dangerously. It’s not nearly the same pitch and sound, but it brings the same amount of feeling when his late fiancé laughs. Because his late fiancé rarely laughs, so when he does, Jungkook feels warmth spread throughout his chest.

Jungkook barely knows the man sitting across from him and he swears he feels the same bit of warmth… and he’s freaking the f*ck out from it.

“I know,” Jimin says as he releases his hold on Jin. “Namjoonie hyung can’t shut up about you. I’ve been so excited to meet you!”

“Awww,” Jin gushes with a wheezing laugh. “I am amazing; I wouldn’t shut up about me, either.”

Namjoon rolls his eyes, but by the way he’s smiling and lightly caressing Jin’s hand upon the table, it’s quite evident that the dimpled man thinks Jin’s conceit is endearing. Hobi and Yoongi on the other hand scoff at the gesture, rolling their eyes with an exasperated tone.

“It’s nice to meet you guys,” Yoongi pitches in. “I’m Yoongi. I kind of own this bar and produce music on the side.”

“That’s so cool!” Jimin gushes out. “Do you think I could listen to some of your work? I love music!”

Yoongi softly blushes at the interest, but nods his head, which further elates Jimin. They maintain eye contact, and although Jimin holds nothing but happiness and joy when Jungkook finally relents and takes a peak at him, he sees that Yoongi is getting flustered over it. Jungkook wonders why that was -it’s surely not the first time someone has asked him for a peek in his musical life.

“And I’m Hoseok, but you can just call me Hobi. I own a dance studio.”

This little information has Jimin jumping up and down in his seat, and his smile enlarges more than it already has. Jungkook’s concerned that any more and his lips will tear themselves from his cheeks.

“Jin Hyung! Your friends are so cool!” Jimin squeals, heightening the mood to exponential heights. Yoongi and Hoseok is beaming at the praise, and Jungkook awkwardly shifts in his seat. “I love to dance! Hobi hyung could I visit someday?”

Hobi’s eyes light at the suggestion, and he instantly snatches at it. “You dance, Jimin-ah?”

“Extremely well,” Namjoon answers for Jimin in his stead; he’s smiling and puffing his chest out as if he were a proud father, showcasing his son to eager scouts at a school talent show. “He sings beautifully, too. He’s too talented and it pisses me off.”

Jimin is laughing with his entire body now, flinging himself over toward Namjoon with open arms, fingers also reaching over to drag Jin in a tight embrace as he giggles. He’s cute, Jungkook thinks briefly before biting his lips and playing with his thumbs under the table. He’s annoying, Jungkook corrects quickly, regulating his thoughts so that he portrays Jimin as someone who can’t respect personal space. He’d just met them, and he’s currently having his hyung in a vice grip, and impeded on Hobi and Yoongi’s life by inviting himself into their space… all within two minutes of introduction.

He releases himself from Namjoon to slightly punch his shoulder. “You’re one to talk!” He points to Namjoon with his thumb and looks to Yoongi with a pout.

Childish. Jungkook thinks.

“Did you know he wrote a song in thirty minutes just from getting inspiration from a fallen leaf? I sang the lyrics for him and I swear I cried. It’s so beautiful and it sounds so good!”

“Stop it,” Namjoon blushes.

“He can work on his singing,” Jin chimes in proudly, gladly adding to Jimin’s praises and compliments. “But he’s a rap king! Just like you, Yoongi. Maybe you guys can work something out?”

The suggestion has Yoongi nodding his head in consideration. There’s a glint in his eyes and a slight smirk on his face when he surprisingly jabs Jungkook at his side with his elbow, taking Jungkook off guard and yelping a little from the sudden pain. A curse is at the tip of Jungkook’s tongue, but he’s stopped shortly with the invitation of something worse than a preemptive assault.

“Jungkook here can rap and sing, too. Do you wanna jump on this little impromptu project?”

Jungkook frowns at the inclusion. He’s not sure why Yoongi has the audacity to even ask him that considering he knows exactly why he’s given up both singing and rapping. He knows the pain it’s caused Eunwoo when they were together and Jungkook has vowed he wouldn’t pursue it. So Jungkook is a little annoyed, frowning deeply as he rolls his eyes and huffs. The mood shifts a little negatively due to his reaction, and Namjoon is quick to assess it quickly, turning to Jin to change the subject. Jungkook is a little thankful, but Jimin isn’t as perceptive.

Jimin curls his eyebrows in curiosity and leans over to Jungkook from across the table. The younger doesn’t move, but not because he’s confident, but merely because he’s unsure of whether or not he should move; circuits in his nerves are going haywire at the sudden proximity decrease.

“You can sing and rap?” Jimin probes.

Jungkook’s put on the spot and he hates it. It makes finding Jimin annoying a little easier; Jungkook can’t function under pressure properly, hates being under everyone’s attention, and especially under attention for something he clearly doesn’t want to talk about. That’s why he and Eunwoo worked out so well; Eunwoo loved the attention and loved making sure that the spotlight stays away from Jungkook.

“I bet you can dance, too,” Jimin smiles.

He’s right about that, and the rest excluding Namjoon can vouch for him, but Jungkook remains quiet, not wanting to indulge Jimin with any information. When the silence grows thicker, Jimin’s concern increases, and Jungkook is quick to deduce that he’s the bratty personality. Because instead of dropping the subject, Jimin pushes for it.

“Jungkook, was it?” Jimin wonders aloud, briefing over the table for confirmation, and when he gets it from Hobi whom nods his head, the blonde tiny man redirects his attention back to Jungkook. “Jungkook, do you not do all those things? Are they just teasing you? It’s not hard to sing or rap; I’m sure you’ll be great at it if you want. Joonie hyung taught me how to rap… I mean I still kind of suck, but something tells me that you’re a quick learner-”

“Just drop it, will you?” Jungkook nearly belts out, though hushed compared to the booming music within the bar.

Finally Jimin retires from his persistence and sinks back into his seat with a small, apologetic smile that almost makes Jungkook feel bad. But he doesn’t -toward him, at least. He does feel bad for ruining the atmosphere that Jimin, himself, lifted.

He hears Jin sigh from across the table, and that makes Jungkook feel a little more regretful over losing his composure, but he feels Yoongi squeeze his thigh in comfort under the table, letting him know that ‘it’s okay,’

“I’m sorry,” he hears Jimin softly say.

Jungkook breathes through his nose and calms himself down. Eunwoo isn’t so high energy as Jimin… he’s calm and collected. Eunwoo is real mature; it’s what Jungkook likes, and it’s how Jungkook should act in return. So already, Jimin is tiring Jungkook out.

“No, I was out of line; I’m sorry,” Jungkook sighs. Calm and collected. Just like Eunwoo. Just like how Eunwoo always wanted Jungkook to be like. “I just… it’s not something I like talking about,” he tries to explain, wanting to diffuse the tense mood.

Jimin smiles genuinely, sincerity in his eyes. He shakes his head in response and extends his hand out confidently, Jungkook closes the gap and extends his arm out as well to close his hand around Jimin’s obviously smaller one. Jungkook stares at the contact, not registering that Jimin has once again apologized for the situation. He doesn’t stop looking at Jimin’s hand and how small he feels in Jungkook’s hold, or how tiny his pink links around his. He’s still staring until the other starts releasing himself away from Jungkook and start tucking himself closer to Namjoon’s side afterwards.

“It’s a touchy subject,” Jin concludes, smiling sadly at Jungkook’s direction. “How about we order some food and drinks so we can get the raffle tickets for tonight.”

The night continues onwards with relative ease; Jungkook is starting to loosen up under the alcoholic influences. He’s noticing a slight change once his mind starts to involuntarily compare Jimin to his Eunwoo once more.

Whereas Jimin is a ray of complete spitfire energy, Eunwoo is calm.

Whereas Jimin easily converses with Yoongi, Hobi, and Jin like a social butterfly, Eunwoo keeps to himself and only talks unless spoken to, or unless in the vicinity of higher ups.

Whereas Jimin beams at every little dumb joke and flies himself into anyone near, Eunwoo is more composed.

They are complete opposites, and although it shouldn’t bother Jungkook, it does. Because he’s everything Eunwoo is not and it somehow, with no logical explanation and correlation, makes Jungkook feel like sh*t. Because the contrast makes Jungkook miss how things were… makes him miss the stability and familiarity Eunwoo brings. Because everything has been falling apart and the sudden appearance of Jimin is shaking the remaining rubble in Jungkook’s life.

But even if Jungkook tries to keep out of Jimin’s pull, just as how Eunwoo taught him to do whenever someone that’s not his usual hyungs try to talk to him, the other consistently drags him into any and every conversation going on. No matter what, whether Jungkook is quietly eating his food, drinking his drink, or talking separately with Yoongi by his side, he’s always hearing:

“Jungkook, what do you think of this?”

“Oh! I want to hear Jungkook’s opinions.”

“Ah, ah, that’s not fair. Right, Jungkook?”

He’s not too sure why Jimin is so interested with involving him with everything, but in honor of Eunwoo’s strategies, he’s only given Jimin unsatisfactory one worded replies.

“Fine.”

“Meh.”

“Right.”

But even so, Jimin smiles as if the reply is his own personal win, as if a single reply deemed worthy of his involvement. It confuses and irritates Jungkook, because now he thinks Jimin is just desperate. And Eunwoo isn’t desperate at all -he’s always had a vice on his emotions, never desperate, which has been deemed as pathetic.

So he thinks Jimin is quite pathetic settling over Jungkook’s bland responses, but he says nothing about it.

“Raffle time!” Someone with a mic shouts over at the stage in the furthest wall of the bar.

“Finally,” Jin sighs and scrambles through his bag in search of the slip he’s been given for the meal he’s bought. The rest does the same, pulling out the paper and placing them in front of them on the table as they wait eagerly for the announcer’s call, the screen now showcasing a red lines currently set to ‘0’.

Jungkook has ’25.’

And just as he settles over his raffle, the announcer belts out his number.

Jungkook smirks smugly; it’s his third win since they’ve started this weekly ritual. He’s just about to get up, when Jimin beams, showing Namjoon his paper and gyrating in annoying joy.

“I won it!” Jimin celebrates.

It’s more than his competitiveness that forces Jungkook to scowl and shut Jimin down immediately, it’s also the fact that he’s been on edge regarding the other person since he’s heard his giggle. It’s more than just how excited he gets over something as trivial as winning a raffle draw… it’s at the fact he’s absolutely radiant winning under false pretense.

Because he didn’t win.

Jungkook did.

“No, you did not,” Jungkook informs bitterly, shoving his paper in front of Jimin to see. Jimin tilts his head to assess the little slip, as if to make sure Jungkook hasn’t been the one to be mistaken. The little action only irritates him more, because Jungkook is not one to make simple mistakes like this.

“That’s 52, Jungkook,” he whispers, voice too small for it to be Jimin’s.

52.

Jungkook’s heart clench at the memories flooding his mind, but he swallows the pain and insists that Jimin show his raffle. Because more than the pain, he’s a little more peeved at Jimin and proving he’s right.

Sure, enough, he’s certain it isn’t he that read their number wrong, it’s Jimin. Although the mistake is sensible, considering the font of the number has been made in a digital aesthetic , which allows the number ’52’ and ’25’ to be read upright or upside down. However, there is a line indicating the orientation of the slip to be read in, as resembled similarly to a deck of cards when indicating ‘6’ or ‘9’.

So it isn’t Jungkook that has ’52,’ it’s Jimin.

“You have 52.”

Jimin pouts and crumples the paper. “That can’t be… I can’t have 52. It’s 25. It has to be 25!”

“It isn’t.”

“I don’t have 52,” Jimin bites back. It was a little off putting, because he didn’t expect that this would be the pushing point for Jimin to have his positive persona melt away.

“It’s 52!”

“I don’t want it!”

Jungkook’s rage is rising… the repeating of the number adding too much hysteria in his already chaotic heart. He doesn’t want to hear it anymore -he doesn’t want to remember how he felt when the news first appeared.

Flight 52 is lost.

Flight 52 remnant found.

Flight 52 survivors.

Flight 52 victims.

“Can you just f*cking accept it?” Jungkook nearly shouts, surprising everyone on the table and catching the attention of a few others in the area. He can feel Yoongi try to reach out for him and tug him down, but while others are a little panicked, Jimin holds his ground, clenching the raffle tightly in his hand. “Because there’s no way in hell I have 52. If you’d just f*cking relax and calm your ass down for a bit you’d see that you have that f*cking cursed number and not me!”

It breaks Jimin down. He doesn’t look angry or embarrassed, but sorry. He casts his eyes down and softly unraveled the crumpled paper in his hand and assesses it silently once more. He smooths over the sheet with his thumb, and Jungkook sees the way Jimin nibbles on his lower lip.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers and it doesn’t go unnoticed the way his breath hitches and his voice crack. “You’re right. It is… my mistake; I’m sorry.” He lifts his head up then, eyes a little misty and glazed over; Jimin looks hurt, but he smiles all the same, bright and genuine. “Congratulations, Jungkook. Get your prize.” He shuffles over awkwardly, looking over to Namjoon and Jin apologetically. “Is… is it okay if I get a breather? Need some fresh air.”

Namjoon is quick to nod his head and stand on his feet and Jin ushers to slide out of the booth quickly. Jungkook isn’t sure what’s going on when Namjoon follows after Jimin for a bit, patting his back and ruffling his hair, as if comforting him. Jungkook think it’s a little too dramatic for the situation, which makes him feel even more animosity over Jimin.

Jin glares at him from across the table. “Why aren’t you getting your prize?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, knowing damn well that he’s ruined the mood, but he could careless.

“I don’t feel like it anymore,” he explains, tossing the raffle toward the middle of the table. Hobi reaches for it from the corner and frantically gets up.

“I-I’ll get it for you.” And Hobi is off, retrieving a prize just to air out the tension.

Yoongi sighs next to Jungkook, which unsettles him just a little bit. Jungkook has always looked up to Yoongi; he really admires his opinions and the other’s view of him, so it always hurts when Yoongi isn’t too happy in regards to his actions or thoughts. Though Jungkook can feel the sympathy from the older man, he could also sense the disappointment airing out like a vent.

“Look, I’m sorry…” Jungkook exhales. “I just… that f*cking number…”

“I get that. But Jungkook, it’s not only that,” Yoongi starts. “You haven’t been kind to him from the start. So what the f*ck is up?”

He slumps in his seat, because he, too, doesn’t know the answer to it. He’s just annoying. Jimin is loud and too bright, he’s too outgoing, too social, and too happy. Jungkook isn’t used to that kind of energy. Maybe it’s because he’s been mourning, relished the confines of silence in the midst of his isolation. Jungkook doesn’t know why he dislikes Jimin -it’s unreasonable because he’s just met him. But he just does and he knows it isn’t fair.

“I don’t know,” he sulks honestly.

He thinks to how Jimin’s laugh stirred something within him… and then thinks to how unlike he and Eunwoo are.

“I just… he’s the complete opposite of him…”

“That doesn’t excuse your behavior, Kook,” Yoongi scolds softly. “They’re completely different people. There’s no reason for you to compare them. There’s no resemblance of Eunwoo in Jimin… so why are you bringing him up?”

Jungkook frowns and plays with his thumbs once again, a tick he can’t get rid of whenever he’s nervous or put on the spot. Eunwoo always scolds him for it, but he isn’t here anymore to call him out on it; he isn’t here to help Jungkook stop. “I can’t stop thinking of him…”

“You haven’t brought him up once when we started coming here… why so suddenly? Why with Jimin?”

There’s no logical answer to it. Only emotions felt toward it that Jungkook can’t explain. So he shrugs his shoulders and sinks further into his booth. “I don’t know, hyung…”

“Well you have to stop it, Jungkook. Jimin isn’t Eunwoo. Far from being even remotely close to him, actually…” Jin chastises gently, but sternly. Then he reaches over to squeeze his bicep, urging Jungkook to look up. He does, and Jungkook sees that Jin is smiling gently toward him.

“I understand, Jungkook. No one should experience losing a loved one so soon… but if you take the time to get to know Jimin… and Namjoon… you’d see that you’re not the only one suffering.”

He’s tired of hearing saying they understand… because they don’t. They don’t know what Jungkook’s going through at all. And sure he hasn’t made great efforts helping them understand, but even then it wouldn’t do anything to help them realize just how f*cking destructive it is to lose someone like that.

But Jungkook knows he’s being an ass. He’s not usually a jerk; he’s just distant. He’s just just about to ask Jin what he means by not being the only one suffering, but both Namjoon and Hobi returns to the booth simultaneously, cutting his thought process off. Hobi has an expensive thermal cup in hand; it was about 32 oz, transparent with galaxy coating, and it looks pretty cool. However, Jungkook’s lost motivation in keeping the item he’s won and dismisses the object with a wave of his hand when Hobi makes an effort to present it to him.

Shame fills Jungkook when Jin stands to let Namjoon slide back into his seat -Jimin no longer with him. It’s the most he felt in a long that wasn’t self-pity and depression. They make eye contact, and although Jungkook wants to look away, he doesn’t. He bows his head lowly, and apologizes, but Namjoon merely smiles and waves him off just as he did with Hobi earlier.

“I didn’t mean to explode like that.”

“I understand why you did, though,” he answers sincerely. Namjoon glances over to Jin, a silent conversation were exchanged between the two before the eldest nods his head. Tension is reintroduced to the booth when Namjoon releases a sigh and focuses all his attention back onto Jungkook; it makes the youngest squirm in his seat.

“Look, Jungkook, I know.”

“W-what do you mean?” Jungkook stutters out, not exactly liking the switch in atmosphere, and how the temperature drops. Everything is suddenly feeling too ominous and Jungkook isn’t sure how to react to it.

“I mean… I get what 52 means to you. Jin told me briefly about someone in his circle that may experience the same pain we do… but he’s never mentioned your name. After what just happened, though, I can kind of make a guess.”

Jungkook looks to Jin for answers, but Jin isn’t looking at him anymore -he’s looking at Namjoon, sadness reflected in his eyes.

“Jimin… he, uh- he lost someone, too. That flight -his best friend was on it.”

Jungkook sucks in a breath. It can’t be. He’s never met someone else who’s lost someone on that flight and it made him feel so alone. It made him feel so alone as he suffers the lost by himself, but held up a brave front because he didn’t want anyone else to notice just how lost he was -how lost he still is. No one really understands his pain -no one knew how to help him cope. And the idea that Jimin may very well be experiencing the same as he is feeling sickens him, because there’s no f*cking way he just snapped at someone dealing with the same issues.

Suddenly, Jungkook’s stomach sinks to the ground and his heart feels hardens into lead. He’s choking on air waiting for Namjoon to continue.

“He never made the list of survivors, Jungkook. We like to think he’s still out there, but it’s been months now and… and even if I’m in a better place accepting it, Jimin is far from it. He just hides it better, but it doesn’t mean he isn’t hurting… it doesn’t mean that when the doors are closed, and he’s all alone, Jimin isn’t killing himself thinking about him. I’ve only known Taehyung for a couple of months, but I’ve known Jimin longer and it’s breaking me seeing him fake things out. I don’t know how to help him -he won’t let me. He just wants to smile and be strong… but I just need him to let go, let him feel.”

Jungkook remembers himself in bed all alone, crying his soul out, and bleeding his heart dry when the news first broke out in the news. He couldn’t find it in him to call for help, to reach out to his hyungs… and after awhile he just tried to numb it out and be normal. He knows the feeling Namjoon is describing very well. He knows it so damn well and it isn’t sitting right with him that Jimin left to himself, possibly thinking of this person alone because Jungkook drove him away. Because he pushed him too far.

He’s never felt so sh*tty in his entire life.

“They were inseparable, those two. Like soulmates. They’ve known each other longest, probably all their lives.”

Namjoon is tearing up at this point, and Jin has him cradled in his arms. He’s not sure when, but Yoongi and Hobi are leaning in to Jungkook in the same manner. Jungkook doesn’t realize until after his version starts to blur, that he, too, is crying.

“I get it, Jungkook. I do. It f*cking hurts. But please… please don’t take it out on Jimin. If anything, he’s someone that understands you most. He’s the purest soul; Jimin always tries to put a brave front and stay positive because that’s how he is. He’s been like that even before we lost Tae. But Jimin’s the most sensible and most sensitive person I’ve ever met and I know that he’s not okay.”

Silence befalls them for a few moments. The music from the bar starts to dull out and fade into a faint buzz in Jungkook’s ears, but all he can hear is the sound of the news cast, the sound of his cries at night, the sound of Eunwoo calling out for him in his dreams… and now the sound of Jimin pleading that he doesn’t want his raffle number.

“Where is he?” Jungkook asks quietly.

“Jungkook, I don’t think-” Jin starts, but Namjoon places a firm hand on his thigh to stop him.

“He’s just outside on one of the benches,” Namjoon answers him.

Jungkook springs to his feet immediately, Yoongi and Hobi already shimmies their way out to allow for Jungkook to exit the bar without any verbal request to do so.

“You think they’ll be okay?” Jin wonders aloud as he watches the entrance of the door swing shut. “Jungkook has always been a little irrational with his emotions. Eunwoo was the one that constantly kept him in check.”

“He was irrational with his feelings; now he’s just a stone. I’d say it’s about time that Kook start expressing himself,” Yoongi mutters with a roll of his eyes.

“Yoongi,” Jin scolds.

“What? I kind of miss our old Jungkook. I’m not saying I didn’t like Eunwoo… but he’s changed a lot since they got together.”

“I mean he got more mature,” Hobi tries to defend.

“You can mature without losing yourself,” Yoongi argues back. “Let him be. I think it’ll be good for them. I’m sorry for your loss, Namjoon-ah. Truly. And I’m sorry for Kook’s behavior.”

Namjoon smiles and shakes his head. “No, no it’s fine. I totally get it. Maybe Jungkook is what Jimin needs -a little confrontation. I… I care too much about Jimin’s feelings, and I just break whenever he cries, so maybe… maybe Jungkook can help him more than I can.”

“I guess we’ll just see what happens,” Hobi muses over.

When Jungkook makes it outside, he’s instantly hit with the harsh winds and he regrets not making sure to grab his coat before rushing out. But he sees Jimin, clad in only his oversized wool sweater, and realizes he isn’t faring any better in attire and yet he’s been out for much longer. It’s winter, but Jimin makes no move to seek warmth, too enraptured with his thoughts that Jungkook can probably relate to.

Where are you?

Are you safe?

Will you come back?

Will you not?

They are all questions that Jungkook thinks about occasionally. Some questions harder to ask, and some answers too vague to grasp. No one will answer them. No one can. It’s been months, but Jungkook holds on, despite knowing he needs to let go.

He sees the same issues in Jimin as he’s slumped over, embracing the cold because the warmth has already left his system… because inside, he’s nothing but cold.

As if magnetized to him, Jungkook makes his way to Jimin’s back. He’s not sure what compels him to do so, but he plops at the seat across from him, ignoring the wind, and ignoring the cold.

Someone like him.

Jimin is like him.

And Jungkook shouldn’t have treated him so poorly just because he’s unlike Eunwoo in every regard. Jungkook shouldn’t have snapped. Jungkook shouldn’t have been so rude. Jimin’s lost someone just like him, and unlike himself, who had grown so distant and bitter, Jimin allows himself to be happy -to be a light.

Despite the pain and loss, Jimin appears to be unaffected, and it’s something that he, too can relate to. It’s ironic how Jungkook didn’t see it, despite living in an identical setting. They were both coping in extremely healthy methods, at opposite spectrums, but in the same manner.

Jungkook lives like a robot, functioning as he needs to just to get by. Jimin lives like the epitome of a bright sunshine, imposing radiant energy despite dying inside.

Maybe Jungkook can help them both reach a middle point. Lord knows they need to.

Leave him alone; people need to grow by themselves. That’s what Eunwoo would have advised, and usually he’d listen because he often knows better. But right now, Jungkook wants to do what he feels is right. And with Jimin looking void and as lost as he feels, he knows that what’s right is to open up.

Something in Jungkook wants Jimin to feel lonely. He could very well be projecting his own desires, but it helps him cope knowing that he could do the same for another.

“Eunwoo is my boyfriend,” Jungkook begins, a little shocked at his own bluntness. He’d only wanted to apologize, ask him how he is and offer for a truce. However, when Jimin looks up to him with the saddest eyes he’s ever seen on anyone, ever, Jungkook can’t control himself. He’s never seen someone as broken as Jimin looked, eyes dim of light that is eerily off from how he’d been just a moment ago in the bar. Jungkook’s sure that’s how he’d look if he weren’t an expert at hiding them and act as if nothing in the world fazes him. It’s baffling and unsettling and Jungkook can’t help but feel like he needs to bring him back. It’s like Jungkook needs to keep talking to distract Jimin in order to get his mind off of whatever it is that’s pulling him deeper and deeper into his dark thoughts. Because he knows how to fake his emotions and Jungkook sees himself in Jimin’s shadows, and understands what it feels like to drown in your own mind -in your own self deprecating thoughts. And it’s the worse thing ever.

“We were engaged. I proposed to him a couple of months ago… we were planning our wedding. He’s been my longest relationship, ever, and I just lost him. Like that. In a snap,” Jungkook rambles, each word feeling like f*cking stab wounds directly at his heart. But he continues, because in a way it feels good to just let it out, to share his story to someone who gets it -to someone who doesn’t know him or Eunwoo.

“He wanted to go on a trip -a solo trip; he’s always loved traveling… me not so much. But I wanted to give him that. I was never a controlling person, but maybe… maybe just for that one time I should have been.” Jungkook’s voice is starting to shake and tremble, and his eyes are once again misting up, blurring the concern look on Jimin’s face.

At least he no longer looks tormented, Jungkook thinks.

“I should have just asked him to stay -or I should have just gone with him instead of working. I always wanted to give Eunwoo everything… because he’s helped me so much. When I was younger, I was a rebel… I never took anything seriously, but he came into my life, a couple of years older than me, and just snapped me out of it. I owe him a lot, you know? He made me realize that I wasn’t going anywhere in life with the way I was… and helped me get better. Now I don’t have him anymore and I feel so f*cking lost and alone.”

Jungkook clenches his hands into his fists and shoves them deep into his pockets. It doesn’t do much to ease the cold, but it helps release the frustration. He lets the tears brimming in the corner of his eyes to finally fall, and it surprises him, because he rarely allows himself cry, or show any semblance of emotion in front of strangers or anyone at all. He’s only ever felt comfortable in front of his hyungs… but even then, sometimes he finds it difficult to be vulnerable.

But right now, with this stranger in front of him that very well understands whatever it is Jungkook is going through, feels familiar and warm. And Jungkook releases just a little. He releases all the pent up anguish, confusion, rage, and distress. He lets it all go so that someone with the same baggage can help carry them. He’s not breaking down -not hyperventilating and struggling for breath as he had a couple weeks ago when he’s confined in the safety of his own isolated room, but it’s the most emotions he’s shown anyone in a long time.

“My hyungs are there for me, I know that. They’ve always had my back, but not like how Eunwoo was. I know they’ve never really liked him, but, but they didn’t know him like I did. They have no idea how much he’s impacted my life. If he were here… I wouldn’t ramble like this, believe me,” Jungkook chuckles darkly. “But now that he isn’t… I can’t -it’s like I can’t function. I’m getting better… it’s getting easier to sleep at night; it’s getting easier to just live my life… but sometimes I feel like things are going to fall apart even more with every breath I take.”

Just once. Once in the six months of Eunwoo being taken from him will Jungkook allow himself to genuinely shed a tear or two in front of someone. Just once. Only to Jimin.

Jungkook is swallowing down his pain, and wipes his face clear from any fallen tear. He feels lighter, like a load has been lifted from his heart at the outburst. It feels good to just… vent, without interruption, without judgement, without wondering if the other person feels burdened by him.

It feels nice to just let go and be heard.

And Jimin hears him. Jimin, who has no idea who Jungkook is, has never had any pre existing judgment over him, is listening to Jungkook simply as the man who is broken after losing the love of his life, his fiancé.

“And it isn’t really getting better, is it?” Jungkook hears Jimin say amidst his wails. It’s the first time anyone has every said anything other than “I’m so sorry,” or “I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through,” or “I understand.” What Jimin says radiates deep into what Jungkook is feeling. What Jimin says is the harsh truth. Jungkook shakes his head.

“It isn’t,” Jungkook breathes out harshly.

“It’s been six months and it still feels like yesterday since you’ve last seen them. It still feels like yesterday when your heart has been torn apart,” Jimin continues, and Jungkook hears it then, the crack and slight infliction in his tone. He can hardly see, but Jungkook is able to make out the flush in Jimin’s cheeks, the swell in his eyes as he starts to cry. It’s a complete contrast to the glow Jimin showcased with his smile and glittering radiance.

The sight in front of Jungkook is f*cking heartbreaking, but comforting all the same to know that he isn’t the only one in pain and he isn’t the only one mourning.

“His name is Kim Taehyung. He’s more than my best friend… he’s my soulmate and I love him so much. So, so much. I’ve known him longer than I can remember… we’re always together, you know? We were never seen apart. And the one time I’m not with him…” Jimin sucks in a harsh breath, and Jungkook can tell he’s just about ready to explode.

“The one time I’m not, I lose him,” he wails out, clutching onto his chest where his heart hides beneath. “He had to visit his grandma in the states, and I usually accompany him, but this year I couldn’t. I couldn’t get off work. I couldn’t… and I just think that maybe if I were there with him, he wouldn’t at least suffered alone… we’d at least have each other… that it’d be less lonely,” Jimin cries aloud.

“And no matter what anyone says… no matter how much time will pass… I know I will still feel f*cking guilty. I know I will never heal from losing him. Nothing will ever be the same… I know that in my heart.”

Jungkook agrees. It’s almost morbid to find comfort in such discouraging words, but it rings true for him and that in itself makes him feel better.

“So I’m sorry,” Jimin apologizes quietly, pulling Jungkook in. He’s a little confused because there’s nothing to say sorry for and Jungkook isn’t quite liking that he feels inclined to do so. “I’m sorry if I insisted back there… I hate the number 52, too. I just didn’t think you had the same reason to hate it as much as I do.”

Jungkook will always feel guilty, but this is one guilt he will rectify.

“I’m sh*tty with my feelings, Jimin; I suck at expressing them and am completely better at just keeping it in. I was at fault… there’s nothing for you to apologize for.”

Jimin pulls back, frost bite and pale thick lips curve up into a smile. Jungkook looks up at him and feels heat return to his chest at the gesture.

“Then let’s start over?” Jimin offers.

Jungkook is ready to decline, because he’s inclined to think there’s not need to start a friendship if Eunwoo isn’t there to meet and approve them. But as Jimin sits in front of him with his cherry nose and shining eyes, he thinks maybe it’s better to accept, because Eunwoo isn’t here to do that for him anymore. Even if things don’t get better, at least he has someone there that relates to him. At least he’ll feel less alone.

So Jungkook nods his head, which makes Jimin smile wider.

“Let’s start over.”

When Jungkook exchanges his number with Jimin after their pitiful night out in the cold together, he doesn’t expect to text and call him as frequently as he does. Granted, he’s not the one who initiates the conversations in most occurrences, he doesn’t ignore them as he previously thought he would.

That night when they shared contacts, Jungkook thinks it’s only due to the heat of the moment, with their heightened emotions and fragile hearts. Jungkook thinks that when he gets home and resumes his daily life, Jimin will only be a fleeting moment of a pathetic breakdown. He’s not prepared for the fleeting moment to appear constant in his daily routine; and he’s not prepared to feel okay with it.

Jungkook merely classifies it as an annoying distraction.

But after two months of passing conversations, and a few times hanging out during occasional bar nights with the others, that distraction is now a pleasing pass time Jungkook sometimes look forward to. And it only slightly bothers him, which in turn, bothers him more.

When Jimin doesn’t text him, Jungkook struggles to start up the conversation, and most time he doesn’t cave in, but this particular night he does.

Hey, what have you been up to?

Jungkook is alone in bed, tired on a Thursday night, but a little too restless to find sleep. Jin is out with Namjoon, Yoongi is producing music, and Hobi is doing Hobi things somewhere (he’s not texting him back). He looks around his room and seeing the frames of him and Eunwoo grace his nightstand -his heart squeezes, but it’s not the gut wrenching twist he used to feel a couple of months back. But just that picture, and the emptiness of the bed makes Jungkook feel extremely lonely.

He’s gotten used to the feeling, but it doesn’t make it any better living through it.

And Jimin hasn’t texted him at all today. Usually at this hour, he knows what Jimin’s had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. When night hits, Jungkook is able to relay just how many times Jimin has gone to the bathroom, who’s irritated him at work today, and a little new information about Taehyung.

It was all meaningless talk for the most part, but Jungkook realizes that it sometimes fuels his day. He never asked Jimin for a real time update on his life, but he’s the only one that’s really been keeping a constant check on him at every other hour of they day. It feels weird because he’s never like this even with Eunwoo. They trusted each other enough to not have to survey what they other are doing… they were never big on texting or calling, but as Jimin reaches out to him nonstop, he tends to think maybe it would’ve been nice to show a little interest in how their days went when they were apart.

He remembers one day when Jimin randomly texted him during work that caused him to think this way:

Annoying (12:32 pm):

Jungkook! Holy sh*t! You won’t believe what just happened lol

Someone garbage dived from the fourth floor of my work place. I swear my heart stopped! I thought he was committing suicide and I just witnessed it all. So I was freaking out, and debating whether or not to call the police and I’m crying at this point! I went to check if he was alright or anything. But guess what?

It was just a f*cking dummy!

Now I’m the idiot crying my ass off over a disposable dummy and the person who threw it in was watching me!

Can you believe that?

Jungkook nearly scared his security team because the younger suddenly couldn’t stop laughing after imagining the scenario play out in his mind. He could see it: Jimin’s wide and glittering eyes, lips parted in shock, cheeks rosy from embarrassment as he hides behind his little hands or run with his little legs. He had to excuse himself shortly after, because tears were starting to form from his chuckles. It’s the most he’s laughed in awhile -at work, no less.

Since then, Jungkook wonders if Eunwoo had any wild days, if there were any, that he didn’t share with him. There were certainly things that had happened to Jungkook that he brought up to Eunwoo, but he didn’t think they were interesting enough considering his lover would just smile and say “that’s nice.” Since then, Jungkook thinks he shouldn’t bother Eunwoo with trivial stories; they’re both busy with work to attend to such meaningless talk.

But unlike Eunwoo, Jimin proves to be easily entertained, and it’s throwing Jungkook off guard. On the same day, Jungkook passes a store on his way home and notices a plushie up against a glass frame. It’s a an animated chick, with a plump beak, crying, and Jimin immediately pops up in his mind like an afterthought. Jungkook quickly snaps the picture and sends it to Jimin’s open chat. It’s been hours and he hasn’t texted Jimin back after his short narrative. (Jungkook isn’t a good texter, but he’s surprised to see that it doesn’t dissuade Jimin from conversing with him anyway).

Jungkook (3:50pm)

That’s you.

Is all Jungkook replies with, attaching the image of the plushie.

Annoying (3:52pm):

Ha ha. f*ck you, Jungkook!

If that plushie weren’t so cute, I’d be offended :P

And Jungkook’s mood lightens up as he heads the rest of his way home.

However, today, isn’t like that. He hasn’t heard from Jimin at all… and Jungkook’s already started and deleted an opening conversation for the past five minutes until he settles with a casual, how are you?

You’re being clingy again. It isn’t mature.

Jungkook instantly regrets it. He’s rarely sent the first text, and barely upkeeps any conversation with Jimin and everyone else, so he isn’t being clingy -he knows that. However, it’s something he’s always worried about with Eunwoo. Whenever he reached out to his late fiance, he always worried whether or not he’d be bothering him.

He didn’t want to do the same to his hyungs, so he stopped texting frequently. Now he’s a little anxious over whether or not Jimin will start to feel the same.

When five minutes pass and Jimin has still yet to reply to him, Jungkook starts feeling a little anxious. Jimin isn’t Jungkook; the blonde hyung would rarely have Jungkook wait for a reply for more than two minutes. Either Jimin thinks he isn’t worth his time anymore, or Jimin’s in grave danger.

It’s so wrong for Jungkook to lean toward the latter briefly, but in his heart it’s because he knows he’d hate to find out that the other had just decided to not talk to him.

It’s nine, an hour after he texted, and Jimin still hasn’t replied. Now, he may very well be freaking out or overreacting, but Jungkook feels an unsettling beat in his heart. For the past two months, there’s never been a time when Jimin hasn’t texted him. Everyday, for two months straight, even during Christmas, Jimin has greeted him, said goodnight to him, or simply hit up with a ‘hope you have a good day!’ It’s Jungkook that has sh*tty text schedules. It’s Jungkook where they have to wonder if he’ll send a text or call back or not. It has never been Jimin.

He gives it a shot and calls him. It’s the first time he’s initiated the call and Jungkook is feeling nervous, but something in him is begging to make sure Jimin is okay and safe. Something in him is traumatized to think maybe he’ll never hear from him again… never see him again… never speak to him again…

More than nervousness and fear, Jungkook is overwhelmed with confusion, because he doesn’t know why he’s so f*cking torn up about not having a single call or text. He barely knows Jimin, yet he can’t stop the terror ripping him to shreds every minute where Jimin isn’t reaching out to him.

What he does know is that they are at least friends. They are friends that relate to one another… in more ways than any other person in Jungkook’s life. And Jungkook knows that for that reason alone, he can’t let that go; he doesn’t want to.

He doesn’t want to feel lost and alone again. He just can’t.

He glances to Eunwoo’s face on his nightstand, smiling back at him, and he feels his heart drop.

f*ck. He’s not ready to feel that way again. He’s never ready to feel that way with anyone ever again.

He doesn’t want to be the only one in this f*cking world of his to numb out his pain and pretend. Because he’s tired but too stubborn to drop the act. At least with Jimin he didn’t have to; at least with Jimin he didn’t have to pretend to be strong because Jimin understands.

When the call falls through, and the sound of Jimin’s voicemail rings in his ear, Jungkook is panicking. Guilt is slowly overwhelming him, causing his brain to malfunction and shut down. His limbs are going numb, his heart is pumping, and his vision is blurring. He’s finding it hard to breath and reign in his well structured composure -whatever composure he’s managed to hold on to.

Maybe if he’d texted Jimin early on, he’d know where he was at least… or what he’s doing. Maybe if he’d call early on, he’d know if he were in trouble.

What if he’s too late?

What if he loses him like Eunwoo?

Jungkook collapses on his knees as he tries to regulate his breathing; he’s crying now, in near hysterics at the idea of losing another person in his life that makes him feel good about himself. He’s starting to regret not being nicer to Jimin, not talking to Jimin enough or hanging out with Jimin whenever they’re out with their hyungs. He starts regretting being a little too harsh and mean, or a little too cold and too competitive. He starts regretting it all because Jimin has been nothing but nice and welcoming to him.

Why can’t he ever learn?

His mind is in turmoil -logic is thrown out the door as he’s subjecting himself to only think of worst case scenarios.

It’s been awhile since he’s last broken down. The last time had been just a little over two months ago, when the loneliness had gotten too much for Jungkook and the memories were too insistent. The last time, Jungkook realizes, is just before he met Jimin. He makes the scary connection that he’s been feeling less alone, less anxious, since the blonde firecracker has entered his life simply because the other gives him no time to feel any bit of it.

He struggles to get his phone and dials his recent contact: Jin.

“Jungkook?”

Only slight hiccups and heavy breathing could be exchanged from Jungkook’s end as he finds it difficult to utter a word out since his throat seized up entirely with sobs. Through this, Jin is automatically more alert, his voice and tone showcases the concern when he demands Jungkook to tell him what’s wrong. Jungkook makes out the shuffle of movement, a few thuds as if Jin is making valiant attempts to leave wherever he is immediately.

But he doesn’t need Jin physically =he just needs a semblance of comfort or an assurance that his worry is irrational and for naught, because Jimin is okay.

“W-where is h-he? Where is he, h-hyung?” Jungkook whispers, voice breaking from complete distress.

“Who? Jungkook, who? Where are you? Are you hurt?”

“No, no, no! I just… just -where is… w-where is J-Jimin?”

“Jimin? I think he’s at home…” There’s a muffled conversation afterwards and Jungkook assumes he’s speaking with Namjoon. “That’s what Namjoon says at least,” Jin continues. “But what’s going on? What’s happening? Are you crying Jungkook?” Jungkook can hear the confusion flood through the phone, but Jungkook’s already on his feet, gathering his keys in hand and trudging toward his front door.

“Thanks; I’ll talk to you later, hyung.”

“No! Wait, Jung-”

Jungkook is feeling frustration as he starts his car and recklessly pull out from his driveway. He barely remembers where Jimin lives, having dropped him off once because Namjoon was too hammered one night to do so. It doesn’t occur to him that what he’s doing is abnormally out of character of Jungkook until he’s at a red light.

For many years, Jungkook has practiced maturity by rationalizing his emotions and putting himself in check. Being Eunwoo’s friend, then boyfriend and fiancé has taught Jungkook composure and patience. It was his utmost priority to maintain that persona. And it’s come as a shock to him that he’s just broken down at Jimin’s expense…

This isn’t him. This isn’t the Jungkook he’s built up for the past years. He isn’t one to cry over something as small as not receiving a call or text back from someone he’s known for merely two months; he’s not one to panic and call his hyungs for ridiculous questions and assistance; he isn’t one to act like a child. Not anymore, at least.

He’s falling apart, he knows it. He’s losing himself again and it’s all because of a f*cking blonde with the same experiences as himself.

But for once it doesn’t matter. The pain is too great and the loneliness is too suffocating.

So when the light turns green, Jungkook sticks to his path, driving toward Jimin’s place without turning back.

He makes it to his little apartment in record speed, probably at illegal rates, as well. But Jungkook doesn’t care as he flings his car door open and fly up multiple stairs to Jimin’s floor, foregoing the elevator entirely. The lights are off, the halls are silent, but Jungkook feels the chill glooming over within.

His knocks go unheard, his calls are left unanswered, and Jungkook is almost feeling angry.

There’s nothing but confusion, concern, and anguish as Jungkook runs the the pad of his fingers along the crack of Jimin’s threshold when after a few moments silence is all he’s given. He feels the cool metal -Jimin’s spare key; Jungkook finds this out a few nights prior when Jimin was too influenced by alcohol to find his own key within his bag.

Jungkook is relieved to find that it’s still there.

Quickly, he shoves the key within the lock, but hesitates before he turns.

Once he steps through the open doors, he’s entering Jimin’s life and in turn he’s allowing Jimin to enter his. Jungkook can turn around right now, and Jimin doesn’t need to know the hysterics and illegal routes Jungkook has made in order to get to him. Jungkook can turn around right now and retire back into his bed and not care. But his stomach lurches at the thought of practically abandoning Jimin, despite not having any obligation whatsoever to him. He’s never felt responsible for anyone else other than Eunwoo… and even then, Jungkook knows that responsibility over Eunwoo is a rare case as he was always put together.

You’re being irrational again; they don’t need you to act this way.

He shushes Eunwoo’s voice in his mind and turns the lock.

Because this time Eunwoo is wrong, and he’s sure of it when the first thing he sees is Jimin in the dark, cradled in on himself, shaking as he hugs his knees close to his face.

Jimin does need him.

Jungkook isn’t entirely sure what should be done, but he allows his body to move on their own accord. So he lets himself stride his way toward Jimin, kicking the door shut behind him, and pull Jimin back comfortingly by the shoulders when the other flinches from the abrupt intrusion.

“It’s just me,” Jungkook shushes quietly, appeasing the alarm in Jimin’s stiff body by running circles on his frail back. It’s the first time he’s held Jimin like this, and he’s quick to notice the bones protruding from his fair skin -he runs his fingers along his spine, frowning at how prominent the shapes of his bones can be defined. Jungkook has gone days without eating as well, but it had only been for a short period of time after his loss. As Jungkook grips tighter onto Jimin, he realizes that Jimin probably hasn’t been eating right for months.

Is this why he wears oversized clothing? To hide? Jungkook wonders worriedly.

How irresponsible, is what Eunwoo would say.

“Jimin, what’s going on?”

It was the wrong f*cking thing to ask. Jimin shakes in his hold and retreats back into his shell, stifling sobs that were sure to reverberate along his walls if he weren’t biting his lips shut.

“Stop, stop,” Jungkook soothes, hating how useless and pathetic he feels for flaming Jimin’s distress. He briefly lets Jimin go to circle his fingers around the other’s frail wrists, anxiety shooting up upon realizing he only need a single hand to wrap along both wrists.

He’s treating Jimin like fine porcelain as he gently attempts to pry Jimin from hiding within himself; it doesn’t take a lot of strength to do so during his weakened state, but Jungkook isn’t prepared to see what is hidden behind the physical shield.

Jimin is undoubtedly broken.

It’s dim-lit, only the moon providing enough illumination from the open window to bring to light the horror of Jimin’s state. He’s pale, all vibrancy wiped clean from Jimin’s face as there is no blush on his cheeks, no color on his flawless skin. The only contrasting color that only adds to the horror is the dark rims under his tear brimmed and clenched eyes, and the swell of his lips, swollen and red with fresh rips of skin from biting too hard. His blonde hair is matted on his forehead with sweat, and Jungkook brushes them away with his free hand.

Jimin is shuddering, hiccuping, wailing in silent screams, and more tears moisturize his cheeks and neck as they stream down endlessly.

It’s been so long since he’s last taken care of anyone. Years maybe. Maybe since Eunwoo. So he has no f*cking clue how to even begin; but the longer he stays frantic, wondering over what he should do and how he should do it, he’s losing Jimin to his demons and torments. Jungkook can’t wait anymore as he pushes through Jimin’s defense and slip his arms around his waist to embrace him.

A hug.

Hobi always gives hugs when he wanted to calm Jungkook down during their younger years. It always worked, Jungkook remembers vividly.

It’s strange because other than Eunwoo, he hasn’t hugged anyone as close as he is with Jimin in such a long time.

f*ck, it’s been such a long time since he’s shown any affection to literally anyone else, Jungkook realizes bitterly. It’s been so long since anyone had shown any type of affection like this in return. But he knows it’s because Jungkook doesn’t allow them to. He shies away and distances himself whenever they tried -that included his hyungs. But he remembers how he liked being held… shy’d he stop? When did he become so cold? Why had he?

And it feels nice, even if Jimin feels like he can snap in his hold if he held on too tight.

Okay, he has Jimin in his hold now. Now what?

What would Eunwoo say?

Crying won’t help you. You need to swallow it down and work to bring yourself up.

Jungkook wants to rolls his eyes, because he’s not going to say that. It works for Jungkook, but it won’t for Jimin. Not when Namjoon’s worries spell around in his mind reminding him that Jimin is a lot more fragile emotionally, that he’s sensitive and sensible like no other.

So he shuns Eunwoo’s words out hastily and frantically searches for new mental advice. What would Jin say?

Jungkook can’t remember. He can’t remember Jin’s comforting words whenever he’d come over to his place and make sure that he eats his meals. He can’t remember if Jin even had said anything to him at all, or if Jungkook shut him down before Jin even tried. It makes Jungkook sick to his stomach realizing that this feeling of absolute uselessness is probably how his hyungs feel every time Jungkook refuses their help.

But Jimin isn’t refusing his help; Jungkook is just inept in terms of comfort.

So instead of relying on the words of others, he relies on the words lingering in his own heart -they were words he wishes penetrated him in the depths of his torment.

“You’re not okay,” Jungkook starts to say, pointing out the obvious; and usually others would enforce that ‘everything is going to be okay,’ bullsh*t, and although that can be the truth, sometimes pointing out reality is better than enforcing a false outlook of the present. Sometimes the negativity helps rather than the positive. “So let it out. Scream, cry, and hurt until you’re numb or whatever… do it all until you feel lighter.”

In retrospect, telling the other to feel numb is horrid advice. But it’s the only way Jungkook has coped thus far.

Jimin releases either way. He’s not biting into his lips anymore, but rather he’s piercing through Jungkook’s flesh, nails breaking skin when the smaller man finally wraps his arms around Jungkook, clenching him hard from the back. But Jungkook lets him because he’s felt worse.

Physical wounds at the moment are nothing compared to mental wounds they both carry.

“I’m not going to say it gets better, because even I’m not there yet. I don’t know when it will or if it ever will… but at least you have me to share your pain with. At least you have me to understand you when no one else does.”

“I-it hurts! It h-hurts so b-bad!” Jimin cries out, voice hoarse and strained from hours of sobbing.

“I know…”

Jungkook holds a little tighter, pulling Jimin flush to his chest, because maybe he needs this, too. He needs the warmth and affection; he needs that comfort that only Jimin has been able to give him lately.

“I don’t know when I’ll be okay.”

“I’m not here to give you a timeline.”

“What if I’ll never be okay?” Jimin’s voice is as soft as a whisper; Jungkook has to lean in closer to hear him.

“I’m not giving you a deadline, either.”

It’s silent for a long moment. Jungkook is there to be Jimin’s lifeline as he cries his heart out, screams his lungs out, and spills his entire soul and energy into his mourns. His legs have gone numb since Jimin had climbed onto his lap, but he doesn’t move a single muscle in fear it would trigger another set of Jimin’s brash outcry. He doesn’t move until Jimin starts nodding off, exhaustion finally blanketing him as his breath shallows and evens out. Jungkook links his hands around the back of Jimin’s thighs and lifts him up -the other still has a firm grip around Jungkook’s neck, so he hangs on when the younger maneuvers them onto Jimin’s sofa.

He lays Jimin down carefully, straightening his legs and throwing a pillow under him to cushion his head. There’s a linen throw he sees laying around in his peripherals and he pulls it over to drape over Jimin’s body and ensures he’s properly kept covered and warm.

Jungkook crouches down so that he’s at eye level with Jimin’s drifting face. A bit of color is back on his skin, which relaxes Jungkook, but as the overgrown sweater spills low, displaying his body under, Jungkook feels his stomach drop.

Jimin is so incredibly thin -he wonders why Namjoon hasn’t noticed, or if he has why hasn’t he done more to help. Jimin’s collarbones are piercing through his flesh, and it almost looks as if it’ll tear right through him. If he goes on like this, Jimin won’t only fall apart mentally, he’ll shatter and break apart physically, too. Life is slipping past him and Jimin is too lost to help himself out of it.

Jungkook understands the feeling… But he’s not about to watch Jimin go through with it. Because he’s been through it as well, and it’s complete, utter Hell; Jungkook just snapped out of it sooner.

So he decides randomly, as Jimin sleeps through the night finally grasping peace, that he’ll stay. He’ll stay the night and stay the morning.

He’s damaged, Jungkook. Stay away.

Jungkook shuts his eyes, Eunwoo’s warning ringing clear in his mind.

“I’m damaged too, Eunwoo…” he whispers into the night.

He realizes then that it’s the most times he’s gone against Eunwoo, despite all of them being within his mind. Usually, Jungkook would follow through with his late fiancé’s every warning, desire, and suggestion. However, with all things related to the blondie, it seems as if Jimin has always elicited the exact opposite, and Jungkook falls through with it each time. Because Jimin and Eunwoo are different, and they both reacted differently -they both needed different things.

You only need me… only me, Jungkook.

Jungkook frowns and looks to Jimin somberly. For so long, Eunwoo was all Jungkook needed, and he thought it was the same with him. But it wasn’t. Eunwoo needed adventure; he needed space; he needed stability and status.

But this time… Jungkook is needed. He liked to believe Jimin needed him.

Because other than falling into his own self pity, pretending to be strong in front of strangers, and being numb to the pain and frustration whenever he’s with his hyungs, he wants to finally feel needed instead of needing others.

He wants to be in pain with someone…

…and maybe he's just decided that he wants to heal with someone, too.

Chapter 2: Calm and Broken

Chapter Text

Jungkook is in over his head. Everything seemed to make sense the night before; however, as the morning sun peeked through the open window of Jimin’s living room, lighting his dim life with hues of burnt orange and blinding yellow, everything started to blur. His emotions were at a painful high last night, which caused Jungkook to act out above his logic. He slept on the floor below Jimin, curled up in nothing but the throw that draped over Jimin’s body from above. Jungkook remembers reaching out in the dead of night for the outstretched hand that hung from above to hold onto small, nimble fingers. Jungkook remembers how that soft link comforted him and how he found sleep easily afterwards.

They weren’t in bed together -he doesn’t think he’ll probably share a bed with anyone anytime soon, but having Jimin near did help ease the silence of night.

It was soothing, how fast he drifted that night. His mind finally found just a little semblance of peace, although empty, it’s better than seeing flashes of the newscast, flashes of Eunwoo’s face, and flashes of his deteriorating state. Jungkook misses him too much sometimes, he knows it’s okay, but he also recognizes how unhealthy he’s being. He’s pushed aside so much of himself, the guilt, the blame, and the shame eating and tearing away at him until he’s just flesh and bones.

And for awhile, Jungkook was okay with that, too.

So he almost feels bad for finding the sleep he had last night -found through Jimin’s unhealthy state. That, in itself, was a wake up call for Jungkook. That is how his hyungs saw him. And if Jungkook felt terrible seeing Jimin in that way, only knowing him for a couple of months, he could only imagine the f*cking pain his hyungs felt seeing him, knowing him for several years.

Jimin’s hand still hovers above him -empty now.

Jungkook almost feels the magnetic pull, the insistent urge to reach over again to intertwine their fingers once more, craving the little bit of warmth he felt hours earlier. He also wants Jimin to wake up knowing he isn’t alone in his feelings anymore. He wants Jimin to wake up with their hands intertwined and just know that Jungkook is going to be there. Yet he resisted.

He bites his lips in frustration and curls his fingers into a tight fist by his sides.

“What am I doing?” Jungkook sighs.

Nothing makes sense anymore. Jungkook doesn’t do things like this: care too much. It is needy, clingy and burdensome.

But he cranes his neck to the door and realizes, there is not a single bone, muscle, or nerve urging him to get up right now and leave; he simply doesn’t want to.

But Eunwoo won’t like it, Jungkook frowns.

But Eunwoo isn’t here anymore, Jungkook remembers.

His heart is heavy again, and his eyes sting, but he brushes the hurt away with a small slap to both his cheeks, bringing him back to reality -a reality where he’s currently sleeping on the floor below Jimin, who’s hurt just as much as he is, but destroying himself more than he has.

He stretches his limbs and winces at the ache he feels curled up in such an odd manner for hours. He gets up to see Jimin, in all his soft glory, nuzzled cutely under the throw, cheeks pressed up against the cushion, and light blonde hair amiss.

Jungkook doesn’t acknowledge the slight smile creeping up on his face.

Then he sees again the shallowness of his shoulders, the edge of his collarbones, the drastic drip of his waist, and his smile fades into a concerned frown.

He’s not your responsibility, Jungkook.

“He’s not,” Jungkook agrees, but even so he feels his body move on their own accord. He makes his way to the small kitchen, pulling out the pantry and fridge and takes in the situation of just how desolate everything is, a poor reflection of how Jimin is treating himself. There’s nothing in his kitchen but canned soup, a few slices of fruit, water, and soju.

“Jimin…” he finds himself scolding under his breath, eyes redirected to the sleeping body just a few yards away from the kitchen island. Jungkook takes a quick look at the time, noticing the longer hand indicate it’s half pass seven. He needs to get to work in little less than two hours.

Jungkook sets aside a bowl and begins chopping up the left over apple, discarding the browning parts of the fruit. He adds a bit of honey and cinnamon for a little sweetness and mixes it thoroughly with his freshly cleaned hands. Understanding that it may not be enough, Jungkook quickly dumps a can of soup in a pot and starts heating the concoction.

As the liquid starts bubbling under the intense heat, Jungkook is greatly displeased with the color and fragrance. “Please let there be vegetables…” Jungkook finds himself muttering as he’s frantically going over Jimin’s compartments, all the while minding the time.

“I should really leave…” he curses. But he can’t. He can’t just leave knowing he could’ve done more.

Finally he sees onions, choisum, potatoes and green onions, hidden in the back of one of the fridge compartments. Carefully, Jungkook peels away the wilted greens, only taking parts of the produce that looked decent enough to cook. He throws them into the pot, lets them simmer before dashing in a little more pepper. The aroma starts to strengthen, a lot more potent than the bland soup earlier.

He sets the pot next to the freshly cut fruits and brings it to the coffee table just beside Jimin. Jungkook glances toward the time once more: 7:52 AM. “I really need to get going,” he whispers. Before hightailing out of Jimin’s place, he folds the throw that draped pass the sofa over Jimin and tucks him in, the smaller man shimmies into the warmth and it makes Jungkook smile one last time.

Lastly, Jungkook writes a note.

I’d better get a picture of two empty bowls sent to me. -JK

And he leaves, not thinking about how it’s his first time in a long time cooking for someone, or staying at someone’s place overnight, or how he fleetingly felt like he wanted to just stay. Jungkook shakes his head. No, he can’t have any of that.

He goes into work with the mindset of overworking himself. His mind has been too preoccupied with Jimin’s wellbeing and it’s taken almost an unhealthy toll on Jungkook, because guilt is thick in his throat as he so much thinks of Eunwoo in the same headspace. But he can’t help but think about him as his eyes skim over screens and codes, as his fingers blaze through the keyboard, and even during company meetings. Jungkook can’t help but have his mind drift over whether or not Jimin has woken up… if he feels bad to have woken up alone… if he’s even eating the food he provided.

And in the midst of worrying over Jimin, Jungkook can’t help but think of Eunwoo.

Will he be disappointed in him if he were still here? If he were still here, would he have given Jimin the attention he’s providing right now? Would he even have met Jimin?

Jungkook wants to laugh as he’s giving out his report to his team, but he holds it in and stays passive. It’s ridiculous how much this one person is affecting him right now -it’s even more ridiculous how he’s allowing it. Jungkook never thought that he’d be so involved in someone’s life other than the life he was ready to share with Eunwoo. He’d never think there’d be anyone else he’d give his attention to, and it frightens him just a little.

But Jungkook knows he may need Jimin more than he lets on. And he’s already confirmed in his mind that Jimin needs him.

That’s the only thing that’s tethering them -an unwanted fate of lost lives brought them to each other. Jungkook is willing to be part of his life and allow Jimin to be part of us his. But he’d keep his distance, because despite everything Eunwoo’s disapproving look in his mind is also taking a toll on him.

Jimin:

-attached photo-

Jungkook’s just a little proud of himself when he sees the picture of two empty bowls; he likes to think his makeshift soup had been delicious to be devoured thoroughly. Despite the glee in an accomplishing his task, Jungkook doesn’t reply; there’s no need to assure Jimin, he did what he did. Jungkook will always be there to lend Jimin a hand, but he’s decided that he won’t be the one extending his arm out for him first.

He needed some boundaries.

It’s been only several minutes before Jimin texts him again, right after his meeting.

Jimin:

I’m sorry about last night. Thank you.

… today’s his birthday.

it’s just hard.

And just like that, in one fell swoop, his resolve for distance and boundaries disintegrate. Jungkook can’t even remember the notion of setting them when he’s quick to reply to Jimin -the quickest reply, ever.

Jungkook:

Are you free after 5:30 ?

Jimin:

mhmm… why?

Jungkook:

I’m picking you up after work.

Jimin:

What do you mean, Jungkook?

…?

hello?

why??

This time Jungkook doesn’t reply, because he doesn’t know the answer to that as well. Instead, he’s drowned himself in more work, dreading the time as it ticks closer to the wretched hour. He’s not even sure what he wants to do when he picks Jimin up; Jungkook just sure as Hell isn’t going to let Jimin be alone during this painful day.

It hasn’t even crossed his mind to wonder where Namjoon is -whether he’s mourning the loss of his friend in solidarity, or he simply wasn’t close enough to Taehyung to even be affected as much to begin with. He wonders if Namjoon is even aware of what day it is and what it means to Jimin.

But despite all that, at least Jungkook knows. And before he knew what he was doing, his thumb hit ‘send,’

“What the f*ck am I even doing?” Jungkook whispers as he threads his fingers through his hair harshly, pulling his roots just hard enough to reprimand his impulsive actions.

He’s second guessing his offer when he finishes work, second guesses as he revs his car, second guesses as he takes the exit toward Jimin’s home, and second guesses as he parks the car in front of Jimin’s complex. Jungkook lingers there for a moment and presses his forehead along the curve of his steering wheel.

Jungkook sucks in a breath and composes himself.

Jungkook:

I’m downstairs

Jimin pops up from his door almost instantly, eyes wide with confusion, but Jungkook could already tell the smaller man had been crying.

This is why he’s doing this -to share their pain.

He’s making his way downstairs, blonde hair bouncing with each descent. Once more, Jimin is clad in tight, black jeans and a cream colored, oversized sweater. The shade compliments him really well -it makes Jimin look softer.

Jungkook shakes his head, saving himself from his thoughts.

When Jimin closes in on him, Jungkook starts bringing his window down and unlocking the car doors.

“Jungkook? Where are we going?”

He doesn’t know.

“Just get in, Jimin.”

Jimin pouts, and for a moment, Jungkook thinks the other will refuse due to lack of information. Instead, Jimin puffs out a breath and circles around his vehicle to enter the passenger seat. It’s by accident when Jimin’s sweater dips as he bends forward to slide in his seat -and it’s by accident when Jungkook is given yet another look into Jimin’s state beneath the deceiving clothes.

He can’t stop himself when he asks Jimin if he’s eaten yet, and Jungkook can’t help but scoff when the other merely shrugs and says, “just a little.” Because Jungkook knows, ‘just a little’ may very well mean, ‘not at all.’

He’s decided then where he wants to go and where Jimin should frequently visit. It isn’t far, only a few minutes, before Jungkook already pulls up into the parking lot.

“The supermarket? Why did you want to go here?”

Jungkook ignores the questions and slips out of the car; Jimin hastily follows him into the marketplace. Although confused and a little dazed, Jimin doesn’t question Jungkook any further, nor does he complain. The younger deduces that it’s because it gets Jimin temporarily out of his torture -a little random distraction from the overwhelming guilt he harbors.

He’s leaning against the cart and pushes along the isles, scanning the shelves for ingredients. In a short half hour, Jungkook has the cart filled and it baffles him. He’s never shopped so intensely before, reason being he never really had to. It was rare for Eunwoo and he to cook at home, because the later much rather prefer to eat out, only trusting certified chefs to cater to his tastes.

Established and refined people have others cook for them, Jungkook. Be keen on remembering that.

Before, Jungkook enjoyed cooking -he’d been excited to be able to feed his love with his creations, but he learned not to bring that up anymore. So he stopped cooking altogether, even for himself because Jungkook didn’t know how to properly portion out his food as Eunwoo had insisted.

So as he looks to the cart with mushrooms, green onion, pork belly, tofu, and other items, he’s doubting his capabilities. He pushes his tongue against his cheek in contemplation -he had ingredients for kimchi jiggae, and kimchi pancake… he could also just make samgpyeopsal with lettuce and perilla leaf wraps. That is simple enough.

He turns his neck to check out the aisle with gochujang when he spots Jimin leaning toward the cool isle full of drinks. Long sleeves hang pull back a carton of banana milk; it makes Jungkook wince as Jimin strolls his way to the cart and start to put it in until -

“We are not buying that,” Jungkook argues.

Jimin starts to pout, but he doesn’t relent, dropping the item into the cart.

“Why not?” Jimin asks, lifting an eyebrow and tilting his head to the side innocently. “It’s really good. Have you not tried this before?”

Jungkook can’t help but roll his eyes. “Of course I’ve tried it… when I was a kid, Jimin.”

This remark only confuses Jimin more. “I don’t see what the problem is then. If you’re implying that only kids can drink stuff like this, then you’re no fun.”

“I’m not buying it-”

“Then that’s fine,” Jimin interrupts with a huff. “‘Cause I’m gonna buy it.”

A kid, Jungkook complains inwardly. Jimin is an absolute child.

“Jimin,” Jungkook starts, hand reaching over to grab the item, but Jimin gently slaps it away. “Are you kidding me? Grow up, would you?”

Jimin doesn’t look a bit offended by the remark, but he does roll his eyes at Jungkook, which only irritates him more.

“Lighten up, Kook. It’s only banana milk. It’s the only thing I’ve put in the cart since we got here.”

“Exactly,” Jungkook mutters. “We’re in a super market, and I’ve been filling this cart with food for the past half hour, and you’ve only gotten children’s drink when your fridge is f*cking empty. Do you see the problem here?”

It’s too late to take it back. Jimin is absolutely stunned by his outburst, looking at him with blown eyes and parted lips. They’re alone in the aisle and the tension is thickening with each passing second they look at each in complete baffles. Jimin is the first to speak, placing his hands upon the cart and leaning into Jungkook from across.

“What?” Jimin asks quietly? “Is this why you brought us here? For me to stock up?”

Jungkook shrugs, not wanting to look as if he cared too much. But his words betray him.

“You’re not looking after yourself properly.”

Although it’s really not his responsibility to look after Jimin in his stead, it’s a fact that Jimin is clearly not in the right mindset to take care of himself.

“I’m an adult. I think I can take care of myself.”

“Then stop acting like a child,” Jungkook reprimands, but the words sting even himself -because he’s heard that enough times and knows just how infuriating it is.

“Jungkook.” Jimin’s tone drops coldly -there’s distance in his tone, despite the other continuing to draw in closer. “I’m grateful for your concern… really, but you don’t need to involve yourself with this -I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” Jungkook replies bluntly, challenging Jimin’s cold stare with one of his own -yet it’s so completely off putting the way Jimin’s looking at him, without warmth and light. Jungkook feels himself being intimidated by the smaller man and he so badly wants to back down, but he knows better than to appear weak.

He can’t be weak.

“Jimin, I’m a f*cking mess. And you are, too. Didn’t we already establish that? I’m not f*cking judging you for it, if that’s what’s offending you, but I’m not letting you go on with it, either.”

Jimin crosses his arms now, still glaring at Jungkook with a little too much anguish than he is used to. “It’s just been a hard week, Jungkook. I’m fine, though! Seriously.”

But Jimin is head strong and stubborn; Jungkook learns that about him in the two months he’s known him. Despite being bubbly, energetic, and compassionate… Jimin can be quite the stubborn character, always wanting no one to worry over him, always wanting to seem fine, always wanting to appear like the ray of sun that can’t be dimmed.

And then within closed doors, he’ll break down. He’ll release all the pent up emotions… and cry his heart and soul out.

He’s f*cking stubborn. But so is Jungkook.

“I’m the one person you don’t need to convince that you’re fine to,” Jungkook snaps back. “I know you’re not, so you can shut up and let me do this.”

“I just don’t f*cking get it,” Jimin chuckles darkly. Jungkook sees a few shoppers start to enter and awkwardly leave after sensing the fight between the two. It’s embarrassing Jungkook immensely -he’s never had something like this happen with Eunwoo before. They don’t exactly fight. But they don’t exactly converse much enough to fight about anything, either.

“You’re so shut off from me most of the time and I feel like I’m picking straws just to get your attention1 And now you wanna get involved? Who even asked you to come over last night?”

Jungkook feels the heat rise in his body. He’s both angry and nervous all at the same time. Angry at Jimin for nearly scream hissing at him for doing something selfless in a public space, and nervous because he can’t answer Jimin’s question without him seeming as if he cared a lot for the man.

“Can you put a lid on your emotions? Eunwoo was always so calm, but you’re always like this… too loud and too expressive…you’re too happy, too sad, or too mad and it’s giving me f*cking whiplash keeping up with you.”

“At least I am expressive. You’re always so f*cking composed and stale. Even if your words are harsh and cold. Even now. I can’t even tell if you’re mad. It’s like you don’t feel anything!”

“I don’t really feel anything anymore. I lost my fiancé,” Jungkook whispers icily, reminding Jimin of the fact.

Jungkook sees the way Jimin is ready to retort, but just before a sound releases from his lips, Jimin quickly bites them.

Silence engulfs them now, and Jungkook tries hard to ignore the peering eyes that linger at the end of aisles, watching them.

“And you lost Taehyung. I know what you’re going through, Jimin… so quit acting strong with me. I don’t really f*cking care to see you fake it.”

“It’s easier to fake it than live through the reality.”

Jungkook sighs and turns to grab the gochujang from the shelf and place it in the car. “But reality is reality. We both lost someone, but we don’t need to lose ourselves, too, do we?”

“This is so f*cked up,” Jimin says, but it holds no bite, and his gaze softens from defensive to an almost look of acceptance. Jungkook knows Jimin is aware of his behavior, of his destructive path, and in turn, Jungkook does lighten up a little. Because tough love only works when you actually love someone -Jungkook is just being tough on someone who is struggling to heal. He should know better; he’s still struggling, after all.

“Look, I’m not micro managing your life, Jimin. I just noticed when I tried to cook you food this morning-” Jungkook purposefully veers off mentioning his appearance knowing full well it may cause Jimin to recline in on himself. “Don’t make it a big deal.”

“It’s a big deal when you’re spending this much money on me because of it.”

“Who says I’m buying it?”

Jimin gapes at this. He quickly pushes away from the cart and starts assessing each item within, mentally calculating each of their cost and how much it would amount to. Before Jungkook can say anything, Jimin is already arms deep, grabbing items to put away.

“Then clearly I don’t need this much,” Jimin laughs nervously. “I don’t even like seafood… and this is too much mushroom… I have green onion at home…”

Jimin looks flustered. The chill in his eyes are now replaced with wild shock as he quickly starts pulling out more from the cart to cradle in his arms. The mountain he’s carrying is starting to overwhelm him, and he almost looks extra small as his face is starting to be hidden.

Jungkook smiles knowing Jimin won’t be able to see it, and his earlier irritation starts ebbing away. It’s the first he’s had a blown out fight, in public no less, but after the tension he doesn’t feel uncomfortable… instead he feels a little lifted, as if the heaviness in his chest has released.

“I’m kidding,” Jungkook says blandly, removing the items from Jimin’s arms to replace them back into the cart.

“You’re what?”

“Kidding. Couldn’t you tell?”

Jimin stares blankly at him; Jungkook isn’t sure how to respond so he just raises his eyebrows up in question. The little action baffles Jimin and he’s malfunctioning trying to say anything at all, mouth opening and closing like a lid.

“Y-you’re joking? You’re looking at me with such a plain face, how could I tell? This is what I mean, Jungkook. Smile a little sometimes, especially if you’re kidding. You could joke about telling me to jump off a cliff and I would because I’d think you were serious for f*ck’s sake.”

“You shouldn’t jump off a cliff just ‘cause I told you to,” Jungkook deadpans.

“It’s an exaggerated example,” Jimin giggles and punches Jungkook’s shoulder lightly. He steps back a little to glance at the filled cart with a guilty frown. “But this is too much, Kook. This is at least a hundred dollars in here.”

“I can afford it.”

“I’m not doubting that you can… I just feel bad.”

“Don’t,” Jungkook assures, and the argument ends there. The younger looks to the banana milk and sighs -all that fight just for a drink… he and Eunwoo would never. They’d often disagree over more adult issues, like company decisions, associated partners, and finances. So fighting with Jimin over banana milk felt so ridiculous and so new.

And though harsh words were exchanged, he didn’t mind it.

When they’re in line preparing to ring their items up, Jimin separates the banana milk on the belt with the divider. However, just as Jungkook’s items were almost done being scanned, the younger lifts the divider to include the milk within his transaction in the last second.

“J-Jungkook!” Jimin yelps.

“It’s fine,” is all Jungkook says before swiping his card into the machine.

The silence returns on the car ride back home, and though it was just five minutes worth, it almost feels like forever before Jungkook pulls into Jimin’s apartment complex parking lot. They’re unloading the car, carrying heaps of bags onto their arms when Jungkook hears Jimin sigh. He doesn’t turn to him then, but he does so when Jimin apologizes.

Jimin is pouting, barely making eye contact with Jimin as he’s clenching three plastic bags in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats. “You were right… I was acting like a child back there. And I didn’t mean to be so mean… I know I have issues, really I do. It’s just hard to stomach food down sometimes -or anything at all. I didn’t mean for it to get this bad…”

Jungkook feels a little remorseful as he’s looking at the usual ball of sunshine now curled in on himself as if he’s ready to be scolded once more. Jimin isn’t a child; he’s acknowledging his wrongs before him, understands the situation, and apologizes first. That’s a first, considering Jungkook is usually the one to say sorry (even when he’s right) with Eunwoo.

Jungkook knows he’s not at all immature than he claims Jimin to be. He shimmies the bags he has in his arms, freeing his hands before dipping forward and grabbing two bags from Jimin, leaving him with one. Jungkook is already turning around before Jimin could even protest.

Knowing he’s not able to convince Jungkook otherwise as they’re ascending up the stairs, Jimin is quick to open his doors so the younger can finally put the groceries down. Six bags -Jungkook carried five of them up.

“Do you want water?” Jimin asks, pouring a cup without waiting for a reply.

Jungkook takes it and settles the cup down afterwards. He doesn’t hesitate to start sorting out the groceries, putting ingredients in the cupboards or fridge, and leaving several items out for him to start dinner. Jimin is assisting tentatively, unsure of how to proceed with this scenario.

Jimin just watches, sitting on the stool of his kitchen island as Jungkook twists the plastic bags into a knot to be reused for other purposes. There’s seaweed, tofu, sesame oil, pork belly, and a single slice of cake.

“Is that your dessert?” Jimin asks, pointing a finger at the chocolate slice.

“No.”

Jimin tilts his head.

“Is that mine?”

“No.”

Jimin frowns.

“Do you need help?”

“No.”

Jimin huffs and crosses his arms frustratingly. “Gosh, Jungkook! Shall I turn off the AC? There’s no need for it since you’re already so cold.”

“Go watch TV, Jimin.”

“Wow, suddenly I’m your kid now?”

“What?” Jungkook asks, frowning from Jimin’s bratty behavior. “Can you just let me cook in peace?”

“Fine, fine. Probably can’t trust me in the kitchen since I’m a child, afterall.”

“You’re not convincing me otherwise.”

“You’re impossible, Jungkook.”

But Jimin leaves, too tired to prolong the argument, and retires into his living room sofa. However, he doesn’t turn the TV on as suggested by Jungkook, and instead pulls out his phone to start mindlessly scrolling through his social media.

Jungkook doesn’t take too long to finish his dishes as he kept them simple. He spoons three bowls of seaweed soup, plates the grilled pork belly, and sets aside the Bachan around the main entree.

It isn’t until he pierces a candle through the cake when he notices just how eerily quiet Jimin’s apartment floor is. Jungkook walks his way toward Jimin, who has his back to him, and he sees the smaller man trail his finger over the screen.

There’s a picture of a man.

He’s handsome. Extremely handsome. He has long, thick, curly hair draping over intense raven eyes. His nose is sharp, his cheekbones are high, his jawline prominent. He’s smiling largely with Jimin in his arms. They’re laughing.

Taehyung… Jungkook thinks.

They looked so happy together, genuinely enjoying their time with one another. Jungkook wonders just how many fond memories Jimin has with this man -for how many years did they have these types of moments… how many pictures did Jimin have that capture them.

Jungkook silently wishes that he had more of these stored memories with Eunwoo. His late fiancé wasn’t so big on pictures, despite Jungkook being very into film. Maybe then he could have something more to look back on, something tangible he could cherish and keep to sustain his cut relationship. But he let that go, too. Jungkook realizes that his passion for film also seems to have died down like his interest in cooking as there was no need to practice them if he couldn’t share them with Eunwoo. But maybe he should’ve held on and continued despite that.

He wonders if he can get back on it.

He wonders if he can capture that same smile on Jimin’s face in that photo.

He wonders if Jimin is still mad at him. Eunwoo could go days without speaking to Jungkook when they argued, and even if he were to apologize, the other would hold on until he needed something. Their arguments never really get resolved, but rather forgotten. Jungkook wonders if Jimin is the same.

“Jimin?” He calls out, voice small.

However, Jimin turns around and there’s no anger in his eyes, nor is there any sense of irritation or exhaustion. Instead, his eyes are a little glossy, and Jungkook sees the sadness in them.

“Yes?”

Jungkook extends a hand out, and Jimin takes it without hesitation as he’s being lifted from the sofa. "It's time to sing happy birthday…”

“Huh?”

Jimin stops in his tracks, making Jungkook stop as well. He’s still holding onto Jimin’s hand when he hears the blonde hyung gasp and hiccup in surprise, eyes adorning the table and the spread upon it. His fingers squeeze from Jimin’s tightening clutch, but he says nothing about it. Jungkook follows along when Jimin starts his pace at the edge of the table.

“Is this for… did you really?”

Tears stream down Jimin’s cheeks and he makes no effort to stop them this time.

Jungkook nudges Jimin’s shoulders, drawing his attention to the candle. “Since he can’t be here, why don’t you make a wish for him?”

From the side, Jungkook notices the way Jimin is tearing at his lips with his teethe, but before he can ease his nerves, the blonde nods his head frantically and makes his way toward the cake. Jimin is trying to compose himself, but his breath is shaking and his eyes are threatening to fall off from the flood of tears. Even so, he leans over, rubbing his eyes harshly with the back of his hands, and inhales sharply.

“Happy birthday, soulmate! Happy, happy birthday… I wish… I wish you weren’t alone, Taehyungie… I wish you were with Jungkook’s Eunwoo… so that he, too, wasn’t alone.” At the mention of his fiancé’s name, Jungkook tightens his hold on Jimin’s hand and sucks in a breath; it isn’t something he was expecting, but even if it hurts, it’s calming all the same -it’s touching that Jimin is thinking of him during his time of mourning. “I wish that… if you’re gone, you went peacefully.” Jungkook closes his eyes, a tear slipping past him before he rushes to wipe it away; he wishes for that, too.

“But if you’re out there…” Jimin continues. “I wish you find your way back home… I wish you find your way back to me.”

That one Jungkook could not wish for if he wants to keep his sanity. Wishing for Eunwoo’s return destroyed him the first couple months, and he’s long since let go of that hopeful thinking. He can’t imagine Eunwoo returning despite wanting that so, so bad. Because he’s not… it’s been months from any signage of his presence, of being found, of any indication that he may be out there, somewhere. He needs to get that idea in his head, engrave it and stamp it so he doesn’t stray from the conviction. So for Jimin to feel opposite of him, to wish Taehyung returns home, to come back to him, hurts Jungkook deeply because a part of him feels like he’s betraying Eunwoo for letting go.

Jungkook swallows down a sob at the pain he feels in his heart.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Eunwoo.

Jungkook is fighting his own demons with the guilt overwhelming him.

He’d be so mad. He’s probably disappointed in me. Wherever he is, he’s probably so disappointed. He always is. Why can’t I do things right? Why? Why? Why? This is why he left… this is why he wanted that solo trip…

And he feels a tug, pulling Jungkook from his inner torment almost immediately. He’s still a little dazed and his vision is a little blurry from squeezing them shut so tightly, but he sees a glimmer of Jimin’s crying face. And he’s smiling. Despite the tears. His cheeks are rosy red, his lips are swollen, and he’s smiling.

“Jungkook… thank you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Jimin cries as he leaps forward to embrace him tightly.

It feels like autopilot when Jungkook lifts his arms to wrap around Jimin… he doesn’t even realize it when he has his face buried in Jimin’s hair. But he breathes him in, stabilizes his breath through Jimin’s strawberry shampoo, and calms his heart from the darkness by listening to Jimin’s endless praises for being so compassionate, and kind, and thoughtful.

Jungkook allows himself to drown in his appreciations.

He doesn’t realize just how starved he was for it.

“This is really good,” Jimin compliments as he spoons rice into his seaweed soup. Then he takes a bite of the pork belly and his eyes light up, shining with absolute joy it makes Jungkook warm up. “Oh my gosh, this is really good!” Then he picks up a rolled egg and Jimin moans. “Holy, this is good!”

Jungkook is shying away from the praises and lets his head fall forward, hiding his blush away from Jimin’s preening eyes.

“Jungkook! You’re amazing! Eunwoo is so lucky to be able to have ate all this with you.”

Jungkook sinks at that comment, but he doesn’t dare look up. Rather, he’s spooning a bit of rice and dipping it into the soup before eating it. Now that his mouth is preoccupied, he’s hoping Jimin isn’t expecting a reply for him. How pathetic would seem if he were to reveal the fact that Eunwoo hasn’t actually eaten any of the food that he’s tried to make for him? Extremely pathetic.

“You’re like a chef!”

They continue to eat with Jimin rousing up the conversation in between. And even if Jungkook still barely engages in the talk, he’s listening attentively to every word that leaves Jimin’s mouth. He can at least do that.

By the end of it, he has a list of Jimin’s favorite foods, as well as his dislikes. He’s also given a funny tale of him mixing up seasonings while cooking once before, causing Jimin to dehydrate himself and vow to never cook unsupervised, or with Taehyung ever again. Taehyung, too, is also chaos in the kitchen apparently. Namjoon, as well. So really, the three of them are hopeless in home cooked meals. He’s wondering if the three of them just survived on fast food, cup noodles, and take out all their lives away from home.

At least Namjoon has Seokjin now.

And Jimin has… him?

Jungkook freezes at the idea of cooking for Jimin again; honestly, he didn’t think that far ahead. He just wanted to do this for Jimin because of the meaning behind what today meant for him, but is Jungkook really gonna spend his effort and time, ensuring Jimin eats by cooking him meals?

It’s what Jin Hyung did for me, Jungkook’s mind thinks.

He gazes up to Jimin and frowns when the bowl in front of the smaller man is still pretty full of soup. Despite the praises, and sitting on the table for nearly half an hour, Jimin’s plate with rice and pork belly barely has a dent in it. He’s drunk more water than consume actual solids.

“Eat some more,” Jungkook finds himself saying aloud, words already escaping before he has the thought of thinking them through.

Jimin has pork in his chopsticks, but he’s only surveying the crisp, his attention elsewhere. Jungkook knows he needs to bring him back.

“I’m getting kind of full, though.”

“Just a few more bites?” Jungkook insists, gently pushing the plate of pork toward him. “Or at least finish your soup,” Jungkook offers when he sees the concern shift on Jimin’s face.

Jungkook physically lightens up when Jimin sighs and decides to finish his soup. It takes a while for him to do so, but after several of minutes, Jimin has eaten more rice and his bowl is completely empty. There’s a smile on Jimin’s face, soft and sweet, when Jungkook lifts his head up from the empty dish. He raises his eyebrow in return, wondering why the other looks at peace.

“What?”

“I don’t get you,” Jimin whispers and releases a short, breathy laugh. “You’re so hot and cold, Jungkook. A complete ass one second, and then a total sweetheart the next. It was like that the first time we met, too. Is this just how you are? Or you’re just a really nice person and I’m just really annoying?”

This time Jungkook contemplates his answer before he responds. He’s not sure why he loses his cool so easily with Jimin -he thought he could blame his resemblance to Eunwoo at first, but after realizing just how different the two were, Jungkook thought he could blame it on the fact they’re nothing alike. But the difference comforts him, so that shouldn’t have irritated Jungkook. Yet, it does, but that’s still not enough to blow up on Jimin with every little inconvenience, even if his blows ups never show physically, he does so mentally.

He’s also not too sure why he’s so involved with him beyond that of concern. Sure, they experience the same struggles and pains, but that doesn’t mean he should extend so much of himself in return. Normal is calling him to make sure he’s okay; normal is hanging out once in awhile; normal is talking about their problems when it gets too hard. This, especially for Jungkook, is abnormal.

They’re talking everyday -mostly Jimin, but they do. Abnormal is freaking out when Jimin doesn’t text him for a single day, and shutting and breaking down because of it. Abnormal is rushing to his house in the middle of the night to hold him through his tears. Abnormal is staying the night, sleeping and finding comfort in their intertwined hands. Abnormal is waking up the next day and having the urge to make his breakfast. Abnormal is throwing his late soulmate a birthday dinner. Abnormal is him thinking about cooking for Jimin from here on out. And abnormal is having this small feeling of wanting to do all that for him when he hasn’t done this for Eunwoo.

It’s annoying.

You’re annoying, Jungkook thinks.

“Oh wow,” Jimin laughs with a roll of his eyes, though he doesn’t look annoyed. “Don’t hold back on me now.”

“Wait, what?”

“You just admitted it. You called me annoying,” Jimin explains with a pout.

sh*t. Jungkook didn’t realize he said it aloud.

“You are, though,” Jungkook commits, not necessarily wanting to take it back since it’ll make him seem wishy washy. “But that’s fine,” he finishes off, because although it may be true to him, he doesn’t want Jimin to think it’s a decisive flaw.

“And you’re boring,” Jimin taunts back.

Jungkook shouldn’t feel offended, but he is. “I’m not.”

“But you are, though,” Jimin smiles mischievously. “But that’s fine,” he continues to mock.

Jungkook is mentally breaking down as he eyes Jimin’s playful exterior from across the table. It’s maddening because he has no idea how to react to him -he’s never met anyone like Jimin before. No one even remotely similar. He’s a little bit of all the traits of his hyungs: a ray of sunshine like Hobi, a little deep like Namjoon, attentive like Yoongi, and compassionate and silly like Seokjin. Jungkook knows how to handle each of his hyungs individually, but when all traits are mixed in with whatever teasing and passionate personality Jimin already has, it’s complete, f*cking chaos.

He’s every bit of sassy, easily riling Jungkook up, and then he’s every bit of sweet, calming him down just as quickly.

Jungkook is going mad. He laughs at the absurdity of the situation.

“You’re so annoying!”

Jimin is quick to point a shaking finger in his direction. His eyes are blown out in shake and he’s resembling a gaping fish with the way his opening and closing his mouth, as if taken so aback words refuse to leave his mouth despite wanting to.

“What?” Jungkook asks between chuckles.

“You’re smiling! You’re laughing!”

“You’re so weird. You’ve literally seen me do those before,” Jungkook rolls his eyes, clearly remembering the way Jimin practically shouted at him in the market claiming he never smiles. He does smile -when they’re out with their hyungs.

“Never toward me. Never with me!” Jungkookie, you’re so cute! Your eyes crinkle and shine like a bunny. Oh my gosh!”

That kills his smile instantly.

“Don’t do that,” he reprimands, but Jimin doesn’t let the sudden coldness exuding from Jungkook faze him.

“Do what?”

“Don’t call me cute… or a bunny.”

“Why not?” Jimin frowns. “You are cu-”

“I’m a grown adult, Jimin. So don’t call me cute.”

“And I’m a grown adult as well, but that didn’t stop you from chastising me to leave my own kitchen and just watch TV.”

Jungkook bites down on his tongue -Jimin’s got him there. The blonde, tiny human looks so innocent and pure, there’s no way anyone would believe he actually inherits such a sharp tongue and strong attitude. At a loss for words, and not having enough in him to apologize for that, Jungkook huffs. He huffs, which is so out of character for him because it’s a childish behavior he often sees Jimin do.

Is he rubbing off on him?

“Are you pouting?” Jimin teases with a smirk tugging at the edges of his plush lips. It makes Jungkook uncomfortable because of how comfortable he’s getting with Jimin. He’s letting loose, relaxing, and behaving in a way he hasn’t done so in such a long time. Often times, Jungkook is hyper aware of his actions and thoughts as he tries so hard to be this person that’s well respected.

And now, Jimin is just making him revert back into a fool. A kid. A child whom gets coddled with meaningless praises like being cute, or pulling out a defiant act like huffing.

This isn’t him, yet he’s acting as if it were.

“Shut up,” Jungkook grits out. The frustration is getting to him and he’s finally had enough of it.

And once more, Jimin is utterly unfazed by it. He only thanks Jungkook with a small smile, so sincere and genuine it eases the stress from Jungkook seamlessly, and goes about clearing the table. Despite the tense atmosphere, that apparently only Jungkook can feel because Jimin is acting suspiciously normal, Jungkook rises to assist with the clean up.

They naturally fall into pattern -Jungkook washes (much to Jimin’s complaints), and Jimin dries. The countertop of the table is wiped clean and the chairs pushed in. In a matter of minutes, all tasks have been completed, leaving both Jungkook and Jimin to soak up the awkward and silent air.

“It’s getting late… I should head back home,” Jungkook breaks the heavy silence.

Jimin realizes that it is late as the clock reflected fifteen minutes passed midnight. It’s brief, but Jungkook can see the worry start to contort Jimin’s face. However, before Jungkook could even address his observations, Jimin is already craning his neck at his direction.

“It’s so late, though. I don’t mind you staying over again -I can offer you my bed.”

“Why would I accept that?”

Jimin shrugs. “I’m just offering. I’d feel bad if you were to drive home this late.”

Jungkook knows he should decline; there’s no reason for him to stay. Although he looks to Jimin with impassive eyes and simply nods, taking the offer without any more question. Jimin smiles and heads to his room immediately. Jungkook assumes Jimin is getting the room ready, but the younger decides to situate himself upon the living room sofa, already deciding this is where he’ll sleep.

It doesn’t take long for the smaller man to return with a thick blanket and a couple of pillows in his arms.

“The bed is ready! Here’s some sleeping clothes for you. You’re free to shower if you want.”

“Thanks,” Jungkook mutters, grabbing the sleeping materials from Jimin and setting it on the sofa. He then takes the pajamas in his hand, wondering for a just a second whether these will be able to fit him, and retreats into the bathroom. His shower is quick… and he smells like Jimin… like strawberries. And he’s right. The pajama pants sit right above his ankles and they’re tight right around his hips. But overall, he feels quite comfortable.

When he exits, he realizes he’s forgotten to tell Jimin about his sleeping arrangements. He’s too late when he sees Jimin already laid out on the sofa, lights turned off, and dozing off with an open bottle of banana milk in his hand and his phone out with a picture of Taehyung on the screen in his other. Jungkook sighs and kneels so that he’s at eye level with the snoozing brat. He gently removes the milk, that is still half full, and his phone from his hands and nudges his shoulder, hoping he isn’t too far gone in slumber to wake him.

But he’s a f*cking block. Why is it so hard to wake him up?

Jungkook can feel his frustration rise as he’s completely against taking residency in Jimin’s room. He surely wants to wake the man up, but he’s also not adamant on being rough with Jimin. So he stays in that position for a moment, squatting and looking at Jimin’s sleeping and peaceful face.

Just like last night…

So serene. So calm. So at peace.

Jungkook can feel himself lightening up again. Is it being here? Is it because he’s not sleeping alone anymore?

He shakes his head, because he’s had nights with his hyung.

Is it Jimin?

This man makes his mad like no other and calm like no other. He challenges him without hesitation, questions his thoughts, and listens to him despite he having nothing much to say in return. Jimin makes him feel so much for just being him. He’s stubborn and damn straight annoying, but he’s also kind and considerate. Jungkook can’t really keep up… but he doesn’t want to stop.

He sits and collects his thoughts. Jungkook is playing with the bottle of milk in his hands and contemplate a little bit of what to do with it. It’s been awhile since he’s tasted this drink -he remembers how much he loves it. He gives in… at least Jimin isn’t awake to see the hypocrisy as Jungkook brings the straw toward his lips and sucks.

“Mmmm,” Jungkook moans quietly. This is exactly how he remembers it to be. He finishes the drink in seconds, and discards the now empty bottle into the trash before returning to Jimin’s side. It’s okay to like this drink, Jungkook states in his mind. Jimin is an adult and he likes it, he reasons.

He lays on the floor again, taking the unused pillow to cushion his head as he drapes the rest of the blanket over him.

There’s nothing wrong.

They aren’t sleeping together.

Not even really sleeping next to one another…

It’s what Jungkook convinces himself as he snuggles closer to the edge of the sofa to decrease the distance. It’s what he convinces himself when he dulls away the disappoint on Eunwoo’s face he sees in his mind.

Everything is fine.

“Goodnight, Jimin.”

Just like how texting and calling Jimin isn’t something Jungkook believed to have continued for long, he didn’t anticipate how often he’d come over to Jimin’s. Each day he comes, he feels less guilty, and each night he decides to sleep over, Jungkook feels less numb.

At first, Jungkook just wanted to make sure Jimin was eating.

Then he came over just to make sure Jimin was sleeping.

Now… Jungkook just came over.

He’s gone over so frequently and changed into Jimin’s clothing so often, he has a pile of his own hoodies in Jimin’s dresser. Sometimes he’d catch Jimin wearing them, the other claiming it’d been really cold one night and he liked the feel of how soft and cozy they were. Jungkook was mad at first, scolding Jimin for using his items without permission -he’s always been a little too possessive and selfish with his belongings. But considering Jungkook himself has been constantly wearing Jimin’s stuff, he tempered down and allowed Jimin to do as he pleases.

Sometimes Jimin even wears it out, and Jungkook doesn’t notice until the others point it out.

“Jungkook, isn’t that your jacket?”

Jungkook is too busy playing with his food to really hear him so he just shrugs.

“You let him borrow your clothes?”

That’s when Jungkook starts paying attention. “Hm?” He looks up, and surely enough, Jimin and Namjoon come walking in, the shorter of the two is drowning in one of Jungkook’s hoodie. It’s almost embarrassing, because Jungkook never considered the scenario where Jimin would ever wear his things out. He hasn’t even told his hyungs how he’s gone to Jimin’s place more times than he could count on both his hands and feet combined.

It almost makes him feel defensive as he frowns.

“So what?”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. “It’s just a question, Kook.”

Jimin greets him with a smile, but Jungkook is already a little on edge from Yoongi’s observation he doesn’t even greet him back, nor does he repay the smile. It confuses Jimin, almost catches him off guard as he waits for Jungkook for a bit, but frowns when it’s clear the younger isn’t going to acknowledge him. Thankfully, Jimin doesn’t push it and just sits across from Hoseok, switching up his mood almost instantly when he starts conversing about dance with his hyung.

“So hyung when are you going to take me to your studio?” Jimin beams, the level of his enthusiasm a little too high for Jungkook’s liking.

Hoseok soaks it in, though, matching Jimin’s joy.

“I have time today! Wanna check it out after we eat?”

Jimin is bouncing in excitement now, energy at its peak and it’s bothering Jungkook immensely. He’s watching Jimin with his shining eyes and blinding smile and wonders, is something wrong? He’s never this happy at home… is he faking it? Is he overcompensating and hiding behind some kind of pain? Jungkook likes to think he’s got a grasp over Jimin’s personality and his tendency to rely on overt positivity when things get rough.

So when he smiles so largely in Hoseok’s direction, exuding nothing but absolute, radiating energy, Jungkook is just a little concerned, but he doesn’t ask him up front. Not when Yoongi is already watching him and his interaction with Jimin with curious eyes.

So he pulls out his phone and texts him instead.

Jungkook:

You okay?

Jungkook doesn’t look his way, but he hears the ring of Jimin’s phone, and he feels his eyes on him a second later. At this point, he’s making conversation with Namjoon, who’s dragged him with whatever he and Jin were talking about. He’s not so I’m tuned with the talk considering he’s waiting for Jimin’s reply.

He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket, but as he doesn’t want to seem to eager, or make it obvious that he’s been waiting for the reply, Jungkook waits it out for a minute before pulling out his phone.

Jimin:

Yes? Why are you even texting? I’m literally right here.

Jungkook:

Ok. You just seem a bit weird.

Jimin:

Weird is not saying hi to me like I’m some stranger.

Jungkook deserved that. He knows he’s wrong for that, but he can’t find it in him to apologize, so he doesn’t. He doesn’t text Jimin back, and Jimin continues talking to Hoseok with raging interest. It gets on Jungkook’s nerves because Hoseok is his friend, and when did Jimin get so close to him?

He sticks his tongue through his cheek to redirect his irritation. That doesn’t go amiss by Yoongi.

“I haven’t seen you do that in a long time,” he points out, sipping his beer slowly as he points to the protrusion from Jungkook’s cheeks.

“What do you mean?”

“That,” Yoongi clarifies, pressing his finger up against his cheek now, clearly pointing out his action. “You usually do that when you’re annoyed or frustrated. When Eunwoo said he hated that about you, you completely stopped doing it. I kind of missed seeing it.”

“I didn’t know…”

“No, no you didn’t,” Yoongi sighs. “Anyway, what’s bothering you? Are you and Jimin fighting?”

Jungkook glances toward Jimin briefly. Jimin is smiling, attention completely off of him and focused attentively on Hoseok. No, they weren’t fighting, but Jungkook isn’t sure why he’s feeling a little off seeing him. Everyone is already engaged with their own respective conversations, and the added music in the background makes it hard for them to overhear what he and Yoongi were speaking of, especially when they kept their voices low.

“We’re not.”

“He’s wearing your jacket.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“Is that what’s bothering you? You were always kind of… unwilling to share stuff… did he take it without asking?”

Jungkook shakes his head. He’s not mad anymore -in fact, he’s not even the slightest bit bothered seeing Jimin in his clothes. If it were anything bothering Jungkook, it’s the aloofness of Jimin’s own positivity that’s way beyond his understanding. That, and not knowing whether or not Jimin is still faking it. He’s told Jimin multiple times he doesn’t need to be okay and he doesn’t need to pretend to be okay in front of others. That meant acting way beyond your usual self to ensure that no one sees the broken side of you, which includes hiding behind large smiles and laughs, and overexerting interests at anyone’s regard.

“Then what’s going on?”

“It’s just…” Jungkook stops himself; he can’t admit he’s bothered because of Jimin, it’ll imply he cares that much about the other man. He’s not ready to admit that just yet. “It’s just I’m a little tired…”

By the way Yoongi chews on his bottom lip and the look in his eyes as he scrutinizes Jungkook, the younger can tell he doesn’t quite buy it.

“Are you still having trouble sleeping?” Yoongi asks. And although he’s a bit suspicious of Jungkook’s reasoning, it doesn’t diminish his obvious concern for his dongsaeng.

“Yeah…” Jungkook lies.

He’s actually has been sleeping well. Every time he’s not alone, every single time he goes to Jimin’s place and stays the night, whether he sleeps on the floor or on the sofa, Jungkook knocks out effortlessly. It’s probably why he comes over so often; there’s no trace of Eunwoo in Jimin’s house and the overwhelming emotions that usually keep him up at night don’t follow Jungkook pass Jimin’s door.

“Is it getting better?”

Jungkook still has Jimin in his head when he answers without hesitation, “it is.” He realizes then, that he is getting better. Slowly. Slowly. Jungkook is.

The quick answer brings a smile on Yoongi’s face, and although Jungkook can tell his hyung wants to ask more, he doesn’t. Yoongi is perfectly content to just see Jungkook find a place where he’s not tormenting himself or hiding away. Yoongi is seeing his old Jungkook return, little by little… and that’s enough for him for now.

“Look, we’re gonna head to Namjoon’s studio for a bit. It’s been awhile since we’ve dabbled on some work; I want you to come.”

At the offer, Jungkook sighs loudly and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Hyung-”

“I know you don’t have anything to do after lunch here. It’ll be fun. You don’t have to do anything but watch and give us some pointers… or suggestions, or whatever. f*ck, Jungkook, just for awhile? Please?”

“You know why I can’t,” Jungkook frowns. “It isn’t fair to him.”

“It isn’t fair to you,” Yoongi bites back gently.

Jungkook isn’t sure. It’s even years since he’s done anything music related; he promised Eunwoo he wouldn’t. “I can’t, hyung. Sorry.”

Yoongi sighs, but nods his head in understanding. He knows better than to push Jungkook so he relents. “That’s fine, Kook. Sorry if I sounded pushy; I just want you to be there to hang out and listen or whatever. Namjoon is really good at his work… and it’d be cool for you to listen to what we’ve been making.”

“Ah hyung, I heard a little bit of it,” Jimin jumps in. “It sounds great so far!”

Yoongi is grinning when he focuses his attention on Jimin now, pulling himself away from Jungkook’s curious eyes as they engage in conversation now.

“Hey, not as good as ours though, right?”

What? Jungkook is caught off guard at that little information. When had Jimin and Yoongi worked together? And why hadn’t Jimin mentioned any of that to him?

Jimin throws his head back in laughter, clutching onto his stomach as he’s wheezing out. “Whatever,” he giggles. “I can’t rap for sh*t.”

“Whatever, Jimin!” Namjoon snapped back with a roll of his eyes. “You were good -great, even! You’re just being your usual hard on yourself ass self again.”

“Jiminie, you rapped?”

Jiminie?

Jungkook’s mouth is gaped open as he averts his gaze to Hoseok now. When had they gotten so close where he’s already dubbed Jimin as Jiminie?

“Barely,” Jimin snorts.

“Okay nuh uh, we can go to my studio another day. Today, we’re going to Namjoon-ah’s place and I’m hearing this sh*t,” Hoseok laughs, throwing a thumbs up at Namjoon’s direction for approval. When Namjoon smiles and nods his head, Jimin is pouting and agreeing to come along.

“Oh great,” Jin cheers. “I’ll make dinner, then. Jimin-ah, Hoseok-ah, you guys can still go to dance or whatever while we get ready. And then you guys can come over around 7ish? 8ish?” He asks, gauging the crowd for a reaction on which time is best for everyone.

“At 8, then,” Jin slaps his head cheerily together. “Yoongi-ah, you can come earlier; whenever you’re done filing paperwork here. Jungkook, we’ll hang out again next week?”

Jungkook feels incredibly left out, which is odd considering this isn’t the first time he’s denied Yoongi a musical escape. However, this time it’s different. He’s just found out Jimin’s literally been making music without his knowledge. They’ve been talking for over three months now… he’s been coming over almost three times a week since the first time… and he’s just now finding out Jimin is involved musically with Namjoon and Yoongi?

And they even made a song?

He should have known. Or rather, he shouldn’t have been so shocked after finding out… but Jungkook always thought he knew everything about Jimin.

He knows what he likes to eat now, how to cook his favorite dishes, that he hates doing dishes but he does so anyway because he likes treating his guests politely. He knows that Jimin hates thunderstorms, especially after that one night he stayed over during a rainstorm -he let Jimin hold his hand that night, while he slept on the floor because he didn’t want to join him in bed. He even knows things about his adventures with Taehyung… how they would play games together even though he sucked at it; how they promised to travel the world together; even how he had a crush on him before…

This, though, he didn’t know.

And that really bothers Jungkook. He doesn’t know why, nor does he care to figure out why it bothers him. It just does.

So he didn’t have Eunwoo in mind when he connects eyes with Jimin and then Jin. He foregoes his promise with Eunwoo entirely when he locks his jaw at the offer to hang out next week rather than tonight with them. Because the only thing invading his mind right now, is satiating the frustration he feels over having something of Jimin that he doesn’t know about that everyone else does.

“I’ll go,” he says out loud, catching everyone’s attention. Everyone except Jimin and Namjoon is surprised from his inclusion, especially Yoongi who is looking at him with very wide eyes.

“Oh,” Jin blinks. Once. Twice. And then he shakes his head eagerly, a fond smile growing on his face. Jungkook can even see that little glitter in his eyes. “Great! That’s… yeah… okay, okay, okay,” Jin murmurs as he rises from his seat and starts shimmying out from the booth. “I gotta go get groceries… oh my gosh. Lamb… right lamb. Do you still like lamb, Jungkookie?”

Jungkook drops his jaw from the nickname; he sees Jimin start grinning and he feels a little embarrassment engulf him.

“Hyung,” he whines.

And then his face goes redder, because did he really just whine?

“Oh, right,” Jin laughs. “Sorry, I mean Jungkook-ah. Yes, yes, I’ll make your favorites. You and Joonie’s. And Jimin-ah, something light, yes? How about your favorite soup and I’ll cut you some fruits?”

Jimin nods, body glittering from the mention. Jungkook catches that… Jin knows his favorites, too? Does he also know he has trouble eating sometimes, too?

When did they all get so close?

Jin is already headed out the door and Namjoon just laughs and shakes his head as he starts gathering his and Jin’s belongings. “I’ll see you guys later, then? Hyung, just call me when you’re on your way,” he tells Yoongi before sliding down the booth.

Jimin gets up and hugs him.

“I’ll see you later, yeah? Take care of yourself, Minnie,” Namjoon reminds him. When Jimin nods, Namjoon reaches over to pinch his cheeks which makes him giggle. The act so very cute, it makes Jungkook want to try and feel his cheeks between his fingers.

The traitorous thoughts forces Jungkook to lower his head in his shame.

“Wanna head out, Jiminie?” Hoseok asks and starts to clean his area up. “We can probably stay at the studio for a couple of hours before heading to Namjoon’s.”

Jimin agrees and also starts packing up.

All of a sudden, at the sight of him and Hoseok preparing to leave, Jungkook feels a strong desire to come along. He really, really wants to come, and he really, really doesn’t want to go home right now to wait alone for the hours to go by. He doesn’t really care that he’s since avoided going to Hoseok’s studio for reasons regarding Eunwoo, as well. But honestly, f*ck it. He’s already going to Namjoon’s -he might as well make this post guilt indulgence worth it by going to Hoseok’s.

“Can I join?” Jungkook doesn’t mean to sound so unsure, but his voice is soft and it’s evident his vulnerability is shining through.

He never likes imposing on other people’s plans. He never likes putting himself out there with a chance of getting rejected. He’s not sure when his confidence began faltering, but for a long time he’s been guarded. Even with his hyungs, even if he knows the feeling is stupid because it’s so far from the truth, he can’t help but feel absolutely unwanted. With everyone having their own plans, despite Jin going out of his way to buy groceries in order to make his favorites, despite Yoongi persisting and inviting him earlier… Jungkook feels unwanted.

It hurts. It always hurts when he thinks this way. But time and time again he holds it in, shuns it to the back of his mind and heart and keeps them there.

They don’t really want you there, Jungkook. They don’t want me there, either. You only have me. I’ll stay. I’m with you.

“Of course,” he hears Jimin say, voice light and filled with warmth. “Right, Hobi hyung?” Jungkook feels small as he looks up to Jimin who’s beaming at him with such gentleness. Then Hoseok shifts into his vision as he stands at the edge of the table, smiling so wide it looks as if his cheeks are ready to tear at the seams.

“Of course, Kook-ah. You don’t even have to ask; you’re always, always welcome,” Hoseok assures.

Yoongi slaps his shoulders, and he looks at Jungkook with a look of sympathetic understanding, as if he felt Jungkook’s feelings.

“I’ll handle your bills,” Yoongi reassures. “You guys go and I’ll meet you at Hyung’s later.”

They bid their farewells. Hoseok and Jimin are in front as Jungkook follows at a slow pace behind them. He’s not feeling confident nor is he feeling comfortable. Although they welcomed him, Jungkook still feels as if he’s intruding and just forced himself in their plan. He slows his steps and overthinks, doubts, and hesitates -the feeling familiar to him.

He has time to back out.

He can turn around and leave.

He can make an excuse right now and he’s sure they’ll accept it.

Just then, as Jungkook contemplates turning on his heels, Jimin extends his hand out. He doesn’t turn around to face Jungkook, but instead still looks forward as he’s conversing with Hoseok.

Jungkook simply stares at the hand tailed behind the smaller man, reaching toward Jungkook. He looks at the rings adorning his small fingers, and remembers them naked as they hover over the sofa each time Jimin sleeps in the living room with him and he sleeps on the floor below. He remembers how calming it was to just have someone there -a physical touch to enforce that.

It’s as if Jimin knows. He probably does.

Feelings overwhelm Jungkook -he wants to feel safe and taken care of, without having to ask for it. His mind is toxic right now and he wants to get out, to escape. He tentatively reaches out, not necessarily holding his hand, but embracing two of Jimin’s fingers, his middle and pointer finger.

Jimin curls his fingers around his hand, and with his thumb, run circles just above his knuckle.

He’s immediately filled to the brim with relaxation and a sense of serenity. It’s as if this is all Jungkook needs to remind himself that he’s cared for and that the thoughts in his heads were nonsense. He’s not alone in this -he never was. He has his hyungs… and he has Jimin to pull him out whenever his mind lingers and his thoughts drown him in negativity. He has this: Jimin’s touch, Jin’s compassion, Hoseok’s warmth, Namjoon’s patience, and Yoongi’s wise understanding.

They stay because they care. They’re here because they care.

You’re not unwanted. You’re not unwanted. You’re not. They’ll stay. They’re with me.

He doesn’t realize they reach Hoseok’s car until Jimin lets go, and Jungkook feels empty and cold. Jimin seats himself in the back, and Jungkook is in the front.

Jimin:

I’m not a stranger. I’m not sure what’s happening or what you were feeling earlier… but I’m here if you ever need me.

Jungkook:

I know you’re not. I’m sorry. I’m fine now. Thank you…

Jimin:

I know you don’t really talk about it… but just remember what you told me, okay? I’m the one person you don’t have to pretend to be fine to. So even if you don’t talk to me about it… don’t pretend.

Jungkook:

I won’t.

Jungkook thinks of Jimin’s earlier boisterous happiness and frowns. He’s not sure if that was Jimin or a facade -he thinks by now he could tell the difference, but Jimin can be a phenomenal actor when he wants to be.

Jungkook:

Promise you won’t, too

Promise you won’t pretend, too

Jimin:

I promise, Jungkookie c;

Jungkook rolls his eyes, but he smiles at the little tease. He’s not aware that Jimin sees it from behind, the reflection of Jungkook from the side mirrors clear as day. He’s not aware of how his smile makes Jimin smile the largest today.

Jungkook f*cking misses it. He knew the most prevalent part of refusing to go back to studio sessions with Hoseok is because he’s well aware of not being able to resist participating. He has a passion for dance and is pretty damn good at it, too. So when he sees Hoseok teaching Jimin some steps, and them free styling, and feeling the music without a care in the world, Jungkook wants to get on his feet and join them.

He can’t remember why he’s been holding himself back from his passions. Why did he promise Eunwoo he wouldn’t go back to dancing? What was the reason? All he remembers is promising him, but he promises Eunwoo literally everything that it’s becoming hard to keep track of the reasons. He’s always been a ‘yes man,’ always wanting to please him because he’s afraid he’d be someone he’ll be disappointed in him.

But why would Eunwoo not want him to dance? To sing? To cook for him? Why did Jungkook just stop doing all these things for him?

Because you love him.

“I love him.” Jungkook squeezes his eyes shut. “I loved him.” He shakes his head. “No, no, I still love him.”

But why…

“Jungkookie!”

Again, Jimin pulls him from his thoughts.

Jimin is sweating, blonde hair matted to his glistening forehead, his hoodie discarded to the side so now he’s wearing a plain white tee, and he looks… good. Jungkook gulps as Jimin starts light jogging toward him from across the floor.

“Hobi hyung says you can dance… come on, show me what you got.”

Despite second guessing Eunwoo’s promises, he still tries hard to keep them. He declines Jimin’s encouragement with a shake of his head and a wave of his hands, but of course stubborn Jimin will have none of that. Jimin stands with hands on his hips and a raised eyebrow.

“You don’t wanna dance?”

Oh, Jungkook really wants to, but he’s adamant. He shakes his head no.

“Really? Hobi hyung says it’s been awhile; are you afraid you’d look silly?” Jimin smiles and Jungkook glares at him; he knows what he’s doing. Jimin’s baiting him.

“Just a little bit, Kook,” Hoseok calls from behind. “It’s been years! I missed you!”

Jimin squats to Jungkook and catches his attention. They hold each other’s gaze and Jungkook can feel Jimin trying to read him. He smiles lately before leaning his elbows upon his knees to rest his head on. It makes Jimin’s cheek look extra full, and suddenly that’s all Jungkook can focus on. Jimin is speaking- his lips are moving, but Jungkook doesn’t hear him. Seconds pass, but when Jungkook realizes he’s reached forward to pinch Jimin’s cheeks between his fingers just as Namjoon, the time felt like hours.

“Uh?” Jimin questions, not pulling back from his touch, but not understanding it either. “Did you hear anything I just said?”

Jungkook pulls back and hides… like a child. What is it about Jimin that makes him strip down the character he’s built thus far and revert back to the kid he was? He doesn’t want Jimin to see his glowing face, ashamed by his hypnotic need to squish Jimin’s soft looking cheeks.

He’s had all the time to try while he was sleeping. So why the hell did he feel inclined to do so when Jimin is wide awake as he’s staring directly at him? And with Hoseok in the f*cking room, no less.

“Do you think he saw?” Jungkook wonders quietly.

“Hyung? See what?”

“What I just did,” Jungkook hisses embarrassingly.

“Oh! You mean pinch my cheek?” Jimin giggles. “I don’t think so; why? Are you shy?”

“Shut up, Jimin.”

“There’s nothing to be ashamed about -I know my cheeks are irresistible.”

“Are you always such a tease?” Jungkook groans, finally lifting his face to glare daggers at the rather amused blonde before him.

“You should know this by now,” Jimin winks.

“You’re shameless.”

“You like that about me.”

“I don’t like you.” Jungkook cringes because even saying it sounds so untrue leaving his own mouth. Jimin can tell as well because his smile is getting wider, the glint in his eyes shining brighter. “Stop smiling like that,” Jungkook pleads.

“Then dance with us.”

“No.”

Jimin frowns and groans. The blondie plops to the wooden floor and rolls on his side so that he’s facing Hoseok who’s currently stretching out his limbs at the center of the room.

“He’s so stubborn,” Jimin complains, prolonging his syllables to sound even brattier. “Hobi hyung what do we do?”

Hoseok only laughs as he’s bending over to touch his toes. “He’s always like that. Stubborn as hell.”

“Come on, Jungkookie,” Jimin pleads, rolling on his side once more so that he’s facing Jungkook now. His lips are pillowy, pink lips are pouty, his eyes are glossy, and his curves are so defined laying on his side. It’s making Jungkook feel breathless taking in the sight. “Please, please Jungkookie?”

“Stop calling me that,” Jungkook reprimands.

“Not until you dance with us, Jungkookie.”

“Jimin,” Jungkook says coldly -sternly.

“Jungkookie.”

“You’re acting like a kid!”

“And so what if I am, Jungkookie? All I want is for you to dance with us.”

“No is no, Jimin. Give me a f*cking break!” He’s not yelling, but he’s not at all calm anymore either. If it were anyone else, they’d just stop, understanding not too push Jungkook over the line of his comfort. But of course this is Jimin, and often times, Jimin catapults himself way above the line.

“What’s pulling you back?” Jimin suddenly asks, halting Jungkook’s growing irritation almost immediately. “I saw the way you were watching us, Jungkook. I can see how much you miss it.” There’s not teasing in his tone, no judgement, and no annoyance despite Jungkook’s earlier cussing. Once more, Jimin is just understanding, and kind, and sensible. “Why are you hiding away?”

He knows why, but he can’t explain it, and Jungkook doesn’t want to open up.

It’s f*cking ridiculous.

Jungkook doesn’t answer; despite wanting to feel like he has the best understanding of Jimin and what he’s going through, the younger man still has an issue with opening up. It’s making him uncomfortable how much of himself he’s showing to Jimin… and how much of himself he’s leaving vulnerable because of Jimin. He’s uncomfortable, but so content with Jimin in his life. He’s long accepted he wants him in his life, but is still so hesitate and distrustful of having him be in his mind and thoughts. Jimin didn’t need to know every little thing about him and his reasons for doing things and the promises he’s made… that’s reserved only for Eunwoo.

But even he didn’t know everything about me… Jungkook thinks somberly. Even I don’t know everything about me.

He understands how unfair he’s being. Because lately, he’s taken pride over the fact that he knows so much about Jimin. Yet he can’t meet Jimin halfway when it comes to him?

Jungkook is a f*cking hypocrite.

His heart is constricting and his mind is short circuiting and the guilt is suffocating him.

“Hey, hey,” Jimin hushes. Jungkook’s hand is encompassed by Jimin’s, and he’s not even registering the way he’s standing up now, being led by the smaller man’s motions. Jungkook doesn’t realize the way he’s twirling on his heels and Jimin sways him back and forth, nor does he process the way they’re inching toward the center of the room and the music has changed.

Jungkook is focusing on calming his mind and going along with the motion Jimin is leading. He feels himself slowly releasing the stress, confusion, and anguish. After a few minutes, he feels light and safe, and completely unaware of the way Jimin is looking at him with so much warmth. Neither of them see the way Hoseok is leaning against the mirrored walls, armed crossed, and a fond grin on his face as he takes the two dancing youngins on his studio floor.

“You dance so well, Jungkookie,” he hears Jimin praise.

Jungkook is still a little dazed, but he sucks in the compliment, loving the way it’s heating up his body. He’s not thinking as he slides his hands from Jimin’s hand to place them against his waist, still following along with the other’s footwork. Jimin in turn smiles and runs his hands up to rest along his shoulders.

“I’m sorry for blowing up,” Jungkook whispers, feeling bad for treating Jimin poorly yet again.

“I keep pushing you,” Jimin giggles. “I deserve it most of the times.”

“You don’t,” Jungkook is quick to deny. “I just… f*ck… I can’t talk about it right now. I’m not ready.”

“That’s fine,” Jimin smiles. “But right now, let’s just forget about it. I didn’t peg you to be a slow dancer, Jungkookie.”

“You said you’d stop calling me that if I danced.”

Jimin shrugs mischievously. “I said I’d stop if you danced with us,” he giggles. “You’re just dancing with me.”

He forgets momentarily that Hoseok is still in the room. Once he sees his hyung in the reflection of the mirror, Jungkook is blushing hard and pulling away from Jimin so quick he nearly trips on his own feet.

“Hyung!” He calls out, as if the sudden attention would divert him from processing what just happened between he and Jimin. But judging by the way Hoseok is smirking, he knows that Hoseok has a whole lot of material to tease him with.

“Oh, don’t let me interrupt,” Hoseok laughs. “Continue.”

Jungkook is at a loss of words, malfunctioning from the events: he just danced… he just danced with Jimin. What sorcery… he thinks as he turns to look at Jimin.

“No, we’re okay,” Jimin smiles, waving his head. “Let’s do a little freestyle. Now that Jungkook is up and warmed up, let’s see if he’s still got it.”

“I-” Jungkook starts, tongue ready to reject, but Jimin is starting at him with so much anticipation and excitement. He really wants to see Jungkook dance, is practically emitting such happiness at their earlier exchange.

He likes that smile. He likes the freeing feeling he had as he was dancing with him. He misses it. He misses it so much.

f*ck it.

“I still got it. Play my song, hyung!”

Hoseok jumps in joy as he’s sprinting toward the boom box, pulling out a CD mix Jungkook had constructed so many years ago. He’s kept it just in case, hoping one day he’d have Jungkook back in his studio, dancing away like they used to.

The room is engulfed with the familiar music and Hoseok is in near tears as he watches Jungkook laugh and smile, performing for Jimin as if it were his best performance yet. It’s been so long -so f*cking long since he’s last seen Jungkook have this much fun, doing what he used to love, and with people that only cares for his wellbeing.

When Jungkook is done and Jimin is clapping and cheering for him in such a dramatic way, Hoseok sees it. There’s a look in Jungkook’s eyes he’s never quite seen before. He looks blissfully happy and immensely fond as he bows playfully toward Jimin, smiling large with his nose scrunch and bunny teethe. It’s the most he’s seen Jungkook that happy in a long time as well.

This is his Jungkookie.

Even if it’s just for a moment, the old Jungkook is back.

Chapter 3: Break Down

Chapter Text

The three of them are exhausted, drowning in their own sweat as they lay upon the cool wooden floor to catch their breaths. It’s the most Jungkook’s ever exerted that much energy in awhile -it’s the first time he’s even danced in years. The energy coursing throughout his veins is pumping up his adrenaline and it’s making Jungkook feel so, so good.

Jungkook shifts his head so that he’s looking at the mirror now, and he’s granted with a full view of Jimin, smiling and laughing as he’s praising both he and Hoseok of their skills.

“That was so much fun!” he exclaims happily. “Tae Tae and I would always try to go out dancing… so it feels so good to be able to do this again.”

“Jiminie…” Hoseok smiles sadly and reaches out to intertwine his hand with Jimin’s for comfort. “You can come to the studio whenever you want,” he offers. “You’re f*cking talented!”

And it’s no exaggeration. Jimin is a really, really good dancer. It took Jungkook by surprise when he and Hoseok began free-styling. All three of their styles were different; where Jungkook is all hard movements and strong, Hoseok is fluid and purposeful, and Jimin is completely graceful. His body moves like water… like air.

It’s like he was born to dance.

“Did you study?” Hoseok wonders.

Jimin perks up at the question and he rolls on his side, which makes Jungkook frown because it cuts off his view of Jimin’s expressive side profile in the mirror. It forces Jungkook to roll on his side as well, just so he’s facing Jimin head on.

He does, not necessarily thinking too much of the action. He just wants to give his attention to the speaker.

“I did, actually! I’m more of a contemporary dancer.”

This interests both of them as they’re now sprung on their elbows, putting all their focus on Jimin and this new information. Jungkook has always wanted to study dance when he was younger -in fact, his dream had always been to pursue music. Unfortunately, things change when you grow up.

“How was that?” Hoseok asks curiously; he’s gleaming with enthusiasm.

“It was great! Graduated top of my class, actually!”

“Can we see you perform something?”

Jungkook is glad the question is brought up by Hoseok, because although he really wanted to see what Jimin could do, he’s too timid to ask. It appears Jimin is also shy by the way he nibbles on his lips uncertainty. They both catch the hesitance, and this time, Jungkook is quick to assure Jimin that it’s okay if he doesn’t want to. Jimin smiles to him warmly, but he shakes his head.

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s just been awhile… and the last dance I actually performed is my own piece. I performed it a couple of months back for Taehyugie… No one really saw it except Namjoon and his parents.”

Jungkook aches at the haunting look behind Jimin’s ghost of a smile.

He really loves him, Jungkook thinks. He’s been in Jimin’s house so often he knows every lingering presence of Taehyung in it -from the games Jimin sucks at, but is in his home for whenever Taehyung comes over, to the picture frames filled with their adventures, to the clothes he sees that are never touched within his dresser (they’re too big for Jimin to wear, and they certainly weren’t Jungkook’s). Jungkook sees the love in Jimin’s house, sees the love in his eyes when he glances through his camera gallery, and hears it in his tone whenever Jimin talks to Jungkook about he and Taehyung. Their lives are so intertwined with one another that he’s mourning for Taehyung with Jimin.

Because there’s just so much love… he can’t believe Jimin was stripped from that.

But Jungkook also feels a tinge of jealousy when he thinks about their love. He’s not sure why that is, but he tries not too think too hard about it.

“You don’t have to,” Jungkook assures. Even if he’s eager to see Jimin perform, he’s more worried that it’ll cause the smaller man to break down from the resurgence of emotions he’ll be sure to feel afterwards. He’s seen Jimin cry enough times, and it’s fair to say, though he’ll never admit it to the smaller man, that Jungkook absolutely hates seeing him like that.

It’s only been several times since the last time Jimin broke down in the middle of the night. He hears him in the peak of night sometimes as he takes residence on Jimin’s sofa. At first, Jungkook usually stays in place and hopes his cries muffle down and he returns to sleep. Most times Jimin would naturally find sleep after a few tears. However, one night it never stopped. Jungkook found himself creeping into his bedroom, door left ajar because Jimin is afraid of feeling confined, and sees the smaller man curled up in his sheets, eyes shut and crying.

It baffled Jungkook then, and he felt like sh*t for not having checked up on him the last few times he’s heard him. Because Jimin was crying in his sleep.

The pain Jimin feels is still so hurtful, he feels it in his slumber. The sight tore at Jungkook’s heart, because this was a type of torture even he hasn’t felt. Sure, he has trouble sleeping at times, but he’s never hurt while he’s sleeping.

Jungkook could only imagine what Jimin’s dreaming about. Is he replaying the news in his head? Is he seeing Taehyung’s desperate face? Is he still feeling helpless in a dream world where anything is possible?

It’s the first time he steps in Jimin’s room. Quiet and tentative. He pushes the door fully open and tracks his way to Jimin’s sleeping body, glancing no where else but at him. He sits at the edge of the bed, dipping the sheets and mattress from the added weight, and pushes away the hair that falls on Jimin’s face. His cheeks are moist, soaking in all the sadness Jimin feels.

He’s hesitant, but Jungkook presses his thumb against his skin, swiping away the fallen tears. He then presses the pad of his finger along the skin between his brows, and relaxes the tension there. It helps; Jimin is no longer frowning, but sighing from content. He snuggles closer into his sheets and stops whimpering all together.

That’s when Jungkook started staying overnight more than once a week, upping it to three times a week. He wanted to be there for Jimin when the other couldn’t find peace; because unbeknownst to Jimin, and maybe to himself sometimes, the blonde hyung managed to give him peace in return.

So when Jimin offered to dance a piece that held such strong resonance with his beloved Taehyung, Jungkook is all too worried for the aftermath. But, Jimin, as usual appears strong and happy, smiling in Jungkook’s direction with assurance as if he’d be the one affected after all of this. But Jungkook falters, because recently each time Jimin looks at him with those eyes and smile, Jungkook can’t seem to really put up much of a fight against him.

“Are you sure, Minnie?”

Minnie?

Jungkook is a little taken aback by the little nickname. When had he- Why had he-? Jimin is equally shocked, but the expression on his face softens, stating that he doesn’t mind and actually finds it endearing. Jungkook had always failed to address Jimin appropriately, only having called him ‘hyung’ once in awhile. But this is the first time he’s ever called Jimin in any other regard.

Instead of answering, Jimin springs to his feet and makes his way to the radio to plug in his phone through the aux. At this point, both he and Hoseok are lifted from their backs, and sitting up as they lean against the mirrors.

Music fills the room, chimes and bells… soft and enchanting. Jimin steps to the center with feather like steps, breathes in and removes his shoes before flicking it to the side. Then when the music fades and picks back up, Jimin starts moving.

Calm. Sad. Ethereal.

Jimin is absolutely captivating.

The music and visual gives Jungkook goosebumps. Jimin is flying in the air, displaying wondrous and impressive skill and power. He leaps high, and lands softly, not but a sound that make him seem ghostly. Like a beautiful haunting. Every movement is with purpose and grace, every point of the toe, every wave of his arm, and every flick of his wrist. Jimin’s expressions are filled with longing, a bit of acceptance, but a hope to come back.

All for Taehyung.

This is all for Taehyung.

I need you. I need you. It repeats in the music; Jungkook wonders if that’s Jimin’s voice, too. Soft and high -unique. If it is Jimin, then Jungkook is shell shocked, because not only can Jimin perform so jaw droppingly amazing, his voice is equally enamoring.

All Jungkook can do is watch and gape. He’s mystified with how Jimin hits all his moves perfectly in sync with the sound of the bells, and how he’s fluid and flying at every crescendo, and how he descends and wraps his body along the floor at the fading of sound.

Jimin is amazing, Jungkook admits. Not with just how beautiful and eye grabbing he is when he dances, but with just the way he evokes emotion, how he expresses himself, and how utterly strong he is. Jimin is phenomenal and inspiring and gorgeous and…

f*ck…

When did Jungkook start crying?

Hoseok is slightly hunched over, so he’s not in his peripherals, and Jimin is too in tune with his own performance they both don’t notice how Jungkook is not hiding behind his hands, brushing against his tears.

He’s hit with a ton of overwhelming emotions as he sinks in the motion presented to him. Jimin, despite crying in the middle of the night, is unbelievably strong. He hasn’t let go of his passions and instead embraces it. The small man tries not to shun himself away, but allows people to care for him. Jimin, time and time again, shows that it’s okay to not be okay… but proves that by not being okay, he can still find happiness and warmth.

He’s everything Jungkook is not. He’s everything Jungkook stripped away. And he’s everything Jungkook misses. For so long, Jungkook thinks he’s been spending the first six months mourning and losing himself to the brink of numbness. However, in the last four months he’s gotten to know Jimin, Jungkook realizes he’s no where near losing himself, he’s finding himself.

He remembers how much he likes cooking when he cooked for Jimin.

He remembers how he enjoys being coddled and praised when Jimin held his hand in his sleep and when he complimented his dancing and dishes.

He remembers how happy he is being with his hyungs, hanging out, acting stupid…

And now, Jimin has done nothing but awaken his passion for dance and music and art.

It’s no wonder Jungkook finds solace with Jimin near; it’s because he feels familiar and inviting -he feels like home.

Upon Jungkook’s realization of ‘home’, the music stops and Jimin is breathless as he’s looking to both Jungkook and Hoseok with a tired, but serene grin on his bubbly face. His smile is so warm and comforting… Jungkook takes a minute to just take it all in, unaware that he’s staring. Oddly enough, though, he doesn’t blush or turn away quickly when both Jimin and Hoseok point it out. Jungkook only maintains the eye contact, doe eyes meeting curious ones.

He lets his mind wander in uncharted territory.

Can I make him as happy as he makes me? Jungkook’s eyes then linger to his lips… Does it feel as soft as it looks? The thoughts don’t startle Jungkook, but he does feel a little awkward having the intimacy play out in his mind as if he’s silently overstepping Jimin’s trust. However, it doesn’t even register that he’s thinking that way until he sees Jimin’s mouth move, breaking him from his thoughts.

“Koo?” Jimin calls out cutely.

That makes Jungkook blush. Koo? Just earlier he’s thinking of kissing him, but a simple nickname makes the blood in him go hot.

“M-Minnie?” Jungkook panics slightly and he can see Hoseok snicker from the side of him. Jungkook reins in the urge to punch his arm so Hoseok could quit it.

Jimin ducks away, shy, and starts fiddling away at his fingers. Jungkook is confused by the action, turning dumbly to Hoseok for answers, but he’s no help as he’s only looking at Jimin with fondness. The image of Hoseok all mushy with his attention on Jimin slightly grates on Jungkook’s nerve, causing him to grit his teeth and huff out a breath.

But he’s lost not understanding whether he missed something due to his lack of awareness when he took precedence at staring at Jimin’s faced instead of listening to his moving lips.

“Did I miss something?” he wondered aloud.

Jimin deflates just a little, and his pout is evident despite the falling hair from his head. It’s a sight that guts at Jungkook and he’s getting timid wondering if he’d done something offensive. Hoseok is quick to diffuse the dampening tension with his blistering laugh.

“He asked what you thought of it,” he explains cheerily.

“O-oh,” Jungkook stutters, granting Jimin once again with his full attention, but sulking when he finds Jimin is still glancing toward the ground. Unconfident and unsure. That’s how Jimin looks like and Jungkook doesn’t like it one bit.

“It was amazing! Really beautiful,” Jungkook offers a small smile. “You’re really, really beautiful, Jimin.”

It took awhile before Jungkook understood what he just said after Jimin’s face literally blooms into a vivid crimson. Once again, he’s hiding, but this time behind his hands. It does poor work if Jimin didn’t want himself to be seen, because it’s still quite obvious that Jimin is smiling wide, crescent eyes making another appearance.

Jungkook wants to take it back; he feels a little exposed and embarrassed at having such a compliment leave his mouth, but he couldn’t, not when Jimin is preening at the praise. It also didn’t feel right to backtrack and further explain his words, because it’s really simple. It’s what Jungkook truly sees in Jimin: beauty -in his dance, in his voice, in his smile, and his laughs.

So he doesn’t. He lets Jimin bask in being called beautiful, and Jungkook in turn, feels radiant knowing he’s the cause of the blush that creeps on the blonde’s neck.

“So how long have you been dancing?” Hoseok asks as they drive toward Jin’s home.

“I’d say about a decade? I discovered dance around my early teens -just messing around and playing. And then I realized I was pretty good at it and went along with it. So I learned different styles, danced with friends, and eventually got into Busan high school of Arts then to Korean School of Art here in Seoul when I transferred over. That’s where Taehyung and I started becoming really inseparable,” Jimin muses softly. “I fell in love with contemporary, though. The moves are intricate and purposeful; there’s a lot of stories that can be told through your body and I… I don’t know? Fell in love with that concept?”

“That’s just so awesome,” Hoseok voices out, and although Jungkook is silent, he thinks the same.

“Did… uh-” Jungkook halts himself, unsure how to go about his questions. He’s never once thought or questioned his decisions before, but now, f*ck everything is turning at one eighty and he’s struggling to keep up. However, he’s already confirmed that with Jimin he can feel safe; he can ask these questions and not feel judged. “How did you… stay?”

Jungkook bites his tongue when the words leave his mouth. Silence befalls the car for a brief moment, but he feels Jimin shift in the back seat before he can see a pop of white cheek pressed up against the side of his head rest. Jimin peers over with a tilt of his head -he’s close, too close when Jungkook turns his neck to face him properly.

“Stay?” Jimin repeats.

Jungkook nibbles on his bottom lip before continuing. “I mean in dance,” he adds. “It’s such an unsustainable career choice… because it’s more of a hobby and… aren’t you afraid it won’t be enough?”

That it won’t make you be enough, Jungkook thinks to himself.

Jimin purses his lips and scrunches his eyebrows.

“I guess, yeah?” Jimin answers nonchalantly, pulling back to properly sit back in his seat. “But that’s the thing -dancing is my hobby and my passion -I don’t necessarily have to imagine making it into a career so why think about it like that; it’s less worrying… and less needlessly scaring myself of it not being enough in terms of my livelihood. It just so happens that it can be, and it is. But,” Jimin proclaims loudly, “That doesn’t mean it isn’t enough.”

Jungkook can see in the side mirror as Jimin lays his head against his window, eyes closed and smiling.

“When I dance, I’m free and that it’s enough for me to feel happy. Take that away and I’m left passionless. I don’t dance to make a living; I dance because it makes me feel alive. Isn’t it the same for you, Hobi hyung?” Jimin redirects the conversation to include the actual dancer with a profound career for it.

Hoseok snorts playfully. “Nah,” he lies. “I’m all about the money.”

Jimin and Jungkook join in on the laughter, but before it all dies down, Hoseok is agreeing with Jimin. While talk is still fresh, Hoseok takes the opportunity to get Jungkook’s mind working. He’s already amazed that the younger boy is slowly opening up, asking questions about things that he used to love doing, and is willing to converse. Hoseok wants to encourage that fully.

“What about you, Kook-ah? What do you think about dancing?”

“Why do you dance?” Jimin corrects from the back. “You dance just as beautifully, Koo. How does it make you feel?”

Jungkook ponders the question for a bit; although he feels put on the spot, something he hates being in, he doesn’t at all feel as if he’s being interrogated -like the words he’ll say will be listened to and understood. It makes him feel light and airy.

Though he’s still a little bit worried. Despite knowing he won’t be judged within the safety of Hoseok’s presence and Jimin’s acceptance, somehow, he’s still a little on edge of how they will perceive his thoughts. Jungkook, for the most part rarely cares of what others thought of him. He wears what he wants, eat what he wants, and says his thoughts. Over the years, though, he’s learned that situations don’t take too kindly on individualistic expressions.

Especially with his late relationship. Appearance and status. Appearance and worth. Speak less, observe more, judge and compliment accordingly. Jungkook isn’t keen on following that lifestyle, but he had to to make sure they work; he cared for his relationship.

He still doesn’t care much for the thoughts of people he doesn’t hold close to him. And for awhile, he didn’t care for his hyung’s thoughts as well. Whenever they voiced their concerns over him, why he’s been so distant and detached, and especially during the first several months of his mourning… Jungkook seems to have pushed everyone aside in favor of making sure that he’s put together. And Jungkook feels sick to his stomach realizing that he just didn’t care enough to remedy the strained bonds.

It hadn’t even been in his mind to care about what his hyungs thought and felt.

But now he’s slowly starting to care again with those he chooses to surround himself with. It took awhile, but he’s here. He can open up; it’s safe to do so. Therefore, Hoseok and Jimin’s thoughts on him are grand. Especially Jimin’s because of the sole fact he’s so new in his life. Hoseok has been there for Jungkook through it all.

Jimin… Jimin is someone Jungkook is afraid of scaring away. He doesn’t want this man whom he suddenly recognizes as a beautiful person to feel disappointment. They haven’t started off great, but he’s getting better -they’re getting better. Jungkook can’t help but want Jimin to see him in a better light -wants him to see him at his best despite knowing that at times, he’s very much the opposite.

And Jimin had seen that side of him multiple times.

So why is it making Jungkook so nervous now? He’s always been honest with Jimin; although a man of a few words, he never feared telling Jimin like it is. But opening up was a whole other experience he rarely partakes in. Not often with his hyungs… and rarely with Jimin.

“Koo,” Jimin sweetly encourages. “Don’t think when you answer this question, okay? Just let your heart speak for itself…”

Jungkook holds his shaking hand and closes his eyes. He lets Jimin’s voice calm him as it usually does if it’s not making him tear his hair out.

“Do you love dancing?”

“Yes.”

Jungkook opens his eyes and looks to Hoseok who’s already smiling happily at him. Something in Jungkook’s heart squeezes, as if reminding him that he’s okay and to just breathe. He does -inhaling for five seconds and releases for seven.

He’s okay.

“How do you feel?”

“Light.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Yes.”

“Did you have fun today?”

“I did.”

“Would you like to dance with me again?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s settled. Whenever we have time, let’s go to hyung’s studio and dance, Koo.” He can’t see him, but he can hear the smile on his face glimmering with gorgeous glitters of joy. Jungkook isn’t even a little bit bashful or shocked at the sudden proposal, but he’s so featherlike in his mind, he doesn’t mind it.

It’s the truth. He didn’t overthink just as Jimin wanted. He let his heart answer for him, plain and simple.

Having Jimin to twirl and spin and laugh as they danced just an hour ago felt good. There’s no reason to not pursue that happiness or rekindle the love he has for dancing. There’s no reason to pull back.

It’s that easy.

“Sure, Jimin.”

“I like it when you call me Minnie,” Jimin complains. It’s endearing.

“Of course you would, shorty.”

“That’s not- how? I’m not even that short!”

“Doesn’t make you any taller than me… which gives me the right to call you short, Minnie.”

“f*ck you, Jeon. Now it doesn’t have the same meaning!”

“How about tiny, then? How does that sou-”

Before Jungkook could even finish his sentence, Jungkook lunges slightly forward as a result to the rapid force he feels from the bottom section of his seat. He’s forgotten momentarily from the gracefulness he’s bore witness from Jimin recently… that Jimin can be so immature. This time, though, he’s not even remotely annoyed. Instead, Jungkook leans forward and laughs when he hears Jimin call him a brat. He laughs even more when Jimin is trying to reach over to snatch his hair to fight and Hoseok is trying desperately to calm Jimin down so he can drive them all to Jin’s in one piece.

“Is he usually this annoying?” Jimin pouts, resigning back into his seat when Hoseok makes an accidental swerve from the chaos.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen him like this,” Hoseok answers honestly.

“He’s always like this with me -you’re lucky!”

Hoseok only chuckles, holding his tongue to say otherwise. Jimin doesn’t know how badly they’ve been wanting Jungkook to behave this way with them in a long while. Jimin doesn’t know how lucky he is having Jungkook act the way he does with him.

It makes Hoseok a little suspicious, being there witnessing the interaction. Jungkook is treating Jimin differently and he doesn’t think it’s only because of their shared experience. There is something else. There’s a twinkle in Jungkook’s eyes when he’s interacting with Jimin and only him. Something he hasn’t seen in anyone else.

Hoseok tries not to overanalyze, considering how closed off Jungkook could get when you start invading his space unwarranted, but he’ll keep check. He likes Jimin. And he likes -very much- how he’s slowly bringing forth the Jungkook of his memories.

“Okay, kids,” Hoseok calls out as he drives into Jin’s driveway and right next to Yoongi’s parked car. “We’re here!”

It shouldn’t have affected Jungkook as much as it did; he knows it’s a joke and Hoseok didn’t really mean to call him a kid. However, the word shut a few things down for Jungkook and he remains in his seat even if Hoseok is already out and slams his door from his side. Jimin stays back, and Jungkook is aware of his presence enough to register that he isn’t even moving.

“Something happened,” Jimin whispers.

Jungkook doesn’t respond, but he shivers slightly when he feels Jimin’s palm curve around his shoulder comfortingly from the back.

“Hey, hey, I’m here,” he whispers. “Come back. We’re safe here,” Jimin reminds.

And Jungkook breathes.

Yes, he’s safe. Hoseok means no harm and Jimin is nothing short of a warm blanket, protecting him in his own ways.

He sees Jimin offer his hand, resting it against the cushion between the front seats. Jungkook is tentative to hold it, but he does so slowly, threading his fingers between Jimin’s and lays his hand there. It’s Jimin who starts to curl his fingers in and start to thumb against his skin in soothing circles.

Jungkook glances up to see Hoseok mid way up the stairs, a little concerned on why he nor Jimin have left the car yet. Upon being looked at, Jungkook shifts his interlaced hands further down to hide it from view, a little shy to explain his need for hand holding. In hopes of getting Hoseok to not worry, he grins and waves his free hand up to usher him forward.

Hoseok tilts his head in confusion for a few seconds, but nodding his head afterwards. When he turns on his heels and knocks on the door, Jungkook lets out a breath.

“Are you alright?” Jimin asks carefully.

Jungkook squeezes their hands and sighs.

“I’m okay… thank you.”

“There’s no rush, you know? Do you want some time before heading up?”

Jungkook shakes his head and starts to gather his things; Jimin thinks it’s a cue to start leaving and makes an attempt to release his hand, but as he does so, Jungkook only tightens his hold. Jungkook doesn’t make eye contact with Jimin even if he feels the other’s stare burn through the back of his head. There’s no need to acknowledge the action; Jungkook just really likes the feel of their hands together.

They only separate when they start to descend outside the car, and it confuses Jungkook how much he feels like he doesn’t want to let go. Yet he doesn’t make an attempt to reach for him again now that they were outside and ready to enter Jin’s home. His fingers are itching to reach for him, to link their hands together, pull him in close, and stay that way.

The thought doesn’t linger for too long when his attention is brought back from the knocks on the door for Jimin and the sudden appearance of Jin’s goofy grin.

“Why’d you take so long?” he wonders, but doesn’t expect an answer because he’s already ushering them in and sprinting toward the kitchen. “The others are at the dining table. I’ll be out soon!”

“Do you need any help bringing stuff out?” Jimin offers.

“That’ll be great actually!” Jin yells back, making Jimin giggle. Jimin parts from Jungkook and the younger strolls through the small hallway into the next room. He already sees everyone in their seats, conversing animatedly until Jungkook makes his appearance and lingers by Yoongi. He notices three empty seats. One empty seat on either side of Namjoon, and another by Yoongi. Yoongi is sandwiched by the empty seats, but it isn’t how Jungkook likes it to be.

He doesn’t think when he sits on the empty seat between Namjoon and Yoongi and frowns. Jungkook nudges Yoongi to move over a seat.

“Huh, why?” Yoongi asks quietly, matching the tone Jungkook is using.

“So I can sit there,” Jungkook answers, pointing to Yoongi’s seat.

“What difference does that make?”

“So Jimin hyung can sit next to Namjoon hyung.”

“There’s literally another empty chair next to him,” Yoongi rolls his eyes, but is intrigued to hear more from Jungkook. He hasn’t heard him pout and complain in awhile -he misses it.

“No,” Jungkook insists. “Jin hyung is sitting there.”

“Then why can’t he sit where you’re sitting?”

“I-” Jungkook can’t refute that, because it’s true. If Jungkook just wanted to ensure that Jimin sat next to Namjoon, then he could’ve just sat on the other side of Yoongi. He assumed it’d be a fool proof defense asking Yoongi to move, but of course this hyung would question his flawed logic. So there’s only one other method, Jungkook could try:

“Hyung…” Jungkook whisper pouts, lips jutting out and shining his doe eyes at the older one. Jungkook remembers how this look always seemed to get him what he wanted back then whenever it involved his hyungs; he wonders if it’s still effective.

He doesn’t even have time to feel shame or embarrassed because Yoongi merely grunts and moves one seat over so Jungkook can take residence in the now vacant chair.

“You know, you could just say you wanted to sit next to Jimin…” Yoongi teased, sighing as he’s playing with the ends of his napkin.

That embarrasses Jungkook. Was he that noticeable?

“It’s not like that,” Jungkook lies. “It’s just… other than Namjoonie hyung, he’s closest to me. I just wanted to make sure he’s comfortable.”

“Since when do you want him to feel comfortable? You’ve always been bickering with each other. Besides, I’d say we’re all pretty close to him now. We do make music together.”

Jungkook sighs and nudges Yoongi’s side. “You know we’ve gotten closer.” But Jungkook still feels a little on edge being made aware of the fact that he hadn’t known Jimin enough to realize he’s been meeting up with Yoongi for artistic reasonings. He still doesn’t understand why Jimin hasn’t mentioned it to him once yet -not that he’s obligated to know.

“Yeah… enough to sleepover, right? Namjoon-ah mentioned it to me once,” Yoongi explained when Jungkook looked to him with blown eyes. “I’m not judging,” Yoongi is quick to assure. “Just didn’t expect that from you, but I guess it makes sense. Jimin just has that… aura, I guess? One that makes you feel good about yourself. And I think I can see you do the same for him.”

Hearing that makes Jungkook feel calm -to have someone outside looking in recognize that maybe Jimin felt the same peacefulness that Jungkook is able to feel with him. But had they been that obvious? Jungkook would often shy away or stay silent whenever they all hung out together, despite the small banters they couldn’t stray away from. And Jungkook staying at Jimin’s isn’t necessarily a secret, but he never felt inclined to share it. A little part of him wanted it only to be just between them…

But with Jimin, he doesn’t need to be so closed off. It’s okay to be open with things.

“He makes me feel… good,” Jungkook admits. Little by little -it’s okay to talk about things. Especially with the people that cares for him, and he cares for in return.

“And that’s good.” Yoongi reaches over to squeeze his shoulder. “Right?”

They share a moment of silent understanding when they make eye contact with one another. Yoongi has always been the most perceptive of the bunch, never needing to outright say what he means, but able to convey them with simple words and expressions.

He knows what Yoongi is implying. That’s it’s okay to let someone else in his life. That it’s okay to think of someone else. He still feels a little off, but Jungkook knows he’s not too keen on letting this comfort go just yet.

“Right,” Jungkook states, but his heart tightens at the verbal affirmation. Guilt is drying his throat, and he tries hard to push away the memories and promises that’s flooding his mind. He’s drowning in his thoughts of whether this is right or wrong. Yoongi hums, tightening his hold on his shoulder because he can tell that Jungkook is having his own turmoil.

“Don’t overthink it, Kook. Just let this run its course… at your own pace.”

At this point, Jimin and Jin is hustling inside the dining room with entrees in their hands. Jungkook stares at Jimin once more, assessing the smile on his face, the chub of his cheeks, the happiness in his eyes, and the song in his voice as he greets everyone one by one. And it hits him once again, the same as the first, but with more intensity.

It all looks so right, having Jimin in his circle.

He places the dish on the table, and briefly hugs Hoseok as if he hadn’t been the one to drop him off; he laughs with Jin when he almost drops his dish onto the floor, he rounds the table and pinches Yoongi’s cheek (which startles Jungkook tremendously because when does Yoongi ever let anyone do that to him), and hugs Namjoon before plopping down onto the seat between him and Namjoon. He’s animated when he’s talking to his hyungs… making them laugh and blush with his charm as he helps everyone get their food.

Jungkook never had this.

He never had dinner with his hyungs like this before… with someone new in his little family of friends. He never had a moment of just fun, laughing and roasting each other as they share drinks and stories. Jungkook likes this a lot. Why haven’t he had this before?

Jungkook frowns. He knows why…

The difference is Jimin makes an effort. Jimin is liked within his hyungs. Jimin is warmth incarnate. Jimin’s so different -completely opposite to him.

Why did he not like his hyungs? Why did his hyungs not like him? Why did he convince him they’re no good for him? Why did Jungkook let him be that way? Why didn’t he argue back? Why didn’t he defend his hyungs? Why were they like that? Why was he like that?

Once again, Jungkook’s heart constricts in a painful way, stifling his breath until he’s starting to feel lightheaded. He tries to clench onto the sides of his jeans to redirect the feeling.

He shouldn’t think of him that way. It wasn’t right. It’s not right. He doesn’t deserve it. He taught him how to live… taught him how to be better… taught Jungkook everything he knows.

So why is he regretting it? Why can he only question them now? What s wrong with him?

He loves him. He loves him. He loves him, right?

But then why was it that when Jimin walked into the room just now, he had the urge to relieve him of his tasks so he can sit and relax? Why did it hurt a little when he saw just how close he and Yoongi were? Why’d he want to pull him away and place kisses against his cheek to ensure just who it was that Jimin is really closest to?

Why did he want all of this? For awhile now, probably… and still try to convince himself that he’s still in love with with someone else?

His stomach flips and his mind is short-circuiting. There’s too much emotions to try and control…

It’s then that he feels him; Jimin slips his hand under the table to caress his. The sensation pulls him yet again from his torturous mind -the others haven’t noticed his brief episode when he looks around the still bright conversation going back and forth between his hyungs. None are looking at him; they haven’t realized the trauma he’s having.

But Jimin does. Maybe Yoongi would have, too, if not for talking to Hoseok about his dancing.

Like always when they link hands, Jimin uses his thumb to apply pressure against his skin in small circles. It releases the tension and worry that’s invading his mind, and it helps Jungkook find his breath. Overall, it makes Jungkook feel safe.

When Jungkook looks up, he realizes Jimin isn’t even facing him; he’s talking to Namjoon. The lack of attention saddens Jungkook just a bit, but he’s more so relieved to deduce that Jimin isn’t able to sense him even in his distractions. It’s then that Jin notices Jungkook and calls for his attention.

“Are you alright, Jungkookie? You haven’t touched your food.”

At the sudden call, Jungkook squeezes Jimin’s hands and bounces in his seat. He doesn’t let Jimin go, though, only threads his fingers tighter in his hold and pulls himself slightly closer to his blonde hyung. Jimin is looking at him now, never ceasing the small circles he’s applying on their touch.

Jungkook shakes his head and smiles, first to Jimin and then Jin.

“I’m alright,” he assures, picking up his spoon and starts dipping it into the soup.

With Jimin near, he feels that finally everything is alright. Everything can be alright so long as he still has him to hold on to.

Dinner continues, and despite it being hard to eat with just one available hand (more so for Jimin because he isn’t left handed), neither Jimin nor Jungkook let each other go.

Jungkook is on the sofa with Jin as Namjoon and Yoongi tinker around the setup they temporarily set up in Jin’s spare room. Hoseok is on the floor with Jimin, whom has a preference to stay on the ground. Jungkook would have joined him there, but he has a tendency to gravitate toward couches as of late. Not that he minded.

The beat Yoongi had set up, and the rhythm and style Namjoon created is both stylistic appealing. Jungkook allows his mind start creating, but never voices it out. It was the only form of artistic freedom he had so as to not rouse a needless fight. So it was natural for Jungkook to slip into his own headspace, constructing harmonies that’ll match well with the tone of the music filtering within the room.

This, too, Jungkook misses a lot. Now that he’s back in a space of music, he remembers the absolute bliss he felt in the midst of creation. He remembers the free styling of Yoongi as he wrote and wrote new pieces, sharing it with Jungkook for his thoughts and critique. But like everything else in his life, those stopped coming, because Jungkook pulled away.

Now that he’s back, the creativity can’t stop flowing in his mind, but he doesn’t say a word, and only allows himself to enjoy in secret silence.

“Jimin-ah, here,” Jungkook hears Namjoon call out, hand in paper as he passes it to Jimin.

Jimin is now laying his head on Hoseok’s lap and Jungkook finds himself chewing over his bottom lip over the sight. When did they get that comfortable?

He doesn’t have much time to probe over the thoughts when Jimin starts reading the words on the paper, mumbling it in high speed before snapping his fingers and pointing it out to Namjoon.

“How’s the tempo here? What feeling are we going for?”

“Light and airy. The feeling of first love? This is a song about wanting to love, Jiminie… think about that. Just as we’ve talked and practiced before…”

“Hmm…” Jimin glances at Jungkook briefly, and the younger is privy to the little blush that blooms on his face before looking back into the sheet of music in hand. “I think I got it.”

That’s when Namjoon starts playing the music from the beginning and almost immediately, Jimin starts singing in tandem with the slow beats of sound.

“It’s not a coincidence

Just with my feelings

The whole world is different yesterday

Just with your joy

When you called me, I’m your flower

As if we waited, we spread it so hard

Maybe it was just providence of the universe

You know, I know

You are me, I am you…”

Jungkook is listening intently to the charm of Jimin’s voice live. He was right; earlier in the dance studio, playing through the radio as Jimin danced, had been his voice. He’s just as talented singing as he is performing. How can someone be so… so f*cking beautiful?

Jimin isn’t doing much, just laying there and singing in his angelic melodies and expressions, yet Jungkook sees light around him like a halo effect. It’s absurd. Jimin has perfected the mood of the music -his pitches, his breathiness, resonance, and mixes. There’s a lot of head voice in his music, and he switches back into his chest voice so seamlessly -flawlessly. And even when he has little hiccups, when his voice cracks, and shyly apologizes before continuing, Jimin is still every bit of ethereal.

How the f*ck?

And Jungkook is here to witness the magic of the process; something he’s missed out on for years. He can’t believe this has been going on for who knows how long. By the way Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin work together, it seems as if they’d done this for years. They exchange criticism, suggestions and bounce ideas like normal, effortlessly.

When they’re on the same page, they go back and start again until they get it right.

And suddenly, Jungkook wants nothing more than to join in with them. He knows a good tone for Jimin to try out, a slight harmony he wants to add in, and a few adlibs that would definitely help uplift the song.

It doesn’t slip out until the chorus, probably his favorite verse because of how much it somehow rings true in his heart, despite not being ready to acknowledge it.

“My angel who saved me from the world

I’m you calico cat

Love me now

Touch me now

Just let me love you…

Just let me love you…”

“Let me love, let me love you…” Jungkook sings after, like an echo after Jimin.

And everything stops. Jimin pauses, curling his fingers around the paper. Yoongi’s eyes are large as he attempts three times to stop the music, and Namjoon slips off his headphones to look at Jungkook. Hoseok, too, cranes his head over to look at him, even at the slight awkwardness in his position. And when Jungkook shies away from their glances to seek comfort from Jin, he’s equally as disturbed to see the eldest hyung gaping at him.

“W-what?” Jungkook asks stunned.

“That was-”

“Oh my gosh-”

“That sounds so good-”

“Namjoon-ah, add that to the-”

“Koo, uh… wow-”

They all simultaneously start to say, overwhelming Jungkook completely. He isn’t sure who to listen to first, but his ears are instantly picking up Jimin’s voice amongst the chatter.

“Koo… that was amazing! Your voice…”

The praise sets his nerves aflame. It’s been too long since he’s sang to anyone, unsure of whether he even still has the talent of singing. However, with the way Jimin is practically glowing from having heard just a little bit from him, Jungkook supposes he still has it in him -just as he had with dance. But Jungkook knows he lacks practice, having stayed away from this for so long.

It saddens him knowing he could have improved and been better -he could have probably impressed Jimin a little more if he had just not given this up…

“There’s that gorgeous ass voice! Damn, didn’t realize how much I missed hearing you sing!” Hoseok screams, flying off the ground to hug Jungkook. But Jungkook doesn’t register the hug immediately because all he sees is Hoseok recklessly leaving as Jimin’s cushion so abruptly, the other drops his head onto the ground with a little thud.

Jungkook makes an attempt to reach out to Jimin to no avail, tsking in annoyance when he sees Jimin pout and rub his head to ease the slight pain.

“Hyung… you just dropped Jimin’s head,” he scolds, pulling away from Hoseok to slip onto the floor and palm around Jimin’s scalp to feel for any bump. “You okay?” he asks worriedly.

They’re in their own little world when Jimin smiles up to him, joining Jungkook’s hand to rub around the back of his head, curling around his hair.

The two don’t find anything weird about their exchange, but by the way everyone -except Namjoon- is staring at the scene before them with a shocked expression, anyone would think it is.

Jin, Hoseok, and Yoongi are exchanging knowing glances while Jungkook is laying on the ground next to Jimin, allowing the smaller man to rest against his shoulder as they start looking over the sheet of lyrics. Hoseok is melting and Jin is near tears. Yoongi, on the other hand, is feeling immense relief.

Their Jungkook is showing himself again. The caring and open one, not afraid to tease and bite back against their hyung. The one who sings and dance. The passionate one.

“Anything you’d like to add?” Yoongi asks after watching Jimin and Jungkook bounce ideas off each other for a minute.

Jungkook looks to Yoongi as if just remembering where he was and who was around them -it lightens Yoongi’s heart seeing him like this; innocent.

“Y-yeah,” Jungkook blushes, chuckling awkwardly to ease the teasing tension surrounding them. When Jungkook looks to Jimin, he looks calm as ever, like this is a normal occurrence. In turn, Jungkook starts to calm himself down.

“Yeah… uhm, I have a few… ideas? Namjoon hyung, can you play it again… from the start? Minnie, just sing and I guess I’ll… uh-”

“Sing with me?” Jimin asks enthusiastically, beaming with joy at the idea of mixing voices with Jungkook.

Jungkook sighs in defeat; he was only going to say a few pointers, but how could he deny Jimin when he’s radiating such high hopes like that?

He nods his head slowly, unsurely.

“Yeah, yeah okay. Just uh- sing and I’ll do that… too.”

Jungkook ignores the way he hears Hoseok laugh and explain to the others, “Oh yeah, he calls him Minnie now.”

“You can start now,” Jungkook orders, rolling his eyes at the slight teasings that follow after hearing Jimin’s nickname float in air.

Yoongi and Namjoon are working quietly, headphones in ear as they start playing around with the sounds after hearing and taking to account Jungkook’s suggestions. It makes him feel proud that he still has a keen sense of sound and tune when Yoongi and Namjoon nod their heads and agree with him. It makes him feel good for having that part of him accepted once more. Hoseok and Jin retire back into the kitchen to cut up some fruits.

Which leaves Jungkook and Jimin to themselves. He’s still on the ground, with Jimin by his side, as he’s scrolling through his phone, downloading an old music app he once played around with before.

“Yoongi-hyung told me you had the best voice…” Jimin starts, pulling his attention. “He also told me you stopped a long time ago. Why did you?”

“Same reason I quit dancing,” Jungkook answers simply.

“I don’t know the reason for that, either.”

“You don’t have to know, Minnie.”

Jungkook notices the way that bothers Jimin -a lot, considering the way Jimin is furrowing his eyebrows and pouting. Even now, Jungkook still has trouble opening up, but he just can’t help it. It’s not something he wants to talk about.

“Do you miss singing also?”

Jungkook sighs and closes his eyes, pocketing his phone back into his jeans because he just knows that this talk will last for awhile. It’s always like this with Jimin… the other always trying to pry into his life, chipping away at the walls he’s built for himself.

“I do,” he admits. There’s really no point in lying.

“You’re really, really good, Koo.”

Even with his eyes closed, he can still imagine the look of intense admiration on Jimin’s face from the way he compliments him wholeheartedly. It makes Jungkook smile genuinely.

“Thanks.”

“Thank you for sharing your voice with me,” he hears him whisper. “Taehyung used to sing a lot… his voice is deeper, almost dark. Your voice is light.”

“Who’s better?” Jungkook finds himself asking; it’s almost embarrassing the way he feels inclined to compete with someone he’s never met. Even if he’s held a competitive personality almost all his life, this is a little too much, and a little too childish.

Jimin giggles as he slaps his hand against his chest playfully. “You’re ridiculous! You’re both amazing and you two have different styles!”

“Who, Minnie?” Jungkook can’t believe he even has the nerve to ask again. Jungkook doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath in, anticipating for the answer eagerly.

“You,” Jimin laughs. “But don’t tell him that,” he hushes. And Jungkook releases his breath, oddly satisfied with the answer, and priding himself over having won over Jimin’s preference.

“It’s a shame you don’t sing, though. Keeping all that voice to Eunwoo… what a lucky man.”

Hearing his name out in the open tears at Jungkook’s heart, mainly because it’s so abrupt. He hasn’t been thinking of Eunwoo in the highs of his happiness today, and each time he did, he realizes how broken and sour he feels. Right now is no different, even if Jimin is speaking of him in such a warm tone.

Because no, Jungkook doesn’t even sing for Eunwoo.

Because he hated it. Jungkook can’t really remember why, which it makes it all the more frustrating now.

He hates the idea of art and how people can make a living out of it. He hated the idea of Jungkook wanting to pursue a career in it. But he was there… there to make him feel better when he felt rejected by it all. All Jungkook wanted to do back then was make music and perform, but reality was harsh when no one wanted his efforts… when he didn’t get a callback… or consideration, despite spending so much time…

Eunwoo was there to piece him back and encourage him into a new path -a sustainable path.

This is why he stopped.

But should he have really? Should he have kept trying? Did he just need support?

f*ck! Jungkook doesn’t know anymore. Not with Jimin clouding his memories and having him second guess his decisions.

Did he really make the f*cking wrongs ones all this time?

And why is he thinking so badly of it all only now?

“I don’t sing for anyone,” Jungkook says quietly, irritation starting to seep in again. He’s trying to control it -he really is, but having all these thoughts invade his mind is only encouraging a manifestation of tragedy.

Jimin raises an eyebrow at that, clearly taken aback by the confession, but he doesn’t question it after some thought. Instead, Jimin only holds Jungkook’s gaze and shamelessly asks, “will you sing for me?” As if Jungkook hadn’t already sang with him.

But this shouldn’t have triggered Jungkook as much as it does. He’s already danced with Jimin and sang with him; so why did hearing him ask that specific question make Jungkook’s blood run hot and his nerves intensify like flames beneath his flesh?

Because he’s not Eunwoo.

Jungkook grits his teethe and clenches his fists tightly, not knowing how to reign in all of these flaming emotions burning him alive. He’s not sure what to feel anymore. Because on one hand, he wouldn’t mind serenading Jimin, but on the other he feels as if he’s stabbing Eunwoo’s memory in the back. It shouldn’t matter anymore -he’s not here.

But Jungkook can’t f*cking let it go.

And it’s eating him alive, making him feel guilty and pathetic. He hates the feeling so much and is losing control over his composure. He’s shaking now, and he sees Jimin start to look concerned, an apology ready on his lips. Jungkook doesn’t need his f*cking apology -there’s nothing he should feel sorry for. But Jungkook can’t take the in flux of rage and anguish building up within him…

He’s never second guessed himself before.

He’s always been so sure of his decisions with Eunwoo by his side, even if at times it makes him a little detached.

But now, with everything that’s been going on, Jungkook is hit with a whirlwind of what he used to love and cherish. And now he’s doing nothing but reminisce and wonder why he had dropped them all. He should have felt grateful to be reintroduced to what he held dear, but it’s only brought Eunwoo into a nasty light.

And seeing Eunwoo like that destroys the image of what they were. He’s tarnishing his memory, but that’s his person… the person he lost. How could Jungkook do that to him?

In a fit of puzzlement, Jungkook loses it, and he can’t take his words back when he looks to the source of his confusion and explodes on him.

“Why the f*ck would I do that?”

This stuns the both of them, but Jungkook doesn’t let it show.

“Huh? I didn’t mean to… sorry, did I cross a line?” Jimin backtracks, clearly showing remorse.

Jungkook feels bad; f*ck, he feels terrible, but this is who he is, he supposes. Jungkook abandoned his hyungs once, disregarded all of his passions, ignored the concerns thrown at him, and became a person he thought was established and composed. Now he’s realizing he’s not even that when he feels himself break at the sight of Jimin’s terrified face, an expression he caused because of his rude attitude. He’s not who Eunwoo wanted him to be, and in turn he even failed him. He’s lost everyone at one point because Jungkook just can’t f*cking act right. And now, now he’s making someone like Jimin feel at fault because he’s broken.

It isn’t Jimin’s fault.

It’s no one’s fault.

It’s his.

Jungkook breathes in harshly and shuts his eyes briefly to calm himself down.

“Sorry, no,” Jungkook shakes his head, getting up on his knees. “You’re not Eunwoo, Jimin. You’re nothing like him,” he says, and instantly regrets because of the way Jimin’s face completely falls at the statement. But it’s out in the open, seeping into the tension of the rather quiet room.

Before Jungkook could even amend his statement, feeling frustrated at how he’s making everything exponentially worse, Jimin is already scrambling up to meet Jungkook halfway up.

“I’m not saying I am… I’m not trying to replace him or anything…”

“You can’t replace him, Jimin.” There’s nothing to replace… Jungkook thinks somberly, because now he’s just wondering whether or not he even had Eunwoo to fill him in the first place. If he had, he wouldn’t have felt lonely… He’s remembering how lonely he felt in their relationship.

He never felt lost. But he never felt as safe as he did with his hyungs -with Jimin.

But his words aren’t coming across in tandem with his feelings. Because Jimin is breaking, eyes shining with a light sheen of unshed tears. He did that.

Jungkook is making him cry.

“I just -oh my gosh, Jungkook…” Jungkook turns on his heels. “Where are you going?”

He’s f*cking everything up.

He’s still f*cking everything up.

With his hyungs. With Eunwoo. With Jimin. He just needs to get away. Far away so he can’t lose them because he can’t lose anyone. Not anymore.

He can hear his hyungs start to realize the noise around them. Voices shout at him to stop because it’s raining out and he didn’t drive here. The door slams shut behind him, but he can’t hear who it is that’s following him. More muffles, more shouts, and Jungkook’s vision is being blurred by the fallen rain. Traffic blasts in his ears, drowning out the screams he’s sure to hear from behind if he paid enough attention to them.

He’s so f*cking exhausted of letting everyone down. Why isn’t he just good enough? Why was he never good enough?

“Jungkook!”

Jimin. He doesn’t turn around; he just can’t see him right now -doesn’t want to. He needs Jimin to see that he’s not worth it. f*ck, Jimin needs to get away from him.

“Stop, please, just stop!”

He hates it -the desperation and fear in Jimin’s voice seem misplaced, as if those were the two tones that should never have to be elicited from the smaller man. Jungkook caused that.

“Leave, Jimin!”

Jungkook doesn’t stop his pace -hell, he has no idea where he’s even going, he just needed to leave right now. His emotions are at its peak high and is mind is in disarray. No longer is composed and put together; Jungkook is falling at the seams and no one should be around him to bear witness to it.

“I won’t! You’re hurting, Jungkook. I told you I’m here. I’m always going to be here-”

“And what if you’re not?” Jungkook explodes, finally turning on his heels to face Jimin. “What if one day you wake up and realize what a f*cking mess I am?”

He’s crumbling. Every facade he’s ever put up is deteriorating into ashes… the scared, unsure boy he’s always been is lying behind, cowering.

“We’ve been over this,” Jimin says softly, attempting to reach for his hand before Jungkook snatches it away. Jungkook doesn’t miss the pain that inflicts in Jimin’s eyes briefly before they fade into determination and resign. “We’re both healing, Jungkook. You have to let me be there for you like how you are with me. You have your hyungs… you don’t have to run…”

“You don’t get it!” Jungkook argues, no longer caring that he’s breaking down in public, in the rain, in front of the man who’s done nothing but evoke these emotions in him. “You don’t get it, Jimin. I’m not worth it! I don’t know who I even am anymore! I don’t know who I was. Or who I want to be.”

“Then be you!” Jimin tries to calm him down, but Jungkook is frantic as he pushes away from Jimin’s advances.

“How can I when Hobi looks at me like I’m a new f*cking person every time I do something, or when Jin looks at me as if he’s lost someone, and f*cking Yoongi! Yoongi is always trying to… f*ck… I don’t know… reach me? I try to be cool and collected… I try to be that for Eunwoo, but then I know my hyungs want someone else and now there’s f*cking you!”

He doesn’t mean to scare Jimin when he yells at him, pointing his finger directly at his chest, eyes ablaze with raw anguish. But he’s lost all composure now -probably the most insane he’s ever been.

“You who’s always trying to f*cking get me to open up! You who’s making me feel like I’m okay when I’m really falling apart. And then you who I want to spend time with even if it makes me feel so f*cking guilty all the f*cking time!”

“I-I’m sorry,” Jimin apologizes and it grates on Jungkook’s nerves once more.

And there Jimin goes again, f*cking apologizing for Jungkook’s own mishaps, his own struggles, and his own chaotic problems.

It makes him angrier.

“Stop f*cking saying sorry!” Jungkook’s heart break at the way Jimin’s lips quiver -it’s hard to tell whether or not Jimin’s crying with all the water already pouring on their faces, but he’s not blind to see the hurt and pain that flash before his eyes. “Just stop it, please, just stop it,” Jungkook pleads, falling into a crouch.

Jungkook presses the heels of his hands into his eyes to try to stop the tears and get a hold of himself, but he only finds himself crying harder when he feels weight engulf him a cold and wet hug.

“I”m not worth it. I’m not. I’m not, I’m not,” he repeats.

Jimin tries to shush him as he rocks Jungkook’s trembling body back and forth.

“Who told you that, Koo? You are worth it and more.”

But Jungkook shakes his head, not believing a single word. If he’s worth it, why does Jungkook feel like he has to try twice as hard to be someone everyone wanted? If he’s worth it, why does it always feel like he’s not wanted.

“No one wants me,” Jungkook whispers. The fear finally letting slip from his lips.

“I want you,” Jimin whispers, voice nearly lost from the rain. He holds Jungkook closer. “I want you, Jungkook.”

Jungkook is having difficulty registering what’s happening around him, but he tries his best to stay cautious despite the mental exhaustion.

“Don’t say that. You’re not a liar, Jimin.”

“I’m not,” Jimin agrees. “So that only means I’m telling you the truth, right? I want you, Jungkook… I like you.”

Jungkook clenches his teeth and pushes Jimin back; they both tumble onto their butts above the wet pavement.

“Don’t say that,” Jungkook warns. Jimin doesn’t like him, not in that way at least -he can’t. But Jungkook is present enough to see by the way Jimin is looking at him, that there’s no way to misinterpret the absolute adoration he sees radiating from him.

Jungkook is both relieved and torn at the show of affection.

But he can’t. He’s not ready. And f*ck if he has to break Jimin’s heart to get that point across…

“You can’t.”

“What do you mean I can’t?” Jimin wonders, biting his plush lip to keep from crying.

“It means you can’t f*cking like me, Jimin! What else?”

“Well too bad, ‘cause I like who I like and no one has the right to tell me otherwise!” Jimin bites back, the sassiness in him shining through even in the midst of an intense breakdown.

It endears Jungkook, but instead he scoffs and rolls his eyes at him.

“You’re sounding like a kid again,” Jungkook insults, even if he knows it isn’t true. Jimin is brave. Jungkook’s the coward.

He doesn’t help Jimin up as he starts lifting himself from the ground, ready to aimlessly walk around yet again. Of course, that’s not enough to stray from Jimin’s resolve.

“Why are you so mean again, Jungkook?” He hears Jimin cry from the back. “Is it so wrong for me to like you? Is that why you’re being like this? What did I ever do to you?”

“I told you I’m not f*cking worth it!”

“And I’m saying you are!” Jimin screams, the loudest yet. They’re on a sidewalk, near a busy intersection. Thankfully there are only a few people walking around, but they’ve quickly maneuvered so that they wouldn’t be subjected to their fight.

“What about me is worth it, Jimin? You’ve only known me what? Four f*cking months! And you’re so f*cking clingy and positive. f*ck!Iit’s tiring! I never had this with anyone but you. Not with my hyungs and definitely not with Eunwoo! So please enlighten me! Tell me why I’m so f*cking worth it!”

“You’re kind when you’re not being a f*cking jerk!” Jimin starts off, taking Jungkook aback a bit because he didn’t quite expect the backhanded compliment, though he deserves it. “You take care of me! You listen to me whenever I feel insecure. You cook for me and make sure I’m fed. You’re so f*cking stupid and it makes me laugh so hard I remember what it’s like to not feel like the whole world is crumbling around me. You feel like home, Jungkook. Ever since Tae… my own home felt like a prison where I trap myself in… you made it feel like home again,” Jimin cries.

It’s everything Jungkook had wanted to hear.

It’s everything he wanted to be.

Someone’s safe haven and someone’s home. This is the kind of wanted he needed to feel.

It’s breaking him as he looks to Jimin and sees him as someone as everything that’s not Eunwoo. It’s tearing away his soul knowing that his past relationship was probably barely even a relationship. He’s mourning someone who never truly loved him, he realizes. Because the person in front of him has done more for him in four months than Eunwoo ever had in three years.

And he was f*cking engaged to him.

He still loves him though, right? That’s why Jungkook stayed for so long. That’s why he changed for him. That’s why he tried to do every little f*cking thing for him.

So why did it have to be Jimin?

Why did it have to be Jimin to give him the sense of acceptance and warmth he’s always craved from his own fiance. Slowly his vision starts to darken, and there in front of him is Eunwoo, staring at him with such contempt and disappointment. He’s long used to that, almost classified it as his normal look, but he’s seen Eunwoo smile and laugh.

Why couldn’t he be this way for him? Why couldn’t he love him like Jungkook loved him? Why? He did everything…

Why aren’t you like him? I wanted to hear that from you, Eunwoo…

“I’m not him…” Jimin speaks lowly, breaking the mirage of his fiancé to show Jimin’s shivering.

Jungkook’s eyes widen as he deduces he may have accidentally said that out in the open, and Jimin obviously heard. Jimin looks desolate and tired -the rain has lightened up a little bit, but they’re completely drenched and the wind is harsh.

“Why do you always…” Jimin whispers, voice cracking, similarly to Jungkook’s heart. “I’m not him, Jungkook. I just confessed to you… why are you still comparing me to him?”

f*ck, no, that’s not what Jungkook meant at all. He is comparing… but not in the way Jimin most likely thinks. He can’t find his words, though -mouth not working properly as he lifts his arms and attempts to reach for Jimin.

Because Jimin doesn’t look too good; they’re both shivering, but now Jimin looks absolutely distraught, shying away from Jungkook’s advances for the first time since they’ve met, and that pains him.

“J-Jimin…”

“I’m sorry for liking you! I get it; I’m not him… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything at all,” Jimin starts backing up. “I’ll leave you alone… I’m sorry for being clingy. I won’t care anymore. I won’t call you, I promise. So don’t call me. Do whatever you want,” Jimin is quick to turn around and speed walk

So Jungkook just watches him -watches until Jimin is nothing but a blur and watches when he doesn’t see him at all.

And he feels like dying.

What is he doing? What is he doing?

He’s repeating the cycle all over again -he’s letting Eunwoo push away things that he loves, people that he cares for and he’s not even f*cking here to convince him to do so. However, as easy as it is to point the fingers at someone gone, Jungkook knows he’s to blame as well; he just needed an outlet to let out the steam that’s overwhelming him from within.

He’s still so confused and lost, not knowing whether he should just go home and hide or seek the only comfort he’s truly felt in such a long, long time.

His mind starts to drift as the rain starts to pick up, drenching Jungkook even more to the bone, and his thoughts have instantly shifted to that of concern.

Where did Jimin go? Is he breaking down all alone now? Is he lost? How cold is he?

He doesn’t deserve it. Jimin is the one person right now that doesn’t deserve this kind of treatment in his life. Jimin understands him in a way no one has been able to. Jimin held no judgement. Jimin never lied to him and is always, always so honest with him even if he’s insulting him or giving him the harsh truths. Jimin cares so much for him even when Jungkook lashes out unreasonably at random times for doing things that Eunwoo would have condemned him for. But even so, Jimin stays. He stays.

But not this time.

Because Jungkook does what he does best, he supposes. He steps back and pushes people away. Distances himself and isolates himself. He never f*cking learns. Not with his hyungs and now with Jimin? But Jungkook is scared. He’s terrified whatever it is he’s building with Jimin, completely unwarranted, cements the suspicions he’s been having the more time he spends with him. He’s scared to admit that maybe his hyungs were right about Eunwoo -that his relationship was nothing more than a means for status and image. There was no love in it, not from Eunwoo's side at least, Jungkook thinks. But that just meant he’d been so blinded… and he wasted that many years on a man that couldn’t invest even an ounce of affection he’s given in return.

Then there’s Jimin.

Someone who’s done nothing but try to reach him and encourage his passions. He’s so kind and compassionate; he’s fun and witty and he lets Jungkook be himself -whoever that is. But Jungkook’s so afraid of letting someone in that’s not what he’s already familiar with. Jungkook’s been cowardly, projecting his loneliness and struggles and his neglect of love fall before someone as innocent as Jimin.

And it dawns on him then.

Jimin deserves nothing but happiness, and Jungkook wants to give that to him. As more than just a friend who knows exactly what he’s going through. Jungkook wants to be that save haven for Jimin… Jungkook wants to be the one to love him. And Jungkook, in turn, wants to finally…finally be loved and wanted back.

By Jimin…

It’s the only logical reason why he feels the need to be in his presence at all times. It’s not just for comfort and warmth, it’s security and attraction. That’s why he’s been thinking of Jimin as absolutely beautiful and that’s why he’s recently seeing him as someone he wants to hold and kiss.

He’s guilty. He thinks he’s moving on too fast -that three years worth of someone he’d proposed to meant nothing when it only took knowing Jimin for four months to throw his entire relationship into question. But f*ck it, he doesn’t care anymore.

He’s cold and tired and depressed.

And Jimin is, too, when he shouldn’t be.

More than his guilt for falling in love with someone else, he’s more so remorseful at having push that love away.

So he runs in the direction he’s seen Jimin went, not caring when the rain picks up and the cold air harshens. He’s desperate to find him, hold him, and plead to just take him back. Jimin needs to know he’s sorry and that he didn’t mean anything he said. He needs to know why he isn’t Eunwoo… and what that means to him.

But Jimin isn’t anywhere to be seen. The roads are almost empty and not a person is in sight.

He finds himself shelter immediately and pulls out his phone, hoping it’s as waterproof as the manufacture states it to be. He’s glad that it is when he dials Jimin’s number, already memorized it by heart.

He’s crying when the call goes to voicemail.

No. No. No.

He can’t let Jimin get away; Jungkook wants him -he needs him.

He calls once more time. Two times. And by the third time Jungkook can’t breathe over the pain at the idea of successfully pushing Jimin to his limits. On his fourth call, even when the line connects and Jimin’s voice spill through the speakers, he has half a mind to hang up and dial again, in disbelief that Jimin would have the heart to accept him again -even after the sh*t he’s said to him.

“What?” He hears Jimin answer coldly. It strikes Jungkook’s heart because he’s never heard him so icy toward him.

Jungkook whimpers, letting the child in him finally break through. He’s tired of being collected, because he knows he’s not. Finally, Jungkook just wants to release all of his feelings, let them be known and shown. He doesn’t want to hold back and hide anymore, especially not in front of Jimin. There’s nothing more than Jungkook wants than to just be honest -with himself, his situation, and with Jimin.

No more delusions and no more lies.

“Hyung,” he calls out in his desperation, hoping so badly Jimin can hear the sincerity of his pleads. “I was wrong. I did wrong,” Jungkook admits, breaking down once more onto his knees, hiccuping and struggling to catch his breath.

“I told you not to call me.”

That further breaks Jungkook, but he’s not going to give up. He grips tight onto his phone, knuckles turning white, and concern thrown out as he threatens to snap the device in half with the sheer force. He tries to beg for him, but all the gurgles out is a cry.

His heart is so tired -he can’t bear the thought of losing Jimin. More than anyone, he can’t lose Jimin. Jungkook absolutely can’t.

“Where are you?” Jimin asks.

Jungkook doesn’t know as he looks around, peering over the streets to see for any familiar landmarks. But he doesn’t know -his eyes are too brimmed with tears to differentiate his location.

“I-I don’t know,” Jungkook cries.

It’s funny. Just earlier he’d been calling Jimin a kid, but here is Jungkook know, balling like a lost child, wanting nothing more than for someone to find him, coddle him, and reassure him that everything will be okay. He’s so vulnerable that every little thing will be sure to tear him apart, and all he needs right now is Jimin to be there for him like he always is.

“Jungkook, where are you?”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook wails, clutching his heart to calm the constant ache he feels. He needs to see him. There’s nothing more important than that. “Tell me where you are hyung, please, please… I’ll take a taxi… just please let me see you!”

Jungkook almost feels defeated when Jimin is silent, but before his entire world falls to his feet, Jimin is giving him a location. Seconds after he’s already dialed for a taxi and hopped on, nearly shouting the address to him. He needs to get to Jimin fast -before he has a chance to change his mind and tell Jungkook off like he deserves.

But Jimin is where he is when he exits off the taxi, paying a little more to his driver for soaking his car and shaking in agitation in the back like a maniac. He doesn’t care though, not when this beautiful man stands under the shades, shaking, and tired, and waiting for him.

Jungkook doesn’t stop the tears he’s been holding back in the car; he releases them the moment he locks eyes with Jimin, because there’s no need to hold back from him; there’s no need to be strong or collected when Jimin is nothing but safe and accepting.

So he cries as he stumbles his way into Jimin’s arms like he’s always wanted, in a way he’s always needed. And Jimin wraps himself around Jungkook, pulling him impossibly close as he cries within his embrace. They stay that way for a long time, just crying and warming each other’s soaked bodies through the hear of their touch.

But Jungkook would be foolish to think Jimin would just drop everything then. The smaller man is clutching onto his shirt by his chest, and hides his face in the crook of neck as he breathes him in, taking in his scent despite the rainfall coating them.

“Why are you like this?” Jimin sobs.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Jimin.” Jungkook holds him as if his life depended on it -it might as well have. He’s not sure if he can take a loss like Jimin; Jungkook is too fragile now.

”I’m not him, Jungkook! So stop it! Stop treating me as if I were him!”

Jungkook knows. There’s no comparison between the two, and he hates himself for making Jimin believe that Jungkook doesn’t see anyone else but him. There’s no one like Jimin.

"I know!" Jungkook screams back in absolute anguish. He knows better than anyone else how Jimin is nothing like his late fiancé -not even a little bit. Eunwoo is cold, distant, and high maintenance. Jimin is warm, close, and inviting. They're nothing at all alike.

"You're not him! You'll never be him! I know that!” Jungkook will always be infinitely sorry to him.

"Then why?" Jimin breaks down, curling in on himself, hiding behind his oversized sleeves so that Jungkook doesn't see him cry. But Jungkook sees his tears and it shatters him all the same. "So why are you always snapping at me because I don't act a certain way? Why are you always so mad at me for just being me!”

"Because I feel guilty!" Jungkook whispers angrily, tears brimming in his own eyes from the heightening emotions. "I feel guilty because you're nothing like him... and I'm falling for you because of it…”

Jungkook is hiding in his hair and doesn’t allow Jimin even a breath of space between them when Jimin shuffles in his hold. It’s now or never. It’s his turn to let everything out in the open. It’s his turn to assure Jimin.

“I feel guilty because I’m falling for you, Jimin… I think I already fell for you. I’ve never felt as safe with anyone like I am with you. I haven’t felt like this with anyone… not even with Eunwoo. And I’m sorry because I’m afraid of that feeling. I’m afraid that maybe, maybe it was never real with him. But with you, I feel so much, and with you it feels that it is.” Jungkook chokes a little, his voice cracking from the strain of his cries. “I’m sorry, Jimin… but please believe me. Please.”

Jungkook holds his breath, afraid that Jimin will start pulling back and leave him, but instead the smaller man relaxes and melts into him.

“Koo,” Jimin breathes out; he’s still crying, but this time Jungkook could tell it’s from relief by the way Jimin is curling into him and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Do you mean that?”

“I do,” Jungkook kisses his head, presses his lips against his drenched hair. “I mean it, Minnie.” He pulls them apart, only slightly so that they could look at each other’s faces.

They’re a wreck.

Jimin has bloodshot eyes, tear filled and swollen. Yet he still looks gorgeous. Jungkook is fairing no better -probably looking just as wrecked and distraught the same.

“I really like you, Jimin.” He brushes the back of his fingers along Jimin’s pale cheeks, softly and adoringly. “I like you so much.”

He doesn’t stop himself from leaning over, brushing just a hair away from Jimin’s lips.

“I want to kiss you,” he whispers, lips lightly touching Jimin’s.

Jimin presses forward, daring Jungkook. “Then kiss me.”

Shameless. They’re shameless when Jungkook follows through with his command. He’s falling apart at the seams, and unraveling himself before Jimin bare and vulnerable.

He takes in Jimin’s breath as he gasps, opening himself up for Jungkook to slip his tongue right in, playing for dominance as he stakes his claim. Jungkook is running his hands all over Jimin’s back, housing them just at the dip of his hips to pull him in closer, not caring whether or not there are bystanders witnessing their raunchy display of affection.

He can’t care. Not anymore -not when Jimin is plaint under his hold and moaning under his touch.

He’s never wanted anyone so bad -never wanted anything as much as this moment so bad.

Jungkook can’t think straight when he hears Jimin whimper and feel the man fall into him with as much want and need.

“Come home with me,” Jungkook whispers, brushing his lips against Jimin’s neck. He’s inhaling his scent, memorizing the hint of peaches and vanilla that lingers just around his collarbones. “I need you, Jimin…” And as if to reiterate his desire, Jungkook tightens his hold on Jimin by his waist, pulling him against his definite hard on. It makes Jimin moan into the touch, which only excites Jungkook more.

“Jungkook?”

“Please,” he pleads.

Jungkook needs him. All of him. His warmth. His care. His love. f*ck, he wants all of him. Now, before the night ends. Now, before they sober up from their previous breakdowns. Now, when all he sees, feels, hears, and smell is Jimin -only Jimin.

And Jimin, though hesitant, relents. Because he loves Jungkook. He’s known and been aware of that feeling for awhile now, and he can’t deny him anything when he’s so broken down and seeking for his affection. Especially now, when he’s heard his confession, his fears, and vulnerability.

“Okay, yeah, okay,” Jimin repeats as Jungkook is peppering kisses all of his face -from his forehead to eyelids to nose and he stops right before his lips. A breath away. The tension is high as they lock eyes with one another.

Jungkook asking for permission.

Jimin granting it.

And Jungkook leans forward once more. Despite the harsh grip Jungkook has on him and pulling him toward his chest as if he’s afraid Jimin would turn and run away, their kiss is innocent at best. Just a touch of their lips -Jungkook on Jimin’s pillowy and plump lips.

And Jungkook swears he’s never felt such f*cking fireworks launching consistently as he did with sharing just the bare minimum kiss with each other.

Chapter 4: Fell

Chapter Text

Clothes are scattered around the floor, creating a path that leads straight to Jungkook’s room. He’s never had someone over in his place other than his hyungs. Jimin is the first make it past his living room, past his bedroom threshold, and onto his silk sheets. He’s the first to see Jungkook in nothing but his boxers, the first to allow his skin to be marked by another’s lips -another’s touch. He’s the first to have all of Jungkook’s attention since Eunwoo and the first Jungkook wants more than anyone else in a long, long time.

With that in mind, he glances briefly to his night stand, where he knows he’s kept a bottle of lube, unopened and untouched and sees the only picture he has of Eunwoo there. He doesn’t have it in him to even feel slightly remorseful as he’s had the entire night to feel that way before his own confession. So Jungkook reaches over, stretches across Jimin who’s breathing and as equally as aroused as he is below him, and flips the frame down. Therefore, it’s only Jimin and Jungkook.

No one else matters tonight.

“Jungkook?”

Jungkook breaks his attention from the frame to look at Jimin, and he instantly realizes just how besotted he is with the man. He stares into his pretty eyes and wonders how he could ever think Jimin was ever annoying, because all he can seem to see in Jimin now is absolute perfection.

He’s so pretty. So, so pretty.

With the way his light, blonde hair fans over his head and how his slim, lean body fits on his bed. Jimin is gorgeous. Beautiful. Perfect.

Jungkook can’t help but smile, dopey and foolish and completely enamored as he leans forward to press a gentle kiss above both his eye lids. The small affection elicits a few giggles from Jimin, and the small man below scrunches up in joy as he tries to pepper Jungkook with his own little kisses. Every successful kiss Jimin manages to land, induces flame upon Jungkook’s flesh, burning himself up from the inside from his every touch. And he relishes it with every breath he takes.

With both hands caging Jimin in from above, Jungkook takes a moment to just fester his eyes all over Jimin once more. He’s still in his shirt, but they’re rippled up, displaying just a peak of his fair skin below. Jimin’s eyes are blown in arousal and lust, darkening when Jungkook licks his lips in anticipation of kissing his plush lips again and again.

He’s doesn’t thin he’s ever tasted anything better.

“Koo,” Jimin breathes out, dragging out a moan that Jungkook wants to hear throughout the night. It sends his nerves into overdrive, forcing Jungkook to hold himself back from unleashing all of his pent up frustrations onto the smaller man.

“Yes, baby,” he calls out, nuzzling his face into Jimin’s neck, completely unaware of the other’s blooming cheeks from the call of endearment.

“Are you sure about this?”

It stops Jungkook completely, pulling himself off of Jimin to ensure that he’s not forcing the man against his will. He starts to feel a little guilty when he witnesses the uncertainty in Jimin’s eyes and the little pout on his lips.

“I-I’m sorry,” Jungkook whimpers. The sight of Jimin makes Jungkook’s stomach flip, and he starts to climb off the other but is immediately held in place by his desperate hands, clutching tight onto his hips.

“Why are you sorry? Are you leaving again?” Fear strikes Jimin’s face and it sends a nasty taste in Jungkook’s mouth.

“No,” he assures quickly. “But am I making you uncomfortable?” Jungkook asks, frowning. “I don’t want to pressure you, Jimin…”

“And I don’t want to pressure you either,” Jimin smiles softly. “I just want to make sure that this is what you want… and if… I’m who you want?”

Jungkook has always been aware of Jimin’s insecurity, even early on in their budding friendship. However, despite being aware of it, he’s never really known the depths of his insecurity until a couple of months in when he found Jimin looking at himself in the mirror.

He had a blank face, but Jungkook could see it by the glint in his eyes of his own disapproval. Jungkook’s been attentive to Jimin’s diet, understanding that the other struggled to eat sometimes, and had been made worse due to Taehyung’s passing. He’s only gotten a brief glimpse of Jimin’s struggle when he thanks Jungkook one night and quietly explains that ‘he’s getting better.’ They never touch up on it afterwards; Jungkook’s main focus was to support him silently, provide Jimin with enough nutrients and keep him well fed.

Aside from that, he also knows how Jimin can be overly harsh toward himself. Especially when he talked about his crush with Taehyung.

He knows Taehyung loved Jimin to pieces; Jungkook is sure of that, because how could anyone not? Their bond is immaculate and pure. He’s had his fill with stories on how Taehyung had always been there for Jimin and vice versa. But despite that, Jimin would always tell Jungkook how little he thought of himself when hoping for something more with Taehyung when they were younger.

I’m sure he loved you the same way, Jimin, Jungkook remembers telling him.

I just don’t think he did. I didn’t think I was good enough. I have so many flaws, Jungkook, you don’t know the half of it. Jimin was smiling, which only bothered Jungkook more because he knew the hidden pain behind it. But it didn’t matter because Taehyung will always be someone I cherish. And it’s enough for me to have him as my best friend.

Jungkook wasn’t jealous then, but he’s jealous now. He knows just how much Jimin loves Taehyung, and he has a slight insecurity of his own regarding their bond, but Jungkook can get past it -he has to. Jungkook could be that for Jimin now; not a replacement, but someone who can build Jimin up from his detrimental thoughts. He could be someone that can help Jimin love himself. He can be the crush that is finally reciprocated.

Oh, how f*cking badly Jungkook wanted that.

Jungkook smiles into the crook of Jimin’s neck. His lips graze against his skin, making the other shiver from the touch.

“I want you,” Jungkook sighs.

There’s no lie and no doubt. Jimin is who Jungkook wants, probably since the first time he’s laid eyes on him and thought how beautiful he’d been then, even when the other had grated on his nerves. And when Jungkook presses his lips against the space between Jimin’s jaw and ear, he could physically feel the way Jimin melts into his hold.

It’s as if he’s completely let himself go, allowing Jungkook to do whatever it is he wants to him. But, the younger needs to be sure, as well.

“Do you want me, Jimin?” He holds Jimin’s gaze n his own. Jungkook sees the way Jimin softens, fill up with warmth and love; it makes Jungkook feel whole. “Are you sure that I’m who you want?”

Jimin’s answer is clear when the smaller man pushes up against his elbows to catch Jungkook’s lips in a searing kiss. There’s nothing slow and innocent between their locked lips, and has everything to do with want, lust and passion as they’re gasping for air when they pull apart. They can’t hold back, not anymore, and Jungkook is more than willingly to just let himself be as he scoops Jimin up by the waist and flip them over so now Jimin is straddling his hips, grinding against his hard-on with no regard.

He thinks he can listen to this forever; Jimin’s moans are music to his ears -his little gasps and groans, and the way Jimin is struggling to catch his breath as he’s writhing with the pressure Jungkook is applying to him. Bruises are sure to form where Jungkook is gripping onto his hips, fingers digging into his fair skin. It entices Jungkook to hold on to Jimin tighter, loving the idea of marking Jimin up as his.

It’s amazing how sweet Jimin is, how pliant and soft. Jungkook loves it.

He slips his fingers from his waist to travel up his torso, palming his abs, and finally up to play with his hardened nipples. Jimin mewls and arches his back from the sensation, giving Jungkook more room for him to suck hickeys along the canvas of his neck, just enough to paint purplish hues.

“Sensitive, baby?” Jungkook teases, as he bites lightly at the junction of Jimin’s neck.

Jimin moans loudly. “Y-yes,” he whimpers, shivering at the sensations all over his body. Jungkook is still grinding up against him, rubbing his thumbs over his nipples, and kissing him all over his exposed skin -it’s a lot to feel for Jimin who lacked any sexual intimacy for a year.

Jungkook is getting harder by the second. Jimin is a f*cking dream by the way he sounds, looks, feels, and tastes.

Is this the best decision of his life? Is he in the right state of mind to have Jimin like this? He’s not sure, but he doesn’t give a single sh*t about it right now.

Jungkook makes haste to circle around Jimin’s waist, foregoing his chest, and running his hands back so they cup the fullness of Jimin’s round ass. Jimin is blessed with renowned curves, and Jungkook is blessed to be given the chance to appreciate it. So he does; he places his large hands on each mound, jiggling his cheeks as he pleases, squeezing them and spreading them apart in lustful actions. Jimin shivers each time.

Finally, enough is enough, as Jungkook slips one hand within Jimin’s boxer and the other hand up to cup Jimin’s face lovingly. He slowly shoves a couple of his finger pass his pillowy lips, and flushes by how lewd and provocative Jimin is sucking him in. He’s wet, warm, and so sinful as Jimin never once looks away from Jungkook as he’s shoving his mouth to take all of his fingers, coating him thoroughly.

It makes Jungkook’s imaginations run wild with perverted thoughts.

He’s looking at the way Jimin’s lips part from his fingers and can’t help but stray to the thought of shoving his hard, leaking co*ck into his mouth, and push in until he’s choking and drooling with his throat filled with him. He wonders if Jimin will like the taste of him. Will like being treated like a f*cking slu*t, made to take him whole? Will he like being held by the hair, and have him still as Jungkook f*cks his mouth enough to spill his entire seed down his throat?

“f*ck,” Jungkook hisses. He pulls his fingers from Jimin’s slu*tty mouth and pulls him in so he’s sucking on his tongue. With Jimin a little distracted as they make out, Jungkook starts to tug Jimin’s boxers down, exposing his perky ass. He starts to rim his little hole with his slicked fingers, probing at the muscle.

“You make me so f*cking horny,” the younger mumbles when Jimin falls into his neck, shaking from Jungkook’s teasings. “Tell me what you want, baby.”

“Kook, kook, kook,” Jimin chants stupidly, rubbing his now exposed co*ck onto his thigh to gain some friction.

“Look at you,” Jungkook muses with a faint smirk as he watches the way Jimin begins to impatiently ride him. “Baby is getting impatient… tell me, Jimin. Tell me what you want. I’ll give it to you good. I’ll give you anything. Baby, everything,” Jungkook licks a stripe up from Jimin’s neck and takes his ear into his mouth, nibbling and sucking on the lobe before whispering, “you have all of me,” and plunging a single finger into his tight hole simultaneously.

“A-ah!” Jimin squeals from surprise, but shakes and clenches tight onto the single finger with immense pleasure.

“Relax,” Jungkook soothes as he kisses his ears with gentle lips. “I’ll take care of you.”

Jungkook is slow as he pulls and pushes his finger in. His other hand is kneading Jimin’s butt, filling his palm with his skin.

Jimin starts to loosen up, breathing in soft and sweet moans and tongues at Jungkook’s neck.

“That’s it,” Jungkook encourages and starts to pick his pace up, thrusting his long fingers in and out. When Jimin gets used to one, Jungkook begins plunging two fingers into him, deep and hard. Jimin is drooling when Jungkook curls his fingers and scissors him, applying pressure against his walls, stimulating his nerves in pleasurable waves.

“So f*cking tight, baby. Can’t wait to f*ck my co*ck in you… y-you’d like that, huh? My pretty baby. My sweet, sweet Minnie.”

Jimin is slamming his ass down onto his fingers now, moaning and groaning against Jungkook’s body. It’s so sinful that it has Jungkook pulling back and shoving three digits into him in an animalistic pace.

“How does my fingers feel? You like that?”

Jimin is incoherent as he tries to speak, but Jungkook wants to hear how good it feels and how well he’s taking care of him sexually. He smacks his palm on one of Jimin’s cheeks, slapping him lightly, but hard enough he knows a red imprint of his hand will remain on him for the rest of the night.

“Tell me,” Jungkook orders. “How does it feel?”

“Good!” Jimin nearly screams when Jungkook pushes against a bundle of nerves, fingers rubbing along his prostate. “So, so good, Kookie. I feel so good. f*ck, you make feel so good!”

“Yeah?” Jungkook smirks. “Can my baby just come on my fingers? Or does your slu*tty hole wanna be filled up with my co*ck, hmm?”

“Yes, yes, yes!”

“Tell me what you want,” Jungkook scolds, slapping his ass once more, which causes Jungkook to bounce and yelp.

“I want you to f*ck me!” Jimin begs, grinding and circling his ass so that Jungkook’s fingers stay deep in him. Jungkook watches as Jimin is desperately rolling his body around his hips… watches as he sees Jimin start leaking out pre cum from his co*ck and onto Jungkook’s stomach. It’s so filthy and Jungkook is so incredibly turned on.

Jimin lifts his head up queasily, resting his chin on Jungkook’s chest and he pleads with him with pouty lips and pitiful, wide eyes.

“f*ck me, Koo,” Jimin begs softly. “Want you to f*ck me please…”

Jungkook has Jimin once again flat on his back in an instant. His hands are now rested against the back of his thighs as Jungkook bent him over in half, knees practically touching the sheets near Jimin’s shoulders. His dick is twitching at having Jimin present himself like a this -ready to get wrecked.

His hole is puckering, opening and squeezing as if patiently waiting to get filled.

And Jungkook isn’t going to keep him waiting any longer. He finally reaches over to his nightstand a second time, but this time successfully retrieving the lube, wanting to make sure Jimin is as comfortable as possible with their first time. He’s drenching them and making a complete mess as he’s dousing Jimin’s hole with the thick liquid, even shoving it inside him with his fingers to ensure his walls are equally as slicked up. He starts to tear apart a condom when Jimin is waving his hands in the air, catching his attention.

Jungkook is raising an eyebrow in confusion when Jimin starts pleading for him to leave out the condom.

“But, baby-” Jungkook starts to reason.

“No,” Jimin rejects, shaking his head. “I want to feel you, Koo. I want to feel all of you. Please, please, please? I’m safe. I swear I’m safe. I haven’t -aaahhh!” In the midst of Jimin babbling and pleading, Jungkook had already abandoned the condom in hand and coated his dick quickly with lube before pushing his head passed Jimin’s rim of muscle.

He didn’t need much convincing; Jungkook is hard and desperate watching Jimin squirm and plead that he f*ck him raw.

“Oh, f*ck!” Jimin gasps, shutting his eyes and clenching his fingers tight around the sheets from the sheer pressure of Jungkook entering him slowly. “You’re so big… so, so big. f*ck, feels so good,” he moans, voice vibrating from the intensity of having something so large enter him.

Jimin swears he can feel the outline of Jungkook’s co*ck in his stomach and it makes him feel hotter, wetter and hornier. He can’t get enough of Jungkook -can’t get enough of him even when Jungkook finally bottoms out.

Jungkook isn’t fairing any better. Jimin is tight, warm, and wet. He’s contracting, squeezing his co*ck in a so tightly Jungkook could come right then and there. Everything feels so good, but what pushes him over the edge is seeing Jimin all f*cked out below him. He’s drooling, and moaning in sinful gasps, his head is lolled back, exposing his marked neck, and there’s a sheen in the way his lips look, all swollen and spit ridden.

f*ck, he looks so beautiful. And he feels perfect. Everything about Park Jimin is just f*cking phenomenal.

And Jungkook is so incredibly lucky.

He falls to his elbows, leaving space so he’s not crushing Jimin from his weight. They’re close enough to swap spit; Jungkook is kissing Jimin sensually, moaning every now and then as he circles his hips in order for Jimin to get used to his length and girth.

Jimin tightens his hold on him, wrapping both his legs and arms around Jungkook’s body.

“Biggest I ever had,” Jimin moans, fanning Jungkook’s pride.

“Tightest I ever had,” Jungkook returns the compliment. “Lemme know when you’re ready…”

A few minutes pass, but neither minded. They’re both incredibly hard and aroused, and they’re kissing each other as if their life depended on it; Jungkook is sucking on Jimin’s tongue, loving the way spit is falling between their lips. Jimin loves it, too. He loves how messy they are, how unrefined and frantic they are with one another.

After a few more moments, Jimin is twisting under Jungkook, pleading for him to move. And Jungkook does; he pulls back and harshly thrusts back in. Jimin moves up each time he’s getting f*cked, body shivering from the intensity and pleasure coursing through his nerves each time Jungkook pistons into his prostate.

Jungkook is relieved to know that his house is built a few meters away from his neighbors, because he’s sure the sounds of their f*cking could be heard if they were any closer. Jimin is unhinged, practically screaming and moaning with no filter, mumbling how good he feels. And Jungkook is grunting with each plunge of his dick inside Jimin’s wet ass.

The sound is obscene whenever his co*ck sloshes inside his hole, pushing up against his walls and running his lengths around the lube. Their sweat starts building; perspiration falling from their forehead and down their bodies.

“Ah, ah, f*ck,” Jimin cries, reaching out for Jungkook to rake his fingernails down his back.

Jungkook winces, knowing that he’s probably going to have red streaks tomorrow, but he doesn’t care. The added sting only entices his drive, and he begins plowing into Jimin with no remorse -no regard. The sound of slapping skin loud and lewd.

“You’re so sweet, baby,” Jungkook smiles, leaning down to capture Jimin’s lips in a wet kiss. “You make the cutest noises and expressions. But your hole is so greedy…so f*cking sinful sucking me up like this. You’re so filthy,” Jungkook groans, licking all over Jimin’s mouth.

“M’filthy,” Jimin mumbles, shutting his eyes and controlling his breath. He feels the nerves start to pool in his stomach, can feel his org*sm building.

“Yeah, yeah you are,” Jungkook kisses. He’s close, too, but he’s holding it in as he f*cks Jimin harder and faster, wanting him to come around his co*ck first. “My filthy baby. My horny, sweet, Minnie!”

He rolls them over -Jungkook on his back and Jimin straddling him. However, Jimin doesn’t even have the thought of riding him when Jungkook has already planted his feet onto the bed and slams Jimin down in time as he thrusts up, f*cking him even harder. Jimin screams from the pleasure and c*ms from the sudden pressure.

He’s shaking from oversensitivity when Jungkook doesn’t stop thrusting into him. But it feels so good that Jimin doesn’t care, only shivers and falls onto Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook is startled when Jimin starts lapping at his nipple, pinching it between his teethe and running his tongue over them. It makes Jungkook grip onto Jimin’s waist tighter, and has him slamming his lithe body deeper onto his co*ck.

He’s so close, so f*cking close.

Watching Jimin coming undone, spilling himself all over his stomach and onto Jungkook’s has been the most erotic thing the younger has ever seen. He’s already thinking of ways to have Jimin like this again and again. Never wanting the sight of him f*cked out forgotten, never wanting this to be a one night thing, and never wanting to stop hearing Jimin moan and call out to him.

“I’m close, baby, so f*cking close. You make me feel so good! Gonna cum -I-I’m gonna f*cking cum!” Jungkook is about to pull Jimin off so he can cum on his stomach, but Jimin clenches on his shoulders and pushes himself down, not allowing Jungkook to pull out.

“Jimin!” Jungkook warns.

But Jimin starts riding him, stimulating Jungkook even more. The pressure and squeeze feels too good. Jungkook’s mind is getting hazy, and the coil in his stomach is tightening, threatening to spill his load at any second.

“J-Jimin, I’m gonna cum,” Jungkook warns again, trying desperately to get Jimin off.

“Inside!” Jimin begs -he feels his breath against his skin, hot and moist. “Cum inside me, Koo. I want you to cum inside me -want you to fill me up.”

Jungkook shuts his eyes and lets Jimin’s pleading words spill into his hears, flaming his heart, electrifying his nerves, and push him over the edge.

He doesn’t hold back as he lets Jimin slam himself hard on Jungkook co*ck in time with his org*sm. It’s the hardest org*sm Jungkook has ever felt, and he feels like every single bit of him is flooding into Jimin.

Jimin is shivering from the feel of Jungkook’s warm cum spilling into him, coating his insides with ribbons of white. It feels overwhelming and fulfilling, and Jimin is relishing all of it.

It takes a long time for Jungkook to feel himself again -his org*smic high too grand and peaked, he’s been floating in ecstasy for minutes, holding Jimin close as his abused hole milks him dry. His co*ck is pulsating, leaking out the last bits of cum into Jimin when Jungkook finds his breath and exhaustion hits him entirely.

“You’re unbelievable, Jimin,” Jungkook whispers. He’s softening, but he doesn’t pull out from Jimin. He’s too tired to even properly push Jimin to his side, so they stay entangled together. Jimin remains on top of him, his softening dick still in his cum filled ass as they relax in each other’s hold, sleep claiming them soon.

“I’m sleepy, Koo…” Jimin replies, eyes fluttering shut.

Jungkook hums and runs his fingertips lightly over Jimin’s back, pulling his shirt down to protect him from the cold now that their heated intimacy has ended.

“Sleep, baby,” Jungkook coos. He kisses the top of Jimin’s head, and throws the comforter that’s been shoved to the side, over them. “We’ll clean up in the morning.”

Jimin hums, and finds sleep instantly.

Jungkook doesn’t sleep right away, still finding ground after the out of body experience he’s just had with this beautiful man. He is tired, though. The night has been emotionally draining, but equally as fulfilling. It’s only when Jimin starts to snore when Jungkook starts finding peace. The sound of Jimin’s comfort and the feel of his entire body being wrapped by him, induces Jungkook into the best slumber he’s ever had.

_________________

The morning after, Jungkook doesn’t think he’d ever be so inclined to needing to have sex on a daily -that he can control himself. However, that’s proven false when he wakes to Jimin’s sleeping body in front of him, co*ck still in his hole, and Jungkook is easily aroused. He supposes he’s only like this with Jimin after the night they shared, or the fact that he’s awoken to such a lewd sight… but he’s horny and he feels himself hardening.

He can envision the future now: waking up to Jimin’s sleeping body next to him every morning, waking him with kisses, hearing him complain and giggle, before Jungkook has him wrapped in throes of pleasure, moaning and whimpering under his ministrations.

The imagination starts to manifest into reality when Jungkook proceeds to act out his vision.

He begins by peppering Jimin’s puffy, sleep induced face with light kisses all over. He’s so cute like this -peaceful and serene, with his cheeks pushed up against his dark gray, silky sheets, and lips parted with a little trace of drool. He’ll never get tired of the sight. He’ll never tire of Jimin’s presence, whether they’re like this, all cuddly and cute, in the act of their love making, or even when they’re at each other’s throats and worse breakdowns.

In the end, Jungkook knows he wants it all with Jimin.

Jungkook is keen on getting the smaller man clean, wanting him to wake up feeling fresh, and perhaps ready for another round. However, the need is immediately scrapped when Jungkook throws the comforter off of him, and rolls Jimin to his side.

Jimin’s body falls off of Jungkook, springing his co*ck free -hard and stiff- and Jungkook is presented with Jimin’s back… his cum spilling down his milky thighs.

And Jungkook swears he’s going feral from the sight.

A curious fingers trails along the liquid and Jungkook starts pressing it back into his hole, plugging him up so no more can spill out. Suddenly, a possessive need for him to keep Jimin filled with him… not wanting even his come to leak from his body.

It’s stupid and filthy, but Jungkook has half a mind when he’s just woken up and has Jimin all sinful next to him.

Jungkook lazily strokes his co*ck as he turns on his side to cradle Jimin to his chest and rest his lips against the mole on the back of his neck.

It’s ridiculous how much Jimin makes him feel like no one else has. Crazy to think of how unhinged he gets whenever he’s near. He’s never thought of anyone intimately in all of his months of mourning, but now that he’s had Jimin -had a taste and feel of him, it’s scary to see how insatiable he can get, how his body craves for his touch, his ears crave for his moans, and how his heart craves for him whole.

He just wants Jimin all the time -in every way.

Jungkook pulls his fingers out from Jimin curls his fingers behind Jimin’s knee and hikes his leg up to spread him open. With his other free hand, Jungkook guides his co*ck back into Jimin’s already stretched hole, groaning when he bottoms out and feels his cum from last night act as lube.

Opposite to how he’d been last night, Jungkook rocks into Jimin gently and softly. Slow and gradual thrusts -he’s not aiming to cum fast, he just wants to feel Jimin, slowly and carefully. He wants to prolong this moment of sustained euphoria; he hears Jimin start to stir and whimper and unconsciously push his ass up against Jungkook’s hips, grinding back into him.

“f*ck…” Jungkook groans quietly, hissing into Jimin’s ear before taking it into his mouth, sucking at his lobe. He travels further down, leaving wet kisses down his jaw and neck, and starts mouthing next to the faint purplish bruises he’d left the night prior.

So gorgeous. He looks so beautiful like this.

“So beautiful, so beautiful,” Jungkook mumbles, pressing his lips up against his shoulder.

“Koo,” Jimin purrs. f*cking purrs.

Jungkook drops his hands from Jimin’s thighs and quickly wraps around his torso, pulling him in. The sudden movement has Jimin moaning in quiet sobs, and he falls against Jungkook’s body, legs bent in order for Jimin to open himself up more so he can get thrusted into easily. Jimin cranes his neck backwards and Jungkook coos at the way Jimin’s eyes are still peacefully shut, but his lips are pursed, asking for kisses.

He does so immediately; he lifts one hand to support Jimin’s neck as he brings him closer, locking their lips. It’s languid and passionate. They swipe their tongues at each other, exploring every surface area of each other’s mouth, and moaning at the sensation.

Jungkook opens his eyes, wanting to this etch this visual into memory. He doesn’t expect Jimin to open his eyes at the same time, and there’s suddenly a clash of deep brown and light honey as they stare into each other, happiness radiating all around. Jungkook can’t help but let the bubble of joy erupt from his lips, and he chuckles as they kiss, which only makes Jimin giggle.

The things that little sound does to Jungkook’s heart -he swears he’ll make Jimin laugh like this everyday.

“Good morning,” Jungkook greets, letting his lips brush up against Jimin’s cheeks as he continues to gently piston into him.

Jimin shakes, feeling his org*sm near, but he smiles into Jungkook and kisses his nose. “Good morning…” he moans.

“I’m close, baby…” Jungkook groans, firmly planting his hands around Jimin’s hips and bringing him down to meet his co*ck roughly. “Want to fill you up one more time. Please? Please, baby?”

Jimin is nodding his head eagerly and finds purchase in Jungkook’s neck, arching into his body. “Yes, yes, yes,” he begs. “Close, Koo, touch me, please…” he begs.

Jungkook doesn’t need to be asked twice, and he quickly wraps his hand around Jimin’s shaft, pumping him in time with his thrusts.

“Oh my gosh,” Jimin gasps, pushing himself further into Jungkook from the intense feelings. It didn’t take long for Jimin to cum all over Jungkook’s hand, spilling onto him in heaps of white liquid.

Jungkook’s eyes darken when he feels the substance stick around his fingers. He pulls out of Jimin quickly, shushing him gently when he hears the smaller man whine from the emptiness. In seconds he has Jimin flat on his stomach, ass up, and cheeks spread to showcase his swollen, pink rim. Jungkook starts stroking his hard, leaking co*ck with his soiled hand, spreading Jimin’s cum all over him before pushing himself back into Jimin in one hard thrust.

“Feels so good, so f*cking good!” Jungkook moans, slapping himself against Jimin so hard the bed is shaking. The room is filled with obscene noises -from the squelch of both Jimin and Jungkook’s come sloshing within his ass, the pound of Jungkook’s hips on Jimin’s ass, the bed creaking and thudding against the wall, and their filthy moans and talk.

Jungkook bites his lips, and feels himself release into Jimin with one last thrust. He watches as his co*ck start pulsating, pumping out every single come in his system. And it feels so good to see Jimin so filled to the brim, his cum starts leaking out.

He collapses onto Jimin’s back, but keeps himself supported by his knees and elbows so he’s not suffocating Jimin. He kisses his neck once more and smiles. And then he realizes with mounting horror…

“Oh, f*ck,” he groans, shifting his hips to dig deeper into Jimin. Jimin whimpers with the constant pressure against his prostate, still sensitive from his org*sm. “f*ck… I’m still hard,” Jungkook whines, feeling embarrassed for his horny state of being. He’s never been like this before… and he’s a little ashamed that Jimin has to feel this… and see this side of him.

But of course, Jungkook has nothing to worry about. Because with Jimin, he’ll always feel safe and protected.

“Carry me to the shower…” Jimin sighs. “I’ll take care of you there.”

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook whispers, rolling off of Jimin immediately.

“No, no, no,” Jimin whimpers, rolling onto his side and pouts at Jungkook. “Keep it in… I don’t like feeling empty so soon…”

And Jungkook doesn’t know how he does it. He’s flabbergasted at the way Jimin looks so innocent even when he’s asking him to stuff his dick back into his ass. His eyes are shining with need, his lips are full and wet, his cheeks are extremely rosy, and Jimin looks every bit of angelic, if not for the filth he’s spewing.

Jungkook adores him.

He’s nodding his head as he lifts himself up from the bed, pulls Jimin into his arms and lifts him up. Jimin is yelps and races to encircle his arms around Jungkook’s neck and his legs around his waist. Once Jimin is secure, Jungkook positions himself around his rim, and helps him sink down on him. Jimin lets out a breath of relief in time with Jungkook’s moan.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Jungkook says and makes his way into his bathroom.

Jungkook still has Jimin wrapped around him as he tempers the water. He’s thrusting into him slowly, pulling light and sweet groans from Jimin. However, as he steps into the shower, Jimin signals Jungkook to put him down. Jungkook pouts, but he does so… he’s still hard, and thoroughly stimulated, he wonders if a shower would help bring it down.

He has to think of Jimin… he wrecked his hole twice now; surely he needs a break.

But Jimin pushes Jungkook’s back to the shower walls and gets on his knees in front of him. Jimin’s holding Jungkook with his small hand, pumping up and down his shaft, and looking up to him with such a hooded gaze, it makes him feel like coming on the spot. Jungkook is imagining it -how he can come on his face, smear the white substance with the head of his co*ck and push it into Jimin’s mouth for a taste.

The thought sends blood down onto his groin, throbbing at the need for that to happen.

When Jimin starts to lick his co*ck, slow and teasingly from his balls to his head, Jungkook is losing it. His vision blackens for a moment from the immense pleasure, and he’s begging Jimin to take him in. But he doesn’t so quickly; for a few more seconds, Jungkook is mouthing at his head, swirling his tongue around to coat him in his saliva thoroughly.

Jungkook can’t stop the onslaught of moans slipping from his lips, echoing around the enclosed bathroom.

Then, Jimin reaches out to take his hands in his and starts guiding him to grip the back of his head. Jungkook is looking at him with a little confusion, but instantly understands when their eyes meet. Jimin releases his hands after making sure Jungkook has a grip on his wet har and grips onto his waist, pulling him in so quick, Jungkook is startled by the way he feels his co*ck hit the back of his throat.

“sh*t!” Jungkook shouts. “Oh f*ck, f*ck! J-Jimin!”

Jungkook’s a mess, moaning incoherently and tightening his hold on Jimin’s hair as the smaller man he deep-throating him with no mercy.

He can’t explain it. The feeling of his co*ck sliding down Jimin’s throat in such a fast pace, feeling the way his tongue swirls around him, hearing the spit and slide, and seeing his dick disappear and reappear from his plush, pink lips is pushing Jungkook over the edge and he’s sobbing.

After a while, he pulls Jimin out forcibly. Jimin looks just as wrecked. Spit is connecting the tip of Jungkook’s co*ck to his lips and tongue. His mouth is still open, tongue still lapped out and ready to take Jungkook more.

Jungkook thumbs away the spit that smeared along his cheeks and smiles so fondly at him. He’s gentle, caressing his face in the palm of his hands, whispering what a dream he is, and how much of a f*cking holy slu*t he looks, before he’s turning Jimin’s back into the opposite wall and gently shoving his dick right back into his mouth.

This time, Jimin doesn’t pull Jungkook into him, but rather, Jungkook is now f*cking his mouth relentlessly.

“You take it so good -take it so f*cking good, Jimin. f*ck!”

When Jimin moans around him, the vibration sets him off. Jungkook is teetering between sane and insanity from the intense pleasure thrumming throughout his nerves. His toes start to curl and his grip on Jimin’s hair start to tighten he’s sure it’s causing Jimin pain.

“I’m going to cum! f*ck I’m going to cum! Where?” Jungkook is screaming desperately. “Tell me where!”

Jimin only pulls Jungkook’s hips forward, taking Jungkook in deeper. And that’s enough of an answer when Jungkook finally releases, spilling down Jimin’s throat with hard spurts of cum. Jungkook shows mercy when he pulls out at the end of his release, worrying that Jimin might start choking, and spills the rest of his cum over Jimin’s face. He gets a good amount on him, coloring his pale skin with white.

Jungkook watches as he starts opening his eyes, come clustering over his eyelashes. He watches when Jimin runs his tongue over his mouth and slips in his come and swallows.

“Filthy,” Jungkook whispers before dropping down onto his knees and kissing him, not caring that he’d just f*cked his throat, and not caring if he can taste himself on Jimin’s tongue.

Jungkook doesn’t know what to do. He’s freaking out as he’s cooking up breakfast and Jimin is in his room changing into a set of clothes he prepared for him. Their sex is far from innocent -Jungkook didn’t even know he could be so rough and provocative as he had been with Jimin. He’s never acted like that before, not even with Eunwoo.

When he’s with Jimin, he can’t think of his late fiance. Lately, he never comes into mind. But when Jungkook is alone, sometimes he can’t help but be reminded of the differences. He’s never had sex with Eunwoo like he had with Jimin.

f*ck, with Jimin it’s intense and filled with mounting passion. A whole new side of Jungkook wanting nothing more than to dominate and make him feel good engulfed him completely. And he’s never felt so whole, wanted and completed.

Sex with Jimin is a whole other experience, and Jungkook can’t wait to discover more.

But damn, he never expected things to simmer so fast. Granted, he’d been the one to initiate it, but now that he has a clear head, Jungkook is lost.

He doesn’t regret it -no, he never will. But he’s clueless as to how to move on from here, what he should do next, and how to act. He’s never courted anyone; others courted him. Eunwoo had been the persistent one in the beginning and it was Jungkook that gave him a chance.

But Jungkook doesn’t know where he stands with Jimin. But despite that, no matter what their status is, Jungkook knows that Jimin deserves to be courted properly. Even if they’d gone out of order and f*cked first before dating.

Though, how does he ask someone out on a date when just recently he plowed into the other person’s mouth in the shower after he’s come into him twice?

Jungkook’s face starts heating up, can feel his blood boil the same way the egg are in the pot. There’s no calm and collected Jungkook in this household anymore; things have drastically changed. Yet he doesn’t mind it if it means having Jimin in his space more.

He’s dropping in packs of ramen in the boiling pot when he hears Jimin shuffle in. Jungkook is too embarrassed to turn around and greet him, so he hums and acts like he hadn’t noticed. A lie -at this point, Jungkook can feel Jimin’s presence from a mile away.

He’s unaware of how fondly Jimin is staring at him as he perches his body onto the stool of his kitchen island, watching as the younger starts cutting up vegetables and sausages to throw into the ramen.

“Don’t you have work?” Jungkook hears Jimin call out. “You usually leave an hour earlier around this time whenever you’re at my place.”

Ah… work. Jungkook does recall being scheduled today, but after what he’s been through the night before, he’s sure Jin would understand.

In fact, he hadn’t even looked at his phone since, wondering whether or not his hyungs blew him up with messages and calls. He’d have to update them immediately after breakfast.

Jungkook shakes his head and starts taking out the bowls, still refusing to turn around.

“I think I need a day off today.”

Jimin hums beautifully in agreement. “Same here. I can’t feel my ass or legs,” he states shamelessly, which makes Jungkook sputter out the soup he’d been tasting from his mouth. It makes Jimin laugh.

“How are you so-” Jungkook is ready to scold him for being too blunt, but when he sees Jimin swallowed in nothing but his large sweater, which spills up until an inch from his knees, showcasing his perfect thighs and legs, he bites his words. “-beautiful?” he trails instead. He melts at the sight of Jimin preening at the compliment, eyes turning into crescents and cheeks puffing into rose buds.

Jungkook could have this forever -could have him forever. He just needed to treat him right… but the pressure scares him because he’s not sure how to keep him. That’s what scares him most.

“I really like you, Jimin,” Jungkook whispers, wanting his feelings conveyed even more know that they were well rested and no longer floating from their ecstasy. “I’m sorry for being… uh- you know? Um…”

“A jerk?” Jimin helps finish with a smile.

Jungkook glares at him playfully for a moment before cracking into grins.

“I understand, Koo. You may never know what it feels like to lose a Taehyung…” Jungkook finds himself rolling his eyes and laughing at that. “But I’ll never know what it feels like to lose a fiance. I’m sorry if you ever felt like I’m shoving myself into your life… I didn’t mean to be like that. I just… I like you, a lot.”

Jungkook leans forward on the kitchen island across from Jimin. He tilts his head to the side so he has a better view of Jimin’s pouty lips before placing a kiss there, sweet and simple. They break apart after a few seconds, holding each other’s gaze in peaceful stillness.

“I want you in my life,” Jungkook assures, pressing another chaste kiss on Jimin’s forward. “You don’t have to doubt that anymore. I’m sorry it took this long for me to realize it.”

Jimin only smiles that blinding and beautiful smile Jungkook adores before he points to the overflowing pot behind him. His giggling when Jungkook jumps from the shock and quickly try to remedy the situation. When Jimin stands beside him, all cute and warm, helping him set the dishes, Jungkook is no longer.

He doesn’t need to overthink with Jimin. Jimin likes him even when he hadn’t put any effort in himself. Jimin likes him for him. So he settles in calmness, just enjoying Jimin’s presence as they move their bowls of ramen to the living room table and start a reality show they’re not too keen on paying attention to since they’re talking over it.

He could live forever like this.

He watches as Jimin slurps up his noodles, the soup splashing all over his face -something Eunwoo would think is unrefined and mannerless. But to Jungkook, he thinks he’s perfect. To Jungkook, Jimin is the most exquisite and richest person he’s ever met.

Jungkook smiles as he thumbs away the soup droplets at the corner of his mouth, and when Jimin looks to him and thanks him all bubbly, Jungkook knows he can’t let this go. He can’t ever let Jimin go. It’s the happiest he’s ever been in months. Probably ever.

“Let’s go out today,” Jungkook offers, the request falling easily from his lips; it’s that simple. He’s wondering why just earlier he’s been freaking out over how he should ask him, but now everything feels right and easy with Jimin near.

“Where to?”

“Anywhere. Wherever you want. I just… I really want to spend time with you.”

Jimin tilts his head to his shoulders and hums, putting on act of heaving pondering as he leaves Jungkook with an empty answer. He’s teasing him -Jungkook knows, but it doesn’t make it any less nerve wrecking waiting for Jimin to either accept or decline him.

“Jimin,” Jungkook whines when it’s been a minute and Jimin had forsaken the conversation entirely to slurp up more of his noodles.

Jimin mischievously smiles up to Jungkook and light punches his shoulder. “I’m kidding. Of course I’d like to go out with you. Just give me a moment! I have to call off…”

“What if they won’t let you?” Jungkook frowns. He never took in account of Jimin’s job; he’d been lucky that his boss was Jin.

“It’ll be fine,” Jimin reassures as he springs up to his feet. “I’ll be right back. I should call Namjoonie, too.”

Jungkook watches with a blush when he sees Jimin, in nothing but his long sleeves and legs, running toward his bedroom where they spent hours in hearing each other’s moans. He sighs content and happy.

He supposes he should contact his hyungs now that Jimin is distracted, because once Jimin is done and back, all attention is once again going to him.

He’s right when he finally gets to his phone, set on silent, and sees all the missed calls and messages from each of his hyungs individually. So he creates a group chat with them all to ease their worries.

Jungkook:

Hey

It takes a moment for the first to reply to come. But when Hoseok comes in with all caps, the rest follows through.

Hoseok hyung:

Hey? HEY?! That’s really all you have to say after leaving like you did last night? The audacity? I never RAISED YOU LIKE THIS JUNGKOOKIE!

Jungkook smirks, but rolls his eyes at Hoseok’s dramatic meltdown. Though he’s not one to judge considering that’s how he had been last night.

Jin Hyung:

You couldn’t have at least called? Let us know if you were home safe?? Kookie I’m serious I was gonna burn the entire city down

Yoongi Hyung:

Are you alright?

Jungkook:

I’m okay, hyung (:

Hoseok/Jin/Yoongi Hyung:

…(typing)

Hoseok hyung:

Did he really?

Jin Hyung:

Was that a-

Yoongi Hyung:

Wow, what happened? Hooked up with Jimin?

Hoseok hyung:

Whoa! Seriously?

Jin Hyung:

Wait! Huh? What??

Jungkook:

I’ll talk to you guys later. Jiminie is back.

Yoongi Hyung:

We’ll talk later. Take care, Kook. And Jimin, too!

Hoseok hyung:

😱😱😱😱😱!!!

Jin Hyung:

IS THIS WHY YOU’RE NOT AT WORK RN??

You’re lucky I love you 😑

“What’re you giggling about?” Jimin asks as he slots himself in Jungkook’s lap. Jungkook welcomes it, even drops his phone in favor of running his hands over Jimin’s spread thighs. He lays his head back into the curve of his couch so he has a better view of Jimin looming over him.

“My hyungs are having a field day knowing I’m with you right now.”

“That’s not new.”

“It is when Yoongi hyung adds that I hooked up with you.”

Jimin gawks at that, blush pooling his face so fast Jungkook can’t help but coo and pinch his cheeks. “He did not,” he gasped.

“Why? Are you shy?” Jungkook teases.

“No,” Jimin frowns, hitting Jungkook’s chest with his small fists. “I’m more than hook up, right?”

Jungkook is caught off guard by that. So Jimin isn’t offended by being exposed to his hyungs like that, but rather mislabeled as a mere hook up? It sends fire in Jungkook’s heart knowing Jimin wants something more from them. And he agrees.

Jungkook kisses Jimin’s button nose and smiles, feeling every bit of happiness engulf his body, tickling his fingertips and filling his heart.

“You’re not,” he whispers, brushing his lips against Jimin’s -featherlike and gentle. “You’re so much more than that.”

“Will you take me out now?”

Jungkook nods his head. “Why don’t you borrow my joggers? I still have to wash our clothes from last night so you can’t wear them right now. I’ll clean up the dishes while I wait for you and we can head out after.”

They kiss a little more before Jimin parts from him. Jungkook was the first to stop them, worried he’d take Jimin a third time within 24 hours on his couch. He couldn’t resist his hard on when Jimin was perched on his lap, grinding into him as he sticks his tongue down his mouth. But he had a plan, and he wanted to spend a lot of it outside with Jimin, so he shoves past his sexual needs and ushers Jimin into his room to start changing.

“You’re no fun,” Jimin would tease as he skips into his room.

“And you’re a minx!” Jungkook would shout back.

“Am not!” Jimin laughs, his tune fading the further down he goes into the hallway.

They’re in the car, in comfortable silence as Jungkook drives to the first venue. Jimin finds Jungkook’s hand resting at the gear shift, so he softly places his palm above his, wanting to feel his body heat permeate on his. Jungkook turns his hand over, opening it up so Jimin could lace through them.

They smile at the contact.

“Your house seems a little empty,” Jimin shares, thinking back on the monotone vibe of his rather large apartment complex. It had shades of black, gray, white and a little bit of burnt amber from his wood decor. “Do you like it that way?”

Jungkook shrugs. “I mean I like plain colors like that -by that, I mean my blacks and grays.”

“I noticed.” Jungkook looks to Jimin, grinning when he sees the other eyeball his outfits. He remembers how shocked Jimin looked when he opened his walk in closet to display his many identical black shirts and shoes. The colored clothes, he supposes, are Eunwoo’s. But they’ve already been folded and stashed in luggages. Jungkook couldn’t bear seeing them after two months of the crash.

“I look good in black,” Jungkook defends.

“Mmm, yes you do,” Jimin squeezes his hand.

“Stop that,” Jungkook laughs, peeling his eyes away from Jimin so he can focus on the road.

“Stop what?”

“Seducing me, you heathen!”

“I-wha-” Jimin splutters, mouth gaping at the word. “Heathen? Did you just-“ Jimin lets out a cold, bitter laugh, but Jungkook knows he’s not really mad, not when Jimin is still holding his hand. “Says the man who went ape sh*t on me twice! Shall we recall the amount of times filth spilled from your mouth when you were f*cking me? Who knew you had a dirty mouth!Heathen. Unbelievable!”

Jungkook only smiles wider, tenderly running his fingers over Jimin’s hand.

“You’re the cutest,” he says.

It’s a drastic personality change; he’s sure back then, he’d scold Jimin for lashing out the way he just did. He’d think he was childish and immature for spewing such profanities, but now, he only sees a ball of fluff puffing in frustration in the most endearing way.

What finding love in someone does to a person.

“Going back to your house,” Jimin simmers done, a mere compliment placating him entirely. Jungkook keeps note of that. “Do you like it empty like that?”

Jungkook never really thought about it. In a house, it only mattered who was in it. Who can make it feel like home, not necessarily the belongings within. So he shrugs his shoulders in response.

“It doesn’t really matter… it would always feel empty,” Jungkook spoke honestly.

“Jungkook…”

Jungkook doesn’t like where this is going. He doesn’t want to feel somber and pathetic, not today at least. He’s going on a date with Jimin, and Jimin deserves nothing but uplifting moods.

“Don’t worry, Jimin. Just stay over often and it won’t feel so lonely anymore,” he meant it as a joke when he laughs along side the suggestion, but when Jimin perks up and agrees, Jungkook doesn’t realize that it’s everything he wants.

“Wait, are you serious?” Jungkook questions, a little hop in his tone. “You’re willing to stay over again?”

“I mean you can’t always come over at my place.”

“I like your place,” Jungkook admits. He likes how tiny it feels, a similar feeling he gets when he looks at Jimin. His home is bright and vibrant, full of life and Jimin’s passions and adventures, of his friends and his family. His home felt like a home. It’s more than what Jungkook could say about his.

“Yeah, but you have a raining shower head. And another shower head that comes at you from the side,” Jimin gushes.

Jungkook playfully scoffs at that. “So you’re only coming over to take advantage of my shower?”

“And your bed,” Jimin adds matter of factly. “Softest bed I’ve ever laid on.”

“You barely slept on it,” Jungkook snorts. “You were on my body most of the times.”

“Mmm, you’re right. But who’s fault is that?”

“Yours,” Jungkook deadpans.

Jimin squeezes his head and lets out a breathy laugh. “Unbelievable,” he breathes out.

The rest of the drive stay that way, light banters that go back and forth, prying in to each other’s life to get to know each other more than they already have. Jungkook is still a little reserved, not wanting to talk to Jimin about Eunwoo, but he promises he’ll come to with time. And Jungkook is grateful when Jimin is understanding and tells him to take his time.

The view comes into view, and Jimin starts gyrating in his seat.

“No way, no way, no way!” Jimin squeals and lets go of Jungkook’s hand to plant them firmly onto the window. “The flower field? You brought me to the flower field?” He whips his head toward Jungkook, and the younger can see the unshed tears in his eyes and knows it’s from happiness. “You remembered?”

There’s been a brief moment in time when Jimin complained to Jungkook about missing out on a school field trip to the flower fields. He’s been sad about it, but never got a chance to go, even with Tae. Fast forward years later, and Jimin would meet someone who would take him there. Jungkook would be that person.

“I remember everything you tell me, Jimin.”

“Thank you…” Jimin whispers, taking Jungkook’s hand with both of his this time. “We’re gonna have so much fun!”

Jungkook glances back toward his back seat and eyes his camera bag. It’s been untouched for many years, neglected and forgotten, collecting dust in his closet. He decided when he went to change this morning that he’d capture these moments. He’ll have something to look back on -he’ll make his own memories and collect them.

He’ll take as many photos as he wants of Jimin. And he’ll frame them, keep them in his space so that when Jimin isn’t near him physically, he’ll still have his presence and shine. And he’ll take photos with the both of them, so Jimin can hang them up like he does with everyone else. He wants to be in Jimin’s presence also, even in his absence.

They’re about decades of shots in as they stroll through the field when Jimin begs Jungkook for a solo shot using his phone.

“Please, Koo? Just one picture.”

Jungkook shies away from the camera by placing his hand over Jimin’s phone and refusing. “Your one will turn into thousands!”

“Please!” Jimin pouts, which proves effective because after seconds of trying to hold his stance, he relents.

Jungkook is awkward when Jimin tells him to smile. He can smile fine when he’s taking a photo with Jimin, but having his photo taken by himself feels extremely foreign to him. It’s making his skin crawl and he feels uncomfortable, but he tries his best because it’s Jimin that’s asking. However, of course, little person reader Jimin sees right through Jungkook’s facade.

“What?” Jungkook tries to play off when he sees Jimin frowning.

“You okay, Koo?”

“Sorry,” Jungkook mumbles. “It’s just a little weird.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jimin assures. “Koo?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re one of my greatest happiness.”

And Jungkook absolutely melts. He’s looking at Jimin above him, with the sun shining down from the back, creating a halo effect around him; he looks like an angel sent from Heaven. He might as well be since Jungkook feels like he’s being saved by him. There’s nothing more serene than being Jimin’s happiness -because his smile is the purest thing on Earth, and anyone that can grant him that look is worthy to be in his presence.

He sighs at the truth floating amidst them -Jungkook adores him.

There’s no doubt about it. He adores Park Jimin. And everything about him.

He blinks twice when he hears a camera shutter. He blinks thrice when he notices the phone in Jimin’s hand and the red light beeping from his camera stationed to his side on a tripod. But he can’t think beyond that because when Jimin pulls back to review the photo he had just taken, the smaller man had an expression of pure bliss -Jungkook did that. He put that look on Jimin’s face, and he’s sure, the picture he’s reviewing of Jungkook, held the same expression.

“Jimin,” Jungkook called out from the bed of grass. He outstretches his arms and beckons for Jimin to walk to him. “Come here.”

Jimin isn’t prepared to be snatched, his arm being pulled by Jungkook into the small meadow that’s slightly secluded from the rest of the flower field. They’re by themselves as they roll into the ground, Jimin in his arms, as he blows kisses into his hair and onto his cheeks.

Jimin is every bit of Jungkook’s happiness all the same.

Jungkook:

When you see this, what’s your first thought?

Hoseok Hyung:

you’re completely whipped

& excuse me?? is this Jungkook IN FRONT of a camera?

Jin Hyung:

That smile tho… and that’s honey dripping from your eyes… what goes on???

Yoongi Hyung:

Is this because of Jimin?

Hoseok Hyung:

😱?!

Jungkook:

Hoseok Hyung:

THE CONTEXT JUNGKOOK! I NEED THE f*ckING CONTEXT!

Once again, Jungkook leaves it at that. He switches it back to silent and allows his hyung to continue to blast him. He won’t pay attention to it, though, since he has Jimin returning from the food vendors with a few fish sticks in a cup and drink in his head. He’s skipping toward him, without a care in the world, and Jungkook thinks it should always be like that.

Jimin should never have to worry about anything. So long as his smile is always intact. They eat and talk, stroll a little more through the field and drive back into the city.

However, the two of them are far from ready to end their date. So as Jungkook speeds through the freeway, he gives Jimin free reign over what they should do and the location.

“Let’s do an arcade!” Jimin suggests as he scrolls through his phone quickly. “And then get dinner around the street vendors and have a picnic near the Han River as the sun sets!”

An arcade?

Jungkook chews on his lips. Honestly, he’d been thinking maybe Jimin wanted a nice dinner out in a fancy restaurant overlooking the city scape. That, or possibly watch a live show -he knows there’s a musical dance performance in the outskirts of Gangnam they could drive to. He never expected Jimin wanting to do something so simple… or rather, something so playful for their first date.

Distantly he remembers all the dates he and Eunwoo had gone to. Though it was rare, the two did go out once in awhile, not including business trips and company parties. However, if not all, then most of their outings had always been to dine in a five star restaurant, or catch a show. Jungkook thought that’s how it is between adults -surely that’s how it’s mostly portrayed in the movies he’s seen.

So he ponders as Jimin taps away at his phone screen.

Is this a test? Is this something Jimin plotted to test whether or not Jungkook could be romantic? Is he testing his maturity?

“Are you sure?” He finds himself asking. There’s uncertainty and a little judgment in his tone; he can’t help it after being this way for so long, but he still inwardly cringes, hoping Jimin doesn’t take offense to it.

Fortunately the blonde hyung doesn’t. “Yeah! Don’t you think it’s fun?”

Jungkook’s mind is going a mile a minute not knowing how to answer. How would Jimin want him to answer? Did he want him to agree or disagree?

Jungkook decides on the later. They’re both adults -it’s ridiculous to think an arcade and street food is actually what Jimin wants to do. He’s teasing him, like he usual does. He’s long let go of that side of him; that’s not the side Jimin wants. It’s not the side Jimin fell for.

He has to be what Jimin wants. He needs to be cool. He needs to have Jimin stay. He can feel his anxiety start to build up with the concerning thoughts floating around in his head. f*ck, he can’t screw this up.

His hands on the wheel tighten, whitening his knuckles from the strain. “Of course not,” he laughs and even to him it sounds feigned and forced. “We aren’t kids, right? I know you’re just kidding. Tell me, what restaurant do you want to go to? There’s a good steak place down the road. Five stars-”

“Stop the car,” Jimin cuts in blankly.

“J-Jimin?”

“Pull up at the curb over there,” Jimin points to an empty parking stall across a few stores and cafes. He’s not looking at Jungkook, which makes the hair on the younger’s skin rise. His tone isn’t velvety and light, but more serious and detached, which makes the bile in Jungkook’s throat rise from the sheer paranoia he feels.

In his need to not screw things up, had Jungkook already done so?

Jungkook does as he’s told, not wanting to frustrate Jimin further. Is he frustrated? Jungkook isn’t sure, but he’s certain the other isn’t happy. The situation breaks Jungkook within -he feels himself move on autopilot, mind drifting, and his body is stiff as he turns gently to the side and reverse into a park.

He’s scared to look at Jimin, afraid that it’ll only confirm his suspicions that the other is possibly annoyed at him. When he pushes the button to turn his engine off, his heart sinks when Jimin is quickly pushing forward the passenger seat and swinging his body out.

Scenarios play out in his head, and flashes of painful memories cripple his nerves. He remembers this all too much: Jungkook says or does something and Eunwoo leaves. He leaves and doesn’t talk to him, abandoning Jungkook a mess of emotions as he figures out what to do in order for the other to simply forgive him. Because everything is his fault… and even when he’s with someone as patient as Jimin, he’s still f*cking it up.

An apology is there on his tongue, ready to plead as he shuts his eyes and musters enough to courage to get out of the car and get Jimin back. He’s ready, but Jimin beats him to it when he’s facing a cafe nearby, beckoning Jungkook over with a wave of his hand.

“I want to try this cafe, do you mind?”

It’s plenty disorientating when he assesses the openness in Jimin’s body language, as if he hadn’t distinctly demanded for Jungkook to stop driving, or make no effort to look at him when he does so. But he looks innocent now, eyes glittering with the same fondness that matches Jimin’s purity. Jungkook is still a little on guard and concerned when he releases a breath and smiles, making his way to Jimin tentatively.

Was it all in his imagination? Did he just think Jimin is annoyed at him? Did he mistake his tone?

They make it to the register almost immediately since there isn’t a line to start off with. The place looks relatively empty and mundane -Jungkook wonders what it is about this cafe that has Jimin so intrigued he had to stop in the midst of their drive. A little nerve in his mind is telling him that it’s all in excuse to get away from him; Jungkook is almost convinced that maybe Jimin just couldn’t take being in an enclosed space with him any longer, needing a breather in form of a random cafe he spots first on the side of the road.

Each though deflates Jungkook’s confidence and spirit. He’s feeling heavy as he tries to take his wallet out when Jimin starts ordering.

“One iced Americano, but could you double up on the espresso?” Jimin turns to him, face calculating as he takes in Jungkook’s desolate expression. “And for you?” He asks afterwards.

Jungkook never liked coffee because of its bitterness. He has a very sensitive nose and tastebud; anything too strong irritates his senses and that includes anything bitter. However, he’s learned in the world of corporate lifestyles that a refined taste revolves around appreciating defined flavors -coffee amongst them. He’s managed to avoid the drink for the most part, because despite how well he is in feigning his attitude, he can’t control the expression he makes when tasting something so burnt. Eunwoo has allowed him to forego the drink when proven he simply can’t fake liking it, but Jimin is someone else entirely, unaware of his childish flavors palette.

He’s not sure why he can’t just be honest despite Jimin being nothing but that to him in all of their time together. And Jungkook is usually quite blunt with Jimin in return, never holding back when he’s scolding him over tedious and petty things. Yet he still has trouble letting go. He’s terrified of being someone Jimin disapproves of -he’s sure he won’t be able to handle the rejection.

So f*ck it, he’ll try to get through this; it’s only coffee.

“I’ll have the same.”

Jimin makes a face that Jungkook isn’t sure how to comprehend. It unnerves him, but he calms himself down when he assumes that Jimin only reacted that way because he doesn’t want him to pay for their drinks.

“Could you get us a seat?” Jimin asks sweetly, and Jungkook nods dumbly, dismissing himself almost immediately to situate himself into an empty booth across the room.

He’ll listen. He won’t screw up. He won’t make him mad.

It should be simple, Jungkook concludes. Just listen to him and do whatever it is that makes him happy. It’s that simple and Jimin will stay.

After a few minutes, Jimin returns with three drinks in a tray. Weird, considering he had only ordered two when he left, and there’s no one else between them that had wanted a third drink. Unless Jimin couldn’t decided in the end what he wanted. Or he’s planning to see someone after? Maybe he bought the third drink for someone else? Jungkook bites his lip -he shouldn’t question him. It’ll make him think he’s distrustful and that’s the thing Jungkook wanted Jimin to worry about… besides, it’s his money; he can spend it on whatever or whomever he wanted to.

That doesn’t make the feeling any more comforting.

Jimin is passing him his drink and straw. He purses his lips around his drink and sucks, never once losing eye contact with him.

It’s making him nervous, because he can’t drink this coffee without giving him away. Why couldn’t he just order a damn latte? At least then he could stomach the taste since the milk and foam heavily overpowers the bitterness of the caffeine.

“Drink, Koo,” Jimin urges softly.

Jungkook can feel his insides deteriorating at the light command. This is it; Jimin will know he’s lying and wasted his cash on something Jungkook didn’t want because he’s too much of a coward to say otherwise. He’ll think of him as someone pathetic because he can’t handle something as basic as coffee. He’ll think he’s ridiculous because he’s been preaching over how to be an adult and yet he can’t even act like one.

He supposes it’s a good thing. He at least he got to spend an amazing night with him… and an even better morning. He at least got to hear his confession before he messed it all up. He at least had several months cradled in his warmth.

He can’t even cry over it right now, but he will afterwards -he just doesn’t want Jimin to see him as a mess anymore than he already had. Especially not in public -once is enough.

“You don’t like coffee, huh?” Jimin observed, reaching over to pull away the plastic cup from in front of him. Jungkook watches with a blank expression the same time his feelings start going numb.

Act okay. Act okay. Act okay. Level your mind. Still your heart, Jungkook reminds himself.

“Why’d you order coffee, Koo?”

At least he’s still calling him Koo… he wonders how long that’ll last.

“Can we be serious?” Jimin asks, smile gone, but still radiating warmth. He doesn’t feel cold and distant anymore, but inviting and comforting. Jungkook is drawn in despite the contraction he feels in his heart. But he trusts Jimin not to break him, even if he decides Jungkook isn’t worth it, he knows that the other is too pure to just drop him. He’ll let him down gently and kindly… because that’s who Jimin is.

And Jungkook doesn’t deserve him…

“Yes,” Jungkook answers faintly, voice lost from the pain.

“Hey,” Jimin smiles this time, reaching out to grasp his hands that lays on the table below them. “Relax, Koo. You’re not in trouble or anything. I just want you to be a hundred percent honest with me, okay?”

It’s the least Jungkook could do now, so he nods.

“You don’t like coffee.” It wasn’t a question and more of a statement.

Jungkook nods his head. Jimin nods his head with him and starts pushing the other drink toward him. It has whipped cream and caramel drizzles. Jungkook’s a little confused, so he doesn’t pierce the straw into it and watches when Jimin does.

“This is yours. I know you don’t like coffee… I just wanted to see what you’d order.”

“…How?”

“Koo, you don’t touch the coffee machine in my house ever. You don’t even drink the cup I’ve made you… even when I wake up before you so yo can drink it before you leave for work. You drink my nana milk, though, brat. So I figured you do like your sweets even if you ragged on me about it. Then there’s that one time I made caramel hot cocoa and you drank that up quick. I saw you even take two more cups when you thought I was sleeping…” Jungkook blushes at the memory. “So have this frappe… I know that’s to your taste at least.”

He’s ashamed for being called out on all of his dishonesty and actings, but he should have known better. Alongside Yoongi, Jimin is the most attentive person he knows. He’s that and compassionate, so he doesn’t make anyone feel bad for the things they do, but reassures and helps guide them to be open.

“Then why bring me to coffee… why test me?” Jungkook is a little annoyed when he realizes this whole scenario may very well be a set up for him to screw up. However, he wouldn’t have failed the test if he were just honest. So he’s to blame.

“Because I didn’t like what you said in the car.”

f*ck… so he hadn’t been imagining it. Jimin was annoyed at him. His tone and disconnection isn’t something Jungkook overthought, but had been a reality.

It’s over. This thing with Jimin he just started is already crumbling. Pathetic. Useless. Unworthy. Jungkook is falling into the depths of darkness in his mind… he just wants it all to be done with so he can drop Jimin off home and retire into bed. He’s foolish to think that this time Jungkook could do things right.

“I needed to know if you’re being real with me,” Jimin continues, somberly, threading his fingers between the spaces in Jungkook’s hand. “Just like you were faking with the coffee… do you really not enjoy activities like going to an arcade or eating out at night vendors?”

“I’m sorry…” Jungkook whispers, because he’s caught and he doesn’t feel like denying anything anymore. Jimin wants honesty and he’ll give him that. He thought he decided he won’t pretend with Jimin anymore, and he even had the audacity to lecture Jimin on not acting that way toward him, yet he’s been nothing but a hypocrite. Saying one thing and doing another. Refusing one thing but feeling another.

He’s tired. Why am I like this?

“No, Jungkook… don’t feel like that, please? I just want to understand what goes on in that pretty and big head of yours.”

Jungkook chuckles, endeared by the way Jimin still treats him with such affection. Even in the midst of being scolded, the other is always jabbing him with cute, fun teasing… lightening the dampening mood.

“I… it’s not that I don’t like them… but I… I don’t know. Jimin, all my life I just wanted to be treated equally. I’ve been the youngest amongst my group of friends… and in my relationship. Sometimes I feel like I have to grow up so people stop undermining me. I have this idea of what it means to be an adult, I guess…”

Jungkook is actually still confused. What he’s learned is all from Eunwoo. He hasn’t made any effort figuring out what it means to grow up… but rather follows his late fiance’s every advice like gospel. However, he’s not ready to admit that to Jimin -not yet.

“Things like games… or overly sweet drinks and foods… are childish? And I just wanted to be seen as capable to you. Someone refined and classy… that’s why I thought you were kidding, because I thought that’s what you wanted from me. And I don’t mind if that is… you know? I have money. I know how to present myself. You’ll never feel ashamed with me… I promise-”

“Kook,” Jimin stops him, squeezing his hand to pull him away from his ramblings.

“Where is this coming from? What are you talking about… what I wanted from you? I never-” Jimin is shaking his head, looking utterly bewildered by the word vomit Jungkook just spewed out. “That’s not what I wanted, Kookie. I promise. I just want you. Your money… the status of a restaurant… I don’t really care. You should know that, right?”

Jungkook should have known that. But he doesn’t know what compelled his mind to think otherwise. He honestly doesn’t have a clue what he’s going on about or why he felt as if that’s what Jimin wanted from him. Over the course of knowing the smaller man, he’s never once asked Jungkook to be anything else… never asked him to stop being a certain way unless it was to tell him to stop being a f*cking ass to him. He doesn’t understand why he began to change his attitude now that he wanted Jimin as his. Jungkook has no idea where the change came from.

Unconscious actions drawn from his past experience? Because that’s what Eunwoo wanted. Eunwoo wanted refined and classy. Eunwoo wanted fancy restaurants. Eunwoo had been the one to treat Jungkook as if he could be an embarrassment if he acted improper.

He bites his lips in recognition of what just happened. He promised not to compare… yet he still is, and that’s unfair to Jimin.

It’s such a f*cking sh*tty thing to do.

He’s not Eunwoo, Jungkook screams. He never took Jimin’s feeling into account. Why’d he doubt his words and his interests? Why did he poke fun at his suggestion and treat it like a joke?

Why did he dismiss Jimin so easily?

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook repeats, throat heavy at the guilt thickening his throat. He tries to bite down the sob, not wanting to go in full anxiety attack from the knowledge he’s still being hung over how he was once treated.

Jimin shakes his head and gently brings Jungkook’s hand forward. He kisses the tips of his knuckles softly and brings the palm of his hand to cup his cheek before he leans into his touch.

“It’s okay…” Jimin assures. “Just talk to me.”

Jungkook breathes, finds his calm, and appreciates the way Jimin is patiently letting him relax. He’s comfort. He’s the embodiment of peace. Jungkook can be honest -with Jimin, he can be anything.

“You’re older than me, hyung… I’m afraid that… what if you see me as someone not worth being with. I’m afraid of messing up. I’m afraid that you’ll see me as someone messy… not knowing how to take care of myself -or you. I’m afraid that you’ll just see me as a child when I want to just be an adult that’s equal to you.”

“What makes you think that you’re not equal to me? Our age?”

“That’s one of it,” Jungkook sighs. “I just try so hard… I work a pretty decent career and I stop pursuing meaningless professions. I eat healthy and attend events. I try to stay composed and carry myself with class and sophistication. But I still feel like that’s not enough; I still feel like I’m not treated like an adult. With my hyungs, especially. And I feel like it has a lot to do with my age… because I’m the youngest.”

It has a lot to do with rejection, too… but that’s a talk for another time, Jungkook decides.

“You have this weird notion on what it means to be an adult, Jungkookie,” Jimin is quick to say, frowning now. It puts Jungkook on edge, but he’s willing to listen. He’s just tired. He’s used to being told from everyone what it means to be him, so Jimin is just another person. Although he’s not, because he’s Jimin, and his opinions and thoughts are paramount to anyone else’s right now.

"I noticed it each time someone calls you kid… or a child… or these innocent pet names from our hyungs. Do you feel that way when I call you Koo? Jungkookie? Kookie?”

He’s right. He does get a bit defensive when his hyungs revert back to calling him his pet names. Although, he doesn’t feel offense to it as much as it did back then. However with Jimin, he just feels warm. As if the little name solidifies the other’s affection for him. It’s a stark difference between how he feels toward Jimin and his hyungs…

He feels bad for it. He shakes his head.

“Why is that?”

He can’t answer definitely, so he answer simply. “It’s just different with you…”

“Because you know I’m not undermining your age and your worth, right?”

Jungkook nods his head; Jimin would never do that to him. He supposes that’s why it never bothered him when Jimin calls him in whatever way he pleases. With his hyungs, Jungkook still feels like he needs to prove himself to them. It’s ridiculous because he knows they’ve only ever been supportive and accepting, yet he can’t help but feel as if they’re still waiting on him to be someone.

“I don’t want to diminish your feelings… but maybe our hyungs say that because they dote on you. It’s not for you to take into offense or think just because you’re younger that’s how they truly view you as. And if that’s really how it feels like for you… then I say… this is where adulting happens: communication. You need to talk to them, Koo and let them in.”

Jungkook sighs because he’s right. It’s a conversation he’s dreads and avoids but knows he must make. Eunwoo convinced him that if Jungkook were worth it, his hyungs would realize it without him needing to bring it up. Jungkook is starting to realize that it was probably the wrong way to go about the situation. That Eunwoo was too prideful to give any beneficial advice.

“Shunning them or me out does more harm than good. Facing your issues head on and talking about it is the most mature way you can go about any issue. At least that’s what I think.”

“I was told to just mind the struggles. That it’s a waste of time worrying over things that fall apart. That people fall apart…”

“Circ*mstantial. You walk away and pay it no mind when it isn’t worth it. Your relationships with our hyungs are, though, right? They’re worth it.”

Jungkook nods his head.

Why’d he ever listen to Eunwoo?

“So talk to them. And if not to them, at least start off with me.”

Jungkook smiles and nods his head once more. He pulls his hand back, but still has Jimin’s cradled in his before he repeats the gesture; he kisses Jimin’s knuckles softly and places both their hands back upon the table.

“Let’s get back on track, though,” Jimin calls out. “Do you think of me as a child just because I like certain drinks, like to go certain places, or act a certain way?”

Mistake after mistake. Jungkook groans at the thought of himself vindicating Jimin as being childish when he’s been everything but mature in return. Jimin is playful and fun, he has childlike tendencies, but it never once reduces his capability of being responsible, sound, and mature. In fact, between the two of them, he’s the more mature one.

Sure, Jungkook likes to make it seem like he’s the more put together individual, but Jimin is the one who’s completely secured. He’s not afraid, he likes what he likes, he does as he pleases, all the while having people in thought. Jimin never had to hide or pretend unless it involved his own personal feelings. But he never once brought anyone else down with him. He never let anyone feel bad as Jungkook had. People only feel bad with Jimin because they want nothing more than to lift him up.

“I don’t think of you like that,” Jungkook promises, conveying conviction in the way he says it. Jimin has to believe him. “You’re just fun and explosive at times… Bu that doesn’t make you a child.”

“Hmm, you’re right. But even if it does mean that I am, then that’s okay, too, you know? We all have childish aspects… but that doesn’t mean we aren’t adults. Being an adult and acting like one are two different concepts. Being an adult is prioritizing importance, carrying our responsibilities, and upholding morals and decisions that impact society, ourselves and others in a positive light. Being an adult is recognizing our struggles and acting accordingly so we grow from it. Being an adult is understanding perspectives from all sides and determining afterwards what are own beliefs are.”

Jimin is playing with his fingers now, squeezing each digit with enough pressure to release the tension around Jungkook’s body. Jungkook relaxes into his touch and Jimin continues talking.

“Acting like an adult is mimicking these traits, but perceiving it into irrelevant counterparts of our attitude and personality. Which means, liking a certain drink doesn’t determine whether you can do all these things. Allowing yourself to enjoy games and have fun doesn’t subject you as being a child. I can like banana milk and file my taxes on time. I can like going to arcades, but know I have an early shift in the morning so I shouldn’t stay out too late. Adulting is decision making, not a characteristic trait determined by your likes and dislikes when it comes to food and activities.”

Jungkook scoffs dryly; he supposes he’s been acting like and adult all this time.

“But I’m no life guru, so take my words with a grain of salt. I’m not telling you how to live; I’m just telling you it’s better to live honestly. It’s less tiring that way. Then you’ll know who’s really there for you as a person.”

“You’re there for me,” Jungkook whispers gratefully, stopping Jimin’s ministrations so he can hold and caress his hand properly. “Even when I’m mean to you, you’re there for me.”

“I’m always going to be there for you.” Jimin reaches over to tilt Jungkook’s head up so that they are now looking at each other. He leans over the table and presses a chaste kiss to Jungkook’s lips. It’s enough to assure Jungkook completely that he hasn’t lost Jimin… that this only strengthens their bond… and equally heals his toxic mindset.

It’s everything Jungkook needs. But there’s a doubt in his head that probes strong…

“I don’t deserve you,” Jungkook says as their lips part.

“No, you don’t,” Jimin agrees as he plops back down into his chair. Jungkook’s heart shatters almost as quickly as his elation had skyrocketed when they kissed. Now he’s plummeting down, ready to crash and burn onto the earth’s surface. It’s crazy to experience the highs and lows a single person can put on him. He’s not sure how he’ll survive… but he wants to risk it with Jimin.

“But I also don’t deserve you,” Jimin continues.

The sentence didn’t sound right in Jungkook’s ears. How could Jimin think like that? Jimin is immaculate and beautiful. He deserves anyone that is willing to love him wholeheartedly. Unless he’s saying that Jungkook isn’t someone he deserves because he’s not capable of providing the love he needs?

Jungkook’s mind is spiraling again.

“Jimin…” He needs to convince him that he can take care of him. He needs him to know that he won’t ket him down… “I can be… you deserve so much and I can do… f*ck no, I’ll be better-”

“You don’t get it, Jungkook?” Jimin interrupts with a sad smile. “What you do… how you view yourself, don’t merit whether or not I’m worthy for you… or whether or not you’re worthy for me. No one deserves anyone.”

Jungkook’s lost, but he stays quiet to listen.

“We’re not things we get when we do something good or bad… we’re people with feelings and choices. What we do deserve… is happiness. And you make me happy. Do you feel happy with me?”

Yes. Infinitely yes. “…I do. Very much…”

“Good,” Jimin beams. “Because I choose to be with you, Jungkook. Because you make me so happy. And that’s what I deserve -not necessarily you, but the chance to be happy with you. And you deserve that, too, Koo… so all I want from you, is to choose to be with me as you are. You promised not to pretend with me. So please don’t feel like you have to…”

“I won’t pretend…” Jungkook promises. “With you I won’t ever pretend.”

Their night continues seamlessly. Jungkook isn’t worried when he stuffs his face with pastries after beating Jimin in multiple games in the arcade. It felt nice to play again -it felt amazing not having to hold his competitive streak back as he’s pummeling Jimin in air hockey, or darts, or bowling. Of course he relents after a few matches when Jimin starts pouting and whining cutely. He assures the other with kisses, saying he’s the best challenger he’s ever had the honor of playing with.

A little white lie since Jimin is practically the only player he’s gone up against in years.

Jungkook is free as he walks hand in hand with Jimin as they visit stall after stall, stuffing their faces with greasy and spicy food, before returning on the grass to look at the view across the Han River.

When they’re finally home, Jungkook and Jimin strip and shower together. They don’t make love since the exhaustion of their outing is creeping up on them, but they do share a few erotic kisses with the water pummeling their bodies. He dresses Jimin comfortably in his long shirt and boxers, loving how domestic he looks with his hair all ruffled and his skin all glowing.

They cuddle in bed, Jimin kissing his neck and cheeks before the night washes over him and takes him away into his dreams.

Jungkook is still awake as he rakes his fingers through Jimin’s golden locks, feeling the softness thread pass his skin. He feels so soothed and cared for. Everything feels right with Jimin in his arms -everything feels just as they were meant to be. Like he and Jimin were meant to be. It's as if the stars aligned, as f*cked up as their situations were, everything happened the way they were supposed to to ensure Jungkook met Jimin... for Jungkook to care for Jimin... and be cared for back.

His heart swells at the thought that this could be his forever. That Jimin could be the man of his dreams. The man he deserves to be happy with just as he said.

He finally takes his phone out, ignores the number of missed calls and individual texts he receives from his hyungs. He opens his group chat and types quickly before he shuts his phone off once more. He places his phone above the frame that’s still overturned and cradles Jimin in his arms, protectively and affectionately.

Jungkook:

I’m in love with him.

Chapter 5: Perfect

Chapter Text

They were inseparable; it was inevitable. Even before they got together, Jungkook couldn’t seem to get away from Jimin, something about the older pulled him in… with his story, their commonality, then his charm and eventually his love. Everything about Jimin is tantalizing and enchanting -there’s no possible way for Jungkook to not be drawn to him.

Had he been a little more accepting and a lot less stubborn, he and Jimin probably would have been together sooner. But Jungkook is happy with how things turned out. He has Jimin in his arms, playing with his fingers and kissing the tips with his beautiful, luscious lips that he never tires pressing against his own.

It’s every bit of perfect that he imagines love to be. Yet, he knows his mind is so plagued with anxiety, Jungkook is frightened with every missed text Jimin forgets to send him, every frown he sees, and every sigh he hears from his lover, that all of it is his fault.

Time and time again, Jimin tries his best to assure him, but even then Jungkook is afraid that one day, his angel will reach his threshold and finds exhaustion and cuts him off with a smile and an excuse.

“You’re overthinking again,” Jimin whispers, pulling him in with the warmth he feels in his palm when his little lover presses it against his taut cheek. He peers up with his neck, an uncomfortable angle against his chest just to lock eyes with Jungkook’s. He smiles cutely, assuring him that everything is fine -that everything is okay. Jimin turns his head a little more so that he can press a kiss to a spot on his chest his heart lays beneath the layers of clothes and flesh.

“What’s on your mind, Kook-ah?”

I’m afraid.

I never want to lose you.

What if I mess up?

“About how much I love you…” he answers instead, washing away his worries because he doesn’t want Jimin to bear them for any longer on this quiet evening.

Jungkook also just loves the way Jimin beams in absolute radiance whenever he tells him that. His eyes shine before disappearing into smiles of their own. His cheeks round, and his pale skin blooms into a shy pink. It’s so comforting seeing Jimin as happy as he makes him feel. It’s the kind of state he wants Jimin to be in at all times of the day, everyday. And he’s blessed to know that he can be responsible for it.

“I love you, too,” he whispers.

Falling in love with each other was smooth sailing the moment Jungkook came into terms with it. They went on a couple more dates, before Jungkook couldn’t hold it in anymore. The sudden flood of emotions that urged him to confess his true feelings were realized when Jimin slept over after one of their dates and he woke to Jimin by his side.

His hair was a mess, blonde strands flared all around, maned his face and stuck in random areas. There was crust in the corner of his eyes, drool dried at the edges of his lips, and smears of his lip gloss streak along his cheek. He was in his oversized shirt from last night and nothing else; his lover throwing it in on after their love making. Jungkook, in turn is only in his boxers.

It’s then when Jungkook realizes -how this simple bliss of having this man next to him when the first rays of sunlight streams through the crack of his window blinds- is what Jungkook wants for eternity.

Jungkook reaches over to swipe the dried drool from his face, holding back in his chuckle when Jimin starts to stir and curse in his sleep.

He doesn’t know how Jimin does it; how can someone look so freaking cute and endearing when he’s cussing? Jungkook knows he’s a goner. There’s nothing remotely attractive with Jimin in this state generally speaking -this is when Jimin is the most bare -make up less, puffy, dried from sweat and cum, and sleep overtaking him in all aspects. But even then, Jimin… is radiant and gorgeous in Jungkook’s eyes. And everyone be damned if anyone thought otherwise.

He’s perfection incarnate.

Jungkook attempts to swipe Jimin’s hair back, but right when contact is made, his blonde beauty whines and rolls over so that his back is now facing him.

“Stop,” he hears Jimin murmur into the pillow, pulling Jungkook’s attention.

“Baby, you’re awake?”

“How can I sleep when you’re so touchy?” Jimin complains bitterly. There’s salt in his tone, but there’s also a little hint of teasing Jungkook should have been able to pick up, but he doesn’t.

Quickly, Jungkook pulls back the reaching hand that’s been hovering above his lover’s back and tucks them into the sheets. Anxiety is bubbling his chest, worried that he may have irritated Jimin too much in the crack of morning. Jungkook bites his lips timidly and observes Jimin’s back with frantic eyes.

“I-I’m sorry.” Jungkook is chewing the insides of his mouth, creating teethe patterns along his inner cheeks. “Go back to sleep baby, I won’t bother you… I promise. Sorry.”

Just when Jungkook starts to recede and pull himself out of bed to start breakfast in hopes it appeases Jimin when he wakes a second time, Jimin rolls over once more and pulls Jungkook into a kiss. Their lips lock and Jimin has his hands curling into the fabric of his shirt as he pulls him closer. A few seconds pass before Jungkook realizes what’s happening before he closes his eyes and wraps his arms around Jimin’s firm and slim frame.

“Jimin?” He moans for a second before Jimin finds his lips again after parting to catch their breath.

In the midst of their session, Jimin curls his legs around and straddles Jungkook’s hips, grinding slowly into his hips, pressing friction against his hardening member.

“J-Jimin…” Jungkook groans, hands flailing to his waist to grip onto him. It isn’t until Jungkook starts to drag his hands lower, curving around his lover’s ass when Jimin pulls back with a mischievous grin.

“Kissing me with my morning breath… That’s your punishment,” Jimin sings.

“Hyung?”

Jimin leans forward to peck Jungkook’s nose and falls to nuzzle into his neck. “For waking me up,” he finishes with a small laugh. “You also have to make me breakfast now.”

“You made me hard…” Jungkook pouts, pinching Jimin’s side in retaliation.

“And I’m awake and hungry,” Jimin fights back with his own pout.

It’s infuriating how much more effective his pout is in compared to his own. He really can’t deny Jimin anything. But it does make Jungkook feel better knowing he didn’t really irritate Jimin when waking him up.

Fearing he may really irritate him if he doesn’t do as he says, Jungkook nods his head makes haste to cook him breakfast.

Jimin tends to see him, though, reads him better than anyone he’s ever known aside from Yoongi. So when Jungkook starts to usher Jimin out of him, Jimin bites his lip and pinches Jungkook’s cheeks. “Yah, you’re not just making me breakfast because you’re afraid I’ll get mad at you, right?”

“No…” it’s the least convincing Jungkook could ever muster, his voice shaking as he speaks and his eyes lingering anywhere besides Jimin’s. That makes Jimin frown and Jungkook knows he’s f*cking up quick. “It’s not the only reason,” Jungkook backtracks, wanting to be honest now.

This brings Jimin’s smile back, albeit short of his usual wide grins. It’s not entirely satisfying, and it makes Jungkook feel a little sh*tty, but he tries to hide it.

“That shouldn’t be a reason at all,” Jimin scolds. “But thank you for being honest. Kookie… do you want to cook me breakfast? I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you…”

“No, no, no!” Jungkook is quick to rectify Jimin’s thoughts. “You’re not pressuring me… no, not at all. I want to cook you breakfast!”

“Why?”

“Why?” Jungkook repeats curiously?

“Why do you wanna cook for me? I wanna know the reasons.”

“Because I…” At that exact moment, light shines through the cracks of his blind at an angle where it halos around Jimin. It’s as if the entire scene were taken straight from a cliche movie, and right now Jungkook wants nothing more than to spill every bit of cheesy lines to the beautiful man before him. It feels foreign for Jungkook to think so honey like, but with Jimin on the receiving end of his cringe like deliveries, things tend to be easier.

“Because you smile when you eat good food… and I’m a pretty good cook. I mean, I think I am… you never said otherwise. And when you eat good food you smile a lot… and I love that. I love your smile… it makes me feel good. So good, Jimin. And f*ck… I love how you make me feel that way… I just… f*ck, I just love you…”

It’s instantaneous -both their eyes widen at the sudden confession made from Jungkook’s ramblings. Jimin is stunned and overwhelmed with affection. He always thought he’d be the one to say “I love you,” first, considering he’d been the first of the two to confess their true feelings from the getgo.

Jungkook’s mind is going a mile a minute, face bursting into flames and heart beating through his chest from the sudden outburst. He’s worried he confessed to fast, fearing he’s scaring Jimin away. He’s anxious that he may have spiraled a nice relationship into something he fears Jimin isn’t ready for.

What’s with him? Jungkook usually thinks before he speaks… usually assess his actions before he acts. He’s losing his cool frequently, he babbles and he gets shy and he’s less confident and it isn’t like him at all…

f*ck. What if Jimin isn’t looking for something serious? It pains Jungkook to think that Jimin might not think anymore of their relationship when he’s falling for him so hard, so fast, but he’d take just about anything to have Jimin close with him right now.

Silence befalls them and it only makes Jungkook’s nerves all the more jittery. He can’t read Jimin as well as the other can read him. Sure Jungkook can tell when he’s lying and nervous… Jungkook knows his likes and dislikes, his fears and his secrets… but when Jimin really, really wants to stay aloof, he’s f*cking great at closing off his emotions and portraying himself as something he wishes everyone to see.

Jungkook is still trying to observe those changes… that switch. But right now, with the way Jimin is merely staring at him, he realizes right now that he has a lot more to learn about Jimin than he thought because he can’t assess his emotions at all.

“I’m sorry?”

“Don’t apologize… Stop apologizing when you don’t need to,” Jimin whispers. He inches closer, placing his palms against Jungkook’s chest to push him further into his bed. “I love you, too, Jungkook.” The volume of his voice is just above a whisper now, breath light against his cheeks, lips soft against Jungkook’s lips as he speaks. “I love you.”

Their kiss is fierce; Jungkook lunges forward, colliding their lips as soon as Jimin’s words flow through them. It’s all tongue and teeth, wet and messy, but they love it like this. Jungkook has his hands curled around the back of Jimin’s neck, pulling him impossibly closer, relishing the way he can feel Jimin harden above him -their co*cks are now pressing against each other, creating friction so good it makes Jungkook moan into the kiss.

At this point, Jungkook’s shirt that’s clothing his lover’s body start to rise, showcasing his lover’s naked glory, and it somehow makes Jungkook feel too clothed, his boxers feeling incredibly uncomfortable against his skin.

“You love me, too?” Jungkook can’t help but ask, uncertainty pooling in his voice when they break apart. “Do you really, Jimin?”

“I love you,” he repeats, softly and gently before peeling away the fabric covering Jungkook’s marvelous body. Jimin peppers his lush lips against the juncture of Jungkook’s neck, before trailing slowly down onto his chest, rib, stomach, and hip. His breath lingers there, and Jungkook is desperately clinging onto the sheets of his bed as he anticipates the warmth soon to engulf him.

Jimin hovers over him, and Jungkook swears his heart bursts and his dick twitch when he cracks open an eye to see the blonde beauty beginning to part his lip over his erection. He’s a f*cking tease, but Jungkook craves the slow approach.

His warmth breath blowing against his tip is what Jungkook feels first, sending waves of goosebumps to ripple along his skin. Then in an instant, sore lips wrap around him, and he feels Jimin’s tongue flatten against his length.

Jungkook moans at the pleasurable sensation, the feeling intensifying tenfold knowing it’s Jimin on the other end.

“f*ck… J-Jimin.”

Jungkook can’t ever get used to the immense, euphoric feeling that Jimin spoils him with. He’ll never tire of the way Jimin takes all of his co*ck down his throat, tonguing around his base and fondling his balls with skill hands. He’ll never tire of seeing the slight tears begin to pool around the edge of Jimin’s eyes as he takes him in further and further, until he’s gagging, chocking on his co*ck. He’ll never tire of pulling Jimin back, hands clenched around his blonde locks to ensure the other is okay… and see the string of spit connect Jimin to his drenched and hard co*ck. He’ll never tire of those lust filled, hooded eyes as Jimin nods, parts his lips, and beg for more. Beg to be fed. Beg to be taken care of.

And Jungkook never tires taking care of him -to give him what he wants, whether he wants to be f*cked hard and rough, to be called his greedy little slu*t… or if he wants to be coddled and f*cked slow and gently, to be called his baby and good boy.

“So good, baby, take me so good,” Jungkook moans as Jimin is back on his co*ck, sucking him dry. “Where do you want me to cum, love?”

Jimin pulls back just a little, peers up to Jungkook with a small smile. “In me…” he whispers, blowing his breath against the tip, which makes Jungkook shiver.

“f*ck…” Jungkook reaches over, brushing the pad of his fingers along the threads of Jimin’s hair, caresses his neck before running them along his spine and down his crack until he’s prodding his lover’s taut rim. Jimin groans around his co*ck, causing a chain reaction of similar sounds to stream from Jungkook’s lips.

“Right here, baby?”

Although no words were spoken, Jimin eagerly nods his head and grips onto Jungkook’s thigh to permit him. As the younger begins to insert a single finger into him, he began to acknowledge the slight grazing of Jimin’s bottom teethe pressurize over his length.

Strangely, despite feeling shocked at the subtle pain, it only heightened Jungkook’s arousal.

“Feels so good, baby. f*ck… your lips…”

Jimin starts bobbing his head in time with Jungkook’s thrusts, putting in two fingers now, scissoring him and curling his digits along his prostate. He loves this. Jungkook adores the way Jimin starts trembling in ecstasy below him, mewling and groaning, the vibrations sending chills down his spine. There’s a tight coil in Jungkook’s stomach the deeper Jimin goes, his co*ck hitting the back of his throat again and again. It makes Jungkook delirious, pushing in a third finger wanting so desperately for his love to release first -because his pleasure always comes first.

At a particular thrust, Jimin pulls back, an audible pop sounding as his dick leaves his wet mouth. He knows it in the way Jimin starts to mewl and whimper, clenching onto Jungkook’s thighs and clenching so tightly it squeezes Jungkook’s fingers.

“K-kook-ah…” Jimin whines, eyes rolling back into his head and lips swollen. “I’m gonna… Kook-ah… ah, ah!”

Jungkook is relentless, taking pride in making this beautiful man lost in lust, so f*cked out he’s become a rambling mess. He pulls his up and flips Jimin over on his stomach -his turn to hover over him. He slaps Jimin’s round ass, watches the flesh jiggle in mesmerizing waves, before spreading them apart, revealing his precious, abused hole.

“Beautiful,” Jungkook whispers, before diving in.

Jimin screams from the sudden moisture, not at all prepared from Jungkook’s sudden decision to rim him. Jungkook’s curious tongue swirls around every surface, wanting to taste all of Jimin. Lurking hands start to run up and down Jimin’s ass, and a single finger makes its way alongside his tongue, prodding him open.

“Oh, f*ck!” Jimin whimpers, shaking uncontrollably from the heaps and heaps of pleasure he’s feeling.

Suddenly, two fingers are in Jimin, rubbing against his prostate once more. With his other hand, Jungkook circles around Jimin’s co*ck, pumping him in time with his tongue. It’s too much -Jimin can’t stop thrashing, drooling, and moaning from Jungkook’s heavenly touches.

He’s so close, so f*cking close.

“sh*t! Jungkook-ah… f*ck.. I’m close. I’m close, I’m close, I’m close,” Jimin starts to cry out.

Jungkook pulls out his fingers and tongue, removes his hand from Jimin’s co*ck and positions his own to his hole. Jimin barely had the time to miss the feeling of his touches, never had the time to feel disappointment seep in from denying him an org*sm, when Jungkook thrusts his co*ck hard and rough into Jimin, taking both their breaths away.

Seeing Jimin an absolute mess and a needy wreck is enough for Jungkook to be pushed against the edge -he, too is ready to come.

“I love you,” Jungkook groans, slamming his hips against Jimin. The sound of their skin slapping wetly against each other, their f*cked out breaths, and their moans and groans fill the room. “I love you so f*cking much!”

Jimin wants to confess back, but f*ck, he can’t think, he can’t speak, except for constant mewls of euphoria that goes straight to feeding Jungkook’s pride.

“Gonna f*cking cum in you, baby. Fill you up. Are you close?”

This. This Jimin could answer as he desperately nods his head. Not a second later, after one rough thrust, Jimin comes, soaking both his stomach and the sheets below him. Jungkook follows suit, thrusting several more times before spilling his entire seed into Jimin, painting his walls in thick white liquid.

Jungkook collapses onto his elbows, not wanting to crush Jimin under his weight. He’s feeling a little light headed -with his confession and his hard org*sm, but Jungkook feels extremely happy. His lips find Jimin’s neck, pressing light kisses along his throat, nuzzles into him, and breathes his scent in -sweat, cum, and a hint of light magnolia woods; it’s the smell of his body wash, his smell.

He loves him. f*ck, he loves him so much.

“Was I too rough? Was that okay, baby? Did I make you feel good? Are you alright?”

Jungkook is a little worried -it’s not the first time they’ve had sex… definitely not the first time they had rough sex, but each time he gets a little paranoid whether or not he had been too much. He’s afraid that it’d be too much for Jimin… and he’d start second guessing…

And each time, Jimin would smile, turn to him just as he is now, and looks up to him with warm eyes and a tantalizing smile.

“Yes,” he always says. “You were perfect.”

And Jungkook leans forward, capturing his lips once more before the fall into their usual slumber in each other’s arms.

Perfect. A perfect world from a perfect human. A perfect describing a perfect moment. It’s perfect -and Jungkook is desperately afraid of losing it.

“Let’s go on a trip, Jimin.”

Jimin blinks up at him, wide eyes and curious. There’s no hint of discontent or judgment in his sudden suggestion, So Jungkook tries to reel back his anxiety. He’s never one to really initiate anything, but he feels ready to go that far with Jimin. The smaller man has done so much for him -given him patience, love and comfort.

Jungkook wants to give him fun and happiness in exchange. He’s heard it many times before, when they speak of Taehyung and their many promises together. It did feel a little uncomfortable hearing all of the things his lover wanted to do with another man, but he pulled back. That’s Jimin’s best friend, his soulmate. He can’t allow himself to covet him -moreso, he can’t be jealous of a gone man.

Amongst one of their midnight conversations, Jimin has told him how he’s always wanted to travel to Japan, and that he’d plan to take Taehyung when he returns from the states. Unfortunately, that never happened.

Everything Jimin wishes to do and to get, Jungkook wants to make sure they’re fulfilled. So quickly after falling in love with Jimin, Jungkook made haste to search up tickets to Tokyo. He never bought them, feeling a little wary of the fact that he may be going at their relationship at a pace too fast for the both of them.

However, after hearing Jimin confess that he loves him, too, Jungkook no longer had any reserves and quickly purchased those tickets. He never asked his hyungs for a second opinion, never eased Jimin into the idea, and hadn’t even taken account of whether his job will permit it (though Seokjin is his boss, he may as well try to take advantage of that once in awhile).

“A trip?” Jimin whispers curiously as he rubs circle onto Jungkook’s chest, sending flames to course through Jungkook’s nerves wherever he touches. “Where to? When?”

Jungkook blinks at the enthusiasm registered in Jimin’s tone. “So you’ll go?”

“Why not?” Jimin laughs, lightening the mood of the sunny day. “I haven’t really traveled in a long while. And I think we need it.”

“Yeah… I think we do.”

Jimin rolls over to his side and props himself softly onto his elbows so that they’re not face to face. The younger of the two feels overwhelming affection as he takes in Jimin’s soft features: his cozy eyes, his pillowy lips, his swollen and cloudy cheeks… all a contrast to his hard muscles, firm thighs and stomach. His lover is so mesmerizing, and Jungkook is eternally grateful to meet and love such a man.

It’s as if Jimin is able to read his mind, because he’s smiling now, teethe glimmering in joy. “You’re handsome, too,” he compliments as he reaches over to swipe away Jungkook’s bangs from his face. “With your fluffy hair and…” Jimin begins to travel his finger down to his forearm, lining them against the ink that colors his skin. “…armful of beautiful art.” His eyes then trail over to his waist, and Jimin dips down to press his lips over his abs. “And your beautiful…” Then he bites, not hard enough to break skin, but hard enough that Jungkook nearly pushes Jimin off the bed from the sudden surprise. However, just as quickly as he pushes him, Jungkook is wrapping his arms protectively around the other’s slimmer waist and pulls him in.

“Don’t do that!” Jungkook laughs, mixing in with Jimin’s own giggling.

When they settle down and Jimin is safely swaddled and tucked into Jungkook’s side, Jimin asks once more where they’ll go.

Jungkook bites his lips, suddenly feeling a little unsure of the destination. To ease the tension, the younger one starts to rub Jimin’s side, finding comfort from his presence.

“I was thinking…” Jungkook mumbles, purposefully stifling his mouth into the bed of Jimin’s hair. “Tokyo?”

“Huh?”

“Tokyo,” Jungkook says quickly, but softly.

“Baby, I can’t hear you,” Jimin laughs, trying to pull away from Jungkook’s side so that he can hear him better. But Jungkook doesn’t budge, merely pulls Jimin closer in.

“Tokyo?”

“Tokyo?” He feels Jimin stiffen momentarily, just for a second, maybe even half a second, but Jungkook feels it. The single, brief reaction destroys Jungkook’s confidence entirely. He regrets making the purchase, thinks of how stupid it was to consider Tokyo of all places -why not France? Paris? Why’d he have the mindless thought to choose a place like Tokyo -that’s of significant value to Jimin because of his promise with Taehyung.

Was he being too inconsiderate? f*ck.

“Or, you know…” Jungkook starts to back paddle. “Anywhere you wanna go? I don’t mind-” Jungkook could always refund the tickets.

“Oh no, no,” Jimin tries to cut in. “It’ just… we have to ride a plane, right?”

Jungkook’s stomach drops, and then follows his heart. He hadn’t even thought of that repercussion. They both lost someone on a plane. How stupid of him to subject Jimin onto it when he’s still damaged from the consequences of Flight 52. Jungkook, on the other hand, isn’t too afraid of airplanes, knowing there’s risks of literally everything and anything. He’s more afraid of the lives of his loved ones… what they go through, what they think of him… of being left alone. So he’s never really had much fear for anything else.

Jimin is someone entirely different. He knows how confident his lover is of himself, so his worries fall elsewhere… his fears are directed elsewhere.

“Oh f*ck,” Jungkook groans, turning his body toward Jimin’s so that he’s crushing the smaller man into his chest. “I’m so sorry! I-I didn’t even - I didn’t think… I, f*ck, I wasn’t thinking, Jimin. We can just take a trip to Busan or something? Go back home? Or how about Jeju? Oh f*ck… gotta take a small plane there too… unless? No, no, a boat takes too long. I’m sorry. I’ll think this through… I wanna take you on a trip, love. I didn’t even… so sorry!”

“Jungkook-ah,” Jimin giggles. “Free my arms so I can close your mouth shut, please.”

“Huh?” Jungkook releases Jimin, not so much to accept his request, but mores because he’s taken aback by the words.

Jimin takes his new freedom to settle back on top of Jungkook, straddling his hips. Naturally, Jungkook finds his hand a little below Jimin’s waist, having a hold grasp on his ass instead. It’s nothing sexual at all; his hands just gravitate there in a position like this.

“Tokyo… I’ve always wanted to go there.”

Jungkook smiles sadly.

“With Taehyung,” Jungkook adds somberly, averting his eyes so he doesn’t have to look at Jimin.

“Yeah… but I know it’ll be fun with you, too. You’re like a big bunny, Jungkook-ah. Cute, but large. You’ll protect me, right?”

At this, Jungkook turns to Jimin, finally. His lover’s shine with a sense of vulnerability, pouty and angelic, and it breaks away at his own facade, wants to make himself just as vulnerable. So he does. He sinks into Jimin’s embrace and allows himself to be coddled.

“Of course. Your cute bunny will always protect you.”

“You’ll hold my hand the entire flight?”

“Never gonna let you go.”

“Even when I have to use the bathroom?”

“Even then,” Jungkook promises.

“My Japanese isn’t fluent.”

“I’ve practiced enough -we’ll get by.”

“I’m a busybody, Kook-ah. I wanna see everything.” Jimin glares at him playfully. “I know you don’t like sightseeing much.”

“I like doing anything you like doing.”

“Liar.”

Jungkook scoffs, but doesn’t break away from Jimin’s close warmth. “Name one thing.”

“You don’t like walking, Jungkook. You don’t like when I ask you to go shopping with me ‘cause I take forever. You also didn’t want to go to the museum with me the other day and wanted to stay in. You don’t like my cooking-”

“Shh, shh,” Jungkook whispers, pressing light kisses against Jimin’s lips to hush him. A smile cracks between the two of them, even when accusations are being thrown around. “I like being near you; I like being with you. Even if they’re activities that I don’t really enjoy, I enjoy them because I get to spend time with you.”

“You’re being cheesy again,” Jimin blushes.

“You like that.”

“I do.”

Jimin cuddles into Jungkook’s neck, breathing in his scent and sighing in content. Jungkook is equally satiated, loving the feel of Jimin wrapped all around him.

“How long are we planning on staying?”

“I was thinking maybe an entire week? Starting from the weekend?”

Jimin nods after contemplating a lot. “That doesn’t sound too bad. It’s not to busy where I work so I can probably find someone to cover me. When should we do it?”

“How about the weekend after next?” Jungkook suggests heavily; he’s already bought the tickets out of sheer enthusiasm and hopes Jimin agrees.

He feels Jimin contemplating and holds his breath thinking of how pathetic he’ll feel if he says it’s not possible. It won’t bother him, but just the idea of having to lie and say that’s it’s fine, secretly refund the tickets to purchase new ones, makes Jungkook feel a little pushy. He should have talked to Jimin beforehand… should have not gone ahead and do grand gestures without the others’ consent.

“I think I can do it,” Jimin preens. He’s shaking in his hold, and Jungkook would’ve felt worried if he hadn’t seen the light in Jimin’s eyes shine over in excitement.

“Yeah… let’s do it!” The excitement is pouring over now, Jimin practically flinging up, gyrating in intense joy over thinking of the many things he could do in just three days. “Let’s go shopping, and eating, and oh my gosh… let’s go dancing!”

The show of genuine interests riles Jungkook up. He’s already sort of got things planned; although majority of the trip, he wants to do spontaneous adventures because he knows Jimin’s great at that, he’s extremely looking forward to surprising Jimin with tickets to Tokyo Disney.

The smaller man has a fascination with Disney, corny romantic semantics, musicals, and corny fairytales -Jungkook figures out he’s probably just as endeared, if it meant having to live these cheesy fantasies with Jimin. He’s very much a hopeless romantic no matter how he tries to hide behind a facade of coolness.

He’s got their flights, already prepared the ride to the airport, he’s got his luggages ready to be packed, and a small ternary they can loosely follow. All else that needs to be done is tell Jin hyung to get him off the weekend, and butter Jimin up for the trip so he’s not so anxious when they finally board.

“Jeon Jungkook planning a trip?” Hoseok muses.

“It’s already planned,” Jungkook replies nonchalantly.

“You hate traveling, Kook,” Jin deadpans as if it is a blatant fact. It is, for the most part.

Jungkook merely shrugs his shoulders and pops a rice ball into his mouth, ignoring the wide eyed stares given to him by his hyungs.

“You throw in a Park Jimin and it’s like we got a whole new Jungkookie,” Hoseok laughs, slapping Jungkook’s back in encouragement. They miss the wince Jungkook gives from the comment -he’s gotten kind of used to being called ‘Jungkookie’ again, with the help of Jimin’s endearing reasonings.

However, it still doesn’t sit well with him when his hyungs call out the differences in his personality and attitude. Surely Jungkook is well aware of the changes, but that’s something only he can understand at the moment. Because although his hyungs have known him for so long, they don’t truly see the inner conflicts in his mind. They don’t know how much he hides from them… how much of his genuine persona he still struggles to understand himself.

Has he really changed? Yes. That’s a definite yes.

Was that Jungkook before really him, though? Is the person Eunwoo molded him to be the same Jungkook he strived to be? Is the childhood friend his hyungs knew the peak of Jungkook’s existence? Is the person Jungkook wants to be in the future really him or a version of him that he wants to be for Jimin?

He’s so lost in his own mind and thoughts, he doesn’t hear Yoongi calling out to him -not until Hoseok nudges his shoulders to grab his attention.

When Jungkook finally looks up, Yoongi is looking at him with that knowing stare and tilts his head toward the kitchen, ushering the youngest to follow.

They don’t talk immediately; Yoongi simply pulls out two drinks from the fridge and they lean over the kitchen island, taking sips in decent paces. The bottles are halfway drunk when Yoongi finally turns to Jungkook, eyes boring into him like they usually do.

Usually, Jungkook can handle the stares, at other times they make him extremely uncomfortable. This is one of those times as he sighs and puts his bottle down, shifting his gaze away so that he focuses on the condensation dripping from the bottle down onto the marbled surface below.

“What is it, hyung?”

“Would you like to tell me?”

“What do you mean?” Jungkook feels his palms sweaty. He can’t lie -not to Yoongi. The smaller man is as attentive as Jimin, just not as sensitive. There’s no bearing around the bush with him, but he’s not ready to lay down all his problems… all his concerns; he’s still barely able to do that with Jimin.

They stay silent for a few moments, Yoongi’s attention flickering between both of Jungkook’s eyes, assessing the little behavioral kinks surrounding his younger friend. After a few more seconds, Yoongi sighs and leans his elbows down onto the counter.

“How are you and Jimin?”

The switch of conversation relieves Jungkook, but not entirely. However, talk of Jimin always seem to lighten his mood -his sunshine lover always finding ways to lift his spirits even in the absence of his presence.

“Good,” Jungkook breathes out with a lovesick smile. It takes Yoongi by surprise, having known just how mushy the two are whenever they’re over for their weekly hangout, but he’s never flat out asked him before, never saw just how content Jungkook really is with his newfound relationship.

It was never like this with Eunwoo. He remembers the time he asked how he was with Eunwoo, saw the slight glimmer of uncertainty in Jungkook’s eyes when he looks to him with a smile and say that they were “fine.” Yoongi always had his suspicions -always knew that there was something not entirely right with their relationship, but always thought that it must be something intimate Jungkook isn’t willing to share… that it was something he could handle considering Jungkook never once went to him about their problems. He never looked as he did now… happy and so in love.

Jungkook was never like this with Eunwoo, which led Yoongi to believe there was no love at all in his past relationship at all, or there was something seriously amiss with what they had before. However, Eunwoo was gone now, and Yoongi missed his chance to say anything about it now.

His focus now, is whatever is eating up Jungkook in the present. He turned a blind eye before, but Yoongi is determined to be there for Jungkook no matter what.

He’s just glad that Jimin is there to support him on a level he can’t reach if things start faltering.

“We’re really good, hyung.” Yoongi finds himself mirroring Jungkook’s smile, the younger’s happiness contagious.

“I’m happy for you,” Yoongi cheers, lifting his bottle for Jungkook to clank. “It makes me gag every time I see you send him heart eyes, but it’s completely fine.”

“Shut up,” Jungkook laughs, a blush finding his way to his cheeks. “I’m not that bad.”

“You are. Completely disgusting,” Yoongi teases with a smirk. “But it’s Jimin, so like… understandable.”

“He’s perfect, hyung.”

“I doubt that. Hung out with him couple days ago -he’s a freaking brat.”

“Yah!” Jungkook yelps. “Only I can say that about him.”

“Yah?” Yoongi repeats surprisingly, eyes blown out from the disrespect. “Looks like he’s rubbing off on you; you’re becoming a brat, too!”

Jungkook pouts, a feat he rarely shows but Yoongi secretly adores. “Sorry,” the youngest mumbles.

“You really love him, huh?”

“I do.”

“You feel it? You just don’t think you love him?” Yoongi questions. Jungkook observes him for a moment, not quite understanding what his hyung is trying to pull from him, but he’s making attempts to be more open -little by little. And with Jimin as the topic, it’s rather easy. He’s a little wary, not wanting to say too much in respects for Jimin’s privacy… but just enough to express his feelings.

“I feel it… I know it. Jimin, he -he makes me feel loved. He loves me and I’ve never… what I feel for him feels so new and right.”

“Different from Eunwoo.”

The name strikes Jungkook. He didn’t expect Yoongi to bring him up -at all. He’s never liked talking about Eunwoo, never liked it when Jungkook went to him for advice back then in the past. And Jungkook in turn never liked hearing what Yoongi had to say, as he usually suggested to just cut ties with his then boyfriend.

So Jungkook is silent, chews the insides of his cheeks and plays with his thumbs. He doesn’t want to run away, nor does he want to glare at Yoongi and start an argument. It’ll be different this time -Jungkook’s headspace is in a better place. He hopes.

“It’s different.”

“How?”

“Hyung,” Jungkook blows out exhausted.

“Jungkook, I don’t talk to you about this because how I’ve been before. I was always impatient, you knew I never quite liked your relationship with him. I’m sorry. But this time, I’ve grown, we’ve grown. I don’t expect you to tell me everything or anything at all. I just want you to know that Jimin isn’t the only one who’s there to listen to you.”

“I know, hyung, I know.”

“Jimin is good for you.”

Jungkook physically relaxes more when the name of his lover is brought back into the conversation. Although he knows that conversation of Eunwoo is not entirely over.

“He is. Really good to me. That’s why I wanna give back to him… he deserves some fun, hyung. You think he’ll like the trip I have planned out for him?”

Yoongi smiles warmly, reaching over to pat Jungkook’s back encouragingly.

“I’m sure he’ll love it, Kook. You bought him f*cking tickets to Tokyo Disney! That brat loves Disney. Make sure you get him those Mickey headbands!”

“Nah, I’ll get him Minnie ones.”

“Cute…” Yoongi smiles. “Sickening.”

Jungkook is feeling a little more comfortable -he can feel Yoomgi’s genuine concern and acceptance. He feels his warmth and love and happiness. And maybe it’s the fault of the alcohol he’s consuming, but Jungkook is starting to feel his lips loosen.

“Jimin is different from Eunwoo… you guys like him.” There’s bitterness in his tone -he never meant to express it, but memories of his hyungs being on their guard every single time he brought Eunwoo to one of their outings were obvious. Although it had been Eunwoo to be the one deciding to stop involving themselves with the hyung, Jungkook never put much fight because he saw the interactions firsthand. There were no reasons to encourage the relationship.

“Jungkook, that’s not-”

“No, no,” Jungkook continues, feeling a little riled up now that he finally brought it up. “You guys never liked him -I know that. But I did, hyung. Was that not enough? He helped me a lot… he was there for me. He didn’t baby me.”

Yoongi bites his lips and his eyes harden -Jungkook can sense that he’s holding back. But f*ck it, why should they hold back now that Jungkook is finally saying what he’s been holding on to for so long. Granted he’s not exploding, but isn’t it better to finally get things out of his chest? Eunwoo has been gone for a little over ten months now. He already feels like sh*t, falling for Jimin in less than probably two months, and loving him so much the next two months he’s willing to drop and do everything for him. He feels like sh*t because he really doesn’t give a sh*t anymore.

He loves Jimin.

And he hates how he has to talk about Eunwoo now.

“Just say it, hyung. You, out of all the other hyungs isn’t famous for holding sh*t back. So just say it.”

“How was he there for you? By taking you away from us?”

“I’m not an object, hyung!”

“Yeah, you aren’t. You’re a person. Yet, why is that every time I saw you… every rare chance I saw you during your f*cking engagement I saw less of who you were? All I saw is Eunwoo’s f*cking accessary. You talk when he lets you. You go where he goes. You do as he says. Your likes… you passions… all catered to his desires. I never said sh*t because I thought, hey, maybe that’s who Jungkook is now. People change, people grow and they experience new things.”

They hear the television in the living room increase in volume, deducing both Hoseok and Jin probably heard the exchange and decided it’d be best that they give them their own sense of privacy without actually leaving. Both he and Yoongi were being riled up, emotions suppressed finally being released. It was long overdue… and although Jungkook felt sick to his stomach, ready to gag and vomit, everything feels refreshing. He’s never blown up at any of his hyungs like this… aside from Jimin, that is. It feels good.

“But that was never the f*cking case was it?”

“You don’t know sh*t, hyung. You’re acting as if I couldn’t make my own decisions with Eunwoo.”

“Could you?” Yoongi snaps back, leveling Jungkook’s frustrations. “‘Cause I saw you standing in front of that BigHit Entertainment… I saw that look in your eyes. You miss that life, right? Of music, of art, of dancing and singing. You get rejected once, and you gave that sh*t up? And how? Who convinced you?”

Eunwoo did. But Jungkook is too stubborn to admit. Hates that he’s right. He’s realized this on his own, with the help of how Jimin cares for him a great way to differentiate how toxic everything has been with Eunwoo… but he’s not ready for the confrontation. He hates to see how badly Jungkook allowed himself to withdraw of everything that made him… him.

“I wasn’t meant for that life,” Jungkook argues. In a way, he believes this. He was a rebel… no familial support other than his hyungs there to help guide him. But he was the youngest, and his hyungs had their own sh*t to deal with. Eunwoo was there. Eunwoo helped him realize that maybe, he needed to stray away from a path with a high probability of failing.

But Yoongi was right, too. He failed once. He never tried again.

But with Eunwoo… he at least landed a decent job, gave him a decent living…

But his hyungs were now producing music… which meant, Jungkook had that chance as well.

f*ck it all.

“You never really gave it a shot. You still have a shot. Probably, not as an idol now cause you got some years on you. But you have a shot, Jungkook. Did you know Jimin also auditioned at several studios? That he had the same dream as you did? He never truly made it, but look at where he’s at now. He’s a f*cking choreographer and sometimes a performer. He has a beautiful voice and we’re making music together.”

“How do you know about that?” Jungkook asks curiously, anger faltering over confusion. He didn’t know that information about Jimin. Why was there still new things he’s learning about his lover from other people? It didn’t sit right with him.

Was Jungkook not worth telling everything to?

He shook his head. No, that’s stupid. Jimin isn’t obligated to tell him everything. Especially when he isn’t doing the same with him.

“We have the same interests. I talk to him about my past. It’s how we get that conversation going. He doesn’t want to push your buttons too much.”

“He always pushes my buttons…” Jungkook complains softly. “In a good way,” he adds when he catches Yoongi’s glare.

“He knows how sensitive you are with music, and if he can’t talk to you about it, he can with Namjoon and I. And when he can’t talk about dance with you, he can with Hoseok.”

“Is that what he told you?”

Jungkook’s heart sinks. It hurts to hear that Jimin, even after all their heartfelt talk, spending day and night with eachother, and being there with for each other emotionally and physically, there are still some things that Jimin decides not to got to him for. Sure they dabble about music and dance… sure they occasionally sing together and spin around in each other’s homes, but Jungkook realizes they don’t really dive deep into Jimin’s passions. He’s never really asked Jimin about what he’s done before… or how much he loves what he does.

Did Jimin ever feel like he wasn’t interested in that?

Did Jimin ever feel like he has to walk on eggshells with him?

Jungkook doesn’t think so… Jimin is bold and blunt, but he’s also compassionate. So if he ever thought certain topic make Jungkook feel uncomfortable… would Jimin suppress himself or think it’s just best not to say anything at all?

“I don’t want to pressure him… I don’t want him to feel like he has to be a certain way just because of me.” Yoongi says, holding Jungkook’s crumbling gaze. “That’s what he told me.”

“He’s not pressuring me.”

“Jimin doesn’t, but did Eunwoo? Did he ever pressure you to be a certain way? Think about it.”

He already knows.

He felt pressure. He always did with Eunwoo. He never wanted to make him feel contempt, always wanted to please him, and always wanted to ensure that their relationship stay intact. Because that was one thing Jungkook could control. How he handled his relationship ultimately was under his control, no one else’s.

But being in control of is relationship felt synonymous to being controlled by Eunwoo. Because whatever Eunwoo wanted, Jungkook gave.

But wasn’t it like that with Jimin now?

Whatever Jimin wanted, Jungkook knows he’ll go above and beyond for him. Isn’t that just love?

“I still feel pressure, hyung. That never changed. Yeah, I admit… I f*cking did and said everything Eunwoo wanted me to, but that’s because I loved him. I needed to be that person for Eunwoo. It’s the same with Jimin. I’m f*cking afraid I’ll mess up… I’m so f*cking terrified that Jimin will see me as this pathetic person and leave me. I need to make sure he’s happy. And if it means doing things and saying things that’ll ensure that he is then why the f*ck not? Is that so wrong?”

“Yes!” Yoongi stresses out, eyes wide with disbelief over the younger’s ignorant view of a healthy relationship. But he’s been engaged to f*cking Eunwoo, so maybe he couldn’t fault Jungkook too much. “Would you ever tell Jimin to drop his dreams?”

“Of course I f*cking wouldn’t!”

“Why?”

Jungkook scoffs, rolling his eyes and turning his entire body away from him, refusing to entertain the question.

“Why?” Yoongi demands.

“Because it makes him happy! Why would I do that!”

“And if Jimin finds happiness in f*cking drinking every night, smoking every day would you ask him to stop?”

“Don’t be f*cking ridiculous, hyung.”

“Answer the question, Kook.”

“It isn’t the same thing.”

“Answer the question!”

“Yes! I’d ask him to quit!”

“Why?”

“Because I love him. Because that’s what’s good for him.”

“But it makes him happy.”

He knows what Yoongi is trying to say. He gets it. He f*cking gets it. Relationships aren’t built in favor of just one person… it’s a two way streak. More than ensuring one is happy… it’s also about helping the other do what’s best for them, communicating, encouraging healthy habits, and discoursing toxic ones. It’s f*cking common sense…

But it isn’t like Eunwoo did any of that. He never smoke or drank. He was always calm and collected. So really what the f*ck was Yoongi trying to compare?

“And if Jimin ever asks you to cut ties with us, would you?”

“Why would he? He loves you guys.”

“Hypothetically.” Then Yoongi’s approach changes. “No, f*ck that. Would you ever cut us off again if Jimin ever asked you to like Eunwoo did. I know he did! When I was going through sh*t with my career… when I had family problems of my own… when I just wanted to hang out with my favorite maknae… where were you? You keep saying Eunwoo had been there for you, but we were always there. Just waiting. Hoping. Were you there for us?”

Jungkook clicks his tongue and stares Yoongi down. He feels shame in his heart, because Yoongi is only speaking facts, and it’s ripping I’m to pieces of finally being confronted. Isn’t this what he wanted? To not be babied? To finally be held accountable for his actions?

He never thought it’d hurt so much.

“I need you to answer me, Kook,” Yoongi pushes, eyeing the way Jungkook has a heavy grip on the now empty beer bottle. “You’ve held so much in… just please, please be honest with me.”

“What do you want me to say?” Jungkook nearly screams.

“The truth!”

“The truth is I f*cking understand, okay? I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” Jungkook’s eyes start to water; his heart hurts and he’s pretty sure the bottle in his hand is ready to shatter, so he releases it in favor of holding tight onto the edge of the kitchen island.

Pulling away from his hyungs is one of the things he’s regretted doing since being with Eunwoo. Being with them now, opening up, laughing and hanging out -he’s missed them all. It’s terrible he had to have Eunwoo forced out of his life to get back this lifestyle. It’s terrible thinking that if Eunwoo had stayed, he may never have had this chance in reconciling with his hyungs that never left them.

He’s the worst friend.

And he’s continuing to be the worst friend by never acknowledging it -never saying sorry…

“Jungkook…” Yoongi tries to reach for him now, all anger faded away with the sight of Jungkook’s tears starting overflow. There’s shame and embarrassment and unrelenting guilt in Jungkook’s expression, and Yoongi wanted nothing more than to ease the discomfort from him.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Jungkook is pulling back.

f*ck, he never thought he’d cry. When Jimin was first mentioned, he thought he’d happily gush over how much he loves him. He never imagined that instead he’d bawl over how much of a f*cking scum person he is.

He’s losing his grip on reality, flashes of all of the things Jungkook wish he’d never done came flittering in his mind like a reel. Jungkook has been hurting, internalizing everything just so he’s not a burden to anyone else… however, he fails to realize that by being this way, he’s also hurting his hyungs. He never saw Yoongi this riled up, never had the elder raise his voice at him before. He never once paid attention to the pain flicker in Yoongi’s eyes -his hyung isn’t just observing him… his hyung also wanted to be seen.

And Jungkook finally sees it now. He sees the pain he’s caused, the way he’s been missed, the concern and worry of him never being around.

“I’m sorry, hyung! I’m so f*cking sorry!” Jungkook falls to his knees, crowds into himself and pulls his knees close to his face. “I know I’m the worst. I’m so sorry!”

“Hey, Jungkook, f*ck no you’re not! I’m not bringing this up to guilt you or sh*t like that. I love you.” Jungkook feels Yoongi crowd around him, engulfing I’m close in a hug. He isn’t one to share physical comfort often, so Jungkook feels both shy and immensely cared for, despite how awful he feels inside.

“We need to be honest with each other, that’s why I brought it up. I love Jimin, too, but if you’re view of relationships will end up being like the last, I need to f*cking step in. I’m not gonna just stand in the sidelines anymore. You’re back in my life, and I want it to stay that way.”

When Yoongi realizes he isn’t faring well with calming Jungkook down, he calls for the others urgently -the two of them scrambling into the kitchen in seconds as if they were on call and ready. They don’t question the sight, only observes the crying mess Yoongi and Jungkook were in and instantly jumps in to wrap their arms around them. They try their very best to get in as much contact with Jungkook as possible, curling their arms around his waist, neck and legs to ensure that their maknae isn’t completely cared for.

It takes several assurances and nearly an hour of hearing Jungkook vomit more apologies and self deprecating grievances until the younger finally settles down enough to breathe normally.

Hoseok is still sobbing, making sure that Jungkook did no wrong, while Yoongi tsks and scolds Hoseok for excusing his behavior the past years.

“That’s not what he needs to hear right now; Jungkook needs to realize that what he did wasn’t the greatest. And what you’re doing only enables that. He’s our kid, Hobi… but he’s not a child.”

“But-”

“We’re family. We can’t be afraid of hurting each other’s feelings. We’re always going to be there for one another, so let’s grow from this.”

Hoseok looks ready to argue, but after a few more tears shed, he understands the situation and nods.

“You’re right, you’re right,” Jin mumbles, nuzzling into Jungkook’s neck to placate him. “I’m sorry, Kook. I’m sorry… We love you. And we forgive you. Do you forgive us?”

That only makes Jungkook feel worse. There’s mo reason for them to apologize to him. He’s the one doing wrong. He’s the one that did wrong. And even if he tried to hold it in, hearing his hyungs trying to say sorry and calm him down, makes his heart squeeze. A sob breaks from his mouth, but Jin is quick to hush him.

“It’s okay, Kookie. We love you. We love you so much.”

“I love you guys, too!” Jungkook croaks out, voice hoarse and heavy.

“We’ll talk about this again later, alright? When we’ve all calmed down… maybe after we help you plan this trip with Jimin? Would you like that, Kookie?” Jin suggests gently.

Jungkook bites his lips, but nods frantically. He’s tired… he’s so tired, but he feels lighter, more free. And although he wants to hash things out just a little more, get things out in the open now that they were high up in their emotions, but right now he just wants to wind down and go back to what he originally though the conversation was going to be about: Jimin.

He needs a little breather. They can get back on their issues another day soon, hopefully soon, because Jungkook appreciates the honesty.

“Thank you…” he whispers, falling into their embrace, letting them comfort him. “Thank you.”

Jimin is going to be so happy, Kookie,” Jin laughs, smacking Jungkook’s back as he assesses the brief itinerary Jungkook made. “You’re not usually the type to do all of this.”

Jungkook is smiling wide, extremely excited over his Hyung’s approval over his plans. “I’m not the type at all. But Jimin deserves this.”

“You deserve it, too,” chimes Yoongi, filtering into the living room with a bowl filled with freshly cut fruits. “Seriously, with all things going on, I think it’s best you guys just take off for a bit. Forget the drama, work, and just… live.”

Jungkook is mindlessly nodding his head in agreement while scrolling through the hotel lists he has yet to book and purchase.

“Did you need someone to drop you off at the airport?” Hoseok wonders.

“I was going to just call us a cab, but now I think it’s best if one of you guys could come?” Then Namjoon’s eyes light up as he searches for Jin’s gaze. “Could you drop us off, hyung? With Namjoon hyung. Jimin is kind of nervous… boarding the plan, considering what happened… so maybe it’d help if he had you guys calm him down on the ride there?”

Jin’s eyes soften at the request and bobs his head with no hesitation. When the moment becomes too soft between the two of them, Jin breaks away with a high pitch laughter and scoffs, confusing Jungkook and the others momentarily.

“You’re such a brat, Jungkook.”

Jungkook glances toward Yoongi with a light frown. “Hyung called me that earlier, too. Why am I such a brat?”

“You’re literally making your boss drop you off to a short vacation and you hadn’t even formally requested off.”

This makes everyone laugh after the realization dawns on them that Jin had been right. He never asked Jin for off days, merely told him that he was taking Jimin on a trip. Truthfully, it was unprofessional and inconsiderate -had it not been Jin, Jungkook would have been reprimanded and most likely denied. He’s lucky that Jin is understanding, kind, and patient. However, it isn’t something Jungkook should take advantage of regardless of their relationship.

He drops his head down in shame afterwards.

“Sorry, hyung. I know it’s late… but, may I request off next weekend and the following weekday? I’ll find someone to cover me.”

“I’ve already got it covered, Kook, no worries. Just promise me you and Jimin will have fun, alright?”

“Just a heads up, Jin, I won’t check my emails. I don’t want to even think about work while I’m there.”

“You might as well just turn your entire phone off and just focus on Jiminie.”

Jungkook smiles and thinks about it for a moment. “I might just do that, honestly,” he laughs.

After a few more moments, Jungkook finally books the hotel.

“Oh. A single bed with an open bathroom?” Hoseok teases, wiggling his eyebrows and shoving Jungkook’s back with his elbow playfully. “Kinky.”

“Shut up,” Jungkook laughs, shoving Hoseok back.

Jin and Yoongi share a knowing look, a slight smile on their faces as they take in the carefree expression upon Jungkook’s face. They still have a lot to work on, but if today is any distinction of how their relationship will start to mend, the hyungs figured everything will fall into place perfectly.

The weekend rolls by quickly. Jungkook held Jimin’s hand in the backseat, while Jin drive them to the airport, Namjoon in the passenger seat playing around with the radio station. Jimin is chewing on his bottom lip, a habit he has when he’s nervous -it makes Jungkook feel a little bad, but he knows he’ll always be there to calm him down.

He rubs circles into Jimin’s palm, catching his attention immediately. When their eyes lock, Jimin physically relaxes, body sinking into his seat, and his attacking teethe stops chewing his lips. They share a smile, kind and genuine.

“It’s okay, love. We’re gonna be fine.”

“He’s right Chim,” Namjoon assures, glances back to Jimin with his own dimpled promises. “You’ll have Jungkook with you the entire time.”

“I know; it’s just that-” Jimin starts.

“I know,” Namjoon repeats, sharing an understanding glance between the two younger men in the car. “You’ll be fine, Chim. Taehyung-ah would never want you to stop traveling just because of what happened. You love to travel… he’ll hurt if he ever finds out you stopped. He’ll never forgive himself.”

That’s all that needed to be said to convince Jimin completely. And although he’s grateful for that, Jungkook is a little jealous over how Jimin relaxes over wanting to please Taehyung, rather than being assured by Jungkook’s protection.

It’s stupid. So f*cking stupid to feel and think that way.

Taehyung has always been Jimin’s safe haven -his f*cking best friend and soulmate. There’s nothing Jungkook should be jealous of, but he feels a little incompetent. And that’s not a fault of Jimin, but rather of himself.

This trip, Jungkook is determined to be better. For himself and for Jimin. After this trip, he wants to convince Jimin that he has nothing to fear when he’s around. He never has to be afraid of losing him. He never has to be afraid of being lost. Jimin will always be assured that he’ll have him. No matter what.

Jungkook lifts Jimin’s small fist to his lips, and presses kisses against each of his knuckle. He rejoices after catching how Jimin melts from the affection.

“I love you,” Jungkook mouths.

“And I love you,” Jimin mouths back.

They don’t realize how Namjoon still has his face turned toward them, witnessing the exchange. The older man blushes at the display of affection and turns back to face Jin with fondness.

He’s glad Jimin has found someone.

He’s also glad that he, too, found someone.

“I love you,” Namjoon announces, startling Jin whom swerved just a fraction of a second from the confession. His face blooms an embarrassing shade of crimson as he laughs nervously.

“Joon-ah, wha-“ he mumbles, scratching his head nervously. “Yah! Don’t say that when I’m driving.”

It makes Namjoon laugh, leaning back into his seat.

“Just say it back, hyung,” Jungkook teases with a roll of his eyes. “Don’t be shy just ‘cause we’re here.”

“Yeah, Jinnie hyung,” Jimin joins in, singing his pressure. “Tell Namjoonie hyung just how much you love him.”

“I will drop you off in the middle of the road and throw your luggages out. Try me.”

The threat encourages a choir laughter to erupt. And it doesn’t take long for Jin and Namjoon to reach the airport, say their farewells to Jimin and Jungkook to wheel their luggage into their terminal. Jin turns on his heels with a tired grin, looking at Namjoon with the same affection he sees in Jungkook’s eyes whenever he looks at Jimin.

Jin is happy as he takes his lover’s hands and guide him back to their car.

“I love you, too.”

Jungkook is proud when Jimin confidently walks through the aisle and falls into his seat. Proud when Jimin already has himself situated and buckled in without the waiting for the request of the flight attendants. Proud when Jimin flicks the side window open to see the runway and blue skies. Jungkook makes haste to lift their carryons and properly situate them into the headers above. He quickly takes Jimin’s hand in his own when he sees his lover’s palm turned upwards, leaning upon his side of the arm rest. Once more he kisses each knuckle gently, and tugs Jimin’s head into his neck, the other going willingly.

“How are you feeling, Minnie?”

“Relaxed,” Jimin answers honestly, closing his eyes slowly, enjoying the feel of is lover next to him. “You make me feel safe.”

“I hope I always do.”

“I’m sure you always will.” Jimin squeezes their linked hands tighter, not realizing how the words that left his lips tugs at Jungkook’s heart.

“How long is our flight, Koo?”

“About two hours, baby. So it won’t be long. Why don’t you take a nap, hmmm? You didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Who’s fault is that? Going two rounds, are you crazy?”

Jungkook pinches Jimin’s thigh with his free hand, causing the smaller man to yelp quietly in return. “My fault? Baby, you’re the one who was begging me to take you-”

“We’re in a plane, Jungkook. Lower your voice.”

“You started it, baby. Wanna join the mile high club?” Jungkook whispered teasingly.

Jimin gasps aloud and swats Jungkook’s chest playfully without pulling away. “Koo.” Then he laughs with a hint of disbelief in his tone. “You’re absolutely crazy. Several months back, you’d scold me for saying something like that to you.”

Jungkook joins in on his laughter. “If you said something like that to me when I first met you, I’d probably never speak to you again.”

“Whatever, I’m too cute for you to ignore.”

“I was too mean, wasn’t I?” Jungkook sighs, feeling remorse, reminiscing all the times he’d snap at Jimin, invalidate him, and lower him as an individual. “f*ck, Jimin, I was so mean to you and you never deserved the sh*t I said or put you through.”

Jimin is quick to turn into his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck; it’s the best remedy Jungkook could ever be given when he’s shaking with

“You weren’t that mean.”

“You called me a jerk a lot.”

“Okay, but like… you didn’t put me through anything. You comforted me, Koo.” Jimin lifts his head up so that they’re looking at each other. He leans in -Jungkook meets him halfway and they kiss lightly, shortly as they didn’t think anyone would enjoy a full on make out session in the middle of boarding. “Thank you.”

They pull back, and although Jungkook keeps his eyes close as they part, he can already imagine the beauty of Jimin’s face an inch away from him.

“You’re the sweetest… but you already know that.”

The squeak that follows after that little compliment has Jungkook gushing in absolute endearment, but he reigns it in and pulls out his camera to start filming is black clad feet to balance the overwhelming emotions threatening to burst out. He hears Jimin giggle beside him.

“Why are you filming your shoes?”

“B-roll,” Jungkook answers simply. He releases his hand from Jimin’s momentarily to cup the side of Jimin’s head and press him closer into his shoulders. “Sleep, baby. I’ll wake you up when we’re landing, alright?”

“M’kay…” And Jimin does so. He breathes a sigh of relief as he clings closer to Jungkook when he feels the plane start to vibrate and ascend. “Don’t let go of my hand.”

“I won’t.”

Jungkook squeezes their hands a little tighter. When Jimin’s head starts lolling and falling forward, Jungkook leans his head upon Jimin’s to stabilize him. He cards through the shots he’s already taken thus far on his camera, smiling wide as the little dance Jimin does as he boards the plane starts to play silently through the view finder. He definitely had more surprises in store for his little lover. The trip isn’t the only thing he had planned.

If Jungkook puts aside stepping out of the bar and actually speaking with Jimin the first time they’ve met, getting back into filming and photographing would have to be the best decision he’s ever made. It feels so right to have the familiar weight of his camera held carefully in his hands, to skim through shots, to play with the lens and adjust the camera settings.

He realized then on the flower field: taking picture and videos of Jimin is probably one of his favorite pass times; seeing his lover smile and giggle, and then strike a pose so hot and sexy it makes Jungkook’s body shiver had been an out of body experience for him. Since then, making a video dedicated solely for Jimin -to express his feelings toward him had been on his mind.

A little pass an hour has gone by, and just before Jungkook starts to doze off, playing with Jimin’s fingers in his hand, the light on the overhead dings, illuminating the signage of the seatbelts.

“Please remain seated,” comes a voice in the intercom. “We will be experiencing some light turbulence.”

However, there is no “light” turbulence when it came to Jimin and his trauma. By the first couple rough movements, Jimin is already jolted awake, nearly flying from his seat until Jungkook brings his arms forward to catch him and gently pull him into an embrace from the side. He guides Jimin’s head into his shoulder, cradles him against his chest, and whispers sweet nothings and encouragements into his ear as he threads his fingers calmly through his hair.

“Everything is fine, baby, relax, I’m here; Koo is here.”

Jimin is still rigid in his hold, but Jungkook could also feel slight tremors in his breath as the smaller man reaches over to grasp the front of his shirt tightly.

“Koo…” Jimin whines, burying his face further in.

“Hey, don’t worry, love, everything is fine.”

Jimin doesn’t answer him, instead he replaces a response with a single whimper that cracks Jungkook’s heart. It physically hurts hearing and feeling Jimin experience fear -an emotion he never wants his lover to feel unless they were watching a horror movie together in the safe haven of each other’s homes. But they aren’t, and instead they’re tens of thousands miles high up in the air, above a large body of water, in the same situation Eunwoo and Taehyung had been in.

He holds Jimin close to him, presses soothing kisses to his temple, and continues to assure him quietly. “Koo is here. Koo is here,” Jungkook repeats, instilling the fact that he isn’t alone. He’s grateful he doesn’t share the same fear as Jimin -it should have, considering the worst literally happened to someone he knows… but the thought of that never crosses his mind as the only thing he’s thinking of is making sure Jimin feels safe.

“Just a light turbulence, love. It’ll pass. I promise. We’re just half an hour left and we’ll touch land. Can you breathe for me, baby? Slow breaths.”

Jungkook demonstrates, exaggerating his breath in large and slow paces so that Jimin can follow along. It takes awhile -he can feel Jimin’s nail start to dig into his chest from below his clenched shirt, but chooses to ignore the pain in favor of allowing Jimin any form of comfort.

He’s always been great at setting aside his pain at the expense of his lover.

After a moment, Jimin takes in his breath in the same rhythm as Jungkook’s. The plane settles, gliding smoothly through the sky in time with the overhead ringing to alert the safety of the passengers to freely roam around the carrier once more.

“Do you think this is how they’ve felt?”

“Hm?”

“When the plane… started failing… do you think this is how they felt?”

Jungkook didn’t like it. Although Jimin just started to calm down, there’s that same tremor in his tone as he asks the question, too quiet to hear if it hadn’t been for the fact his little lover is a breath away from him in their embrace. It isn’t just the sound of his voice that startles Jungkook, it’s the slight feeling of moisture that starts to bleed through his shirt, indicating the obvious sorrow that is still terrorizing Jimin.

“No, no, they would’ve been even more scared…” Jimin chokes out quietly, broken sobs threatening to burst. “Because we weren’t there. They… they didn’t have you or me there with them…”

Not here. Jungkook tries hard to stay composed, but panic is rising when he starts to notice the anxiety build up within Jimin. Memories replay in his mind at having caught Jimin one too many times in his home crying his heart out blaming himself over events that were completely out of his control -too many times Jungkook had to swallow his tongue at having to snap Jimin out of his thoughts harshly in hopes it’ll get him angry enough to think of something else. Overtime, Jungkook has learned to just listen in silence and offer him comfort after Jimin’s done sobbing.

But no, not here. Jungkook won’t let him break down here.

If he could, Jungkook would try his damnest so that Jimin never had to break down ever again.

“Baby, no, no, don’t think like that.”

“But-”

“Shh, don’t say anymore, please. Just… just breathe, in and out. With me.”

“Jungkook.”

“I’m here, love. We have each other. I have you. You’re right, Jimin. You’re right.” Jungkook turns completely to Jimin so that he’s engulfing him with both arms now. “They might’ve been scared. It would’ve been better if we were there for them like how we are with each other… but baby, that’s not your fault. It isn’t our fault,” Jungkook presses, finally releasing his own grief, his own guilt. “So please, stop thinking about it that way. Stop blaming yourself for not being there.”

“It just hurts,” Jimin croaks out, barely coherent with the way his mouth is so pressed up against his chest. “Everytime I think of him… in that plane alone -not being able to contact anyone…”

Jungkook shushes him then, rubbing is back intensely to get him to calm down. “Taehyung would have never blamed you.”

“… I know.”

“Hold on to that thought. And hold on to me.”

Jimin clings harder.

“So long as you’re with me… I’ll never leave you alone.” Then Jungkook chuckled, blinking his eyes wide in disbelief after reviewing his words. “That’s gotta be the creepiest sh*t I’ve ever said.” But it felt worth it when Jimin giggled, a slight joyful laughter whistling through his lips.

“That didn’t sound right at all,” Jimin sniffles. “But it makes me happy to hear that.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anymore, just revels in the silence as he rocks Jimin back and forth, lulling him into peace. They stay that way until they’re alerted of the remaining time left in air to prepare for descent. Jimin is infinitely a lot more calmer, even sporting excitement in his eyes when he sees the city landscape as they touch down in Haneda.

And when they finally breathe in the different air of Japan, Jimin’s anxiety had all but disappeared. Jungkook films him almost instantly, taking in the joy of his lover as he dances silly to the cab, makes funny expression each time the camera is on him, and twirls around with a smile everytime Jungkook purposefully stays back to shoot his walking figure from the front.

I’ll be there for you, Jungkook promises as he watches Jimin’s back from the view finder. For as long as you’re there for me, too.

“This room!” Jimin squeals. In a matter of seconds, Jimin is flinging his shoes messily around the room and lunges for the bed, body dipping almost instantly into the sheets upon impact. “So soft!” He gushes. “Nothing is better than hotel beds.”

“Better than my bed?” Jungkook asks with a raise of his eyebrow as he neatly discards his shoes to the corner of the room before joining Jimin in bed, running his hand lightly over the back of Jimin’s calf and up his thighs.

Jimin catches onto the implication, his whole body running hot over the barely there touches Jungkook applied on him.

“Mm… nothing can beat hotel beds,” Jimin continues to tease, rolling himself over to get deeper into the sheet and a little further away from Jungkook, which only entices the younger soul more. There’s comfortable play between the two when Jimin starts giggling as he swats Jungkook’s prying hands from him, but after several attempts to keep away from his lover, Jungkook finally wraps his hand around both Jimin’s wrist and lock him down into the bed.

“Are you sure about that?”

Jungkook hovers over Jimin’s lips, barely making any contact as he speaks over him, wanting to elevate the tension to a point where it has this beautiful man begging for him. There’s a dark shade of lust that blankets over Jimin’s gaze, encouraging Jungkook to proceed his advances, crowding further into Jimin’s space and trail his lips along his lover’s neck.

“Tell me, Jimin… is it better?” he whispers, loving the way he feels Jimin stiffen under him.

“…yes.”

The refusal of submitting makes Jungkook chuckle lowly, but the sound shoots straight to Jimin’s nerves.

“Stubborn,” Jungkook scolds. But he’s done playing around as he catches Jimin’s lip in his own. “Maybe I can convince you otherwise.”

They spent about an hour exploring each other’s body once more, going slow and sensual knowing they have an entire week with each other with no responsibilities and interruptions. Jungkook takes Jimin apart, kissing every surface of his body nice and smoothly, lighting every nerve under his skin into flames. He traces over every goosebump with his tongue and holds him down when Jimin starts to writhe away, too sensitive from the sensory overload.

“Jungkook,” Jimin starts to whine, before Jungkook plunges down to kiss him. The younger starts running his fingers down, pulling at the hems of Jimin’s waistband, and clumsily begins unbuttoning him. Jimin, in turn is scrambling to get Jungkook out of his hoodie and shirt.

Clothes fly from their position, being discarded left and right off the bed as they slowly take in each other’s naked state.

Jungkook hasn’t seen anyone prettier.

Jimin hasn’t felt anything stronger.

“You’re an angel,” Jungkook whispers, cupping the side of Jimin’s cheek adoringly. Jimin falls into his touch and smiles.

“And you’re mine,” Jimin declares.

“And I’m yours.”

And there’s truth within that statement when Jungkook finally pushes himself into Jimin and they both moan from the pleasure. Jungkook belongs to Jimin, in every way, in every breath, in every plead for Jungkook to f*ck him harder, to kiss him more, to tell him how beautiful he is. Jungkook belongs to Jimin in every gasp and sigh, and Jimin belongs to Jungkook just the same.

They’re each other’s, for as long as they never let go.

And Jungkook wishes that for all eternity. So when they find their release, and Jungkook paints the inside of Jimin for a second time within the hour, Jungkook holds him a little tighter.

The week goes by faster than the pair would like. They’re out by noon everyday as they’re always sleeping late due to intimate activities being done on each other -the two using their open shower and soft bed to their full advantage. And they’re always rolling off their bed a little later than when they’ve woken up, feeling the need to continue whatever lust they had left over from the night before.

Jimin is always laughing at the two of them acting like deprived horny teenagers, but Jungkook isn’t complaining one bit. He loves the euphoric look on Jimin’s face as he’s giving him pleasure, knowing that he’s the one responsible. He loves the way Jimin shakes in his arms when he’s close, and the beautiful moan and sigh that follows after his release. Jungkook will never get tired of it.

Jungkook is especially attentive to Jimin, holding his bags, making sure he’s fed and nurtured, all the while filming him. He also supports his sudden and impromptu planning as they shop in random stores, eat at random stalls, and venture out and try different activities like bowling, arcade games, and even clubbing.

It was uncharted territory, but Jungkook felt safe with Jimin there with him, helping him let loose. And even if it led to Jimin accidentally losing his phone, and the two being too drunk to not notice until the next morning, it was an amazing night.

Jimin had been extremely happy of how Jungkook let down his timidness and even encouraged him to speak with strangers. The smaller man even saw Jungkook’s protective side a lot more when said strangers got a little too close to him.

The night rolled out per usual, with Jimin tucked in Jungkook’s arm, as they sleep from exhaustion and wake the next morning.

“I can’t believe you got tickets for us to go to Tokyo Disney, Koo! That’s just unbelievable!”

“Why is that?” Jungkook wonders aloud. He has Jimin in front of him, assisting him with putting on is leather jacket and making sure his baby is thoroughly protected from the cold weather outside. “I’d do anything to see you smile.”

“You’ve come a long way, Jungkookie.”

“What do you mean?”

“Months ago, I could never imagine the cold and mature Jungkook to step one foot in such a dream like amusem*nt park.”

“Mmm… yeah, crazy how much things have changed, huh?”

“I’m really happy I met you, Koo.”

This warms Jungkook’s heart exponentially. He grasps Jimin’s hands in his and pulls him forward so that he’s planting a chaste kiss against his forehead. “I’m just as happy, sweetheart.” Then Jungkook grazes he’s teeth down his smooth skin and bites lightly on Jimin’s round cheeks, making the other squeal in shock. The sound elicits a laugh from Jungkook. “Ready to go, baby?”

“Yeah… but f*ck,” Jimin pouts, stomping on his feet playfully. “I’m not ready to leave this place. I can’t believe we have to leave tomorrow morning.”

Jungkook agrees. The past several days were like Heaven to Jungkook. He has Jimin all too himself, didn’t have to worry about the memories of Eunwoo (never thought of him even once), and he was completely void from any business work. Jin hadn’t contacted him for anything. Neither had his hyungs save for that one time they checked if they were all good, considering Namjoon couldn’t reach Jimin, thus the younger having to explain their crazy night. But everything was relatively amazing and so perfect… he dreaded the fact that he had to return with Jimin living in a separate home, him waking up on some days in a different bed that isn’t where he’s laying in because he needs to work the next day. It felt so good to just have Jimin there at all times -for him to hug, kiss, tease, and make love to.

Could he really return to the usual routine of how they once were when he’s already had a taste of what it feels like having him with him everyday?

What if he just asks Jimin to move in with him? His working place isn’t too far from his place, probably even closer…

Jungkook shakes his head. “Too soon.”

“Hm?” Jimin pulls back to watch Jungkook carefully. “What was that?”

“Ah, nothing, nothing. Let’s head out now, baby?”

“Yes!”

Filming Jimin is fun. Not because it was Jimin on the other side of the camera… okay, maybe that’s exactly why, but he has reason to love filming Jimin because of his endless expressions, the joy in his face and movements, the way he’d randomly play around and look silly, and the way he always turns back with a smile full of affection directed toward him.

If he had to highlight the best moment of this trip (if he excluded the multiple love making in their hotel room), it would have to be now, with Jimin holding tight onto the spinning wheel, laughing and begging him to stop turning the tea cup. His laughter overpowers the music of the park, filling Jungkook’s ear with so much love. Jimin’s eyes shown with so much excitement, as if this is the best moment of his life -Jungkook would like to think that, because it’s no doubt his greatest moment.

Jungkook is quite impressed with himself during the ride; he’s holding his camera pretty stable while spinning with the other. Jimin compliments him after, all wobbly feet and dizzy, hanging onto Jungkook’s side with majority of his weight until he’s able to right himself. Jungkook doesn’t mind; in fact he doesn’t let him go even when Jimin finds his balance. Good for Jimin, because he never wanted to let go.

They hold hands as they go to many souvenir shops, argue and banter a little over churros sticks and who gets to pay, and watch the evening fireworks and marching parade. At the end of it, they see a shooting star, and Jungkook nudges Jimin to make a wish.

Let me be with him for as long as he wants me. Jungkook wishes mentally… but Jimin wishes out loud.

“I wish Taehyung is happy… wherever he is.”

Jungkook’s hands tighten by his side; he tries so hard not to let it get to him and not to let the insecurity seep in, so he holds his tongue and forces a smile when Jimin turns to lean his head onto his shoulder.

There’s no reason for Jungkook to feel animosity toward Taehyung -someone he’s never met, someone that’s taken care of Jimin before he’s met him. There’s no reason for Jungkook to feel jealous at having Taehyung filter through Jimin’s mind during a shooting star with Jungkook by his side. There’s no reason for Jungkook to feel insignificant when Jimin has time and time again assured him of his feelings for him.

So why did it hurt? Why did Jungkook’s mind instantly darken… and why does he suddenly feel so incompetent compared to this mysterious soulmate -as if he weren’t enough. And he doesn’t want to open up about his feelings, scared Jimin will think less of him and scared that it’ll soil their last night.

How could he do that, when at the end of everything, it’s them two that will share the bed together and kiss each other goodnight.

Does Jungkook need to do better? Does he need to love him more? More than he already does? Does Jimin think Taehyung is better? If he were here… would Jungkook ever have a chance? f*ck if Taehyung were here… that probably Eunwoo would be, too. That meant he definitely wouldn’t have that chance.

Now he’s f*cking thinking of Eunwoo and how grateful he is having moved on.

And that thought itself makes him feel even worse.

He feels his breaths shorten and struggles to get a full lungful of oxygen in. Acting normal until heightens his anxiety, because he doesn’t know how to act normal right now. Because he knows Jimin wants honesty from him, but more than anything Jungkook does not want to talk about Taehyung or Eunwoo. So he’s so f*cking conflicted he doesn’t feel the way Jimin is tugging at him, trying to pull his attention away from his detrimental thoughts.

Jimin looks concerned.

f*ck. That’s exactly what Jungkook didn’t want.

“Koo, hey, hey. What are you thinking about?”

Jungkook doesn’t answer right away, working hard to control his face and feelings first. However, it only worried Jimin more because Jungkook honestly couldn’t get a grip on his emotions at all and it’s only straining his expressions in the worst ways.

“I… just…”

“Are you sad that this is our last night?” Jimin guesses. Jungkook doesn’t realize his eyes moisten, not until Jimin rubs a thumb over his cheek, catching a stray tear that rolls over. It makes him feel a little pathetic as he can’t believe a little wish is having such an effect on him and his heart.

Get it together, Jeon!

Jungkook takes his scapegoat, nodding his head to Jimin’s words. He isn’t entirely wrong; he is sad that this would be their last night in Tokyo.

Jimin slips himself into Jungkook’s chest, wrapping his loving arms around his waist and pulls him flush to him. “We’ll go on another trip together soon, okay? I love to travel.”

Do you love traveling with me, though? Do you wish you were with someone else?

Jungkook swallows his doubts and nods his head, hiding himself into Jimin’s warmth. “Yeah, yeah, of course, Jimin. Anywhere. Just promise you’ll take me with you?”

Jimin giggles. “There’s no one else I’d rather be with.”

And even though he feels the sincerity in Jimin’s tone when he says it, Jungkook is too broken to believe it.

When they get back to the hotel, Jungkook desperately wants to sleep, feeling emotional exhaustion from all the thoughts impeding his mind, putting a wedge between his relationship.

He can’t let it. Not this time around.

He rolls over the bed and lets his eyes darken at the sight of Jimin’s back toward him, naked as he runs his fingers through his shampooed hair. What a blessing to have such an open divider between their room and bathroom.

He’s not going to let his mind separate them. He’s not going to have this f*cking divider separate them. Without being aware of his actions, Jungkook stands up, discarding his shirt, his pants, his boxers with every step into the shower room, leaving a trail of clothes in his wake. Jimin doesn’t hear as the door turns and opens, doesn’t react when Jungkook pulls open the glass shower doors and steps in, and doesn’t turn when he’s directly behind Jimin.

It startles Jimin when he feels large hand run down his waist down to his hips, before they curve to the scape of his thighs and pull him against his front. Jungkook cowers over Jimin entirely, the pulse of the water hits his back, drenching him. As Jungkook presses his lips against the junction of Jimin’s neck, tonguing and sucking his skin, Jimin tilts to give him more access, moaning into the touch and affection.

Jimin grinds into his already hard member, hissing at the friction and instantly pushing Jimin further into him, relishing the pleasure that courses through his veins and nerves.

“f*ck, Jimin…”

Jungkook is quick to grab Jimin gently by the jaw and guide his head back so that he’s swallowing his moans, forcing his tongue into his mouth and exploring the warm heat. His free hand wanders down to Jimin’s co*ck, pumping him nice and slow, the drag easy from the shower.

Seconds is all it takes for Jimin’s legs start to quiver and shake, and Jungkook pushes him up against the grass divider to balance him. If Jungkook were in bed, Jimin would be a sinful dream, pressed up against the glass in such a provocative manner, moaning and f*cked out, co*ck leaking and ass clenching over air, begging to be filled.

The image excites Jungkook and it makes his dick twitch at how sexy Jimin is. Breaking away from Jimin’s lips takes a lot of will power, but Jungkook replaces the emptiness of his mouth and tongue to nibble along Jimin’s ear. He loves to tongue around the shape, bite the lobe, and whisper filthy promises in order to feel Jimin melt into submission.

“Kook,” Jimin whines, completely lost in bliss.

“I’m here baby, I’m here. I’ll take care of you,” Jungkook promises, pumping Jimin faster all the while teasing Jimin’s ass by squeezing his co*ck in between his cheeks.

“I’m coming…” Jungkook feels the way Jimin stiffens after several more pumps. His small lover’s whimpers become more animated as he barely thrashes in between the wall and Jungkook’s large body. “Kook-ah, I’m coming!”

Jungkook swears under his breath, eyes shifting over to the blurry reflection of themselves in the window across the room. His gaze never falters, watching the way Jimin closes his eyes shut from ecstasy, lips parted and drooling, and the tight fists his balling when his lover finally releases, cum splattering against the glass wall before being run down from the shower water.

“My good Minnie. Think you can give me a couple more? I still haven’t f*cked you yet,” Jungkook hisses, snapping his hips forward to accentuate his solid issue.

“Yes, yes, yes!”

The enthusiasm in Jimin’s breathy voice tugs Jimin in all the right ways, emotionally and physically. Jungkook can’t physically wait anymore -his penis is rock hard and throbbing; he’s so turned on by Jimin he’s starting to hurt.

Therefore he quickly lubes up his finger from the small bottle they’ve left in the shower and circles his rim, causing Jimin to whimper from sensitivity.

“You okay, baby?”

“Want it, Koo.”

And Jungkook didn’t need anymore convincing as he shoves his middle finger right in with eyes blown out from having seen Jimin’s ass consume him. One finger becomes three in a matter of seconds, Jimin’s greedy hole already a little loose from their constant f*cking throughout the entire week. And it doesn’t take long for Jungkook to pull his fingers out completely and thrusting his co*ck into him hard and quick,.

“Oh my gosh!” Jimin gasps, hands finding purchase but failing short realizing he can barely hold onto anything over a flat surfaced glass wall. “Feels so f*cking good!” Jimin moans.

“Yeah? You like that I’m f*cking you like this?” Jungkook growls, hips snapping in an animalistic pace, pounding straight into Jimin’s ass with no remorse. “Love the way my co*ck fills you up and f*ck you good?”

Without warning, Jungkook bends a little, pulling his co*ck out just an inch, displeasing Jimin. He rests his hands on both of Jimin’s legs, tucking them right behind his knee before lifting Jimin up completely, driving his co*ck even deeper into his greedy hole. Jimin’s eyes roll back from the intense passion and pleasure, shaking as Jungkook practically bounces his entire body onto his co*ck with legs spread wide open.

Jimin feels like a doll, made to take all of Jungkook -made to take his cum. He should be a little humiliated, but the thought makes his heart skip a beat… makes him hornier. He can no longer control the volume of his voice as he moans; he can’t when Jungkook is balls deep in him, putting constant pressure to his prostate, and drilling him like a f*cking jack hammer.

The sounds that echo in the bathroom is nothing short of filthy and raunchy. The usual slaps made from the contact of Jungkook’s hips and Jimin’s ass are louder now that they’re drenched in water. Jimin’s whines and moans are high pitched and sexy, enticing Jungkook to f*ck him even harder, dirtier.

Jungkook is about to experience a physical breakdown watching his lover so out of it with complete lust and want. Then he sees it in the reflection and f*ck Jungkook felt like he’s died and ascended.

He can f*cking see his co*ck push up against the small of his belly.

He’s f*cking Jimin so hard and deep he can see him in Jimin.

“Holy sh*t, love… how are you taking me so good?”

“Made for you,” Jimin answers lowly, eyelash batting as he lolls his head back to whisper to him. “Made to be your good boy.”

“My little good boy, huh? Is this what good boys do? Spread their f*cking legs like this to make it easier for me to f*ck you?” He asks harshly as he snaps his hips forward, making Jimin gasp.

“What was that?” Jungkook hears Jimin murmur something. He’s slightly concerned that Jimin may have asked to stop. Granted, they’ve never established a safe word to begin with, so Jungkook has to ensure that Jimin isn’t feeling any sense of discomfort.

Though it never seems to be case with the way Jimin fully loves to feel ‘used’. Even so, Jungkook is sure to keep a keen lookout for the young lover.

“Your good boy,” Jimin groans loudly this time, all the while rolling her hips to get Jungkook to grind in her.

“The best.” Jungkook hisses. He drops Jimin to the ground and flings him around so that they’re now chest to chest. There isn’t time to waste with how fast Jungkook lifts Jimin again and presses his back to the cool glass door this time. Jimin has his legs wrapped around Jungkook’s torso while the younger maneuvers himself carefully in order to get the head of his penis to catch along his lover’s swollen rim. Swiftly, Jungkook thrusts in, breath stuck in his throat as he’s feeling his org*sm already at the edge, promising to unload everything into him.

“My entire world,” Jungkook confesses gently this time, throwing away his harsh character to pour out every bit of his true feelings.

There’s a spark in Jimin’s eyes when he hears this, and he can physically feel his heart start to palpate just a little quicker. Jimin loops his arms around Jungkook’s neck and pull him, locking lip with the younger in a very sensual and gentle way -opposite to how they’re making love.

It’s that kiss that pushes both of them to their limits. Jungkook gasps in Jimin’s mouth as finally releases, filling Jimin up full with his cum and clenching so tight around his lover’s thighs he’s sure he’s leaving bruises and marks on his pale, milky skin. Jimin spills right between their bodies, liquid immediately getting washed and drained from the shower.

Jungkook doesn’t pull out just yet, still opting to carry Jimin and have himself buried as he comes down from his org*smic high.

He’s feeling vulnerable, so he allows himself to continue being engulfed around Jimin’s legs and arms. Jungkook shifts his head to hide within Jimin’s neck, and breathes his freshly clean skin -a mix of his body wash and Jimin’s natural vanilla like musk.

“Stay with me, Jimin?”

“Where else would I go?” Jimin laughs, lightening Jungkook’s heavy heart.

“Thank you.”

They kiss a little more before Jimin breaks them apart in favor of helping Jungkook wash. They dry themselves quickly, pack their luggages, and fall into bed in each other’s arms. Jungkook showers Jimin with even more kisses, pressing them all over his face, and smiling when Jimin pouts and giggles.

“Goodnight, Koo,” Jimin yawns, shuffling over to comfort himself in his usual spot: within Jungkook’s space, head upon his bicep, and face pressed up against his chest.

“Goodnight, my love.”

Jungkook wishes this trip never ends.

Jin:

Kook. We need to talk. Let me know when you land… Namjoon will come get you and Jimin… Come straight to work, Kook. Don’t go anywhere else after you’ve landed. I’m serious. Contact Yoongi hyung, too.

The message is too cryptic, but Jungkook didn’t have enough time to reply and ask for clarification from Jin’s urgency as he and Jimin woke up a little late and are now scrambling to reach their flight in time. When they’re on the plane and boarded, Jungkook switches his phone to airplane mode and decides to reach out to Jimin when they’re situated with Namjoon when they land.

Jimin gets on the plane a lot easier now and doesn’t feel the need to sleep. He does still cling to Jungkook and whimper a little when the flight gets a little rough mid-atmosphere, but he’s no where near hyperventilating and having close panic attack tendencies.

Jungkook is already thinking about the small film he’ll make in honor of this memorable trip. He reviews the clips he’s taken of Jimin, and the very minimal B-rolls he takes of Tokyo’s scenery. Jimin watches the clips with him, sometimes complaining for Jungkook to delete the videos that he’s making silly faces in, claiming no one should see how ugly he is. Jungkook rightfully flicks his forehead for that comment.

“It’s not good to lie.”

“I’m not lying,” Jimin pouts, which earns him yet another flick.

“Abuse.” And this little banter ends when Jungkook kisses his forehead, right upon the faint pink of where he’d left his mark.

“Jin Hyung said Namjoon hyung will come get us.”

“Ah, he’s gonna scold me for losing my phone,” Jimin whines. “I should just take a cab.”

“No, you are not,” Jungkook laughs.

“Better being scolded my Namjoon than having to report immediately to the office when I land.”

“What? You’re going to work already?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Maybe? Not sure. Hyung just said to head straight there. Maybe something happened with security while I was gone? I don’t know honestly.”

“Aren’t you tired,” Jimin worries. It’s cute the way Jimin’s expressions are always telling of his emotions when he lets you in to assess him -he’s so vivid, showcasing exactly what he feels. Jungkook smooths out the crinkle in between his furrowed eyebrows.

“Love, we literally slept for more than twelve hours and nearly missed our flight. I think I have enough rest.”

“I guess. Shall I take our luggages to your place or mine then?”

“Hmm?” Jungkook is a little stifled by the question, not expecting for Jimin to spend yet another full day and night with him. He thought Jimin would just go straight home and relax; apparently Jimin had plans to have the both of them stay in one place.

“Or did you wanna take a break from me?” Jimin teases, eyes glinting playfully.

“You know I’d never want that,” Jungkook informs with his own smirk, leaning in to press a button kiss on the tip of his nose. “My place will do. It’s closer anyway.”

“Got it,” Jimin smiles, and Jungkook swears his heart inflated thrice more.

However, Jungkook should have never got too comfortable in what he thought was finally a perfect life. Because of course, there’s nothing more convenient and solidified, than Jungkook’s impeding and reoccurring misery.

Was Jungkook not meant for a calm and constant happiness? Was the world always just f*cking with him? Did fate really just save Jungkook from a failing relationship by presenting him with a love so grand with Jimin… to only be taken away from him.

Because as he lands and makes his way to baggage claim and terminal pick ups… he doesn’t expect more than Namjoon hyung to greet him.

He’s not prepared for the sudden sounds of bags dropping, Jimin’s sobs breaking through his throat, and the visual of his love running forward, leaving Jungkook behind. He never imagined to visualize the sight of Jimin throwing himself over another man, smiling so large it suddenly makes all his joy in regards to Jungkook seem infinitely more insignificant. Jungkook never thought his insecurities and fears will be plated to him so bluntly after the anxiety of losing him pierced his thoughts a little too deeply the night prior during the fireworks show.

Jungkook thought fate and destiny could be a little kinder.

But it’s been cruel.

It’s always been so f*cking cruel.

Because Jungkook never once thought that he could ever lose Jimin in this way. He could handle the jealousy… he was convinced that with time, it never would matter, because it was impossible for it to ever come in between them. It was virtually impossible because he will never be there to take Jimin away.

However, that’s not the case anymore.

Because right there by Namjoon’s side, with Jimin clinging onto him just as how they were in the shower last night, is his soulmate…

He’s seen enough f*cking pictures in Jimin’s home to know.

The man Jimin wished for his happiness when Jungkook wished for theirs.

The man Jimin confessed to having a crush on.

The man Jimin missed.

The man Jimin would share binders of memories with… cried for… mourned for…

The man Jimin loved more than anyone else…

Probably including Jungkook, even.

…Kim Taehyung.

If his heart inflated three times on the flight back home, Jungkook’s heart had instantly deflated, shrunk down to a pea.

Did Jin know? Was that what he was so urgent to talk to Jungkook about? Was he worried about this? Why couldn’t he just f*cking tell him? Maybe he could have prepared for it better? Not subject himself to an intense pain by this sudden reunion.

Jungkook feels numb, barely able to move an inch to greet Jimin’s soulmate, whom… came from the f*cking dead. How was he even here?

His mouth feels dry and there’s a long ringing in his ears that deafens him. He doesn’t know how to act and respond. Jungkook just wants to get out now that all his fears and anxiety are spiking up tenfold. He can’t look at Jimin in fear he’ll see sorrow mixed with guilt in his eyes. He’s afraid to hear the words “I don’t need you anymore…” or “I’d rather be with Taehyung.” It’s illogical and insensitive to think like this, Jungkook knows.

He knows Jimin isn’t so cruel and knows Jimin loves him.

But not enough. Jungkook also knows that.

He’s so f*cking afraid and angry.

Why do things fall apart when he thinks he’s finally happy with his life… when he’s content and relaxed? Kim Taehyung isn’t supposed to be here! He was never supposed to come back! Kim Taehyung being gone in Jimin’s life is the linkage that and premise of Jimin and his relationship. It’s what gave them their common bond. Taehyung being back shatters that foundation -demolishes it, even.

Where does Jungkook fit in now?

He doesn’t.

f*ck. Jungkook feels like crying, his heart is breaking and none of the three in front of him are aware of it. He needs to go; he needs to f*cking leave.

Jungkook hastily picks up the luggages dropped from Jimin and plans to pass it onto Namjoon to take. As he approaches though, Jimin is quick to introduce Taehyung to him. Jimin is a mess, eyes bloodshot red, mucus pouring from his nostrils -his poor little lover is all swollen in the face from the tears. But Jungkook doesn’t have it in him to comfort him right now.

Taehyung extends his hand out, Jungkook quickly gives Namjoon Jimin’s belonging before exchanging a hand shake. They bow to each other; and although Taehyung is assessing him carefully, Jungkook barely makes eye contact.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m-”

“Koo… this is Taehyungie…” Jimin bawls out, hiccuping so harshly he can barely breathe.

Introduce me, Jimin. Tell him I’m your boyfriend. Jungkook pleads internally, but Jimin never gets the chance to, which only breaks Jungkook more.

Instead, Jimin is crying, uncontrollably and relentlessly. Jungkook is too slow to wrap his arms and calm his lover, because Taehyung is quick to engulf him in a hug, shushing him and kissing his head.

f*ck, that hurt.

But could he blame them? They were torn apart for nearly a year. Jimin having thought Tae could be dead. Taehyung being a literal survivor of unfortunate events. Jungkook didn’t belong in this circle. At all. Namjoon hyung had ties with them… but in this circle, Jungkook is an outsider.

He turns to Namjoon then, trying to mask the pain that’s burning throughout his body like wildfire. He hopes his hyung doesn’t notice it.

Jungkook fakes a smile. “I… I have to go meet Jin Hyung. I’ll take a cab if that’s okay? I want… I don’t want… you three should catch up. I- I don’t…”

“Jungkook, it’s fine. I can take you…”

Jungkook shakes his head. “No, no I insist. I don’t want to intrude right now; it’s better if I just see Jin Hyung now… it seemed urgent.”

Namjoon doesn’t budge, just frowns and disagrees politely.

“I need a minute, hyung. Please.”

That’s when Namjoon’s eyes soften, finally understanding the situation and realizing the discomfort. He takes Jungkook’s wrist and slightly pulls him to the side, away from earshot between the crying duo, during their grief onto each other.

“Jimin loves you,” Namjoon reminds him, but they sound dry in Jungkook’s ears.

“I know… I know he does.”

“You’re worried; it makes sense given their relationship. But you have nothing to be afraid of, Jungkook. He loves you.”

“Thank you,” Jungkook breathes. “I just don’t know how to react right now.”

“I didn’t either,” Namjoon sighs, placing his hand behind his neck as he sighs. “Life is messy that way. Go see Jin-ah, alright? He really needs to talk to you.”

“Do you know what it’s about?”

“I do? But I’m not in a position to talk to you about it… I rather not… I’m not sure how to talk to you about it so… sorry I-“

Jungkook shakes his head and pats Namjoon’s shoulder in reassurance. “It’s fine. Don’t sweat it,” Jimin chuckles, though it sounds bland even in his ears. He makes his way over to Jimin, hands shaking in anxiety as he taps his lover’s shoulder. Suddenly their relationship feels as if they’re set on a timer, and it’s dismantling Jungkook’s spirit rapidly. The two break apart and Taehyung respectively gives them a small window of privacy as he goes over to Namjoon to control his emotions.

Jimin is barely coherent, wasted on overwhelming emotions as he’s looking up and Jungkook.

“I’m gonna go, baby, alright? I have to meet Jin hyung. Will I see you at my home?”

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

“Jungkook,” Jimin cries, holding in his wretched sobs that are sure to pierce through Jungkook’s heart.

Please say you’ll stay with me.

“Is it okay if I stay with Taehyung tonight?”

It’s amazing how quickly ‘perfect’ comes breaking down. Jungkook inhales a sharp breath and forces himself to hold his emotions back. He can’t cry -he can’t allow to show Jimin his pain and hurt. It’s unwarranted and unreasonable. His f*cking best friend is back… of f*cking course Jimin would prefer to spend time with him after being separated for a year.

“I j-j-ust… I can’t b-believe he’s home,” Jimin wails falling into Jungkook’s arms. “He’s finally home.”

“Of course baby, of course.” Jungkook grits out, ignoring the pain each time he hears Jimin sob. “I understand.” Jungkook does. He does understand… but he also can’t f*cking understand anything right now.

“Tomorrow…” Jungkook whispers. “Tomorrow when I-I’m n-not a m-m-mess… when I f-f-igure out what happened… l-let’s all have a get t-together? I-is that okay?”

Jungkook would give Jimin anything.

Is this what Yoongi meant when he pointed out Jungkook’s tendencies to put his lover’s happiness above his own? It really f*cking hurt right now, but he’s not going to ban Jimin from seeing his best friend, even if it meant destroying his heart in the process. This disregard of his feelings were justifiable because he’s not meant to be bitter over this interaction.

He doesn’t have a right to be bitter at Taehyung, nor Jimin.

So all of his emotions… his frustration, anxiety and fear are directly to be blamed to himself.

So he swallows the hurt and nods. His smile is forced, and usually Jimin always points it out, even scolds him for it -but this time, Jimin does it, just returns the smile and thanks him.

“Call me when you get home?”

“Call me if you ever need me?” Jungkook asks. Do you still need me?

“Of course.” Jimin presses a kiss to Jungkook… short and fleeting… Jungkook’s toxic mind relates it to the possible future of their relationship.

It’s bad. It’s so f*cking bad and Jungkook needs to leave. So when Jimin finally lets him go, Jungkook is quick to spin on his heels, waving a small farewell to Namjoon and Jimin… and a quiet look to Taehyung before he rushes out to find a cab.

His mind is nowhere when he gives the cab driver his address. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone… wants to hole himself up and cry over the scenarios that can possibly play out now that Jimin’s soulmate has returned. It didn’t help that all his imaginations weren’t particularly in his favor in each ending. In every thought, in ever scenario…. Kim Taehyung always gets Jimin in the end

There’s too many history. Too many hidden feelings. Too many chemistry and love between those two.

There is no way Jungkook can be the one for him.

He’s already doubted himself with Taehyung… and that’s when Taehyung wasn’t even here. But now that he is… Jungkook is breaking down piece by piece.

There’s so much love and purity in Jimin -and so much of it shared with Jungkook. He can’t let that go; he won’t. However, he can’t say the same from Jimin’s perspective.

Jungkook wants to forget everything. He no longer has the desire to see Jin… opting to just got home and wallow in his own misery. He can do that now, Jimin wouldn’t be coming home tonight anyway. He doesn’t even shoot Jin a text… contemplating whether or not to shut his phone down and be nonexistent for just a few hours until his heart is done shattering and his mind is down scrambling.

Maybe sleep would help.

Maybe he just needed to cry.

He just needs to remember: Jimin loves him.

Or at least, that’s what Jungkook desperately wants to believe.

Jungkook’s breaking apart as he finally reaches home, luggages in his hand, and Jimin-less. He decides as he puts the key into his threshold and turns the knob: he’ll cry it out, vent it out, grieve over his toxic mindset and wake up anew and understanding. He can be friends with Taehyung -afterall, he loves Jimin just as much as he does… and anyone who loves and cares for Jimin is instantly on Jungkook’s good graces. He can be the best boyfriend Jimi will ever have, anyone would ever dream of having, which ultimately gives him no doubts over their relationship at all. And all will be fine. Happiness is still in his grasp so long as Jungkook stops thinking of the worst case scenario.

He’s calmed himself just a little as he pushes his luggage inside and into the middle of the living room. He just needs to sleep…

But Jungkook stops at the threshold of his bedroom. Suddenly, once more, the idea of happiness vanishes -no where in sight. The sense of perfect is non existent. The worst scenario, something even worse than what he's thought of during the taxi ride presents itself firmly by the man sitting upon his bed, contempt clear on his face.

Jungkook realizes that he’s never once thought of him when it should have been a possibility when Taehyung appeared at the airport. He should have at least entertained the thought, but all he could think about was Jimin. Jimin is the only thing in his mind now.

So his heart completely disintegrates when he locks eyes with him. Jungkook is suddenly washed with exhaustion and disbelief.

The last bit of hope teeters dangerously over the ledge.

How is this happening? Why now? Why after a year?

Jungkook feels broken… even more so than when he was first left behind. Who knew returning could be Jungkook’s complete, utter downfall.

“How are you back?” Jungkook whispers tiredly, wanting so bad to be all an illusion. It’s better to think he’s once again in that delirious state than or it to be actually true. What a sh*tty thought, Jungkook knows that. But he can’t handle another surprise; he can’t handle another risen body.

He’s mourned. He’s grieved. He finally let go. He can’t just come back.

“You don’t sound like you miss me, Jungkook.”

And f*ck. It’s not an illusion. Everything is falling apart. A part of him is relieved to know he’s not a figment of his imagination, conjured up because Jungkook feels like he’s at his lowest point and subconsciously thinking of him because he often relates that feeling in their relationship.

No, it’s not a f*cking illusion when he hears steps approach him, light and airy. The sound is familiar but distant, like a ghostly memory.

It’s not an illusion when he feels the touch of his cold hand press up against his taut cheek, wet from his traitorous tears.

“How are you here… Eunwoo?”

Chapter 6: Stay With You

Chapter Text

Eunwoo is sitting nonchalant on his and Jimin’s bed; Jungkook had the bed replaced a little after he made love to his little blonde lover, thinking it was a little disrespectful to Jimin on having him sleep on the same mattress he and Eunwoo shared before. So instead of the King sized bed, with dark gray linen covers, he opted for a Queen sized bed and white silk sheets. It matched Jimin’s bright personality, and Jungkook appreciated a smaller bed, as it gave him less space for Jimin to sleep away from him whenever he rolled out of his arm during his sleep.

It didn’t look right having Eunwoo there on Jimin’s side of the bed. Despite being shocked at seeing him alive, Jungkook is getting a little more peeved each second he spends boring his gaze into Eunwoo’s condescending glare.

However, even if he has thousands of questions lingering on the tip of his tongue, Jungkook’s mouth is dry. He doesn’t know how to start talking to this person again. He’s spent months away from him, spent a a couple more months tearing away from the bond they had and the relationship he’s come to realize was f*cking toxic.

How can he suddenly be here.

“Really, Jungkook? What happened to your taste?” Eunwoo asks, patting the spot next to him on his bed. Then he glances around, eyeing the plants perched around the room, the new accent chair in the corner with a white cotton throw over it, and next to it a circular stand to house Jimin’s books -he likes to read before sleeping.

“Didn’t peg you for a colorful type of guy. I’ve been gone for a year and you already resort to childish home interiors?”

Sure, they weren’t items that Jungkook had picked out… but they are of Jimin’s taste. It’s Jimin’s belongings that he’s criticizing and mocking and staring at with so much disdain. And that irks Jungkook to no end. He’s long since allowed Jimin free rein over how he can contribute to his home as long as they’re not clutter or mess, and for the most part, it makes Jungkook happy.

He loves the little signs of Jimin in his home.

It filled his house with a little warmth, something he lacked in his home before he met Jimin. He likes the little monsteras and succulents that colored his room green -he especially loves seeing Jimin wake up in the morning to greet them with smiles as he waters them and makes sure they are given enough sunlight.

He loves seeing Jimin all cuddled up in his reading chair, swaddled in his throw with his toes and nose poking out as he reads his latest book. It was one of the cutest things he’s ever seen Jimin do -and Jimin is almost cute every single moment so that says something.

So f*ck Eunwoo for tainting that with his judgment.

Jungkook won’t allow it.

“It shouldn’t matter to you, Eunwoo.”

Eunwoo raises his eyebrow challengingly. “Doesn’t matter? I live here with you, Jungkook. If I don’t like it, it’s out.”

That freezes Jungkook because he isn’t wrong, per say. Eunwoo is back -his parents never proclaimed him dead, in hopes that he’d still be out there despite their rancid relationship, so that meant Eunwoo is still an owner as he’s only been classified as a missing person. The house is under their names as Jungkook cosigned with him.

He’s been planning to ask Jimin to move in with him.

How can Eunwoo just come back and already ruin everything for him.

Yet Jungkook doesn’t have it in him to be truly mad about it because it’s a miracle he’s alive and breathing after a year of Jungkook thinking he’s dead. So he can’t stop himself from being relieved and happy that’s he’s back.

And seeing Eunwoo now…

Jungkook’s heart can’t take it.

He can’t call Jimin to calm him down -he’s with Taehyung.

f*ck! He’s with his childhood best friend whom he loves.

He’s afraid of losing Jimin.

He’s afraid of losing himself.

He’s f*cking afraid.

Jungkook starts feeling his hands shake, his breath cut off, and his vision blur. Am I crying? By the way Eunwoo is starting at him, his bandaged hands running through his hair as he observes Jungkook’s faltering mannerisms with judgment, Jungkook is sure then that he’s completely losing it. Jungkook doesn’t have the mind to question him -he isn’t mentally in the right headspace to even care.

He feels his legs move before his mind processes it. Eunwoo’s voice as he calls for him sound like ringing in his ears, piercing him uncomfortably. Jungkook’s at the door before he can be stopped and he’s running, ignoring the burn in his chest and the roughness in his throat from holding in his sobs.

Everything is so unbearably stifling and it clogs Jungkook’s heart with nothing but pain and confusion, frustration and anger. It’s until he’s drowned in his own sweat, clothes clinging to his body like a second skin where Jungkook finds himself at his workplace, right beyond Jin’s doors. Jungkook feels the stare surround him, but shame has long been overridden by complete depression.

He pounds on the door almost desperately.

“Hyung,” Jungkook calls out brokenly. When Jin doesn’t answer after a few seconds, Jungkook’s mind starts spinning. He clings to the door handle a little tighter, just to ensure he doesn’t fall on his knees and break down right there and then. “Hyung!” Jungkook wails a little more urgently.

The door nearly flies open and Jin is on the other side with blown out eyes, taking in Jungkook’s drastic state for a second before immediately pulling the younger in and closing the door shortly after.

Jin doesn’t have to say anything -he already knows what the younger is here for and has prepared himself mentally to be there to guide and help him. He doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Jungkook and shush him, cradling his head into his neck and breaks when he feels the fresh feel of moisture press against his flesh. The older of the two hasn’t held Jungkook like this in so long since the other is always so adamant on not being babied. But Jungkook be damned if he thinks Jin would ever let him fall apart by himself. So even when he feels resistance push up against his chest, Jin clings to Jungkook with certainty: he isn’t letting Jungkook go.

“I’m here, Kook. I’m here,” Jin assures, rolling his cheek on Jungkook’s bed of messy hair.

It was a shock to him, too… seeing Eunwoo. He’d been bandaged up and a little beaten looking, but he was there, front page of their newspaper and media sights.

SURVIVORS RETURN AFTER A 14 MONTHS

He hadn’t been the only one to return; Jin skims through the passage and reads a list of several other survivors. Kim Taehyung.

Namjoon had been equally as shocked, racing to find which hospital his old friend was stationed in. But Jin couldn’t process the events that were unfolding right before his eyes as he continues to read through the article.

There was a split… although majority of the passengers had unfortunately passed away due to the storm that commenced during the crash and submergence into the cold ocean water, there was a split in waves. A large majority of the then survivors were pulled East, an area where rescue jets and ships hovered over, while a slim part of survivors drifted North.

The waves pushed them drastically further away from the crashing sight, and it was infuriating to think the rescuers probably hadn’t done a thorough job… or if they had, it was saddening to think the hopelessness the other survivors had felt not being found.

Cha Eunwoo

Kim Taehyung

Cha Eunwoo

Jin couldn’t help but grimace. He’s happy for his Joonie to have one of his best friends back and well… if his mentality is still intact after a traumatic experience… Jin is even extremely happy for Jimin’s sake to have his soulmate back.

But his mind couldn’t fathom the extreme discomfort and distraught Jungkook would go through having to face his ex fiancé once more. He’s happy with Jimin -the most happy he’s ever seen him. Jin can’t take having that be stripped away from him. Jin is afraid the little reunion will put a strain on a relationship Jungkook is genuinely happy in.

“I can’t tell him…” Jin sighs tiredly. He’ll let him know when he lands… Jungkook deserves to feel every bit of joy on his trip in Japan. Until then, Jin just has to get himself ready for the mess that’s sure to come.

“He’s back, hyung. He’s back.”

“I know, I know.” Jin shuffles both of their bodies back until they hit the front of the sofa set within his office. “Here, let’s take a seat and calm down.”

“I don’t know what to do. How to feel. I’m so f*cking scared.”

Jin is breaking at every inflection in Jungkook’s faltering sobs, and the way he shakes slightly in his arms, and the breath he’s barely taking into his lungs.

“He’s going to leave me, hyung.”

That takes Jin off guard completely. No words leave his mouth in attempt to understand what Jungkook means, but he opens and closes his lips in confusion hoping sound escapes.

“He came back… and he’s going to leave me…”

“I-” Jin wants to understand, but a small sense of fury is starting to quell deep in him. Disbelief is evident in his tone when Jin frowns and asks Jungkook if he wants Eunwoo to stay with him. Even after all the treatment… and even after meeting Jimin.

Jin likes to think he knew Jungkook a little better after their heart to heart a couple weeks before he had went on his trip. Was he mistaken?

Jungkook takes offense to the question and finally successfully pushes back from Jin. There’s a hint of range and disgust on Jungkook’s features when he’s pulled back enough for the two to face each other.

“What kind of question is that?” Jungkook scowls. “Jimin means everything to me. Eunwoo can go f*ck himself.” Even if he says it, Jungkook feels a tinge of guilt in his heart at referring to his last love with so much disdain despite the ordeal the other man has obviously gone through.

Jin blinks twice before he doubles back in laughter. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes in between cackles. “I just… when you said he came back and you’re afraid of him leaving I assumed you meant Eunwoo… But what do you mean?” Jin tilts his head so his side in puzzlement. “You’re afraid Jimin is gonna leave just because Eunwoo is back? That’s ridiculous, Kook, and you know it. Do you doubt him that much? Are you afraid Eunwoo is gonna do some sh*t?”

Jungkook deflates into his seat, exhaustion blanketing over him like bricks. “No…” His voice is low and hoarse, almost non existing with the way he’s been crying for what felt like hours. “Kim Taehyung is back, hyung… he’s back.”

Visions of the two soulmates bombard Jungkook’s mind mercilessly, as if his heart couldn’t already handle the pain of everything that’s happened within the last hour. He’s just gotten back from an amazing trip with the love of his life; he isn’t at all ready for it to all go downhill so fast.

“He’s gonna leave me,” Jungkook whispers, crowding into himself to hide the tears away from Jin.

“He isn’t, Kook.” Jin is trying to sound sure and assuring, but he isn’t aware of the fears Jungkook has when Jimin is involved. He’s never seen them like this other than the times they were disgustingly in love, or disgustingly in love and bickering.

“You don’t know that.”

“You don’t know, either.”

“You don’t get it,” Jungkook barks, burying his head further into his own hands, digging his fingers in to stop the tears from falling. “You weren’t there every time Jimin broke down missing him. You weren’t there every time he opens up his phone and there’s albums and albums of the two of them that he looks through. Hyung, he wanted to be more than just friends. You weren’t there when we spent our last night in Tokyo and his f*cking wish when we saw a shooting star was for Taehyung to be happy. And I wished for us… and he wished for him. You don’t know just how much Park Jimin loves him!”

“Are you forgetting how much Park Jimin loves you?”

Jungkook shakes his head, refusing to hear the comforting words he needs to listen to.

“Not as much as he loves him, hyung.”

“You’re being stupid.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re doubting, Jimin. You say you aren’t, but you are!”

“I know he loves me,” Jungkook shouts, pulling his head out from his hands to glare at Jin with bloodshot eyes. “But I love him so much more. And I know Jimin. I know just how important Taehyung is to him. He’s his f*cking soulmate for crying out loud! I was there for him every night he has nightmares… crying out for him… hoping he’s happy and safe and wishes he’s back home! I’m not enough. I’m a f*cking wreck! I’ve known that… Jimin’s known that. And I was okay with it, but now I’m not because he’s there. He’s back… hyung,” Jungkook stares up, falling deep into an abyss of complete isolation in his darkening mind -the trauma and fear clear in his hazy gaze; it nearly breaks Jin apart.

“I love him, hyung,” Jungkook wails. “I love him so, so much.”

Jin softens his eyes and brings Jungkook over for another hug, a little tighter so that the younger can’t break free a second time. He lets Jungkook sob into his shoulders and resorts to not saying a single word until the younger can breathe properly.

It’s subtle, but Jin rocks Jungkook back and forth. He remembers how the younger version of him would always find peace in Busan waves -it reminds him of home when things were easier… before doubt, hesitation, and insecurity clouded over his happiness. Relief floods Jin when Jungkook starts to quiet down and find his breathing in shallow and paced breaths.

“Jimin isn’t leaving…” Jin tries again. “You know Jimin better than anyone else, Kook. He’s full of love. And hurting you is the last thing he wants to do.”

Jungkook only clings tighter.

“But he can still hurt me.”

“Are you willing to hurt Jimin?” Jin asks fiercely.

“Never,” Jungkook sneers back.

“Then stop this. Have a little faith in our little blondie, alright? You’ll hurt him if he ever sees you think that Jimin could love you any less than how much you love him. Give Jimin a chance to show that to you without you already making judgements for yourself; it isn’t fair to either of you.”

There’s logic in his words, but Jungkook’s emotions are so high strung for him to even think properly. Even so, he tries desperately to allow the advice to seep in and encourage his mind to slow down. He wants to calm his heart down and think rationally, despite all the irrational events that recently happened.

He’s right.

Among the detrimental thoughts and negative scenarios, Jungkook needed to understand that Jimin has always been there for him even during his shortcomings. No matter what, Jimin had always given Jungkook the chance to make his own decisions, believe the best of him, and eventually helped guide him to be the person he’s always wanted to be.

Jungkook should feel ashamed ever having thought that Jimin would think less of him -it discredits Jimin’s pure intentions… his heart and his feelings. The realization does nothing but make Jungkook feel sick in the stomach, because after all this time, he’s still not taking into account of Jimin’s feelings.

He bites his lips and forces himself to cease his tears and cries.

Strong. That’s all he needs to do: be strong and understanding.

Jimin had lost his soulmate -his best friend. He can’t think of Taehyung in a negative light -he shouldn’t wish he hadn’t returned. It’s evil. Taehyung has been Jimin’s support for so long, but that doesn’t mean Jungkook can’t continue to be part of Jimin’s life as an additional guide. He needs to stop thinking of himself as replaceable, because what comes out of Jimin’s loyalty to Taehyung in spite of the tragedy only meant that Jimin never thinks of anyone as replaceable.

He’s sure his cemented a place in Jimin’s heart.

He’s his boyfriend. That is a fact, whether or not both Taehyung and Eunwoo returned.

And Jungkook will stay as his boyfriend -but only if he acts right.

It’s been an hour in Jin’s office and Jungkook finally clears his head, his resolve solid and sure: he isn’t going to let anyone impede in his and Jimin’s happily ever after. As f*cked up as it sounds, destiny brought them together. Their linkage of their suffrage over Flight 52 is no mere coincidence; he’s sure he was meant to be there for Jimin -and Jimin in return be there for him.

They were each other’s happiness and love through a haze of darkness.

So long as Jungkook stays with him.

So long as Jimin stays with him.

“I need to go back,” Jungkook announces, pulling back from Jin to rub at his swollen eyes. “I need to talk to Eunwoo.”

“Are you sure you wanna do that now? Feel free to stay at mine, Kook-ah; you don’t have to deal with him-”

“I need to,” Jungkook interrupts, his tone strong and heavy. “He’s in that space judging the f*ck out of Jimin’s things… and I… I hate that. I won’t let him do that. If he decides to stay… or if he doesn’t want to leave, I’m packing it all up… I’ll find a new place or I’ll ask Jimin if I could… f*ck no, that’s shameless of me,” Jumgkook tsks and shakes his head. “Taehyung was his roommate before and I’m sure he’ll stay there again… I don’t wanna impose. f*ck, just thinking of them together hurts me, but the thought of having to stay with Eunwoo pains me more. I’ll rent a space… hyung, I’ll just-”

“…handle it,” Jin finishes with a single breath. “Let me handle it, Kook.”

“Huh?”

“Ask Jimin first… I’m sure he won’t mind. But if you mind, I have a space for you -rent free. A temporary space just so you don’t have to be with him if he’s too much for you.”

“You don’t have to, hyung…”

Jin rolls his eyes and lightly punches Jungkook’s shoulder. “I know that. But I’d rather you stay by yourself or with Jimin than spend another day with that person.”

Jungkook cracks a sad smile over the tone of annoyance brief over at the nameless man. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize what kind of person he was… you were all telling me and I just… f*ck, I was so stupid to just let it all happen.”

“You didn’t let it happen, Kook… you were unstable and he took advantage of that.”

Jungkook shakes his head in shame and sighs. His head lolls over to the sofa as he skims around Jin’s office, taking in the hues of dark gray and wood that remind him eerily of his space back home before colors started filtering in by Jimin.

“I let it,” Jungkook argues back somberly. “I did everything for him because it’s what I wanted to do. Nobody forced me to stay with him. Eunwoo never forced me-”

“He didn’t have to force you, Kook, but he did stomp on your feelings; he invalidated you and made you feel worthless at times. No one would ever just let that happen to them. He knew how to break you -manipulate you. And I never knew! We never knew just want type of f*ckery relationship you were in. Maybe Yoongi… just a little, but we never knew. If we did, f*ck, I would have gotten you out of there sooner. I’m sorry, Kook. Hyung is sorry!”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It is.” Jin slumps into his shoulders. “I saw you change before my very own eyes… saw the way you started to distance yourself… and I should have reached out more; I should have tried to understand the problem…”

“I wasn’t exactly letting you in, hyung,” Jungkook tries to comfort for the second time. They never got the proper talk the first time around after he spilled all of his apparent abuse to his hyungs shortly after planning his trip with Jimin a couple weeks back. Jungkook was too overly drained to hear what his hyungs had to say about the ordeal he’s faced, and soon after he was a plane out to Japan.

Guilt rears its head back into Jungkook’s conscience at the sight of the vivid remorse reflecting in Jin’s glassy eyes.

“I should have noticed sooner… the way you dropped your dreams… the way you stopped smiling… the way you were always so submissive to Eunwoo on the rare chances you brought him to our even rarer outings back then…”

“Hyung…”

“That’s right. I’m your hyung. And I failed looking after you.”

“But that’s my problem, too,” Jungkook groans. “I didn’t want to be looked after… and that’s all you guys did. Sometimes I want to feel reliable and independent, but it’s hard when everyone was always excusing or justifying my behavior. It was hard when I felt as if I was making mistake after mistake and you guys had to constantly save me. I felt incompetent and incomplete.” Jungkook smiles at Jin to assure him that he held no animosity over it. “But that’s not because of you guys… it’s just my own toxic mind not being able to appreciate you guys properly. Jimin told me I had a weird conception of what it means to be an adult… he’s right, though, because I did. I only pretend to know. And that’s my falling out… I wanted to grow up so quick that I let Eunwoo feed lines and lines of abuse just to ensure that the person I grew into would be that -an adult. But I was always just a puppet, huh?”

Jungkook plays with his fingers, avoiding Jin’s attention altogether now.

“After awhile I just felt like everyone’s puppet. I didn’t know how to be me… even with you guys. I felt fake to everyone. To Eunwoo, I wanted to be prim and proper… to you guys that wasn’t who you knew so I tried to be… someone I couldn’t remember being, but you all still thought I was cold and distant. Maybe I was… I don’t know. But I just didn’t know who I was anymore.”

“Jungkook, that’s not-”

“It was like that to me,” Jungkook cuts in. “I never told anyone what I felt because it was a nuisance. Well, I thought it was. Admitting being lost meant I had no control over my life… which meant I was still the same aimless kid that hadn’t grown a bit. I wanted control over my life, hyung… I thought I had that with Eunwoo.”

“He manipulated you into thinking that you did.”

“I manipulated myself.”

“Jungkook, don’t excuse what he’s done to you…”

“I should have had more control over my life. Eunwoo couldn’t have that much power over me.”

“But he did.”

“And he shouldn’t have. So it’s my fault.”

“Why are you protecting him still?” Jin snaps back as gently as he could, but he’s frustrated. “Why are you always finding fault in yourself?”

“Because I need to learn from it!” Jungkook raises his voice. “Hyung, you need to realize that I’m not here to argue against Eunwoo being an asshole. He is an asshole. But he only makes me feel worthless because that’s what I think of myself. Don’t… don’t invalidate my feelings, too, hyung. Don’t protect me as if I had no clue… I knew… but I tried to stay strong and hold onto whatever control I could of my life. I genuinely thought Eunwoo loved me. I seriously thought I loved him back. At one point, maybe we did… but on another thought, maybe I’m just being foolish again, huh? f*ck, maybe he never loved me.”

Jungkook lifts his lips up in a small smile. “Am I that broken?” He asks quietly, finding an answer he still hasn’t grasped in Jin’s eyes. “Am I so f*cked up that I let him do this to me? I’m still hurting in a way… you know.”

Jin matches the somber look in Jungkook’s eyes and mimics the even sadder smile from his lips. He really doesn’t know what to say and that sickens him. For so long he had no idea of the pain Jungkook must have felt being in such a relationship… for so long, he had no idea of the pain he felt even before that. Maybe Jungkook was right, they were hovering over him without so much as glancing over the actual issue… thought that Jungkook may have just changed and sought out other interests. He had no idea the other was really just losing himself to every one else’s reality of him.

“You’re not worthless…”

“That’s what everyone tries to tell me,” Jungkook whispers.

“Maybe you should start listening to them.”

Jungkook smiles then, a little warmer and accepting. Jungkook at that moment thinks of Jimin and remembers his words. He’s been the only one that never had a pre notion of who Jungkook was in the past and who Jungkook was then, yet Jimin had always never hesitated to bring forth someone Jungkook didn’t recognize, but welcomed.

“I’m starting to.” Jungkook reaches over to thread his fingers around Jin’s. “Jimin… helps me see that. You help me see that. I missed you guys, hyung.”

“I’m sorry… Kook-ah. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel… sh*t, I know we already talked about this weeks ago. I just… I need you to know I never meant to hurt you. Hyung is sorry.”

Jungkook is first to initiate the embrace this time, patting Jin’s back as if he’s consoling a child. For the first time, Jungkook feels as if he needs to do the comforting.

“I’m sorry too, hyung. I’ll try to be better -I’ll talk to you more… I’ll open up more.”

“And I’ll be someone that you can come to regardless. Anytime, anywhere, about anything. I’ll literally do anything for you,” Jin promises. “Are you sure you can face Eunwoo alone?”

“Hyung,” Jungkook starts with a roll of his eyes.

“Sorry, sorry.” Laughters follows suit with more apologies streaming from Jin’s lips. “I just can’t help but worry over my favorite dongsaeng. But call me immediately after, alright? I’ll set up a place for you and I’ll haul your ass over the minute Eunwoo starts saying sh*t. I won’t let that seething, toxic, psycho gets his grubby hands on you anymore.”

“He just came back, hyung.”

“And?” Jin argues. “I thought you said you wanted to stay away from him.”

“I do. I don’t want to live with him; I want to be with Jimin. But he may need help adjusting… I can’t just abandon him. He’s still someone that was there for me.”

“In a f*cked up way-”

“Regardless. He’s not close with his parents… he barely has any close friends…”

“Only because he was too narcissistic and up in his ego to trust anyone else-”

Jungkook blows his eyes up wide over the rambles of frustration over Eunwoo. “Hyung. I’ve never noticed you having so much anger toward him. You always seemed to be the most chill one about Eunwoo… you even tried to defend him from Yoongi hyung.”

“Yeah, well you can’t speak ill of the dead, you know.” Jin reasons, rolling his eyes. “That, and it’s before you told me about how he treated you. He can eat sh*t for all I care.”

Jungkook laughs and slaps Jin’s back. “Yeah… well, I still need to be there for him in a way.”

“You’re too kind, Kook.”

Jungkook shrugs. “I’m not just being a pushover, right? I… I’m not just doing this because I feel like I have to right? I genuinely feel like I should at least help him get used to things.”

“He’s an adult, too, Jungkook. He can help himself.” Jin sighs after thinking for a bit and resigns. As much as he wants Jungkook to pull back; he knows the younger’s heart is in the right place, so long as his mind is in the right place as well. “But he has been gone. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be brought back after a year of being gone… to almost being dead, even. I’m not stopping you from helping him… you probably won’t even listen, but don’t feel obligated. Don’t let him push you around…”

“I’d like to think I won’t anymore. There’s someone else I want to go back to after all is done; his happiness isn’t my priority.”

“Why? Because of Jimin,” Jin teases, poking Jungkook’s side with a playful grin on his face.

Jungkook laughs and pushes his hand away from him. He has a silly smile on his face whenever his lover is brought up, feels the warmth engulf him and cradle his body like a blanket. “Yeah…”

It’s different with Jimin; it’s always been different with Jimin. Jungkook knows this is love -true, genuine love. A type of love he won’t ever let go of.

“Could you maybe not tell him about Eunwoo right now? I never really told him what I’ve told you about our relationship and I don’t want him to worry for me when he has Taehyung to think about. I’ll let him know tomorrow… but please don’t worry him today.”

“Jungkook I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Please, hyung? Just for a day. I don’t want to stress him out. Could you please let Hobi and Yoongi hyung know, too? Even Namjoon hyung…”

“Jungkook…”

“Please?” Jungkook begs.

Jin sighs but relents. “Only for a day.” And Jungkook nods. “And please let the other two know how you are? They’ve been anxious about this while you were gone.”

“Yeah… I’ll text them and maybe we can all go out together? Maybe all of us can finally meet Jimin’s soulmate.” Jungkook is actually looking forward to a get together, putting aside the small hint of sadness at the term of endearment Tae and Jimin held for one another.

“Yeah, that sounds great. I’ll set it up. Don’t worry… just, just focus on what you need to do with that person. I’ll… speak to everyone else. And take your time getting everything settled, alright? I extended your vacation another week.”

“Thank you, hyung. Can I stay for a bit before I face him? I’m kind of hungry.”

“Yeah, of course, of course. I’ll be back. Let me just pick some things up from the cafe and I’ll head back up, alright? Just stay here.”

Jungkook nods his head and watches as Jin frantically leaves his office as if he isn’t the CEO of the company. When the door clicks shut and he hears the lock enable, Jungkook sinks into the sofa and pulls out his phone. He’s disheartened when he sees no new messages from Jimin, not even a single missed call.

“Shut up, Jungkook,” he chastises himself. “It’s only been a couple of hours… he’s probably catching up. Give him his space.”

But his fingers differ; he’s already typing up a message and sends it before he has a chance to rethink.

TO Jiminie Love

Hi baby… how are you?

Jungkook doesn’t expect for him to get a text back so soon, but his heart skips a beat when he sees the preview of his message on his lock screen, a picture of Jimin transparent from his wallpaper staring back at him with a smile. He’s still unbelievably high on end with his emotions, but he calms down and opens the message.

Jiminie Love

Honestly… I’m so, so happy.

Tae Tae wants to meet you, Koo c: <3 He wants to meet the person that makes me smile and feel love when he was gone. I want him to meet you, too c:

Can we come over later?

Joonie hyung and I are just stopping by to get Tae some bobba ‘cause there’s none when you’re lost at sea and on a secluded island lol Would you like anything, baby?

You should hear the story, too btw love. It’s so f*cking crazy what he’s been through :C

He’s taken back by the blocks of texts Jimin sent him in a short time, but also feels incredibly happy to know that Jimin, even in the company of someone he’s lost for a year, still manages to give him the time and consideration to ensure Jungkook that he’s here to stay -that he’s not someone to be pushed aside. It also relieves Jungkook to find out that Tae is eager to meet him, and hopefully meets him knowing he’s Jimin’s boyfriend. But he’s not quite sure he’s ready to meet him in return. Jungkook’s mind wanders to the person still in his home… or their home, and knows that he won’t be ready to meet them until he handles his own issues.

Jungkook

Love, it’s okay. I- I have to figure some things out first okay? I’ll let you know when I can meet up.

Jiminie Love

Koo? :c Is everything okay?

Jungkook:

Yeah

just enjoy your time with them, hyung

I’ll call you later? I love you. Tell Tae hyung I can’t wait to meet him, too!

Jiminie Love:

You’re not lying, right? :c I can meet you right now, baby.

Jungkook:

I’m fine, Jiminie c: Don’t worry.

Jiminie Love:

You have to make sure you call me >:c

Jungkook:

Yes Jimin ssi

Jiminie Love:

I love you

Jungkook pauses as he reads the line over and over again, letting it sink into his heart with immense passion. He’s almost tearing when he starts to send his last message.

Jungkook:

I love you more

Jungkook drives back with a little more confidence, stomach full of cafe food and mind full of Jimin. However, aside from the newfound assurance of knowing himself and feeling secure in his life, he can’t help but feel dread over seeing the man he’s revolved his entire being around for several years.

He wonders if Eunwoo is still on his bed, or if he’s picking apart all of the little details that have changed since his disappearance. Jungkook truly wants to help him get back on his feet; it isn’t like he’s returned from a place of comfort… Eunwoo was stranded… that can change a man. Maybe he’s a changed man.

Silence befalls his home and Jungkook’s hand twitches around the door knob. When he pushes the door forward, Eunwoo is present in his living room, skimming over the decor that graces the flat of his TV stand and coffee table. Little succulents here and there, more books, and Jimin’s cute trinkets. Some clash over his dark aesthetic, but after some time, Jungkook knows he’ll feel empty without them there.

Jungkook feels himself freeze when Eunwoo reaches over to handle a frame of the first photo he takes of himself and Jimin -the one at the flower field. He can’t decipher the emotions that flit through Eunwoo’s eyes when they make contact -he almost looks void.

“You’ve found a new lover?” He goes back to assess the living room. “Has he moved in? There’s a separate toothbrush in the bathroom and another set of towels. There’s clothes that I know aren’t your style in the closet… so it must be his. The bed changed… and there’s so many stuff.”

“What happened?” Jungkook deflects; he can talk about Jimin nonstop, but he can’t do that with Eunwoo -he doesn’t want to. “What happened, Eunwoo? How are you here?”

“If you were interested enough, you could just read my story out on the press. It’s all there,” Eunwoo merely explains. “I’m thirsty.”

Jungkook presses his lips together, but is already stumbling into the kitchen on command, pulling out a cold water bottle out for Eunwoo. He passes it to him at a distance, making sure their fingers touch upon the exchange. This doesn’t pass the other’s attention, Eunwoo smiles tauntingly at the display of obvious avoidance.

“I was lost, Jungkook, not infected.”

Jungkook frowns at the teasing.

“Can you tell me what happened? Are you okay?”

“I was lost, Jungkook. For a year! I’ve been in that cold ocean, freezing, thinking I was going to die for who knows how long! Then we get drifted out into a remote island, thinking ‘finally! maybe we’ll get saved’. But I starved, f*cking injured my leg, felt dehydrated, and f*cking wanted to end it right there and then because it just got too much. It felt like forever until we were found… the ones who stuck it out. The bodies… the people who haven’t made it, I’ve seen that, too. You ever saw a rotting body, Jungkook?”

There’s no response fitting for the moment. He’s never seen Eunwoo so out of composure before; for the first time in all of his time with him, Jungkook sees tons of emotions being expressed on a familiar face that used to be so cold and solid. Sure he’s seen him smile and laugh before, seen him dejected and sad, but most times he was composed. This is the first time Jungkook sees him crack.

And why wouldn’t he? Jungkook cracked in the comfort of his own room when he lost him. What should he expect of Eunwoo when he’s come back? He was so livid in his return because he’s afraid things would get messed up.

Maybe it didn’t have to be that way.

He has Jimin to keep him sane. And while Jimin is there for Taehyung, it’s only right for him to do the same for Eunwoo.

He isn’t a stranger… and he’s no longer someone Jungkook thinks to love, but he can still be there for him.

That’s what mature people will do.

Jungkook shakes his head and winces.

It’s what a decent human will do; it’s what Jungkook would do. It’s what he will do.

He texts Jimin one more time out of anxiety of not knowing what to do, ignoring the way Eunwoo rolls his eyes at him and goes about drinking his water.

Jungkook:

Love… can I ask something?

Jiminie Love:

Of course, baby, what’s on your mind?

Jungkook can’t help but smile despite the dampening atmosphere in his living room. Jimin is so quick to respond to him; it’s truly endearing, infinitely more assuring.

Jungkook:

How is Taehyung? Is he fine? Is he having a hard time adjusting?

Jiminie Love:

He’s… he’s shaken up still. I can tell even if he’s trying to be strong. He went through a lot Jungkookie… like he doesn’t want to talk much about it…

Jungkook:

You’ll be there for him though, right? Help him?

Jiminie Love:

Of course, baby. He’s my best friend c: I’ll help him and cheer him up and make him feel safe again.

But where is this coming from, love? :c

Please don’t think I’m gonna push you or something like that

That’s just ridiculous. I love you, okay :c I’ll balance my time. You can help me cheer him up. You’re so great at doing that, love… making people feel happy

Jungkook:

You always know the right thing to say…

Jiminie Love:

Koo… can I see you soon?

Jungkook:

Miss me already?

Jiminie Love:

I always do

Jungkook:

You’re beautiful. Inside and out omg

Have fun with Taehyung, baby. I’ll see you soon.

Jiminie Love:

“Just who are you texting?” Eunwoo asks annoyed, snatching the phone from Jungkook’s hand as he usually does and looks at the picture Jimin just sent of him and Taehyung. There’s recognition in his eyes, something Jungkook doesn’t understand, and then a scowl that follows.

“What’s his name?” He asks.

“Who do you mean?”

Eunwoo stares at him then, a little look of frustration and impatience evident in his expression. “The blonde one,” he points out. “That’s him right? You’re new boyfriend… he’s the same one on our nightstand. You replaced our only picture together.”

“Eunwoo…”

“I’m your fiancé, Jungkook. Well… I thought I still was.”

Jungkook can feel his heart sink at the look of dejection on him, and it makes him feel a little remorse at the situation at hand rather than the fact he’s found love in someone else. It must be tough; he can’t imagine going through the trauma of an airplane crash, the hopelessness of not being saved for over a year, being left stranded in an uncharted and remote island surrounded by strangers. Jungkook can’t even fathom the idea of surviving so long under this scenario… to see dead bodies, starve, and have your mentality and physical body decay over time. And to only come back a year later to find that their home is barely their home, and the one he had as a fiancé be happy with someone else.

If the roles were reversed, and Jimin would be in his shoes right now, Jungkook would feel like death. No matter how Eunwoo used to treat him, no one deserves so much loss. No one deservers to go through so much suffrage. He’s been through it; he can’t wish that for anyone.

Jungkook joins Eunwoo on the sofa, but with reasonable distance.

“You were gone…” Jungkook whispers, trying to reason out with gentleness. “I mourned for you, Eunwoo. I was a f*cking mess.”

“And he waltz in and made it all better?” Eunwoo mocks; clearly unappreciated as Jungkook clicks his tongue in warning, surprising Eunwoo from the reaction.

“Don’t speak of him as if he’s a curse.”

“He took you away from me; I can speak of him however I want.”

Jungkook levels his gaze on him and knows just by the glint of annoyance oozing from Eunwoo that the other isn’t going to take back his stance on the situation. He doesn’t like Jimin. Jungkook doesn’t need him to like Jimin -his opinion didn’t matter… Jungkook just rather he direct his aggression onto him instead. He’d been the one to move on.

“He didn’t do anything but help and care for me. I love him, Eunwoo. I’m sorry… you… you were gone-”

“I didn’t choose to leave, Jungkook! I didn’t choose for the airplane to crash and burn.”

“I’m not saying you did,” Jungkook tries to appease, arms reaching out but stopping mid air as if physical contact with him left a strong repellent. “I just… it’s just what happened.”

“So you’re saying you fell out of love with me?”

Jungkook nods his head slowly, frown so deep it marks lines on his skin. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“So what? You’re just going to abandon me?”

“Of course not,” Jungkook denies vehemently. “Just because I don’t love you the way I did, doesn’t mean I’m just gonna just up and leave you… I’ll help you… you’ve been through too much. Are you hurting anywhere? Do you have any trauma that I need to be aware of? Any triggers that I have to mind? Eunwoo… just tell me and I’ll make it comfortable for you.”

“I want you back,” Eunwoo smiles.

f*ck. He smiled.

Jungkook is taken back by the warm reaction, his heart constricting tightly over the display of foreign affection -it’s a rare interaction Jungkook had strived to expel for him when they were together.

“You can’t tell me that you completely let me go…” Eunwoo’s body turns completely in his direction and palms the empty space between them as he leans forward. “I always thought of you… you helped me keep going,” he whispers as his eyes flicker between Jungkook’s eyes and lips. “I just wanted to come back home to you, Jungkook. I wanted you to hold me again, and sleep with me again…”

Somehow the older one is merely a breath away. Jungkook’s nerves stilled despite watching Eunwoo reach him with panic fidgeting. He should pull away, put a reign in whatever Eunwoo is trying to do, push away, move away… but Jungkook is stuck.

“I’ve been so tired… I was cold and alone… I just missed you so much, Jungkook. I missed you so much…”

It finally took Eunwoo pressing his hand a little to close to his crotch as he attempts to dive toward him for Jungkook to lightly push against his advances, stopping a prompted kiss before it could land. Guilt seeps into his nerves at the thought of almost being subjected to a kiss that weren’t with Jimin’s lips, and Jungkook feels bile rise in his throat at the realization it took him so long for him to stop it. He feels so much guilt, he throws himself off the couch and stands near the other side of the room, leaning against the wall for much needed distance.

Eunwoo sits straight after the rejection. He frowns at Jungkook. “You don’t want me.”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“You’ve really let go.”

“I had to.”

“Years, Jungkook. We’ve been together for years. You’re being reckless and impulsive again -I thought we’ve talked about this. How long do you even know him for?”

Jungkook chooses to disregard his jabs at his character and answers as asked. The response he elicits isn’t pleasant to hear.

“Just half a year? I’m only worth six months of being remembered? It took only eight months with him to make me that insignificant for you? Eight months for me to realize that he’s taken over your life?”

Jungkook crosses his arms in defense and hardens his stance at the accusation over Jimin being the one to run my life -the audacity Eunwoo had to even say such a thing when he’s done that to him for years.

“He isn’t you, Eunwoo.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s not controlling my life. He actually gives me opportunities to make decisions for myself.”

“You’re saying I didn’t?”

“Seriously?” Jungkook exasperates. Raising his eyebrows in genuine concern over the dismissiveness of the dynamic between their relationship in the past. “I felt suffocated with you. I tried to do everything you wanted-”

“I never forced you.”

“What?”

“Jungkook, you were never like this.”

“Like what? Standing up for myself?”

Eunwoo takes a large breath; it’s obvious he’s getting frustrated, but he’s still trying to keep his cool.

“Jungkook, I’m sorry if I made you feel like you never had a choice. But tell me this: did I ever force you to do anything. Did I ever give you an ultimatum? Did I ever threaten you? I never did. I never forced you to do anything. You wanted to do them… all I ever did was ask you, but you decided to do them. How am I supposed to know that that’s not what you wanted when you never say anything?”

Jungkook can’t answer so he stays silent. How can he tell Eunwoo that he’s wrong when he’s right. Jungkook never really tried to fight against his desires; he just never wanted to make him mad. Eunwoo never coerced him to drop his passions… drop his friends… never forced him to work with him… go to parties… act a certain way…

That was all Jungkook.

Jungkook was just afraid of not being mature enough for a life that’s different. Jungkook was just too insecure himself… that’s not Eunwoo’s fault, was it? Sure he got mad at him when he didn’t act the way he wants, but Jungkook never tried to argue back or at least talk to him about.

What was it about Eunwoo that made him so scared?

Had being with Jimin just construe his remembrance of how he’s been with Eunwoo? Because they were completely different. Things were just easy with Jimin, even when they bicker and argue… Jimin makes an effort to at least assess his feelings and understand him… Jimin never asked much from him and never made him feel bad for his choices, nor did he impose his decisions onto him.

But he never gave Eunwoo the chance to change himself because Jungkook never spoke to him about it… well, he doesn’t think he had.

So was it really fair to blame Eunwoo for all the sh*t he’s felt? All the decisions he made?

He’s starting to doubt all of the thoughts he had of Eunwoo when he wasn’t here to defend himself. It’s so easy to realize the sh*t he’s been through, coloring his own mind of the toxicity when he wasn’t around to explain his half. Now Jungkook isn’t so sure…

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook whispers.

Then he smiles again… Eunwoo smiles again, but it isn’t warm. It isn’t like Jimin’s, where you can feel the light radiate and fill your entire body with serotonin. Somehow, Eunwoo seems a little calculative, like planned emotions and words and actions. But Jungkook… has never been keen on catching them. Eunwoo isn’t Jimin whom Jungkook tries to be incredibly attentive to, so he misses it completely when Eunwoo lifts his smile into a smirk.

“It’s okay, Jungkook. I haven’t been here… you’ve been with your hyungs again right? You know they never liked me.”

“Don’t.”

“I’m just saying,” Eunwoo shrugs. “I wasn’t there for you, Jungkook. But I’ve always been there for you. When I’m not, it’s easier to forget how I was. It’s easier to fall back into your other friendships and seek comfort from then. I get it.”

Jungkook shakes his head and tries to push aside the gentleness in Eunwoo’s voice.

“Calm down, Jungkook. I’m not saying it’s bad that they were. I’m not mad you’re with them again… I’m glad that they were. Just please don’t forget that I have always been there for you, Jungkook, when they couldn’t understand you. Please don’t let them not liking me decide how you feel for me. You said it yourself… you make your own choices. Please don’t be influenced…”

“Don’t talk about my hyungs,” Jungkook swallows. “You never liked them either, but they’re here to stay.”

“Again… I’m not forcing you to leave them.”

“But you did ask me to. You don’t think that is problematic in itself? You shouldn’t have asked me that in the first place.”

“I was uncomfortable, Jungkook. At least I communicate and tell you my feelings. You never did. But fine, since we’re all in the open about feelings today, do you know how it feels to always have someone so distant? I bring you to parties and events; I try to have you meet new friends… but you’re always so -I don’t know, not present! It was like dating a wall sometimes.”

“That’s what you thought I was? A wall? Eunwoo, I’ve tried to always make you happy. My whole life was to just make you happy.”

“Then why did it look like you suffered every time? As if making me happy was a f*cking chore for you. You think I was cold? But how could I not feel like sh*t every time you treated me like that.”

“I- that’s not-”

“But that’s how it felt! I love you, Jungkook. And I’m still here because I love you. I don’t give a sh*t if you’ve met someone… I love you and I’m here to f*cking stay.”

“That’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair is coming home to a house I barely recognize and my fiancé loving someone else. What’s not fair is suffering for a whole year thinking I had something to return to when I f*cking don’t apparently. That’s not fair…”

Jungkook is quiet -his body and mind completely shut down.

“I don’t want to fight.”

“…neither do I.” Jungkook finds himself slowly walking back to the couch and sitting in the small place he’d originally been in before running away. His legs brush up against Eunwoo’s, and Jungkook holds his hand gently above the other’s thigh. He’s not looking at Eunwoo now -not wanting to see the expression on his face when he apologizes once more.

This is not how he thought his confrontation to turn out. He never expected to feel even more like sh*t, feel even more of a disgusting human being. At least he’s finally hearing what Eunwoo thought of the entire situation when they were together…

Was Jungkook that bad? Was he actually the bad guy in their relationship?

“I’m sorry… can we… can we just talk about something else?”

Eunwoo holds his hand with just the same amount of pressure. “Yeah, Jungkook, of course.”

“I love Jimin, Eunwoo…”

“Jimin? Is that his name?”

“Yeah… I’m sorry for being the worse when we were together… you deserve more than what I gave.”

“You can try again,” Eunwoo encouraged, trying to find Jungkook’s gaze, but the younger always shifted away. “We can try again. I’m back now, Jungkook.”

“I can’t leave him.”

“So you’ll leave me?”

Jungkook sighs. “Like I said… I’ll be there for you, Eunwoo. I’ll be better this time, though. I’ll listen to your feelings… I won’t be so cold and distant. I’ll -I’ll tell you how I feel, too. I’ll help you get settled, work out all the legalities of your return, even bring you back home to visit your family if you’re too uncomfortable going alone. I’ll help financially until you’re back on your feet. If you have counseling, I’ll go to them with you… but I can’t be with you.”

“You’ll do all that and not be with me again? Has Jimin really taken you from me? Was all our years together nothing.”

“They weren’t nothing.” Jungkook thinks back to their time together; there were moments of genuine happiness he felt, but for the most part, Jungkook had no idea what he truly felt when he was with Eunwoo. He finally has Jimin to compare with -he’s never felt with Eunwoo what he feels with Jimin…

“I’ll pack up my things,” Jungkook announces. “Seokjin hyung found me a place to stay… I want to give you space to settle down. I’ll remove all of Jimin’s things so it’s easier for you to-”

“I don’t want to be alone,” Eunwoo argues, tightening his grip on Jungkook.

“Eunwoo, come on. You know it’ll just be hard on us to-”

“Jungkook I’ve spent countless nights alone in a place I didn’t know with people I didn’t know. I’m finally back and all I want is to be comforted by someone familiar… by someone that actually knows and cares for me… so please. Please don’t leave me alone.”

There’s no way Jungkook could say no. How evil would it be for him to deny him this request when Eunwoo is pleading for him to just stay. Obviously he isn’t in the right stand of mind… and he just promised to bet there for him.

He’ll sleep on the couch… yeah, Jungkook is still hesitant, but he could make it work.

“Fine. Yeah. I’ll stay. But distance… I can’t do this with you, Eunwoo,” he says as he pushes away from Eunwoo.

“Could you do me one more favor? Could you please move that person’s stuff out of this place? I don’t want to be reminded every inch of this house of what’s been taken from me.”

Jungkook’s already agreeing without much thought. He’s burnt out and running on autopilot at this point.

“Yeah, I’ll pack them up tonight. And let’s refinance this house so it’s under your name… when, when you’re ready I’m going to move out, okay? You’re going to be fine, Eunwoo. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I have an appointment in the morning actually… a therapy session the hospital recommended and booked for me. Could you take me? It’s at nine tomorrow.”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Could I also borrow your phone? I need to make some calls… I never got around to buying a replacement.”

“No worries, you can borrow mine. We’ll pick one up for you tomorrow after your appointment. Just let me know if I get any calls or texts, alright? I’ll start cleaning up.”

“Could you start with the sheets?” Eunwoo asks kindly as Jungkook stands ready to get to work. “You know I sleep better in linen and I’m getting quite sleepy.”

Jungkook merely nods his head and exits the living room to prep the bed for Eunwoo. It’s just for awhile… just for now. He knows he should tell Jimin soon about the situation, but he’s so tired out and conflicted, that and he didn’t want Jimin to worry while he’s already worried about Taehyung. He decides on tomorrow. He’ll call Jimin tomorrow, meet Taehyung and they can all bond over moving Jimin’s belongings and a few of his own stuff in the temporary space Jin provided for them. He’ll get to know Taehyung over lunch… and he’ll get to spend time with Jimin as well.

Tomorrow. He’ll see him tomorrow.

Jiminie Love:

Love, did you still want to meet up for a bit? Tae Tae wants to get dinner. Maybe you can join?

Koo?

• missed call from Jiminie Love -

Are you still busy?

Can you give me a call when you’re free?

Love, is everything okay?

• missed call from Jiminie Love -

Maybe you went to sleep… I asked Jinnie hyung, he said you were just loaded with a lot of things and told me not to worry. So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow? He said you wanted a get together with all of us, including Tae Tae.

I’m so excited <3 But I can’t wait to see you again more.

So goodnight, love. Sleep well. I love you.

“Hey, did anyone text or call me?” Jungkook calls out as he’s setting the bed.

“No one. Were you expecting?”

Jungkook thought Jimin would say something, but maybe he’s too preoccupied right now. He sure is with Eunwoo right now, so he can only imagine how much catching up those two had with one another. With that in mind, Jungkook doesn’t try to text Jimin until after he’s done packing everything up. He even has luggages of his own things to bring over to his new place when he thinks it’s time for him to leave Eunwoo alone.

But it doesn’t feel right for Jungkook to not say goodnight to Jimin at all. So as he midnight rolls around and he enters the room where Eunwoo is currently stationed in, Jungkook attempts to take a look around in search of his phone. But he can’t find it anywhere.

He has a half a mind to wake Eunwoo up, but he didn’t want to bother the sleeping person after such an overbearing day. Jungkook ultimately decides to resign and sink into the couch to catch some sleep, excited for what’s to come tomorrow. It’s only been less than a day since he last saw Jimin… but after the hours of non stop emotional trauma, it felt like forever.

He goes to sleep with a smile on his face.

Jungkook:

Could you pick up your things from my place? I can’t have it here anymore. I’ll be gone in the morning so please make it quick. You’re going to make my fiancé uncomfortable if he sees you there.

I’m sorry.

Please understand.

Jiminie Love:

Koo? I don’t understand…

Jungkook?

“Jungkook, up, up, up. I’m goin go the late!”

Jungkook cracks his eyes open, the first beam of sunlight peering through the windows temporarily blinds him and the younger falls from the couch in a loud thump, waking him completely in an unfortunate way.

“What’s going on?” Jungkook groans.

“My first therapy session; I got the times mixed up -we have to go now.”

Jungkook cranes his neck over to the clock and sees that it’s a quarter to seven. His body aches from the sudden fall and morning call that he struggles to even sit right, but Eunwoo is hauling him up in a second. He’s clean and ready in his black turtle neck and sleek, dark gray, linen pants. His usual go to style when he’s in a rush. In his hand is one of Jungkook’s modern hanbok, in a matching color scheme of dark gray.

He hands it over to Jungkook’s opens hands and pulls him toward the door.

“I can’t be late. You know how I am with punctuality.”

“You aren’t one to get times mixed up,” Jungkook mutters grumpily as he’s searching the table counter near the door for his keys.

“Yeah, well you lose all sense of time when you’re stranded.”

Jungkook shuts his mouth and matches Eunwoo’s frantic pace, grabbing the keys and dressing up in his hanbok in seconds while making his way toward his car. It was such an insensitive thing to say. Jungkook is following Eunwoo’s every direction, making turns and even stopping by a drive through Starbucks to get him a quick coffee. He skips getting one for himself, knowing he won’t enjoy it, and decides to ignore Eunwoo when he asked why he didn’t get any.

They’re at his appointment almost within 45 minutes, making it for his 7:30 session. Jungkook sits half daze in the corner, listening in and out as Eunwoo pours out all of his struggles. How he lost sense of what day it was slowly… how everyday he’s been afraid of what might kill him or how’d he die. Jungkook crumbles at hearing how he dealt with spraying his ankle and having someone he didn’t know work hard to keep him sane and conscience.

It was pure hell the things Eunwoo went through.

It sickened Jungkook for having thinking of Eunwoo in such a horrible light while he was out there suffering.

He probably should have declined when Eunwoo had requested that he stay in the room. But Jungkook shouldn’t be ignorant to his troubles… it’ll help him be aware of how he should act in front of Eunwoo now that he’s back. It’ll help Jungkook understand how to treat him carefully.

But even so, he can’t stop his mind from drifting off to Jimin and hoping the other isn’t worried that he hadn’t contacted him yet. The clock is veering nine in the morning, and he still has to take Eunwoo to get a new phone, reinstate his bank, and work things out at his company for his return.

Due to the rush in the morning, Jungkook wasn’t able to get his phone, completely forgetting it as Eunwoo had it the night prior.

It’s almost three in the afternoon and Jungkook is sure even his hyungs are starting to reach him as he suggested they all meet up for lunch. So once everything was settled, Jungkook makes haste back home, almost speeding through traffic illegally and nearly parks recklessly in front of his home.

When he pulls open the door, he isn’t prepared for the sight that falls before him.

There, sitting on his living room couch, staring blindly at the boxes packed all around, is his lover. It appears that he hasn’t noticed, too lost in his own thoughts as he’s still in motion. Jungkook feels his heart quicken realizing how entirely bad everything looks.

If Jimin’s been contacting him -it may very well look like Jungkook was ignoring him.

If Jimin came over to check on him, seeing all of his things packed up and the house reverted to how it looked before his lover stayed over, is a template for misunderstandings.

What’s worse he sees Jimin almost emotionless when he rounds the corner quietly, nerves shaking under anxiety over how carefully Jungkook needs to be with Eunwoo trailing behind him.

f*ck. This is not how Jungkook wanted to first introduce his ex fiancé to his current boyfriend.

“Jimin?”

“What are these?” Jimin asks, not even looking up at him. That hurts Jungkook, but he swallows the pain down quickly. This can be resolved. It can be resolved.

“It’s… your stuff. But Jimin, it’s not what you think. I just-”

“He did it for me,” Eunwoo pipes in at the most unnecessary time. Jungkook turns to glare at him simultaneously with Jimin who’s finally seeing Eunwoo for the first time. “I was uncomfortable with your things in my house.”

“I didn’t mean to…” Jimin starts off worriedly, filtering his eyes between Jungkook and Eunwoo and their close proximity.

Jungkook is quick to pull back, nearing Jimin in hopes that he’d understand that everything isn’t as it seemed. And f*ck, it seemed terrible right now.

“No, baby, no,” Jungkook whispers, reaching out for Jimin’s hands, whom pull back quickly. The reaction breaks Jungkook, because it’s not something he expects from Jimin -not anymore, at least. The rejection stings; piercing his heart in immense pain, but he stomachs it in favor of faking a smile.

A smile Jimin is always so ready to call out when it’s fake, but this time, Jimin is only glaring at him.

“Did you pack up my things, Jungkook?”

Jungkook swallows at the uncertainty in the way his name rolls off Jimin’s tongue. He nods his head as he’s unable to find his voice.

“Because it makes him… uncomfortable?”

Jungkook nods his head again.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was back? Were you with him all day yesterday and this morning?”

“I… yes, I was. He needed me… And I didn’t want you to…f*ck, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Jimin I was going to tell you.”

“When?” Jimin asks, voice cracking and tears starting to glaze over his eyes.

“Today, I was going to tell you today…”

“Ah… the get together…” Jimin muses, something akin to realization clicking in his eyes. “You wanted to tell everyone about it today at lunch, huh? That’s what it was all about? Not because… I thought you just wanted to meet Tae Tae.”

“I did!” Jungkook is quick to admit. He’s not sure what Jimin is otherwise implying, but he can’t stand the way Jimin is looking at him. It’s the same look Eunwoo gave him whenever he messed up… it appears Jimin isn’t immune to his bullsh*t after all -that he, too is capable of finding disappointment in him. And that shatters Jungkook. “I mean I do, Jiminie. I want to meet him. What’s going in your pretty, little head, love? Tell me please? Let me fix this.”

There’s confusion in Jimin’s eyes before he strays his gaze away from Jungkook to glance at Eunwoo, whom, is scowling at him and his linked hands with Jungkook.

“I don’t think your fiancé is comfortable with this, Jungkook…”

“What?” Jungkook breathes out shocked, blindsided by the sudden coldness from Jimin’s tone. He lets his lover pull away from him, and watches as he stands up from the couch.

“Jimin?”

They all turn to the the man lingering in the hallway of his home.

Taehyung.

“Sorry,” Jimin bows. “I didn’t mean to bring him to your place. He just came to check up on me since I… I stayed longer than I should have. He needed to use the bathroom. We won’t… we won’t intrude.” Jimin lifts his head back up, and Jungkook is scrambling on his feet to stop Jimin from walking away when he starts motioning Taehyung over to the front door.

But as Jimin reaches Taehyung, and Jungkook reaches Jimin, Taehyung glances over to Eunwoo with surprise on his face.

“Eunwoo?”

“Tae?”

Both Jimin and Jungkook were shocked to say the least. However, it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise to Jungkook since it’s very much possible that the two knew each other being they were both rescued and brought back to Korea. Jungkook feels stupid for not making the connection or even having it come as a fleeting thought. Yet he still stares at the two as if the revelation is something impossible.

Jimin’s soulmate knew Eunwoo… Eunwoo knew Jimin’s soulmate: Taehyung. They were so knotted in so many threads, every relationship tangling in one and Jungkook is winded by the events happening in front of him once more.

“Jungkook… is this… is this your fiancé?” Taehyung asks, pulling Jungkook from his spiraling reservoir. Although, even being addressed directly by Taehyung, he can’t find it in himself to respond as his eyes linger at the way Jimin is clinging to Taehyung as if he’s afraid. It sets Jungkook’s heart ablaze in shame and sorrow.

Why couldn’t he just tell Jimin? Why didn’t he just let him know as soon as he found out? This was infinitely worse. This entire thing shouldn’t have happened.

“I am,” he hears Eunwoo clarify, but Jungkook is starting to feel numb when Jimin snatches his arm away from Jungkook and begs Tae to get him out.

“Are you sure, Chim?” Taehyung softly asks Jimin. “I think… I think we need to talk this out.”

“I’m trying to fix things, Tae…” Eunwoo pleads quietly. Jungkook isn’t aware of the slight fear in his eyes as he’s begging to Taehyung -his focus solely on the way Taehyung is now cradling his lover in his arms because he refuses to have Jungkook around him.

f*ck, that hurts to see.

“Later,” Jimin pleads. “Maybe later. Can we go, Tae Tae? Please?”

“Jimin, please,” Jungkook begs, reaching for him once more but being stopped by Taehyung’s quick reflexes. He looks to Jungkook with sympathy and shakes his head. Jungkook is able to read his lips as he apologizes, but it doesn’t make him feel any better when the two finally leave his home, abandoning Jungkook in disarray.

Jungkook crumbles to the ground, hand in his face as he desperately tries to stifle his own sobs. But the tears still fall, and his heart still breaks.

Time. He just needs time.

No f*ck that. Time is what led to this misunderstanding. Frozen time is what led for the misunderstanding to manifest into Jimin rejecting him. He’s not f*cking waiting anymore.

Jungkook shoots up on his feet and makes his way hurriedly to the door. Maybe if he’s quick enough, he’ll be able to catch the two before they leave. He’ll explain… he can’t have Jimin conjure up anymore ideas in his head, knowing very well of his own lover’s insecurity.

He’s never been open to Jimin about Eunwoo… and maybe he should’ve had. Then none of this shouldn’t have f*cking happened.

However, before he could reach the door, Eunwoo is pulling him by the wrist, stopping him. Like he always has… like he always will… f*ck, nothing has really changed then, huh? Jungkook is seeing red as he fluids his grip away and pushing Eunwoo aside from his path.

“You shouldn’t go after them!” Eunwoo screams.

f*cking screams; he never screams. But it’s the worst time because Jungkook isn’t having it. He’s not letting whatever f*cking insanity get in between his happiness with Jimin. That is not happening.

“I’m not your f*cking fiancé anymore! I don’t know what led you to lie to them, but get it stuck in your head that I’m done. I said I’d be there for you, Eunwoo. But I’m not going to f*cking be with you anymore.”

“Taehyung is in love with Jimin! You’ll only get hurt!”

“What?” f*ck him for letting Eunwoo say the one thing that can make Jungkook halt in his chase.

“Taehyung is the one that helped me when I sprained my ankle,” Eunwoo is quick to say, working hard to keep Jungkook from running off again. “He told me he had someone he loves back home that he needed to get back to.”

“He… It…it doesn’t matter. Jimin is with me.”

“Yet he left you behind just now. And he left with him. Don’t you see?”

“Shut up,” Jungkook seethes.

“He told me all about how much they love each other. He told me how he was going to confess the minute we find our way back to Korea. Jungkook that man is in love with him. And I’m certain, your little boyfriend feels the same-”

“I said shut up!”

Jungkook’s mind is running wild. It would make sense. It’s something Jungkook has thought about time and time again -he, too can believe that, it isn’t even remotely impossible for something like that to commence. Jimin has always told Jungkook about his love for Taehyung… maybe he wasn’t saying the full truth and how deeply his love went.

Maybe the reason why Jimin couldn’t even look at him… didn’t want Jungkook to explain is because it’s a perfect way to end things. He could be with Taehyung if Jungkook is out of the picture now. And it wouldn’t even be his fault; it’d be all Jungkook’s doing.

As soon as the scenarios play in his head, the more ridiculous it sounds.

Jimin isn’t like that. He knows Jimin.

“You don’t know him like I do.”

“And you don’t know Taehyung like I do. He really loves him,” Eunwoo grits out. “It was always about Jimin. Every night, every morning… the last and first person he talks about is Jimin. Do you think you can come in between that kind of love? Do you think, someone he’s only known for eight months, can come in between years of their bond. Do you think you really matter now that they found their way back to each other?”

“Eunwoo… you need to shut your f*cking mouth,” Jungkook shouts, turning to him with so much hatred and rage.

“Why? Because you don’t want to hear the truth. You know it, too,” Eunwoo presses, staring hard into Jungkook’s rage.

“Jimin and I have only known each other for eight months and he’s already came in between years of our relationship. f*cking saved me from it.”

“Jungkook.” Eunwoo is glaring at him now, but Jungkook doesn’t give a sh*t and doesn’t cower down. He can’t bring himself to run after Jimin anymore because he does believe in Eunwoo’s words… but he can’t stomach having the other gloat over having that hover over him. Jimin and Taehyung never shared the type of love he and Eunwoo sadly did. If you could call it love. So of course, Jimin was able to come in between his relationship with Eunwoo. All Jimin needed to do was smile and he’d crumble on his feet for him.

But… it’s different with Jimin and Taehyung. Jungkook felt insignificant compared to their bond, and with that thought in mind, Jungkook believes in Eunwoo’s words despite how much it tears him apart.

“Let them be together, Jungkook. Taehyung suffered without him… he deserves to be with the person he’s fought to stay alive for.”

Jungkook wants to break down and destroy everything in his path…

How could he…

He was just starting to be happy.

He really doesn’t have a place anywhere. Jimin left. Taehyung will be there for him -he doesn’t need Jungkook to feel better. He’s only trouble to his hyungs… putting them in awkward and painful situations whenever he’s involved with Eunwoo.

f*ck. When did things start to fall apart…

“I’m leaving.”

“What? No… you said you’d be there for me.”

“Call me if you need sh*t to be done that you can’t do yourself. I’m moving out. Here’s your phone… we got your finances straight. You’re always so collected, Eunwoo… I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Jungkook is so f*cking tired. So f*cking exhausted of everything. He’s supposed to meet up with the love of his life, and make a good impression with Taehyung… they were supposed to be happily bonding with his hyungs.

Of course, sh*t like this always happens to Jungkook.

“I can’t be alone.”

“Then ask someone else, Eunwoo. I’m only going to fight with you. You have many friends.”

“I’m not close to any of them.”

“I’m sure you know why,” Jungkook scoffs, no longer caring for considering feelings when he already feels like walking death. “Minji and Sehoon occasionally talk about you at the company… try asking them to come over. I don’t f*cking care. I need to be alone right now.”

Jungkook is already shuffling out the boxes of Jimin’s things and his luggage toward the door, pushing away whenever Eunwoo advances toward him.

“And where’s my phone. You’re the reason why Jimin came here unannounced. Rushing me this morning, and hogging my phone all night.”

“You said I could borrow it…”

“I’m mad, Eunwoo! You said you wanted to hear my feelings, well here it is. I’m f*cking mad as hell you referred yourself as my fiance. We aren’t anymore. You knew who Jimin is to me. That sh*t doesn’t stick right. I’m f*cking sad that he left. I’m f*cking broken seeing him leave with Taehyung! So if you could, for one f*cking second, care for my feelings, f*cking let me do this!”

“I never meant to hurt you like that. I was just mad, too. Finally seeing the person you left me for. I got possessive.”

Jungkook groans and lifts the last box toward the door before turning on his heels to search for his phone in the bedroom.

“Where’d you put my phone?”

“Your phone?” Eunwoo repeats anxiously. “I… it’s in the living room.”

“It isn’t. I looked around earlier. You brought it in the bedroom, Eunwoo! Where is it?”

Jungkook is going through the bed, but Eunwoo is going at great lengths to impede his search, urging Jungkook to look elsewhere. “I’m sure it’s in the living room. Why don’t you check there and I’ll search here. I can’t remember where I-”

At that point, Jungkook lifts the sheets and pillows. He finds it tucked underneath the pillow Eunwoo laid on last night. Eunwoo detaches himself from Jungkook dismissively, biting his lips as he peers over Jungkook’s shoulder as the younger checks his device.

“I need to make a call… can I borrow?”

“I got you your own phone; use that.” Jungkook isn’t really sure why Eunwoo is acting the way he is regarding his phone, but he doesn’t care one second to ask. He just needs to get out -breathe and calm down. He can’t do it with Eunwoo around… can’t do it in this f*cking house.

Great. His phone is dead.

He sidesteps away from Eunwoo and hurries out.

Before finally leaving and filling up his trunk with his and Jimin’s belongings, he takes in the visual of Eunwoo standing emotionless by the threshold, watching him work with a grim line on his lips. Jungkook’s anger starts dissipating, the cloud of rage clearing over which brings forth Jungkook’s empathy once more.

He lingers on his side of the car door briefly before looking up to Eunwoo with a softening expression.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry, Eunwoo… please be okay. Let me know if you need anything. I just -I just can’t stay here with you anymore. I’m happy you’re alive and well… I’m happy you’re back…”

“Then let’s be happy together. Just as Taehyung and Jimin are.”

Jungkook is in his seat and driving off almost immediately, the request burning in his mind regretfully because it only paints a picture of how his love was comforted in the arms of another. And Eunwoo’s words never pierced as painfully as that did.

Upon the drive to a random hotel, Jungkook completely forgets Jin’s offer of a steady home ready and furnished to stay at temporarily. But he doesn’t care as he’s booking a room for an entire week at a hotel a few miles away from his home, far into the city. He doesn’t even care to charge his phone as he plops into bed in burnt out energy, replaying the events of earlier.

All he sees is Jimin’s cold, hard expression. He’s never seen him so mad like that before. He’s seen him annoyed, hurt, and sad, but never so desolate -as if he’d broken him. It reminds him of his first confession, the night his stupid mouth had accidentally pushed Jimin too far to a point he’d look ready to give up on him… f*ck, he nearly had.

Is it happening again?

Is Jimin giving up on him -is it easier now that he has Taehyung back?

Don’t doubt him, Jungkook reminds himself. Jimin is kind… he tries to replay everything in his mind and figure out where everything started to go down hill.

How long was Jimin waiting in his home?

Jungkook flips over on the hotel bed and plugs in his phone to charge on one of the nearby nightstands. Even if Jimin didn’t want to talk to him, Jungkook has learned from previous mistakes that it’s best to at least let him know that he’s still there -that he’s not pulling away again.

That’s when he sees it.

When he powers his phone back on, and the screen loads, masses of texts flood his screen from his hyungs and Jimin. Majority of them being from Jimin.

He doesn’t open it right away, because the previews of his texts make him feel numb. So he clears them and just settles for looking at the photo of him on his home screen.

It’s newly changed -a photo of Jimin smiling as he turns his back toward him walking down the night streets of Tokyo. He is so beautiful and so incredibly and gorgeously happy. Every night and day with him is heaven sent and there’s no way anyone is going to come in between that beautiful memory of them… the potential they have with one another.

Not even from himself and all of his pathetic hesitations.

He quickly shoots Jin and his hyungs a text saying he’s okay and that he’ll explain everything later. What matters right now -what will always matter is making sure Jimin never questions his intentions or his heart. Jungkook won’t stay idly by, even with his insecurities and doubts; he won’t be like that anymore.

He’s not the same person -no longer the submissive person he was with Eunwoo… or the cold and distant person Eunwoo saw him as.

He opens the messages sent by Jimin and quickly scrolls to the top.

The last text he remembers is the photo and he and Tae that he sent… however, the next set doesn’t make entire sense as it’s dated early in the morning. Frantic texts of Jimin asking him what he meant, if he was okay, and what he meant by fiance.

Is this why Eunwoo was so frantic in getting to his phone first? The other had wanted to delete his messages before Jungkook could get a whiff of what he was doing.

Jungkook couldn’t hold in his laugh, the disbelief in his voice when he deduces that there’s no other explanation than the conniving acts Eunwoo could have pulled off. Of course he could have been behind it all -why didn’t Jungkook see it sooner.

It’s so amazing how easily fooled Jungkook could be and how quick he is to fall for Eunwoo’s manipulation once more. Maybe being stuck in an island isn’t enough to reassess someone’s behavior, it isn’t enough to change a man and reflect. No, maybe the trauma made him worse. Eunwoo came back and he’s still the same, manipulative soul… and Jungkook played right along with it.

Eunwoo managed to wrap him around his finger all over again… get him to do his bidding last night, fall for his pleadings, and let the other put a strain in his relationship with Jimin all in just a few minutes and a few texts he’d already deleted.

Eunwoo got Jungkook feeling as if he’d been the instigator and bad guy during his relationship. Once more, he had Jungkook feeling worthless. He made him believe he isn’t enough for Jimin -he had tried to control him and his feelings… kick him down and try to get a reign on him.

Thank f*ck Jungkook got out of their quick. Any longer and maybe he would have drowned in his tactics and let himself believe that his happiness isn’t worth it. Any longer and all of Jimin’s belief in him may have been shattered. Any longer and Jungkook may have become yet again a soulless puppet.

He’s mad. He’s so incredibly frustrated.

One night. That’s all it took. Packing Jimin’s things, staying the night, and helping him in the morning -they were all probably part of his f*cking plan to paint an image for Jimin to see and believe that he had chosen to be with Eunwoo rather than him. A case that will never be proven true. However, Jimin had came and stayed to confirm with him directly, and Jungkook’s lack of communication and reflexes only seemed to confirm the results.

That’s what ultimately destroyed Jimin. That’s what caused the other to shy away from him and seek comfort from Taehyung. Because he genuinely believed Jungkook had given up on him.

But he’d tried to explain, Jungkook muses, frowning and sinking into the bed as he scrolls pass the messages of Jimin asking why… and what he meant by picking up his things.

Tears start to stream down his eyes in discomfort and his heart twists in his chest. But there’s relief in his body when he breathes and realizes these are all miscommunications that could be fixed. He just needs to -he needs to call Jimin.

“Hello? Jiminie? I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. He… f*ck, he took my phone, love. I’m sorry. It’s not what you think. I never texted you anything last night. It was all him. Everything… whatever he said… I don’t know f*ck-”

“Jungkook?” Jungkook stops mid ramble, the unfamiliar tone of another man, far from Jimin’s sound sounded through the speakers.

Confused, Jungkook pulls back his phone to observe the caller ID: Jiminie Love.

It isn’t Namjoon… or any of his other hyungs.

“Hello?” Deep. His voice is deep and matured.

“Taehyung?”

“That’s me,” he sing songs, a feat that took Jungkook off. He sounded so positive and optimistic, even after having witnessed his soulmate cowering in his arms hours before. He’s sure Taehyung would be the last person to speak with him in any sense of kind nature, but if he were to be Jimin’s soulmate, he shouldn’t be surprised.

Jimin is gentle and warm… of course the person he’s been with the longest would have some sort of the same characteristics.

Never the less, Jungkook is on guard, wanting both to impress Taehyung, but also show that he’s not backing down. If any of Eunwoo’s words rang true, then that meant Taehyung loves Jimin on a romantic scale.

“Listen, Taehyung-”

“No, no,” Taehyung interrupts curtly. “I’m going to have you listen: Jimin is knocked out in bed with tears in his eyes. He’s whimpering and heartbroken.”

“What?” Jungkook shoots off from the headboard of the best so he’s sitting up right. The visual of his baby all curled up, crying doesn’t bode well with Jungkook. He’s been with Jimin through majority -if not all for his breakdowns. It doesn’t seem right for him not to be with him right now. Yet, his heart saddens over the possibility that he may not be wanted… that his heartache is because if him.

So he stifles his movements, forces his legs to stay in place and not swing over to sprint over to Jimin’s right now.

“He’s… he’s not doing so well, alright? And I’m gonna need you to come here and put a smile on my little precious’s face.”

Jungkook internalizes the request. He’s not too sure what he means, or if he means it at all, but he lets it sink in. It doesn’t make sense that Taehyung is the one asking him to come over. Unless it’s a trap, but even so, Jungkook wants to see Jimin -wants to cheer him up and explain to him that whatever he’s conjuring up in his mind isn’t at all true.

So even if he’s silent, Jungkook is getting up from bed and taking his keys with him.

“Hello? Jungkook? You still there?”

“Yeah, yeah, oww, f*ck,” Jungkook grunts as he’s hopping on one foot now to alleviate the pain of his stubbed toe against the wooden threshold. He’s holding the phone up against his ear with his shoulders and angles his body uncomfortably to slip in his shoes. He stumbles a few more times, grunting and moaning as he turns into the edges of the wall on his way out, sporting new bruises on his skin and finally jogs down the hall.

Then he pauses when he makes it toward the elevators, pushing up against the button despite the uncertainty.

“Umm, hey you okay? Are you on your way?” Taehyung asks through the line.

Jungkook swallows the hurt in his heart. “…are you sure he wants me?” He asks quietly, stepping into the elevator with fear of Taehyung’s answer.

“Honestly, I don’t know. But he’s crying about you… and he’s crying for you. So… look, or listen… just hear me out… I spent an entire day with him yesterday… and after him comforting me and hearing out what I’d been through, I just wanted to know what he’s been through.”

Jungkook watches as the number descends from his floor at the 19th level and tries to listen in on Taehyung’s optimism at the same time. He’s getting disorientated because his mind is also full of Jimin in bed crying, and his heart bleeds at that.

“And he talked about you… the friends he’s made. By the way he talks about you… I know that you’re a great guy -I felt that way when I saw you at the airport. I want to get to know you Jungkook… more than what Eunwoo had told me.”

“You.. he talked about me.”

“Yeah… and let’s just say… I trust Jimin’s words more than his. And if he thinks I’m gonna let him get away with hurting Jimin like that, he’s wrong. I’m trusting you, Jungkook. I don’t usually leave Jimin behind when he’s like this, but I need a word with Eunwoo if you don’t mind.”

“You’re going to talk to Eunwoo.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“I- he’s a little… I’m sorry if he did anything to you Taehyung… he’s a little… he does things without thinking of others sometimes.”

“The fact that you’re apologizing on his behalf says loads about your character, Jungkook. Trust me when I say he doesn’t deserve it. Please take care of Jimin.”

Jungkook runs out of the elevator, sprints pass the lobby, and skids his way toward his car parked out front. He’s pretty sure Taehyung is hearing his labored breathing as he climbed into the driver’s seat and explaining to Taehyung that he’ll be there in about half an hour.

“I’m sure you’ll have a key?”

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

“Alright, I’m gonna head out soon, then.”

And before Taehyung could hang up, Jungkook stops him. “Hey… lunch is up by the way… when everything is all said and done. It’d be really cool to meet you properly.”

He hears Taehyung laugh through the receiver and it sends a similar kind of happiness vibrate through his body as it does with Jimin… like acceptance.

“Yeah… I’d like that.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta prepare to meet your fiancé.”

“He’s not-”

“I’m kidding,” Taehyung laughs, calming Jungkook’s raging heart down in an instant. “I’ll see you, Jungkook.”

“You too, hyung.”

Jungkook is standing in front of Jimin’s door. He’s been in Jimin’s place unannounced countless times, even barged in that one time when he first had his first connection with the other over late night comforts. Yet now, he can’t even seem to reach for the door knob and make his way inside. But he wants to see him, be there for him, embrace him, and promise him sweet assurances.

The key burns in his pocket jeans. He rolls the pad of his fingers over its shape just above the fabric, contemplating if this is something he should do… if invading Jimin’s space will be okay.

Jungkook nods his head.

It will be okay.

He finds Jimin in bed, curled in the center, hugging his pillow tight against his chest with the sheets tangled all around his limbs. He hears his heart shatter and feel the lingering threads splinter and pierce his insides. There’s not a moment of hesitation anymore; there’s no way Jungkook can stand aside and not have Jimin in his arms whenever he’s like this.

He’s slow in his movements, placing his knee above the edge of the bed first before dipping his entire weight on it.

“Tae?” Jimin croaks out.

That’s enough to have Jungkook crowd over him, slipping his arms around Jimin’s dainty waist and strong muscles and pull him close to his chest. He nuzzles into his neck and gets washes of his familiar scent before breathing out an apology, clutching tighter when he feels Jimin go rigid in his embrace.

“Koo?”

“I’m here, baby, I’m here.”

Jimin snuggles into his touch, shimmying his body closer to him, and Jungkook invites it -craves for it. “I’m sorry, love. I’m sorry.” Jungkook cries into his shoulder, never wanting to part from his warmth.

“I’m sorry,” Jimin moans out, voice cracking from the intensity of his cry.

At that confusing exchange, Jungkook pinches Jimin’s chin lightly and brings it back so that he’s facing him. But just before they make contact, Jimin is shaking away from him and hides into his chest. Moisture starts seeping through the fabric of his shirt, which only has Jungkook quickly wrapping both his arms around him for needed contact. He lets Jimin cry, and doesn’t question him even if he has no idea what he’s apologizing for.

“Baby, are you not mad at me?”

“No,” Jimin cries out loud.

“Are you… baby, why are you crying? Is it because… baby, he was lying. You know I’d never leave you, right?” Jungkook is firm in his tone -he needs Jimin to know that, needs him to believe in him again. There’s no option left for Jungkook do in this room with Jimin than to make him smile again and assure him.

“I love you, Jimin. I’m not… I was just… I did pack your things because I had no intention in staying in that home anymore. I didn’t want to stress you out while you were with Taehyung so I decided I’d tell you later when I got things settled with him. He needed help and I helped. That’s all it was. He’s… I never told you much about him -but maybe if I did you’d know that he… he’s not really a good person, love. There’s no way I can be with him… that I could ever choose him over you. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best person for me. I love you so much, love. So, so much. You have to believe me, Jimin. Please believe me… I can’t -I can’t lose you. Please, Jimin… please…”

He isn’t sure when he started crying, but the tears fall from his eyes like waterfalls with no sign of ceasing. There really is no end to his suffering; he thinks he’s all out of tears having cried buckets, but he’s full of sorrow.

“I can’t lose you… I can’t,” Jungkook whimpers, shaking despite being the one who’s needing to comfort, yet turns out being comforted when Jimin lifts his head to kiss away the tears. His precious lips warm his cheeks, encourages Jungkook to crack open his shut eyes to seek solace in familiar hazelnut orbs. He melts instantly, feels the love bloom in his chest at the way Jimin pouts up on him.

“I know,” he grovels. Then his eyes flash with annoyance. “I should have known then… but seeing all my things gone… and then seeing him… and then the texts and the way you agreed and my mind just went-”

Jungkook shushes him with kisses, presses his lips against every surface of his face: his forehead, eyelids, nose, cheeks, chin, and lastly his lips.

“I’m sorry… he really planned this all…”

“And he’s so terrible! Tae Tae gave me a little talk when we left; scolded me even for not hearing you out. Scolded me. That brat! I’m older. And then he told me he knew your fiancé…”

“Not my fiancé,” Jungkook cuts icily, kissing him once more on his lips and nibbling on his cheek as a sweet reprimand.

“He told me how he… he confessed to Tae, did you know? After Tae Tae helped him with his ankle, helped fed him… helped him survive… but even before that Eunwoo had already told him he was engaged. Can you imagine the shock Tae felt hearing that he’s willing to leave you for him? Laughable. Why’d he want to leave you. You who moarned for him… who cried for him… who loved him… even if… even if he was horrible to you. The things Tae told me…” Jimin chokes out a sob. “I should have slapped him! I should have never given him the chance to see that his stupid plan worked.”

Jimin scrambles out of Jungkook’s arm, perplexing the younger to a point where he has no clue what to do but watch as his lover swings his body out of bed, stumbling as the sheets follow him.

“Jimin where are you going?”

“Gonna slap the sh*t out of Eunwoo, that’s what I’m gonna do.”

Jungook’s eyes widen at the threat spilling out of Jimin’s mouth, hard and cold, but said from such a cute pout and tear stricken cheeks, and adorable looking eyes. How can anyone feel intimidated? But he’s surely not doubting Jimin’s rage, so even if he’s laughing at the absurdity of the changing of events, Jungkook is quick to lunge over and grab Jimin by the waist.

“Baby, baby, he just came back from the same trauma Taehyung faced. Maybe you shouldn’t do that, hmmm?”

“Like I’m gonna let him get away for making both of us as fools,” Jimin spits out, trying to thrash against Jungkook’s hold to no avail.

“Taehyung told me… you were crying for me… baby, why?”

“Because I should have known better! The way you were acting when we first met… how you’re afraid of being silly, how you literally could not find joy in the little things, and dropping our hyungs and your passions… you never told ne much about Eunwoo, but your actions definitely did. He… he was abusing you.”

“What?” Jungkook shakes his head crazily. “Jimin, no, he’s never laid a hand on me.”

“Not physically, Koo.” Jimin chuckles lightly before turning over to cradle Jungkook in his arms now. “Your mentality, love. What has he done to you… what he did to you… I’m sure you aren’t even aware of the damage he’s caused.”

Jungkook sinks in his hold. Shame hugs him like an old friend, a reunion to somber to acknowledge but allows. “He’s not all too blame. I make my own decisions.”

“Hmm… even so, it’s easily to influence decisions when you break a sound mind. Did you want to leave your hyungs behind?”

Jungkook shakes his head.

“Did you want to drop your passions?”

Once more, he shakes his head.

“He was jealous of you, and you had no clue…” Jimin lifts Jungkook’s head kindly so that he’s facing him now. Doe eyes sparkling with unshed tears that Jimin leans downwards to kiss away fall anyway from the gentleness in his love. But Jungkook blinks and he takes in Jimin’s words after taking in the beauty of his face.

“What do you mean jealous?”

“Oh man… this isn’t good, love.”

“What? What is it?” Jungkook panics, eyes skimming the anger flicker in Jimin’s face. “Did I say something wrong. Lemme fix it.”

“No, love, no you didn’t,” Jimin shushes. “He did everything wrong. But just thinking of what he did…”

Jimin tries again to pull away from Jungkook, but this time the younger doesn’t let go.

“What did he do? What’s gotten you so mad, love?”

“He told Tae he wanted to be an idol, did you know that? He was confessing, all his secrets I guess -like guilt confessions when you think everything is over. He said he didn’t get chosen because Jungkook took his slot… a slip of a name on his part, but Tae remembered distinctively. Told Tae he got jealous and convinced the recruiters you had issues -that you were problematic. He told Tae he only got together with you because he felt guilty since he didn’t get in even after sabotaging you.”

Jungkook curls his hands in aggression. It’s such a ridiculous allegation… yet Jungkook can actually believe it happening. So everything up until this point has been a lie. Everything was a lie. Every f*cking thing.

He met Eunwoo not long after his denial into the company.

He found comfort in Eunwoo because he’d been in his lowest point.

Eunwoo f*cking took advantage of that all because he felt bad?

“Baby… I don’t know why he did what he did after… I don’t know why he decided to stay with you… convince you of things you aren’t… I don’t know what kind of f*cked up mind would continue to try to break what he couldn’t fix. He took your future and he has the audacity to try and control it now?”

“What was I to him?” Jungkook whispers. “A charity case? After the sh*t he pulled? Was I easy? Is that why I never f*cking satisfied him -he was just keeping me on a damn leash? And for what? So I don’t become what he failed to be?”

Jimin hardens his glare and clicks his tongue, nodding his head as if ready to fight.

“Which is why we go over there and beat his ass.”

“Jimin… I didn’t think you were the violent type.”

“I’m not,” Jimin rolls his eyes. “But I make exceptions. No one treats you like that and gets away with it.”

“Baby, he nearly died… I think he’s suffered enough.”

Jimin frowns. “You’re not trying to protect him, are you?”

Jungkook shrugs. “I’m mad as f*ck right now… but I have you, Jimin. He really isn’t worth it. And he’ll continue suffering his own karma if he continues to be this way. He’s having his own karma right now.”

“What do you mean?” Jimin tilts his head, but his scowl is still vivid on his face. Jungkook kisses it away.

“His plan didn’t work. I’m still here with you and you’re still here with me. I left him. And Taehyung is probably giving him sh*t right now.”

“Taehyung is there?” Jimin asks, eyes large in astonishment.

“Yeah… don’t know what type of person he is but I’m sure he’s giving him Hell?”

“Taehyung is an awkward sweetheart. It should be me there; I’m the scarier one.”

Jungkook raises his eyebrows, anger set aside for sheer amusem*nt at Jimin’s cute declaration. “My baby scary? Love, you’re pouting right now.”

“I can be scary, Jungkook. I scare you.”

“Yeah, but that’s because I love you. You can say ‘we need to talk’ and I’ll be praying to all the Gods in mercy for what’s to come.”

Jungkook is smiling as wide as Jimin now. What he found out about Eunwoo is f*cking horrific, but he’s paid his due… and he’s facing his consequences. Right now, he has Jimin, a beautiful angel that loves him for all the right reasons… and someone he loves with all his heart.

He can’t feel bitter at his past when he has his future in his arms right now.

He doesn’t need to run back to face his mistake, when he has his salvation.

“You’re a sap, Koo.”

“And you love me for it. Stay with me, Jimin. Don’t leave.”

Jimin hums in agreement. “I’ll stay with you,” and Jimin kisses Jungkook softly, while climbing into his lap, hugging his waist tight and close with his thighs. Jungkook is quick to latch onto his ass, hands curving perfectly around Jimin to pull him flush to his hips. The sound that follows after is music to Jungkook’s ears; he absolutely loves the way his lover’s whimpers.

Their kisses get heavier, wetter, and more provocative as Jungkook eagerly inhales Jimin’s moans. Jungkook trails his kisses from his lips to his jaw, and licks down onto his neck -Jimin leans his head back to give Jungkook more room to suck hickeys into his skin, relishing the feel of his tongue and lips against him.

Jungkook groans and nips at Jimin’s shoulder when his little lover cants up his hips, brushing their co*cks together through the fabric of their clothes.

“f*ck, baby…”

Arms loop around Jungkook’s neck to bring him closer to Jimin’s heat as he breathes out and pants lustful wants near his ear.

“Tell me, love. Tell me what you want.”

“I want you,” Jimin begs, hands clumsily running over the hem of Jungkook’s joggers, running them briefly over the shape of his co*ck and feels the way it throbs under his touch. “Want you in me… f*ck me, love. Nice and quick. Before Tae Tae comes back,” Jimin whines.

“You’re naughty, sweetheart…” Jungkook grins. He loops his fingers around Jimin’s trousers and pulls them down, exposing his silky skin and his erection. Following after undressing his love, Jungkook pulls down his own sweats.

Jimin is quick to mount him, wincing when he bottoms out almost immediately.

“f*ck! Jimin… are you okay?” Jungkook groans, clutching onto Jimin’s hips tightly so that he doesn’t move anymore than he already has. “I didn’t… I didn’t prep you, baby.”

“It’s okay, Koo, slowly. f*ck me slowly… and then hard and fast just like how I like it, okay?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook thrusts his hips forward, jostling Jimin in intense pleasure. “Just. Like. That?” He continues to ask, and continues to thrust himself into Jimin roughly.

“Yes.”

“Let’s see how many times I can f*ck you before your soulmate gets back?”

Jimin giggles as Jungkook throws them both into the sheets. “And you say I’m naughty?”

Unknown Number

I need you

Please come back

f*ck, Jungkook. Come back right now!

You said I can come to you for anything.

Your little boyfriend’s boyfriend came by last night

Did you know?

Be mature, Jungkook. Think logically! Taehyung is back to take Jimin from you. Your love won’t last. He doesn’t love you. Think about it. Just sit down and think about it.

Stop being ridiculous. I helped you get where you are today. I’m what you need.

Not a childish sunshine boy who collects plants.

Come on, Jungkook. Get your head on straight.

Jungkook:

Stop texting me.

Don’t you ever insult Jimin. Don’t talk about him. Don’t think about him. Don’t say his name or even text it.

Figure everything out yourself. I did all that I could for you. You never deserved it. Sorry you couldn’t be an idol. Hope you find happiness… Eunwoo. Hope you’ll change.

But change without me. I’m done with you. Stay away from us.

Jiminie Love:

Are you up, Kookie? Tae Tae and I are downstairs. The others are already at Yoongi hyung’s bar.

Jungkook:

I’ll be down, sweetheart <3

“Are they always like this?” Taehyung whispers, leaning against Namjoon as he stares at Jungkook and Jimin feeding each other food from their own spoons.

“I mean… yeah?” Namjoon laughs.

“Literally every time we hang out,” Jin chimes in, stabbing away at his food with a fork.

“It’s disgusting, right?” Yoongi mumbles, rolling his eyes, though everyone knows just how fond he is of the two.

“I think it’s sweet,” Hoseok laughs, nudging Jungkook’s shoulder, which accidentally pushes the younger’s spoon away from Jimin’s lips, smearing Jimin’s cheek with cheese. “Oh! Sorry, Jiminie!”

Jungkook shoots Hoseok a playful glare before wiping the mess off Jimin’s cheek with his sleeve, melting at the way his little lover shakes his head and giggles, excusing their hyung’s apology.

“He’s a messy eater anyway,” Taehyung chuckles, reaching over to pass Jungkook a napkin instead. “He’d probably spill his entire plate on his chest if it weren’t for Jungkook feeding him.”

“He’s gotten better,” Jungkook laughs.

“So you’ve seen his mess before?” Taehyung’s eyes light up.

“A complete pig,” Jungkook continues to tease, causing Jimin to snort and punch both Jungkook and Taehyung’s shoulder with as little force as he can create.

“Wow! Great that you two are getting along making fun of me.”

“Oh Jiminie… just wait until I tell him about all your embarrassing stories.”

Jungkook’s smile widens as he pulls aways his attention from Jimin to face Taehyung. “Wow! I’m loving you already. Are you free tonight? Maybe we can get dinner?”

“Pick me up at seven?” Taehyung winks playfully.

“Oh my gosh.” Jimin sinks into his side of the seat in disbelief. Jungkook curves his arm around Jimin’s waist to pull him at his side, and presses a quick and large kiss upon Jimin’s cheek to appease him.

“Sorry hyung, I think Jimin will be jealous.”

“Oh come on Chim,” Tae pouts, fluttering his eyelashes playfully at his best friend’s direction -Jimin rolls his eyes at him. “Just one night.”

“You’re really gonna leave me alone? Both of you?” Jimin asks, sporting a pout of his own, tilting his head toward both Jungkook and Taehyung.

“That’s not fair,” the two simultaneously complains.

“Fine, how about we all just hang out at your place?” Jungkook suggests, nuzzling into Jimin’s neck.

“I’ll cook your favorites.”

“No!” Namjoon interjects. “Jin will cook your favorites.”

“Yeah, you suck at cooking,” Jimin agrees.

“You’re no better!” Tae laughs, flinging a fry at him.

“Ah. Ah, no wasting food,” Yoongi scolds.

“You sound like an old man,” Hoseok curls in on himself when Yoongi lifts his hand, acting to slap him but instead pinches his cheeks.

“You’re hanging out with Jimin too much. You’re becoming into a brat.”

“I am not a brat.”

“You are,” all six boys disagree, leaving Jimin utterly speechless as the rest laugh at his disgruntled expression.

Jungkook takes Jimin into his arms as his love blushes a furious red in cute shame. He’s never been so happy. He’s never felt so complete. He takes a quick look around at his laughing hyungs… friends he’s been with from his childhood, friends he’s made within a year… and he lingers his gaze upon Jimin who’s tucked in his arms.

He has love, pure, passionate, and genuine love.

“I love you, Jimin.”

Jimin peers up, a blush still blooming in his cheeks, and his eyes are shining, and he’s just so beautiful and Jungkook is so in love.

He smiles, with his eyes and his lips.

“I love you, too.”

Chapter 7: Confrontation

Chapter Text

“Took you long enough to come ba-” Eunwoo’s voice cuts short when the door is fully open, revealing to him an individual he isn’t too prepared to come in contact with so soon. Instead of Jungkook, he sees Taehyung leaned up against his threshold, arms crossed over his chest, and eyes cold and distant.

The look enforces a wave of discomfort to crash against Eunwoo as this version of Taehyung is completely opposite to the man he’s been crushing on during their horrid adventures. This Taehyung seems to hold no care for him at all -not anymore. The kindness in his eyes as Taehyung wrapped and tended to his sprained ankle, the one who went through great lengths to ensure that the other survivors were fed and cared for. He had always been the one with uplifting words. But none of that Taehyung was present, and Eunwoo isn’t so sure what he’s looking toward.

But one things for sure, he missed Taehyung, and this is not how he wanted things to go. He did not expect the man the other had missed on the island is the same man his now ex fiancé moved on with.

That seriously angers Eunwoo to no ends. Who the f*ck was that kid that managed to take the advantage of both the men in Eunwoo’s life?

“Taehyung,” Eunwoo sweetly smiles, despite the bitterness he feels thinking of Jimin. He side steps aside to gesture for Taehyung to come in, but the other merely stands there, assessing Eunwoo from head to toe.

Taehyung is in disbelief looking at the man he’d spent over a year with protecting, understanding with clarity that the person right now and the person then are the same. It’s almost as if he’s been betrayed, led to believe one thing and find out everything’s been a lie -played like a fool thinking that it had been Eunwoo that had been abused mentally, breaking himself down over the pain he said had been inflicted on him.

Taehyung had no clue that it had been the other way around.

The lies Eunwoo had told him -a stranger. He’d been honest about one thing, but even then, that truth angered Taehyung more.

He’s disgusted, but after a few moments of contemplating, Taehyung makes his first step into his home. A home that Jimin, his baby, had just bolted out from with tears threatening to fall from his eyes. All because of this man right here. His annoyance and rage is nearly blowing over, but Taehyung contains himself.

“Would you like water? Tae?” Eunwoo offers, side stepping to close the door and turning as he starts making his approach toward the kitchen. “Remember the tea I told you I could ma-”

“I won’t stay long,” Taehyung cuts in sternly, already settling himself onto the couch Jimin had sat in as he waited for Jungkook to come back home. Waiting with anxiety and worry over the text messages sent to him -waiting to see for his own eyes what the texts implied, and falling into a slight depression when he saw packages of his things ready to be removed.

Taehyung grits his teethe and fists his hands against his thighs.

“Sit,” Taehyung orders.

Eunwoo sighs, but his heart freezes over. Taehyung is almost repulsed by the audacity Eunwoo displayed even with the obvious tense environment weighing down on them. The other held the brevity when he sat next to him, so close his thighs brush up against Taehyung’s. This time, Taehyung doesn’t do well holding in his scowl and briskly stands; he crosses to the other side of the room, right across, to situate himself in a lone chair, ignoring the hurt that flashes across Eunwoo’s face -it makes him want to laugh.

He’s always known about Eunwoo’s little crush on him during their time spent together although the other hadn’t spoken about it directly, it was always heavily implied. Eunwoo had clung to Taehyung every chance he got, partnered up with him when the crew sought to split up for resources, flirt with him shamelessly. He knew of his crush and his approach even when he talked about having a fiancé back home… Taehyung just assumed it’s because the man back home had treated him horribly with the stories Eunwoo had told him.

Oh, how very wrong Taehyung was.

He thinks about Jungkook and remembers the way Jimin’s eyes lit up when he speaks of the man, and sulks when he told him of how sad he’d been, almost broken. And it infuriates Taehyung, because he believes Jimin’s words over anyone’s… and he’s always hated liars… and he hated how Eunwoo concocted a story that was far from the truth to him, a stranger, for no reason.

He pitied Jungkook -he nearly married a snake -someone he probably had no clue that had been sabotaging him from the very f*cking beginning. He had taken Jungkook’s happiness from for so long, and he attempted to do the same to Jimin?

No f*cking way. Like hell is Taehyung going to allow that to happen, especially not when he knows of Jimin’s struggles thinking he’d been gone… thinking that he died.

f*ck that.

“Shocking how things turn out, huh?” Taehyung deadpans, staring straight into Eunwoo’s eyes. He knows how intimidating he can be, so he’s not shocked to see Eunwoo try to avert his gaze -foregoing the usual confident person he’d usually show back on the island.

It was that confidence that rubbed Taehyung the wrong way at first -the hint of arrogance and isolation he had from others. But Taehyung is generally a welcome guy and he tried to understand that he may had a hard past -that being Jungkook at the time. Now that he know that isn’t it, Taehyung doesn’t care to even understand what it is now.

“Whatever you’ve heard from Jungkook is not true… and his new boyfriend or whatever-”

“So I’m supposed to believe you over them?” He laughs coldly at that, stopping Eunwoo’s pleads before they go out of hand. “I’m supposed to believe you? Over Jungkook’s new boyfriend, Jimin? Jimin, the best friend I love completely, and you know this!”

“I’m not lying to you!”

“You can cut the bullsh*t, Eunwoo. It’s pathetic. The one thing you probably didn’t lie to me about is what you’ve done to your f*cking fiancé.” Taehyung shakes his head. “Sorry, ex fiancé.”

“You know me,” Eunwoo tries, however to no avail. “You know me. What we’ve been through… I told you about me. Everything about me.”

“I don’t know you. I thought I did, but you’re just fake! Everything about you is fake. But I know what is real is how you f*cking ruined Jungkook’s life the moment you stepped in. How are you that petty? How are you that low of a person?”

“What do you mean?” Eunwoo gasps with feigned offense.

“Don’t, Eunwoo… Just don’t.” Taehyung pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs in frustration. He needs to get out as soon as he can. He just can’t leave without defending Jimin and his new lover… he can’t leave without avenging them for the pain he’s caused the two.

“You don’t think I’ve connected everything? You don’t think Jimin’s told me about what went on with Jungkook? You don’t think Jungkook would open up to someone that isn’t you? Thought he would never see the f*cking toxicity you put him through to open up?”

“I-”

“You ruing his dream, Eunwoo! Don’t you get that? Are you that f*cking shameless to stifle him more by locking him in a loveless relationship? Just so you could what? Continue to undermine him and his talents? Because you can’t allow him to be better than you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Eunwoo hisses, eyes standing hard and stubborn.

Taehyung can’t believe him -until the end he’s trying to deny it. Eunwoo refuses to acknowledge, though by the way his eyes are shifting uncomfortably it’s clear as day the other is aware of exactly what he’s being accused of.

No matter what he says or does, nothing can erase the confession he made to Taehyung one night when their spirits were drastically low. He can’t take back what he’s said about ruining someone’s chance at being an idol because he’d been insecure.

Taehyung clicked the pieces together when he saw Eunwoo and Jungkook together -heard what Jimin had told him previously about why Jungkook had been depressed for so long. He let it all click when Jimin came to him talking about all the missed opportunities Jungkook went through that his little blonde friend tried to convince him to try again. Taehyung let every little thing Eunwoo had said about Jungkook manifest into complete rage. That the same man Eunwoo had allowed himself to believe was the abuser, ended up being the abused.

Disgusting.

“You don’t know, huh?” Taehyung smiles tightly. “You don’t know about convincing the agency of a false reputation you put Jungkook through so he doesn’t get accepted even if he had the talent for it? You don’t know about approaching him at first because you felt guilty but decided to convince him it was pointless when he told you he’d try again? You ended up manipulating him into think he had no chance and f*cking got into a relationship to keep him like that? To boss him around and keep him in check? Was that all it was to you? For f*cking years you did that to him?”

Taehyung doesn’t stop there even if Eunwoo is no glaring at him -a rare sight as he’d always stare at him with quite fondness. But Taehyung couldn’t give two sh*ts.

Whatever disdain Eunwoo is feeling right now could not surpass the utmost fury that Taehyung is feeling.

“It’s too late to act clueless. Jimin told me all about it-granted they both know nothing of what you’ve actually done.” Eunwoo breaks his gaze, opting to stare at a spot on the floor. “You can’t pretend that it’s your fault Jungkook missed his chance as an idol. Imagine finding out it’s because you defamed his character that he didn’t get accepted… hoping you’d get his spot… but didn’t. Pathetic.”

“I actually loved-”

“Don’t tell me you loved him. That isn’t love.”

“Taehyung…”

“What I don’t get is why you had to lie to me about Jungkook in the first place? There’s a thing called reflecting, Eunwoo. You could have done that on the island. Start anew… confess you faults… come in to terms of your flaws when you’re at your lowest points… instead you painted yourself as this person who was abused.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

Taehyung sighs and slowly starts to get up from his seat. Eunwoo stays frozen in place. “Then you need to work on that. Seriously work on it… because Jungkook isn’t going back to help you with it. I’m not going to be as understanding either.”

“I came back for Jungkook so I could try again-”

“You came back to undermine him again!” Taehyung snaps, cause in turn of trying to break Jungkook down again, Jimin was caught in the cross fires and that’s unforgivable. He hurt Jimin. “You came back to do exactly what you were doing before if what you’ve done to Jimin in turn is anything to go by. The Jungkook Jimin loves is nothing like how you described… and it’s too bad that you couldn’t love him the way he deserved. It’s a blessing he’s found Jimin, huh?”

“Why are you even getting involved?” Eunwoo raises his voice, standing up to match Taehyung who’s been looking down on him, the fond easily fading from all the harsh words being directed toward him. “Didn’t you tell me you were in love with Jimin? Didn’t you confess that night that you wished you just told him how you felt?”

Taehyung bites his lip; it’s one thing he did regret, but now his highest regret is ever telling Eunwoo that.

“Why don’t we just work together? Mind me and Jungkook’s business. I can have him back and you can have your perfect, little Jimin,” Eunwoo sings offensively. “I don’t know why you two are both so smitten with him anyway -he’s not anything special.”

“You’re reading on dangerous lines, Eunwoo.”

Taehyung feels his blood boiling; he’s been agitate over Eunwoo’s treatment for Jungkook, someone he just met -Taehyung can feel the veins in his head pulse over the involvement of Jimin, his most beautiful friend and soulmate in the line of Eunwoo’s attack.

“Or we could try…” Eunwoo says softly, hopefully.

“What?” There’s no possible way he meant that, Taehyung thinks.

“I could be better. You could help me better…”

“I was alone with you on an island… you could have been better then, but you took advantage of my ignorance. Don’t ask that of me, Eunwoo. You won’t like the answer. You could never be better than Jimin.”

“Taehyung, he isn’t in love with you,” Eunwoo says seriously, hoping that could hurt Jungkook.

It doesn’t. Not even close.

“And you think that’s going to push me into loving you? You can’t compare yourself to Jimin in anyway and you think I’ll ever love you even just a little. After the type of person you’ve shown yourself to be?”

Eunwoo winces at the harsh fact, but Taehyung waves it off as a passing emotion barely worth acknowledging. For so long Eunwoo had been weighted down by his own selfish desires -it’s best he gets a taste of the pain he’s blinded himself to.

“I can be better…”

“You can be better as a person… don’t think of Jimin when you do that. Don’t think of me or of Jungkook.”

Taehyung doesn’t have it in him to feel pity, to sympathize with him, or to even entertain the blatant show of pathetic desperation. He has excellent judge of character when given off enough glimpses of the person’s life, and Eunwoo is so far down his list of acceptance -though he doesn’t doubt with enough reflection, he can be redeemed.

Though he won’t find that redemption in him. And he won’t let him near Jimin at all for him to see if he could seek that out from his best friend.

“Prove it to yourself. Be better for yourself,” he says seriously, finally side stepping to leave. Eunwoo follows him gingerly, head held low, a representation of his confidence knocked down a but for him to finally feel a smidgen of remorse.

“He won’t love you like that.”

Or no remorse at all.

Taehyung grits his teeth and turns around rapidly, the snap in his neck so quick it startles Eunwoo. There’s ice in Taehyung’s ice, so cold it could freeze over the moisture in the air -the tension so thick it could be sliced. Once more, Eunwoo can’t handle the intensity and looks elsewhere, biting his lips as if wishing he hadn’t spoken at all.

But it was too late.

Eunwoo just couldn’t shut his mouth and Taehyung has had enough.

“You are a sad person,” Taehyung spits out.

“I was happy with you,” Eunwoo whispers, reminiscing their times on the island. It was one sided for sure, but for once, Eunwoo felt like he loved Taehyung. “But apparently Jimin is everyone’s happiness, huh?”

It infuriates Eunwoo. Just what was it about that man that literally took the attention of both Taehyung and Jungkook? Made them love him fiercely, protect him intensely? What was it about him that led them to turn their backs on him so quick? Judging by Jimin’s interior designs, he wasn’t impressed. He seemed child-like and weak with the way he bolted out of his place without as so much as giving Jungkook a listening chance. Yet there were two men who chased after him like dogs.

If they wanted something to adore, they could have settled with a puppy -not a man child.

“He’s everything you’re not,” Taehyung shoots back. “He thinks of everyone’s happiness.”

“Yet he’s taken mine away.”

Taehyung laughs sinisterly, turning on his heels once more to walk toward the door. “You never had it in the first place,” he grits out. “I don’t know what damn happiness you’re referring to, but Jimin has nothing to do with what’s happening to you now.”

“He’s taken everything from me,” Eunwoo snaps back bitterly, trailing Taehyung’s steps from behind.

“You took that away from yourself. Many, many times. What do I need to say for you to finally get that you’re the reason everything is f*cked up. You took advantage of Jungkook. You manipulate and lie to hurt everyone. Him. Jimin. And you’re trying to hurt me spouting sh*t like he’ll never love me!”

Taehyung takes the knob of the front door in his hand and squeezes it. He exhales, calms himself down before he glances toward his back, locking eyes with Eunwoo for what he hopes to be the last time.

“Get it through your head. He may never love me that way, but I love him and all that matters is his happiness. You’re bitter because I can’t love you the same way. You’re bitter because Jungkook finally realizes whatever the f*ck he felt wasn’t worth it and found love with Jimin all the same.”

Eunwoo sucks in a breath, expressing hurt.

“Jungkook’s been too kind hearted and I’d say a little naive, but I’m not the same.”

Taehyung twists the knob and pulls back to open the door, breathing in the fresh air. He can’t expel any more energy in this suffocating place with an insufferable individual.

“Jimin may very well be my everything, and I’m not gonna sit back and let you hurt him. I’m not as forgiving when it comes to him. So stay away, Eunwoo. I f*cking mean it. Don’t get near him, me, or Jungkook.”

“Do you think you could ever come to love me if I change?”

Eunwoo’s voice is small and curt. Taehyung towers over him with a lack of emotion or sway; he doesn’t sugar coat it when he shakes his head ‘no.’

“I don’t think you even love me. Since you like to remind me what I can’t have, let me remind you -if I move on from loving Jimin as more than my soulmate… whom I fall for after him won’t be you -will never be you.”

Eyes bore over Eunwoo’s, cold and distant and done.

“Leave them alone,” Taehyung warns before finally exiting, not even waiting for a reply from the man as he climbs into his car and drives out.

Tae Tae to Minnie

Hey Jiminie c: set a date for me with your lover boy, would ya? We’re gonna have a bro talk

Minnie to Tae Tae

Are you gonna give him that “if you ever hurt Jimin speech?’

Tae Tae to Minnie

Well if he’s gonna claim to love you more than me, I should make sure of it, right?

Though he should know now that no one loves you more than I do

Minnie to Tae Tae

Lol silly

He says 7 tonight? With the rest of the guys? Namjoonie misses you and he wants you to meet Jinnie hyung.

Tae Tae to Minnie

I’ll be there

Hey Jimin?

Minnie to Tae Tae

Yeah?

Tae Tae to Minnie

I love you. I missed you.

Minnie to Tae Tae

I love you, too…

Thank you for coming back to me...

Tae Tae to Minnie

Always! <3